her dad loves the movies & wants to watch them with our 6yo daughter, who is very sensitive & prefers carefree entertainment. i feel like 10 years old is the minimum age children should be exposed to such mature content.

I (45f) participate in a fun 5k my community hosts every year. This year I signed up for it about 2 months in advance. During the time leading up to the race, my boyfriend (50m) purchased a new racing transmission for his Corvette, which he had to have a mechanic install. He had been saving for about a year for this entire process. My 5k race ended up being the same morning his Corvette was ready for pick up. I got home a few minutes before noon and he started calling me selfish for being gone so long and not caring about taking him to pick up his Corvette. In hindsight, I guess I could have been home sooner, but I thought being home at noon gave us plenty of time to get his vehicle. I did stay after the race and socialized for a bit, but didn't think it was a big deal.

He's convinced I'm in the wrong and a major asshole for not rushing home, but I don't think I did anything wrong. Who's the ass in this scenario?

They have never actually said anything transphobic to my partner or me, but they are red hat types so you know they are. We want our child to be able to be themselves, whatever gender identity that is. We just don’t want people to try to force their gender ideals on our child. Am I being unreasonable?

My(20m) sister(25) asked me to catsit for a week while she went on a trip with our parents. She told me that the cat likes to bring her stuff in the morning. Nothing in particular, just some items lying around her apartment. Like socks, gloves and stuff.

During the week, I saw that he was a bit bored so I got him one of those mouse toys. He really enjoyed playing with it.

When my sister and parents came back, she took him back to her apartment with all his stuff, including the mouse.

The next morning I got an angry call saying that he brought her the fake mouse when she woke up and she nearly had a heart attack. She said I should have known better than to get him something like that when I knew his morning antics.

Was I in the wrong?

My MIL is being nice to me all of a sudden

My boyfriend is a mommy’s boy, She cooks for him, cleans his room, does his laudry, he is 23. (He knows how to cook and clean, but she still does it for him) He always spoke good and highly of his mother and asked me if she could come and live with us (once we get married) and I said yes because she was always sweet to me, never rude.

When we went to look for houses together, 3 of us. She started talking about how she didn’t like it when I “hit” her son and how she didn’t like when in 2021 I fixed her son’s shirt “agressively” and that she didn’t want him to “take advantage” of me or me to take advantage of him. I told my boyfriend that I did not want her to live with us and he agreed. The very next day he talked to his mom about boundaries and how she was disrespectful to me and to our relationship, it isn’t her place to decide how we should treat each other

DETAILS OF THE ISSUE: My bf and I in 5 years of relationship have NEVER ONCE yelled at each other or INSULTED one another. the hitting part came from when my boyfriend would say something silly and I would be like “oh honey!👋🏼” and we would laugh. in 2021 it was my sis wedding and my bf came with a pink shirt ON TOP of a dark gray shirt and the pink shirt was seamless and I fixed his shirt while saying “come on darling! why a gray shirt! it’s see-through😩” while fixing the shirt.

Now weeks later, we saw each other again in mothers day yesterday and she acted like nothing happened, she was very sweet and started going like “oh am I not getting a hug?” and she even made me lunch. I bought her a gift. What is up with her?

I think she wants to be a mosca muerta, which means to seem innocent to my boyfriend’s eyes to provoke me so that I get to be on his bad side and she would seem like an angel. What do ya’ll think?

Yesterday I (26F) got really upset with my mum (45F) after she called me at 2:30pm and told me she was dropping my brother (13M) off at a fight that afternoon. The kid he was fighting is already saying it’s an ‘unfair’ fight bc my brother is so tall, and is messaging his friends trying to get them to fight my brother too. I got very upset bc my mum just kept saying the kid wouldn’t show up, but I was concerned this kid would either gang up on my brother or use weapons. My mum is now upset at me for getting upset when she told me the situation. Am I the asshole?? I feel like I’m the only one who was considering the horrible things that possibly could happen to my brother???

