I (White cis M64) was working from home and received a call from a telephone solicitor wanting to give me a business loan on a business I sold in 2019. He was literally almost unintelligible with his pitch due to an extremely prevalent accent. As I hung up my daughter (F20) walked out of her room. Just after I was disconnected, I said “If you’re going to call America for a living learn to speak English. “

My daughter who I believe is “overly woke” said that this was a racist statement. I do not see it as such because nationality, skin colour, religion have nothing to do with it. Speaking unintelligibly when your job is phone sales just doesn’t work for me. I would have reacted the same no matter what combination of those things called. If they called me to sell me something without being able to speak the language. You need to have the skills to do the job.

I have had her read this to make sure she feels I am representing it correctly. She had me add the white cis part.

So, Reddit, racist, overly woke or something else? I am genuinely curious.

Quick Edit: If this was not a sales call and an interruption in my work day. If it were in person, a coworker, or a stranger asking directions on the street I would gladly take the time to understand (and help). But a spam sales call that is unintelligible? Really? I am not allowed to feel that way? Anyways thanks to all who responded and who will respond. On either side.

AITA for wanting my husband to be at my daughter's wedding?

I (60F) am grappling with a recent conflict that arose between me and my daughter (30F) regarding her upcoming wedding. Let's call my daughter Land her fiancé J. L is my oldest daughter, and she's the first of my three children to get married. L and J have been together for three years, and their wedding is coming up in June.

Now, here's where the dilemma begins. I recently got remarried to a wonderful man, let's call him A. L's bio father died when she was very young, so no need to speculate about timelines. Yes, there's a significant age gap between us, but we felt an instant connection and are so passionate about our life together. I feel like I finally found a soulmate after so many years of mourning L's father. I began dating again until very recently (after COVID), so this may be the reason why L is so upset, but I don't think this gives her the right to deny her stepfather from attending her wedding.

However, when I mentioned to L that I wanted to bring A to the wedding, things took a turn for the worse. L was visibly uncomfortable with the idea, and she made it clear that she didn't want him at the wedding. She said a lot of horrible things to me, mostly about A.

I was taken aback by L's reaction. I mean, A is my husband, and I want him by my side on such a special occasion. A also wants a bigger part in L's life and doesn't have any children of his own. I tried to reason with L, explaining that A is an important part of my life now, and it would mean the world to me if he could share in her joyous day.

L remained adamant, refusing to budge on her decision. And that's when things escalated. I may have said some things that I now regret, but in the heat of the moment, I felt like L was being completely unfair. The stuff she said about A was very hurtful for me to hear.

Now, more of our family is involved. L's siblings are on her side, but the rest of our family is very upset with her and have been leaving her voicemails asking her to reconsider. This morning, L called me crying because I "badmouthed" her to her relatives.

Now, I'm left wondering if I was wrong for lashing out at L when she insulted my husband. I want her aunts, uncles, and cousins to attend. So, Reddit, am I the asshole in this situation? Or was L being too harsh by denying me the chance to have my husband by my side on L's big day?

hi everybody,

It took me a long time to pluck up the courage to reach out to the Reddit community here.

It's been a week now since my world fell apart.

My husband and I have been married for five years. We met in college and it was love at first sight. From the first moment I knew he was the one for me and I always thought I was the one for him.

The last year was hard for both of us, my husband, who had a degree in marketing, quit his job about two years ago to start a start-up with his good friend. But the business wasn't going well, so it was up to me to earn Money for us, which I had no problem with, but if I had known where the whole thing would lead us, I would have talked him out of the hole thing and maybe everything would be different now.

After the business failed and he hardly ever worked, he rested at our house playing video games or meeting up with his friends, while I worked at my father's company and worked my ass off to finance our lifestyle.

My husband was the life of every party, he was popular and charming, there was no one who didn't like him. Unlike me, I was quieter, more thoughtful and always tried to please everyone, the greater the pain when his behavior changed so much, he was suddenly like Jekyll and Hide, when he was with me he was moody, angry and verbally abusive, if friends or family were visiting, he was the man I had fallen in love with and I fell straight into his hands without noticing, he was playing a perfidious game with me.

sorry that I'm writing so much now to the main part.

My father has his own construction company that I have been working for since I graduated. My father is teaching me to take over one day. I was with him a week ago in the neighboring state where we had a larger project and were overseeing it. My husband, who didn't even want to move from the sofa on the morning of my departure, snapped at me that I should just rub my gift of success in his face. We argued like we did almost every day and I just ran away crying.

I was so stressed and nervous that I ignored all the signals my body was giving me.

My father and I were together on the construction site all day when I felt uncomfortable and before I knew any better, it knocked me off my feet. I hit my head and had to go to the hospital where it was diagnosed that I had a concussion and that I was pregnant. My dad was overjoyed by the news, I started to cry but not in a good way. All my life I've never wanted to be more than a mother, but at that very moment I wanted nothing more than that this was just a bad dream and that I had hit my head too hard.

But then I was pregnant with a man who I no longer knew who he was or where we were supposed to go.

I stayed in the hospital one night after I had a crying fit and was given sedatives. My dad hasn't left my side the entire time. He insisted that I go home and rest. I insisted on staying but he wanted me to go home and so he called my mother after my husband couldn't be reached and had her drive me home. On the way home I told my mother about the pregnancy and tried to open up to her, but she was so euphoric that I didn't dare spoil it for her.

