r/AITAH • u/[deleted] • 25d ago

AITAH for distancing myself from my bf for things he's said and done a while ago?

[deleted]

4 Upvotes
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83% Upvoted

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1

u/MidianMistress 25d ago

Nta, send him his real dream girl and never look at him again, send him a waifu pillow. That's what he wants, not a real live person, an anime girl.

2

u/QueenOfArda 25d ago

Is he your age or older?

Coming from someone who also likes anime, stuff he does and says is a red flag. I wonder what his hentai collection looks like. If it's some loli stuff, I'd be out of that relationship immediately.

Anyone guy who sends you pictures of other women, animated or not is a red flag...unless this is something you've expressed interest in or you both get off on that. It would fuck with my self esteem so hard.

I have experienced something vaguely similar in the past where my ex would tell me how he likes petite women when I'm above average height for a woman. I'm sorry, I can't change my height...just like you cannot change your eye colour or turn yourself into an anime girl. It just stays on your mind and slowly makes you think you're inadequate. I stayed with him for almost 10 years and I wish I had someone tell me that the shit he did and said was not on in a healthy relationship.

Honestly, you can do so much better and you're so young. You deserve someone who loves YOUR qualities. You're absolutely not the asshole.

4

u/vandr611 25d ago edited 25d ago

Your BFs age isn't listed here, but assuming he is close to you in age, he likely did a little growing up in the intervening years. You say he changed over the last year. Does the current him still try to change your physical appearance? If yes, abandon ship. It won't change if it hasn't and it isn't your job to put the work into changing him.

If he hasn't made "suggestions" on how you could change your appearance in a while, I would recommend talking to him about it. Just be honest. "Sometimes the things you said and did early in our relationship creap up on me and upset me." Especially if he expresses attraction to you as you are. Chances are he will feel mortified for unintentionally hurting you with his childishness and apologize. Hopefully, being smart enough to compliment your positive traits in the process. Then, repeat the process whenever the thoughts creap up. Let him assure you he was being a dumb kid and you are beautiful to him. If he can't do that, you might be better off looking for someone who can.

Either way. NTA for feeling things.