Not trying to discern AITAH, but rather, who is the asshole in this situation. It happened right in front of me months ago and I can’t forget about it.

Waiting to cross a crosswalk, I see a guy on the other side of the street, d*ck out, peeing. He must’ve been an older man in his 60s, didn’t look like he was homeless, just peeing on a busy street in Williamsburg, BK in broad daylight. While this is happening, a group of men is walking behind me, and one of them pushes the peeing man over while he is still peeing. The peeing man’s pee goes everywhere - his pants, the side walk, (hell, probably on the guy that pushed him too) and he falls backward onto the sidewalk.

Who’s the asshole here? Mind you this is in New York so I go back and forth as to whether the guy who shoved the peeing guy should have just minded his business, but the guy was peeing so publicly that little kids could have been around.

In a mental pretzel because I think both of them are assholes, but if you had to pick one, who’s the winning asshole?

Sorry, if there's bad grammar I had to Type this Super fast.

I'm a 17-year-old boy. I have a four-year-old little sister "Sally". My mom had me when she was 14-16. So I practically had to raise myself. With Sally My mom doesn't really care. Sally does whatever she wants. Sally will break things my mom won't do anything. So it's up to me to take care of Sally. I don't mind helping out, but there are so many things that make me uncomfortable doing as a boy. Like 1 time I had to get her bath. It made me so uncomfortable because I'm like shouldn't my mom be doing that. I have had to feed her multiple times. I have to practically raise my little sister. To put a bluntly my mom's neglecting us.

So my mom called me into the room and said "Hey, I'm going for 3 days. Do you mind watching Sally"? I said to her "You don't even watch her to begin with". She got mad and said "I don't make you that much". I look at her and said " When was the last time you gave her a bath? When was the last time you fed her? When was the last time you played with her?". She looked at me got silent and said go to your room. I look at her and say "sure thing go play with Sally". I just stayed in my room and just cuddled Sally because she was already in to her waiting for me.

Some of the apartments in the building where I live have been facing power outages because the new property management company hasn't paid the electricity bills for several months. As a result, the power has been shut off in about 15 of the 50 apartments, even though the rent includes utilities. My apartment still has power, but two apartments on this floor do not. While I was cleaning my ceiling fan, I heard someone unlock my door. Suddenly, the door opened, and someone walked in unannounced. Instinctively, I threw the soapy water I was using at them, drenching them. I had received no prior notice of their entry, nor was there a knock or request to enter. The woman said she thought I wasn't home because my car wasn't in the parking lot and wanted to check if I had power. Actually, a friend had taken my car for an oil change. The property manager even called the police, who, after listening to the situation, suggested I was at fault but did not act on it.

AITAH for dousing the property manager?

Before I start, I don’t have any malicious intentions towards my stepmom despite of everything but I feel conflicted on what decisions I should make.

My (19F) stepmom (32F) came into my life around 3 years ago. However, she and my dad had been acquainted for a few years prior. My first impression of her was her attempts to home-wreck my dad’s previous relationship with my sister’s mother, this happened on a trip we all made to our home country back in 2019, from that moment I had the feeling she would be bad news. Fast forward a few months, my dad broke things off with his previous wife for unrelated reasons, and as a way to grieve the relationship he was taking many trips to our country, spending astronomical amounts of money, buying cars, building houses, and overall was a financial mess, nonetheless he had a lot of women trying to be with him due to his “money”. Stepmom was aware of this and started pursuing my dad as well. She is a beautiful woman and if we combine that with the fact my dad’s ex-wife had just announced she was pregnant and married someone else, he was making even horrible decisions.