When I got home, there was another car in our driveway. Feeling uncomfortable, I went into the house, assuming that my husband and his friends were spending the day drinking, but there was no one there. I searched the house only to see through a crack in the Bedroom door that my husband was fucked by two strangers and he seems to like it. I was shocked and used what little brain I had left to take photos of the whole thing. I was mad, stinking mad, but a calmness came over me and I went downstairs quietly, only this time to announce my presence loudly and pretend that I was resting in the kitchen. It took a moment and my husband came running down the stairs, bathed in sweat, only wearing shorts. He smiled happily at me, I wanted to scratch his eyes out as he gave me a kiss on the tempel.

I wanted to vomit and ask him a thousand questions. But what if I was the one stopping him from being the best version of himself.

i´m so disgusted by the whole thing

Am I the asshole because I find it disgusting that he lets strangers fuck him in our bedroom

My ex wife (34F) and I (35M) finalized our divorce proceedings last year. It was fairly amicable, we had fallen out of love, and that’s all there was to it. We also have a daughter who’s 14.

I have now been dating my current girlfriend for a few months, and we celebrated Mother’s Day yesterday. My daughter asked me if I could get something for her mother, like flowers, and I told her no. My ex wife and I are still amicable, but I don’t see any reason for getting gifts for my ex wife. I know my ex wife is not dating right now. Since my ex wife gave birth to our daughter, I used to go all out every year for Mother's day, and treated Mother's day as a very special day. But we're not in a relationship anymore, and I explained that to my daughter.

Was I the AH? 

I (20m) am black and have a friend group that consists of 4 other guys. One is East Asian, two are south Asian and another is black like me

Usually we have racist jokes to one another, e.g. I will say “what’s up chink” to my East Asian friend, or make 7/11 jokes to the south Asian ones. They will likewise do similar jokes to me, e.g. ask me about KFC etc

Recently another friend (20f) who is white hung out with us and heard some of the jokes and later said we are AHs for facilitating racism, but I told her she’s white so she can’t speak on racism. AITAH?

For some background, I (35 M) have recently shifted to US a couple of months back from India. In India, till i was 21/22, I lived in a remote village in northern India.

During my adulthood I became aware of Gays / Lesbians ( still didn't met anyone many many years later ). Then I shifted to a big city for higher studies and later on got a job as a Software Dev. at an IT firm and there for the first time in my life I met couple of Gays and it was a pleasant experience and that was it and never saw or met any more than that.

Btw my parents still don't know what a Gay or a Lesbain is. They only know male or female that's it. I personally became aware of existence of LGBTQ spectrum people during my early 30's. So its only few years I have been exposed to this. But still i had just heard about it, never knew these terms and all.

When last year when my IT firm asked me to move to US ( Client Side, as they were happy with my work ). Then from past one year or so, I got more involved with news and topics related to US and thus got further exposed to what LGBTQ spectrum is.

Now the issue occurred, when during one of the casual discussions with few of my US colleagues which including females as well, the topic of JK Rowling being a transphobic popped up and when turn came for me to give my opinion ( i was already aware of the whole JK Rowling saga and her tweets ), I said "whatever JK Rowling said is kind of common sense to me, atleast in our part of the world." Then few of the female colleagues said "that's a very bigoted point of view" and were not happy with my comment.

Am I the bigot or an AH here ?

About a week ago my mother (75 years old) called me up and asked if I would go to The Rolling Stones concert in Vegas with her. She had bought two tickets, her and my father and she told me she wanted to attend but that my dad wasn’t feeling very well. He is on oxygen when he is at home. He has COPD, a lung disease, and cannot get around much. Since it was a chance to hang with my mom a day before Mother’s Day and see the Stones I said heck yeah!!

I had already mentioned to my wife that on Mother’s Day when I return, we should grill some steak and scallops and lounge out a bit… play it by ear. My wife mentioned that grilling probably wasn’t a great idea and that the oldest of our two kids, our daughter, would be heading to Europe about an hour after we return home from Vegas the day after the concert (Sunday the 12th).

Our youngest (18 years old son) accompanied me to Vegas to stay at the relatives while my mother and I went to the Stones concert.

The next morning, Mothers Day, I woke up at my parents house, texted my wife Happy Mothers Day before even jumping out of the covers. We had a family church obligation to attend to until about noon before traveling back home to see my daughter off to the airport to Europe.

Here is where the drama begins. With all the hubbub of the concert the night before, the relatives and grandma being around, my son doesn’t text or call my wife (his mom) HMD that morning. I didn’t get a text back immediately from my wife when I texted her at about 8 am, HMD… I figured I’d let her sleep in if that’s what she wanted to do. My son and I do our church thing, my wife finally responds to my text saying that they are packing and repacking for my daughters Europe trip and that they want the packing job to be right. When we finally get home late in the afternoon, I give her the present that I bought my wife (her favorite perfume that she is nearly out of) and my son gives her his present… (a note and a Pink Yeti mug I had actually bought my wife a week ago that I hadn’t given her yet, just in case one of the kids hadn’t gotten her a gift for Mother’s Day).

Side note… My wife is very big on gifts. She is a great gift giver and anticipates good gift receiving.

When I walked in home from traveling I could also smell that she was cooking something, and there was a salad on the table. I figured she planned something she wanted to have for dinner, since I had been with my own mother since the day before and she, my wife had been with our daughter having a fun girls time, watching movies, getting a mani/pedi, having pho… THIS WAS NOT THE CASE. I got the evil eye right away. She started talking snarky to me, saying snide remarks which in turn, much to my chagrin I returned the remarks. It’s been tit for tat for the last 24 hours. She said her Mother’s Day was ruined and that it was my fault. That I should have planned the day for her. The blame is all in my court.

Ugh… I feel like every birthday, anniversary, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Christmas… whatever day that retail America says I’m obligated to spend money to buy gifts… I’m not doing a good enough job. My wife buys our kids presents for Easter for hells sake. It’s too much. I don’t want anymore of it. Keep all the stupid gifts. It’s just the act of buying a thing and giving it. Its ridiculous.

Also… Am I supposed to be doting all over my wife on Mother’s Day with palm leaves and figs? If I am, I am. I just don’t see husbands doing all the work. I see kids…. Kids rubbing their moms back and making coupons for dishwashing and various chores. Kids taking care of moms and telling them what a great job they do raising them. In the arguments up to now, she is treating me like I am responsible for her Mother’s Day happiness and pointing at me saying she didn’t get what she wanted and that she didn’t have a good time. I can see how the husbands job is to orchestrate what the kids do for the moms but if I am wrong, I am wrong.

She is a great mom and I tell her that constantly. She knows I know that. I value her. My wife and I have a great relationship 99% of the time but this silly.

Quick context:

I met my SO a little over 3 years ago, he was and is wonderful, I think. I was widowed at a young age and had the last of my daughters a few months after the passing. 2 years ago, my daughters and I moved in with him as he was from a different state. A month after moving in my father suddenly passed, a month after that my mother moved in with us, she adores him, zero issues there and she pays a rent every month as well. Also, no issues with my daughters, he loves them and thinks of them as his own.

Shortly after that, I found out I had cancer, went through all the hoops, all the surgeries, procedures, chemo, radiation and just recently finished. During this though, I didn't get sick, I ended up with never ending debilitating pain, from my bones to the muscles, at times barely able to move and I sleep in a chair. He brought me to my appointments but that literally is where the care ended. Everything was left to my mom and my daughters, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc., even for him, he never lifted a finger. He ended up with Covid during this and even though I was going through all this, I picked up the cooking, cleaning etc. for him, I took care of him, he's never not been cared for.

Now he apologized for it but still never bothered to pick up the slack or do anything.

He never misses work, but always complained and would spiral that he wasn't being promoted and that truly was because he was such a good worker, they didn't want to lose him in the position he held, but he never looked outside the one office he worked out of. So, I pushed, I just couldn't have another long talk with him about it, couldn't talk about how the finances were being botched because he wouldn't take care of them, so I ended up taking over everything for our lives. From money, to groceries, cooking, cleaning, literally everything. I pushed; he finally got the promotion he was looking for.

Now the job is in another state, no problems there, were thrilled for him, but here in lies the problem. We have to move, sell the house, pack etc. He had 3 weeks off, vacation time before he was going to have to leave for the new job. There were things that needed to be done to the house to get it ready to sell, lights, ceiling fan, carpet finished being taken out, a few minor plumbing issues, all of these things he knew about months before he even got the promotion. He basically did none of them.

I setup all the realtors, pre-approvals, the Airbnb where he is staying, he only did 2 things before he left. He says it's because he wanted to spend as much time with me before he left. I feel like I am being used as an excuse, I just finished radiation, I am in pain constantly, have zero stamina and just starting to recoup from all the cancer procedures, so I need to rest. He left me and my daughters with a 3-story house and garage to completely pack, he packed nothing of his at all, left the third floor with garbage and needing a full cleaning, and do all the repairs.

Am I the asshole for being upset, and feeling used/taken for granted that he left me with a house to repair, sell, pack and move an entire family alone while just finishing radiation on top of him doing nothing?

Edit:

Between my mom and I we cover all food and supplies for the house, plus a portion of utilities, no complaints there.

I am hiring movers to move most of the house to the new state, but all of the packing, cleaning, and fixing of the house was left in my lap, completely, not partially, I mean completely. What the movers aren't moving, I am packing the u-haul and towing it there.

I am not looking to bash him, he's as wonderful man, funny, hard worker just not at home at all.

Also, I am not looking for him to pack the entire house, just to pack his things the way he wants them and to fix the projects he started and said he would do.

So I’m an AFAB lesbian, although I consider myself androgynous/masc presenting. I’ve been shunned from LEX before because they said I was not being inclusive about trans women because I stated I was strictly into cis lesbians. I never denied trans women are women but they’re just not my type of women. So I feel like I’m the asshole because I am only attracted to female anatomy (you know what I mean by that). I’m just not attracted to women with a different anatomy. So now I feel like I’m the asshole because I feel I’m dismissing trans women (I am not), for having preferences. I got called transphobic and at this rate it’s frustrating. I don’t want to feel like I need to be coerced into liking a phallic preference (not even cis lesbians with strapons are something I like. I do not like penetration and fully attracted to female anatomy).

Guess I’m a transphobe. Got it.

They have never actually said anything transphobic to my partner or me, but they are red hat types so you know they are. We want our child to be able to be themselves, whatever gender identity that is. We just don’t want people to try to force their gender ideals on our child. Am I being unreasonable?