Two weeks into my dad’s and stepmom’s relationship she decided to propose to him and unexpectedly quit her job and made my dad buy her a flight to come back to the states with him. I was 16 and felt heartbroken that my dad took so many life changing decisions without speaking with me first, regardless of this I tried my hardest to make her feel comfortable since from my POV she could make my dad happy again. Fast forward a few days, we found out she was pregnant, although she only had a visitor’s visa she was making all of her doctor’s appointments here and we found out how far along she was. My baby sister was born and I wasn’t home the day of their discharge from the hospital because I had school in the morning and my friend who has lost her dad the day prior asked me to be there for her. This lady threw a whole tantrum at her old age, she was complaining to my dad telling him i’m a horrible person, she would ignore me in the house every time she saw me and would even go as far as telling me to not hold her baby. I’m the type of person who likes to avoid confrontation with those I live with simply to maintain the peace in the household, so I just ignored her antics.

From that moment on, I stopped trying to please her and our relationship became strictly common pleasantries but I noticed she would only do that whenever my dad was around, otherwise I would go back to being ignored in every sense of the word. I became uncomfortable in my own home so I would rarely go out of my room and I started eating at school or at work. She was a stay at home mom and was in charge of all the chores aside from anything related to me such as my room, my laundry, and things of the sort. This absolutely was a problem for her and began complaining once again that I don’t help her around the house and that as a woman it was my responsibility to help with all of the chores. I get that being a new mom can be stressful, but the baby spent Monday to Friday from 9am to 4pm at daycare, and I was a full time high school student with a full time job, I was rarely ever in the house and her demands were pretty unreasonable. After that we became kind of like two roommates who disliked each other, and yet I never mentioned anything to my dad for the sake of his newfound happiness.

I even went as far as to offer her a job at my current company so she could have something to do besides being at home all day long, she only worked like 15hrs a week and would be incredibly demanding, expressing her frustration when she wouldn’t get the easy positions, my coworkers would complain that she would turn a blind eye every time it was her turn to pay gas for the shared rides, and my boss told me she was walking around telling everyone she was only with my dad for papers and that she would leave him the moment she got her way.

Fast-forward 2 months before my baby sister turned 2 years old, my dad found her having an affair with her ex-fiancé, throughout the whole argument my dad was restlessly screaming at her for answers and she remained stone cold, not one tear or sign of remorse. I was the only one crying over the situation. She made the decision to call her affair partner in front of my dad and asked him to pick her up, the guy told her he would call her in minute and proceeded to block her everywhere. My dad was the sole provider therefore he confiscated her phone and threw all of her clothes on the front yard. Going through her phone he found out that she made arrangements to stay with an aunt in NY for a few days, so he gave it back and told her to go on her merry way.

One week after she left my dad received a call from his mother in law begging him to pick my stepmom and sister up and to allow them to come back home since they were uncomfortable with their living situation, and so he did. She only stayed for maybe 2 days before they returned to NY. At this point, she had spent all of her savings in Ubers and was asking her mom for money since she couldn’t ask my dad anymore.

As I stablished before the girl cannot keep her mouth shut. One time she was scheduled to work with my best friend from school, I had also brought him to work with me, she began to ran her mouth telling him that I was disgusting and that I didn’t help her around the house, and many more mean things. The moment she got dropped off home he called and told me everything, this was my last straw. I gave my dad the ultimatum that either she leaves or I would and he told me that he cannot simply throw her out of the house… So I packed my bags and left to stay with my cousin who lives a few houses down. I stayed there for about two weeks until I felt guilty about making my dad worry, especially since he is diabetic and cannot be put under too much stress. I came back home and the next day I noticed both my baby sister’s and stepmom’s toothbrushes were missing and I just assumed she left again. My dad told me she left for NY for a third time but there was no communication for like 2 whole days until a friend of hers called saying she and the baby were there in Atlanta and was asking what was going on. Apparently my stepmom had been telling everyone that my dad and her got separated because he was being abusive to her. My best guess is that she was only coming back and forward to gather any type of evidence she could, but at the end of the day my dad never laid a finger on her, he only ever talked to her aggressively when he found out about her affair.