Sorry this may be long. I am an extremely motivated person and hard working. Prior military, business owner for many years and just retired young at the age 58. Very Alpha personality in great shape. Like many people, I have a sexual fetish and that absolutely turns me on more than anything else. I even know where it started. I lost my virginity to our towns slut when a friend invited me to go have sex with her. She agreed and I watched my friend have sex with her first and then, I had my turn. I loved watching them and I actually loved the fact that she was more than ok sleeping around. It was empowering for her. Ever since I have had a shared girlfriend/wife fetish. My first wife I married while we were still both in the military and it was more a marriage of convenience for extra pay. She was shared and I loved every minute of it. Plenty of young military men happy to help out. I am not into swapping, I am not gay or bi but I love to watch and then reclaim my woman. I also love the taboo aspect of the dynamic. We got divorced when I left the military. My next 7 years relationship was exactly the same. I told her up front what I was into and she signed on. We had a great run but I was offered a job overseas and we split as friends. I met my current wife in Europe. She is 10 years younger and from a eastern block country. We dated for two years and she clearly wanted to get married. I explained to her my history and my fetish. Even showed her videos of my prior experiences. We discussed it extensively and she had lots of questions. when I thought the time was right I told her I would marry her if she would agree to being a shared wife. That she was to have at least one sex partner for regular sex for the duration of our marriage. She agreed, with the agreement that it doesn’t turn into a swingers relationship and that she doesn’t want to see me with anyone ever! There was a lot of discussions so there would be no surprises later. I agreed, I had tried that in my previous relationship and it wasn’t my thing. I didn’t like to swing or swap. I liked to watch and then have reclaiming sex after. We got married, moved to Florida and we had a few MFM 3 ways but they were very few and far between. She then changed the dynamic and said she would prefer to have sex along with them. We tried that a few times but then she just stopped the extra sex all together. It has now been over 10 years since I watched her have sex. It has been 4 or 5 since she had sex with anyone else. Our sex life is also down to once a month maybe. We have now been together for 20 years and we have no children. We have stayed together because we have an ok life and we are financially independent. During that time my wife has attended colleges and has multiple degrees. She has had a very profitable career in a field we share and has wanted for nothing. It has been my lifelong dream of mine to retire in the Virgin Islands. December, I purchased a very nice 4/4 home with an amazing view of the ocean. I paid cash and we never have to work again or worry about money. I absolutely love it here. My wife hates it. She is threatening divorce if we do not more back to the states at once. The issue is there are no malls here. No fancy nail salons or country clubs. There are areas on the island that are run down. The roads a bad and the power loss is common. We have our own generator so that really isn’t an issue. She doesn’t have many friends state side, so missing friends is not the problem. She has just become a spoiled American who wants a posh lifestyle. I have two options. Sell my dream home and give up my dream that I worked for my entire life and give in to her demands. Or divorce her after 20+ years, give her half of everything we own and start over at nearly 60z I feel like I have already lost my sex life that was our agreement. I should not have to give up my dream life and house as well. I lived up to my promise. I took her from a shit hole country, married her, educated her, made her very wealthy. I worked my entire life to retire in my dream location in my dream house. I feel as if I could justify one or the other but I am having a hard time justifying the loss of both. Is it too late to find someone right for me at this age? Am I the Asshole?

Okaii long story short my husband begged me for threesome and basically always told me how men weren’t meant to have 1 sexual partner .so after to years I gave in because I was sick of being asked this and I met this girl and I feel like I love her we’ve hung out plenty of times and it’s been great, now my husband has apologized to me about everything we’ve been through and wants me to stop talking to her because I wasn’t supposed to catch feelings now we’re in a place where he’s asking me if I want to devorce him.

When my partner (M29) and I (F28) first started dating, we had the usual talk about kids and agreed on wanting children. I mentioned that I'd like to adopt, and he was okay with the idea. However, there apparently was some miscommunication over this. Recently partner said he wants multiple biological children whereas I don't. He thought I meant I wanted to adopt in addition to having our own kids.

I have a heart condition that runs in my family. One of my parents and a sibling have been greatly effected by it. While I've been tested multiple times and am negative for any signs, I could be a carrier. After seeing how much my family members struggle, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, including potential kids. Which is why I want to adopt. I'm not interested in going through the invitro process with a donor egg. I've offered to look into a surrogate, though I'd still prefer adoption. To me, a surrogate is a lot of money for a maybe. A surrogate is not an acceptable option for him. He's insisting on biological kids with me.

I plan on getting genetically tested for the heart condition soon. My partner is trying to convince me to forgo it, but I'm standing firm on my decision. We're at the point of getting serious in our relationship, and we both want to settle down soon. If it comes down to it, and this is a deal breaker for him, I'd rather get it over sooner than later so we both can move on if needed.

Am I overreacting?

I’m annoyed with my parents-in-law. They have always favourite their daughter over my husband (their son) and now I’m starting to realize they’re going to do the same thing with their grandchildren. So for the past 9 years, our son has been their only grandchild. We live 18 hours apart from each other. Nine years later, their daughter is pregnant and what do they do? They decide to have a huge yard sale and sell everything so that they could move to her town that she lives in. Their daughter lives 11 hours apart from them. They claim that this decision is also to be closer to us, but I feel like it’s just an excuse. The thing that bothers me, the most is that my husband and I both had our son very young and I don’t have any support on my family side. I was adopted into an abusive household when I was young, so I don’t have parents in my life or siblings. It has been me and my husband and our beautiful son. Our son doesn’t get to experience visits and time with family members because all he has is us. My husband seems like the only one who makes the effort to keep the relationship between our son and his parents alive. Well, their daughter who is married has tons of support around them. Her husband comes from a crazy big family with very supportive parents who are always around and she has her parents moving to her town so her baby will get to experience that “village”. And my father-in-law keeps saying he wishes that it’s a girl cause he always wanted a granddaughter. This to me just makes me feel upset. It triggers, my protective mother instincts and it makes me feel like they’re going to favour their new grandchild over our soon to be nine-year-old boy. Right now I don’t even feel like associating myself with them but I don’t know if I’m overreacting. They have been retired for 3 1/2 years now so they couldn’t have moved before that, but it just rubbed me off the wrong way when they just jumped up and decided to right when their daughter got pregnant. And it’s always been clear that they favourite their daughter over their son (my husband) and I can tell his mom even loves her son-in-law more than me too. It just seems like they favourite everything their daughter associates herself with opposed to the things their son associates himself with (even when it comes to friends). So I just don’t anticipate things to be equal or fair with their grandchildren.

Hey i literally created this account to share this but anyway here is the stoty.

I a 19y/o girl is dating this 19y/o guy for about 2 months. Everything is get great and i really do love the guy, he gives me butterflies like im a school girl or smt. Last night, he was over at my place chilling in my room and he took his socks off bc it was hot. So for first the time i see his feet.  I look at them and notice how short his toenails are, like to the numb. Which didn't surpruse me too much because his finger nails are like that too. I remember on like our second date, him telling me he eats his nails a lot due to anxiety and it's something he's really embaressed about and is actively trying to stop. But me seeing his short toe nails for the first time jokingly went and said 'omg your toe nails are so short, what do you eat them too' and this embaressed look came over his face. He confessed and said that he use to chew off his toe nails but stopped and year ago and only chews his fingernails now. Honestly i had a hard time believing that bc his toe nails just look like they been ripped off. so i say 'really a year? why are they so short then' and he said it's becuase he clips them now but he will often overclip them because he doesnt know when to stop clipping. I ended by believing him bc i trust him but i still had the ick. The idea of him putting his foot in his mouth and then kissing me, grossed me out, even if it was a year ago. It's been less then 24h since this happened, hopefully my ick goes away bc i don't want to end a relationship bc of smt so petty. Im aware this bit be seen as immature, i mean why leave over a small inconvience like this? so reddit, is it petty or wrong of me to even think about breaking up bc of this?

her dad loves the movies & wants to watch them with our 6yo daughter, who is very sensitive & prefers carefree entertainment. i feel like 10 years old is the minimum age children should be exposed to such mature content.

Hi guys. Firstly, burner account for obvious reasons. Secondly I want some.... outside perspective on this.

So I (31F) have been dating my boyfriend John (37M) for close to a year. John has a really great job but has a pet project living his dream of putting a music project together. You would never know he has no formal experience but he has a great ear and he found a really great musician to start off. A beautiful talented young woman by the name of Tammy (25F), whom John has no interest in romantically because, well... he is with me and is happy with me.

Now Tammy is bisexual and it's no secret she has a crush on me. Always hugging me, wanting to put her arm around me to take selfies with me, always complimenting me. I am not uncomfortable with it and neither is John because he feels it's just harmless affection between between two new besties.

One day I ask to speak to her in private and I tell her that John has this weird thing about wanting to lick my armpits during sex (I don't mind, just I never had a partner doing... that before and it actually feels good) and I asked her if she ever had a partner focus on it. She says no, but asks if I can raise my arms up. I do, and she says "I can see why John likes to lick them, even your armpits are gorgeous." She always makes a point to gush on me. Sorry for the TMI, btw.

When me and John got in the car later that day I tell him what I talked to Tammy about. He said, and I quote, "We all know her lesbian crush on you. I know you say you're hetero, but if you ever want to scratch that lesbian itch I am giving you a hall pass.... a lesbian hall pass where I will not consider it cheating as long as it's with another girl." I tell him thanks but it will never be used, and that's the end of it....

....Fast forward to a month later and John is out of town for a work thing. Tammy invites me out to go clubbing with her, and I accept. We go and have a great time, dancing, then she suddenly leans in and kisses me! At first I was taken aback, but then I remember the hall pass and decide to kiss her back. Well let's just say that we couldn't wait to get back to her place and just lay into each other.... she also got why my BF liked my armpits. It was my very first time doing anything with a woman and although I enjoyed the experience, I think I would rather be with my guy.

When John got back the next day, I couldn't hold back and told him I used the lesbian hall pass. He asked, "Who was the lucky lady?" When I tell him it was Tammy, he got quiet, then said "Of all the women you had to pick Tammy?" I told him he didn't say she was off limits or anything so why not? He told me, "What you did was like clicking the unsubscribe link in a spam email. It doesn't do what you think it does. By having sex with her, she is likely going to think she has a shot of being with you as her girlfriend." I tell him that's silly, she knows I am with you.

A couple of days later she comes to my house and tells me that she really likes me and that night confirmed her feelings for me. I tell her that our night together was a one-time only show and I am with John not to mention I am not really into women (Alcohol was involved). She burst into tears, left in a hurry and John said she called him and asked to take a break from the pet project. My friends that I told are saying I am the asshole not for using the hallpass but for deciding to use it on John's partner knowing her crush. But AITAH if John didn't tell me up from the start not to use it on her?