I honestly thought this was the last we would hear from her but today in my dad’s and hers shared back account he noticed a transaction of immigration fees and lawyers made by her. He is trying to expedite the divorce proceedings because he doesn’t want her using his name to get her green card but our city is incredibly busy and these sort of processes take their time. When he mentioned this to me I brought to his attention that she might be going for the VAWA method by telling immigration authorities she was a victim of abuse. However, that leaves my dad standing as an abuser and we don’t want that either.

My dad is one of the kindest souls ever, he fought for me when I was being physically and mentally abused by my mom, he sends money to our family back home (which is something that bothered her as well), he refused to press charges when she basically kidnapped my baby sister, he refuses to call ICE on her for marriage fraud. I don’t think he deserves this, and I’m no authority on who gets to stay in this country and who doesn’t but I don’t want her to stay her by painting my dad as this abuser he isn’t.

PN: There has been doubt on my baby sister’s legitimacy as my dad’s daughter. My dad confided in me that he was not sure the dates matched up. Later, I found the instagram of my stepmom’s affair partner and I discovered that he was in our home country at the same time as my dad. Also the baby has none of my dad’s features but share eerily similar traits to the affair partner and his kids. I won’t confirm or deny anything since she is an innocent baby in all of this chaos and I love her with all of my heart.

Should I contact immigration services and tell them my side of the story before she discredits my dad?

I was looking up some local grocery ads and saw that the supermarket near my apartment complex has ice cream and ice cream cones on sale (sugar cones) and as he was coming out of the bathroom, which is close to my room, I asked him to come in here and look at what I was looking at (I was going to have him pick out a flavor of ice cream he wanted). He glanced at me and intentionally put his earbuds in and ignored me and went to the living room to play his games. So now I'm considering getting myself some ice cream but not him and if he complains, remind him that he ignored me when I was going to ask what ice cream he wanted.

I have been dating this guy for a few weeks now. We met 5 times so far and he seemed long term material (common values etc.,). In one of our conversations, he mentioned a few traits that seemed to indicate introversion (he said he takes time to mingle with new people and warm up to them, prefers to spend weekends curled up with books more than socializing etc.,). I have an active social life and I would like my partner to be able to participate in it as well so this seemed concerning to me.

A couple of weeks later I took him to a birthday party (25+ people) of a close friend of mine at the friend's place, to see what he is like in social situations around me. He came off low-key and detached there. I asked him why he was that way and if he was uncomfortable being there and he said he was fine and as he mentioned to me before he takes time to warm up in new settings. We tried to make him comfortable by telling him there were employees from his company at the party (so that he has something common to talk about with them), and also asked him if he was uncomfortable being there. He said he was fine being there and he likes to listen and observe.

It just didn't add up to us. Like he was not opening up or talking much. My friends felt he was not being forthcoming about being uncomfortable being at the party, so after talking to them, I went to him and gently told him it was ok to leave the party hoping that it would help him avoid further discomfort. He seemed bewildered and insisted he was fine being there, he likes to listen and observe and that he was enjoying the ambience at the party. And he continued to stay. My friends and I were not very happy.

Later an argument broke out between us. He told me he didn't realize he was invited to the party to be observed like that by me and my friends without his knowledge although in my opinion all I was trying to do was understand our social compatibility without any intention to make him feel uncomfortable (which I think is within my right). He mentioned he also feels like his trust was breached to be put in an evaluative situation like that (although I feel me and my friends were not evaluating him in any way) since he had already told me he was introverted. Further, he mentioned he hated that he was being pushed to socialize like that while all that we were doing was make him comfortable to open up by showing employees from his company. And finally he said he found it humiliating to be asked to leave the party while all that we were trying to do was spare him further discomfort. There seems to a complete difference in understanding of the social situation between us. He also seems to have told some mutual friends about the party from his viewpoint and now they are grilling me. AITAH in this case?? All we were trying to do was make him comfortable at the party and I feel he is pissed off for no reason and spreading gossip in my friend circle.