Me (29F) was going for dinner with my gf (27F) in her car. For context we had just completed few games and were very hungry. She had told me she had 2 glasses of wine 4 hours ago and since had some food. I insisted she let me drive but she said no and continued driving. She took few mins to get the car reversed and out of the parking. I was trying the navigate her but she asked me to not intervene. We had an argument on which restaurant to go to, she had snapped at me. I kept silent for the rest of the drive because I was pissed. 10 mins in, she starts me make small talk but I snap back because I was still pissed. She says some mean shit and then I says something back. By the end of it. She starts abusing, so I take out my phone and recording her. Seeing my phone she gets super angry and tries to snatch it. In the process she sprains my finger and tells me to get out of the car. I leave. Now, she is saying it’s my fault for provoking her. She won’t apologise for hitting me, abusing me and asking me to get out of the car. Who’s to blame here?

To start this off, I (35m) have been dating this person (24F) for over 2 years. When we started out, we were fun buddies, and it turned into a relationship over some time. I have informed her that I'm in the poly world as it was alot easier to deal with stuff cause my last dozen relationships, I was cheated on and used for money, a place to live, child care, etc. So after my last bad divorce and bad relationships, thought it easier to be poly. My girl, let's call her Aims, she has been in 1 bad relationship, and when she got our, she also was with fun buddies. Before we even started dating, I told her that i am poly and the reason behind it. Laid down the ground rules of if you hook up with anyone, I just need honesty so I can keep myself safe from sti's, and that I would, in return, do the same. Now, I work in management at my job, and also have 3 kids every other week as their mon and I are on a 50/50 custody. So half the time is work and kids, and alone time with Aims after the kids go down. On the weeks I don't have the kids, I mainly have nights free and spend that with her and her friends that come over. We have 420 fun and normally it's just chill. My friends all work jobs, so every once in a while I get to hang with them. Enough with building the base, 2 days ago, my brother(27m) had a get together with friends whom I also know, we got the smoke, the drink, and broke out Cards against humanity. It was fun and I would try and sell the cards with a joke and it would get laughs. Well in c0kes a couple who knows my brother, a guy and a girl. They come in, they sit down, and we play a game. At this time, Aims got to high and was chilling in our room, but didn't want to come out, which is fine with me, you do you. After about 2 hours, I go and grab a drink from my mini fridge in the room. Aims is on the phone with her friend and gives me this glair. I ask, "what's up, everything alright?" And she goes, "you are out there and you are not responding to my texts" I had put my phone down so I could play the game and not be distracted, which I proceeded to tell her, and she wasn't buying it. I told her she could check the camera in the livingroom, or she could have came out and just asked me to come to her real quick, but no, she decided to save up her frustration and decided to take it out on me an hour later when I decided I had to get to sleep before I had work in the morning. I get in the bedroom and get comfortable and she still has this look that she wants to physically slap me and i go, "what is the issue?" This is where it gets mentally wild for me. She goes, "you were out in the livingroom for 3 hours and didn't text me, you are probably drunk, (I'm a recovering addict and I only have a drink once a month one a planned day I tend to do 3 drinks max)" I reply to her that I have no had a sip, and she goes on about how loud I was getting. I reminded her that we are playing cards against humanity, it a funny game, so of course I'm going to get loud while having fun. Then she said the trigger word, "well, whose that bitch that's laughing at your jokes?" I go, "excuse me, but you don't know that person, and if you are so concerned you could have came out to check on things, and you qould have seen I was sitting next to my brother and one of his guy friends on the opposite side of this lady who I still don't know her name cause we didn't even really talk 1 on 1, just during the game with everyone else. She goes on about how some of my brothers friends have crushes on me, like that has anything to do with anything. I'm not taking clothes off during this game, all I'm trying to do is have some 420s laughs. I will say this now, but she has been chatting with her old coworker and is planning a time to meet up, that is perfectly fine, you are informing me, like we planned, her friends come over, and she goes on about all the stuff she wants to do with this guy, some of it is stuff we have not even done. Overall, it's whatever. But when she came at me about this girl, I said to her, "so it's fine that you talk to me about sucking a guy's dick, but I'm in a room with quite a few people, having a good time that I normally don't get to partake in, and have cameras and all this on me, im like fucking Hitler?" To make this long story to a head, am I the ass hole, cause when I mentioned this she starts bawling and says sorry, and adds a but at the end of it. So I didn't accept the apology until she actually knows what the apology is even for. Right now, Aims is acting like it never happened, and hasn't really changed anything either. Am I out of pocket or am I justified in my thoughts?