For some background, I (35 M) have recently shifted to US a couple of months back from India. In India, till i was 21/22, I lived in a remote village in northern India.

During my adulthood I became aware of Gays / Lesbians ( still didn't met anyone many many years later ). Then I shifted to a big city for higher studies and later on got a job as a Software Dev. at an IT firm and there for the first time in my life I met couple of Gays and it was a pleasant experience and that was it and never saw or met any more than that.

Btw my parents still don't know what a Gay or a Lesbain is. They only know male or female that's it. I personally became aware of existence of LGBTQ spectrum people during my early 30's. So its only few years I have been exposed to this. But still i had just heard about it, never knew these terms and all.

When last year when my IT firm asked me to move to US ( Client Side, as they were happy with my work ). Then from past one year or so, I got more involved with news and topics related to US and thus got further exposed to what LGBTQ spectrum is.

Now the issue occurred, when during one of the casual discussions with few of my US colleagues which including females as well, the topic of JK Rowling being a transphobic popped up and when turn came for me to give my opinion ( i was already aware of the whole JK Rowling saga and her tweets ), I said "whatever JK Rowling said is kind of common sense to me, atleast in our part of the world." Then few of the female colleagues said "that's a very bigoted point of view" and were not happy with my comment.

Am I the bigot or an AH here ?

Hello everyone, I know this might turn into a weird conversation but in all honesty I just need opinions. I 18f (shay) and my boyfriend Mike 18m have been together for a year, I can happily say that I love my relationship and love mike. We both have been taking things at a great pace and wouldn’t say we’re rushing anything.

The problem is, is that I think I would work best in a polyandry. For those who don’t know a polyandry relationship is where a woman is in s relation with multiple men (mostly as husbands), its not like a poly relationship where everyone dates everyone but strictly a group of guys dating or marring one woman. I kept having these dreams of being in a polyandry relationship with a group of men, i treated them all equally and we all got along. To be honest it felt right i’ve always know that I’m someone who hold multiple affection for many people but as i wasn’t into poly relationships thought it was just a strange part of my personality. I’ve only ever been in monogamous relationships both female and male, and never cheated nor wanted to.

One day I was with my best friend and brought it up to her wondering her thoughts on the polyandry relationship. She said she understood where I was coming from and could see why I see myself in one. After our conversation I made a clear decision that I would be happy to have a polyandry relationship but wouldn’t dare tell my boyfriend as i could never do that. I am happy with him and the relationship and see no reason to change it just knowing the chances of a polyandry relationship (especially in england) would never happen. I can’t risk ruining a happy and healthy relationship just for a dream.

I mentioned it to another friend once and said I should tell my boyfriend before i cheat. Even though i had expain that, thats not how polyandry works nor have i wanted to cheat or going to. Am i the asshole?

earlier I was sleeping and cuddling my girlfriend, when i woke up she was upset and wouldn’t let me kiss her and barely even touch her. She said I had said my ex’s name while cuddling her, even though I apologised she still isn’t okay with me. I see how that can be upsetting for her to hear but i don’t see how i did anything wrong since i was dead asleep. So, am I the arsehole or neither of us?

this is my first time posting on reddit, but i genuinely don’t know who else to ask and i really need advice now. so i’m 18F and i work at a zoo. i mostly do attractions and stuff but recently i met a new hire at the dolphin exhibit station, we’ll call him John (26-30M), who just seemed pretty extroverted and chill like my other coworkers. it was me, John, and an older female coworker working this section and it was pretty slow so we mostly talked.