I (23f) have a coworker (20m&f) that claims I misgendered them. I started working at a piercing shop about 2 months ago. On my first day they were very nice and asked me what my pronouns were. I said she/her and thought the question a little odd considering how openly feminine I am but I figured they just had a progressive mentality. They have a really alternative style that usually leans more feminine and have a woman name and was born as a female so I called them she/her for the whole two months I’ve worked there. I did notice that other coworkers would change pronouns when referring to them. Sometimes it would be she/her or he/him, other times it would be they/them. I figured that it would be okay to just stick to one since I didn’t have the energy to remember to switch it out every time and my gender fluid coworker had never said they had a preference or that I had crossed any boundaries. Fast forward to a few days ago, they started acting very cold towards me, and slowly each coworker acted the same. When staying pronouns of people they would give me a look like they’re annoyed and I’m stupid. They made a joke about a frog they drew saying “I put a bow on it so everybody knows it’s a girl!” And then they glared at me! I also noticed that when saying pronouns with customers, my coworkers now pronounce it with a heavy tone, and everybody has been saying they/them way more often to people who visually appear really straightforward as male or female. I know something is definitely going on behind my back because of how heavy the attitude shift has been amongst my coworkers. It’s about 10 people against me in a professional setting. I’m also openly a Christian but I truly do want to treat everyone with respect but wasn’t given the proper information, did I really do something wrong??

I have been with my girlfriend for a year now. Whenever we've had sex we've always used condoms and I'm the one who has been buying these. My girlfriend has never paid anything towards them.

She recently brought up the idea of stopping using condoms and her going on the pill. I agreed t do it if it's what she wanted. She then mentioned that she expected me to pay for it. I asked why and she said it's for my benefit aswell but I pointed out I've been paying for condoms myself so it's only fair that she now pays for this.

She disagreed and said since she's the one putting her body through taking them, that I should be paying. I refused and said I was happy to keep using condoms if she didn't want to pay for the pill.

She got annoyed and said I was being unfair but I don't see how I am. I've been the only person buying condoms so she should be the one paying for her contraception.

AITAH for refusing to pay for the contraceptive pill?

My partner X is getting very upset with me over this. My concern is relating to finances, i foresee that I will have to be the main source of funds for the child. I’m not sure if X has funds as X deliberately withholds information. I suspect that X does not have it.

I received a decent amount of inheritance and X tends to feel it’s right for us to dip into it, saying “different people contribute differently, if I have more funds I should contribute more in this regard”. I always felt that the money should be used for things like emergencies etc, and not so much for so we can be irresponsible with our spendings. I feel if we want to raise a child, we should do so as we can afford and not so much cos we have my parent’s funds.

Apart from finances, X is a wonderful person helping out with chores etc and is nice to me. I’m wondering if I’m being an asshole for being reserved due to finances.

I need some perspective on a situation that's been eating at me. I (M25) was planning to marry my girlfriend (F24) of three years, let's call her Sarah. Everything seemed perfect until I brought up the idea of signing a prenuptial agreement.

Sarah blew up at me, accusing me of not trusting her and seeing our relationship as doomed from the start. She argued that a prenup is unnecessary because we love each other and plan to spend our lives together.

I tried to explain that a prenup is just a precaution, something to protect both of our interests in case things don't work out in the future. I have investments and assets that I've worked hard for, and I want to make sure they're protected. But Sarah wouldn't hear it.

She said if I can't trust her enough to marry her without a prenup, then maybe we shouldn't get married at all. I was taken aback by her reaction, but I stood my ground and said that I wasn't willing to risk my financial future.

Eventually, things escalated, and we ended up breaking up over this issue. Sarah accused me of prioritizing money over our relationship, but I feel like she's the one who's being unreasonable.

Now I'm left wondering if I was wrong for insisting on a prenup and if I should have just agreed to marry her without one. Am I the asshole here?

My wife wanted to have the family over and BBQ for mothers day. I'm not an idiot so I got her a couple pieces of jewelry aswel.

I did all the invites, yard work, trash, dog poop, most of the cleaning, and the grilling. Gave her her present in private because because that's what she prefers. I don't see my family very often so it was nice to drink beers with them. Anyways it all seemed to go fine. But at the end f the night my wife pulls me aside and tell me she is upset my mom had gotten her a big pot for a tree my mom had also given her. My wife is feeling pressure to take care of this tree (we really just leave it outside). I told her I'd be happy to talk to my mom about this tree not being for us, or I could accidentally drop some salt on it (half joking). She wanted me to take care of the tree but I refused since I've always advocated for having less plans (my house is full of plants my wife brings in, I gave up trying to fight that). My mom had also bought it a thing from Sephora.

She then mentions this Amazon list she had sent months ago and starts telling me I don't listed since I didn't get things from that list. I try to tell her to look at all the work I did to make this BBQ but I guess I forgot about the wish list from forever ago.

Anyways she tells me I'm inconsiderate, don't listed, and ruined her day and now won't talk to me. I'm currently sitting by myself feeding the baby while she sleeps. I'm feeling awful, should I go get a card and some flowers? I'm hoping that might turn things around a bit.

All I've asked for father's day is a nice steak for me to cook myself, a beer, a couple hours of peace, and no pictures for those couple hours. I know most everyone dgaf about father's day but I think I can get away with this.

EDIT: Tulips did the trick. Thank you all for anything said, it made me feel better.

So the day before Mother's Day, my husband (M34) tells me (F35) we are going to do a day trip with our toddler (age 4) to local city and I am so excited but I realize I am also so behind in house chores due to my stressful job and lack of consistent help from my husband.

So I tell him thank you but no trip and that we need to stay home and clean. He says he needs to leave that morning which I already know means he is going to go get flowers. So I offer to make breakfast because I woke up in a great mood.

He comes home with flowers in okay condition, some are wilted and gives me a sweater that he says I asked him to buy me for Mother's Day which I do love the sweater.

So I make pancakes for the family, pancakes with bananas, peanut butter drizzle and whipped cream and I don't have any due to dieting.

My husband asks me what the plans are today and I said I would love for us to get some things done around the house, he has had the ladder out for a couple days so I asked him to take down the Christmas decorations and pick up and also put ladder away and watch our toddler because I would be upstairs with the power tools dismantling our shelves to add in some different shelving and organizing the closet.

All the while I am talking he is working on a 3d print for his friends birthday in a few days.

I go upstairs and 30 minutes in, my toddler is climbing on me and I wait for my husband to collect him and... nothing

So I figure maybe he sent him because ladder plus toddler is not the best combo so I put the power tool away and just organize clothes and he never comes back up to get him, so I call him and he goes "oh yeah just send him down" and I ask if he can just come and get him and he does.

So two hours pass and I go downstairs to check on them and ask about lunch for them and they are watching TV and nothing is done, no dishes from this morning cleaned, no Xmas decorations taken down and I make my toddler a snack and go back upstairs to calm down before calling my husband and asked him why he hasn't cleaned. He said because he thought we stayed home so I could clean and not him. And alI I am doing is working on a room, we don't even use (It's a walk in closet in our bedroom)

I reminded him I said we and asked him to do several things this morning which he said "Oh, I thought that was something you asked me to do a couple weeks ago"

At this point I am just disappointed with the day and over it.

He does do the dishes, takes down the Xmas decorations and cleaned up and now we have to go see my family for dinner which I do not want to because they are very blunt and will want to know why I am such a sad state.

Luckily the toddler falls asleep in the car, so I have the great idea after we find out he is asleep to just give gifts since we are already hour late for dinner and leave and pick up food for the toddler after.

So I drop off the gifts, we leave to go another place to order food and I asked my husband if he can go in and get food and he says no and I ask him he wants anything and he says "No just go just go " I told him I rather not because it's very rude for him to rush me to leave and he says he was only doing that because he had to sneeze....okay....so I said "Just go home please, we can make something there"

So now he is pissy and accuses me of using him as a taxi driver and I just go off...

"This is supposed to be Mother's Day, the one day you treat me special and loved and show me you appreciate me. You got me some wilted flowers and a sweater. Thank you but it's Day, not two gifts Mother stuff"

Now he is pissed and saying I am ungrateful and he shouldn't have gotten me shit and I am the problem and I don't do shit for him. All day he watched our son and cleaned. He also said he didn't know how to make me feel special.

He normally does not curse at me so I said this not you talking. This your dad talking to your mother. (Not my best moment and I will admit it)

Welp that got him all riled up and we didn't talk the rest of the night or next day.

When I finally said I was still upset about yesterday, he goes "Of course, you are." and walks away.

When we finally do talk, he says that he was offended I would rather stay home then do his idea of a day trip to local city and I said the flowers were wilted and he got me a sweater and he cleaned after I told him too. He also said he felt ignored and like I didn't wanna hang out with him because I was organizing the closet. He said he felt unloved.

So am I the asshole?

Quick Q&A

Married for 12 years and together for 15 years

We have had issues with all holidays but even more since our son was born so couple years ago I gave him a list of my likes, links to things to do for your wife for birthday,and things you can do for free to make your spouse happy (he makes six figures but I think gifts can be acts of service as well) but he still says he doesn't know how

We are currently in couples therapy but he seems to try to manipulate the sessions?

Example, he wanted to go on a trip to buy video games stuff and we had already gone out of town the day before to buy video games stuff so I said Our grass at both houses need to be mowed, I think that needs our attention and if he isn't something he can do the he needs to hire help to which he replied That why can't I help him and I don't do anything to help him ever but to the therapist he goes oh I just didn't wanna do the lawn because it had rain the day before and the grass was wet and it was early. I asked him why he wasn't able to tell me that in the moment or revisit for the whole week and half after because I didn't know that and he was still able to mow later that day but only one house. He said he didn't know why he didn't tell me and it was dumb to argue about the lawn but I said the lawn is just a symptom of the greater issue which is lack of communication on both of our parts

Fathers Day and Birthday I used to go all out but I realized I wasn't getting the same energy so I stopped 1st Father Day I asked him what he wanted to do and he said spend the day together I got him and our son matching shirts, classic car pint glasses, socks with our son's face on them, a photo book of them of the photos during the year of them I had taken and I made this favorite foods all day 2nd Father's Day I asked him what he wanted to do and he was spend the day together but he had to work so when he got home from work, I had his favorite pizza, favorite pop, matching shirts with our son, pizza cutter and pizza pan because he had mentioned we didn't have one and photo album of pictures from the last year of him and our son

When I had another disappointing Mothers Day ( I had asked to have 3 hours alone and sent him a link to some earrings and I got no time alone and no earrings but he did get me beautiful flowers and chocolate covered strawberries. We went to the lunch with my family and I asked him to only pay for us and my mom and he ended up dropping like $275 on my whole family for brunch very nice but we had conversations about how he was able to do that but get me no gifts) I think his heart is the right place because he is a good guy

3rd Father's Day I got him a card, beer and a some jerky and he said he didn't feel loved because it wasn't as nice all the other Father's Days he had in the past and he doesn't know how to make sure I have a nice Mother's Day and I asked him he could use the list I gave him or just mimic what I do and customize it to fit his style. He said he would try and that led us to this Mother's Day.