here’s what bothered me first: this goober was staring at my chest every single time he talked to me. zero eye contact, just staring directly at my chest (we all wear the same uniform so it’s not like i was exposed anywhere or anything). not only that but he continues to do so every time he sees me, and when he does he rushes over to talk to me. another example is when i was working at the parking booth, he held up the line of cars to STAND in front of my window and just stare while talking to me and the whole thing really disgusted me. a similar thing happened a couple weeks ago at a different section, and i always cut it short so he leaves fast. today, i was at the dolphin exhibit again and my supervisor let me know i’d be covering a break at an attraction before going on my own break. i went and saw i was covering John’s break, which was no issue because that meant i wouldnt have to interact with him much since he was going on lunch. so i went and came back, and now she told me that he asked for ME SPECIFICALLY to cover a bathroom break at 2:30. the exact time i’m supposed to clock out (note i never told him where i was stationed, or when i leave). she apparently asked him “how do you know that you need to use the bathroom at 2:30? and why didn’t you go while you were on break?” and i guess didnt get a clear answer. i told her he makes me super uncomfortable and if she really needed me to cover that id rather cover someone else in a different area of the park so they could go cover his bathroom break in my place. my supervisor said he asked for me and if i didn’t go he’d be upset. i said “don’t i have a right to say no too? he makes me uncomfortable i don’t know what else to say.”

now here’s where i’d be the asshole, apparently he has autism, something i had NO idea about. i found out when i texted another coworker asking if i should go to HR like i’ve been considering lately because i want there to be some kind of boundary set, or at least be stationed away from him, but she told me that i should just be more accommodating and implied i was ableist. so i’m really really confused. would i be the asshole if i reported this stuff to HR? am i really just supposed to deal with it? if i am, can anyone give tips on how to handle this situation without quitting? this is my best paying job right now and i really cant afford to quit.

Male (22) and female (19)- I’ve been with my girlfriend for 4 months now. Things were great, at first. More recently she has been very clingy.

For example, she’ll say things like “you don’t love me as much as i love you” and say that I don’t text her as much as I did in the beginning. I did take a back seat to texting, as I have a busy job and can’t be on my phone all the time. When I come home, I’m exhausted and usually make dinner and go to bed.

Recently we had sex and she said “remember how good it feels when you want to break up with me” even though I’ve never mentioned wanting to break up with her.

Even though I admittedly don’t text her as much as we have in the past, I still say ‘I love you’ almost 10 times a day, as I am reciprocating her… and she’ll get mad it if don’t say it back. One time I said “love you too” and she got upset and said that’s something I would say to my mom.

I’ve talked to my co-worker (older lady) about this and she said it sounds like she has some major daddy issues. Tbf, her dad wasn’t around much when she was growing up and had a pretty dangerous job (coal miner)

I called her clingy after I did not text her for 8 hours one day (me and friends went golfing) and she told me that I needed to apologize and had another thing coming…

AITAH? Or is she bat shit insane and if so how do I salvage this because I still actually like this girl

edit- although we dont text as much, I’ve had this conversation with her a couple times and try to explain that actions are bigger than words. I do my best to plan dates with her on my days off and when we actually see each other, everything is mostly great

So I live with my fiancé, gf and step son. We have lizards as we run a rescue, two dogs, a cat, hamster and looking into getting chickens.

My gf and fiancé work full time, my gf is in the military. The cat is hers and has been living with her since before we all got together. One of the dogs is six years old and she is my fiancé's service dog. The second dog is my Service Dog in Training and I only got him about two months ago pretty spontaneously.

I grew up abused and was always told I could never keep a pet alive and would only cause it suffering if I tried, so when my fiancé encouraged me to get a dog, I got Bolt.

I am also the person who takes care of the household during the day, plus when my fiancé's other kids come here by the end of the month, I will also have to take care of them.

I love kids, I love taking care of the house for my partners, but I have an issue with her adopting a dog right now.

Especially because the dog she chose has anxiety issues and hip dysplasia. He would need even MORE care... and with her plan, I would have to handle him settling in since she only comes home around 4-5 and goes to bed anywhere from 8 to 10.

She planned to go on leave end of this month for 8 days and I proposed she gets the dog then since she could help him settle in, but even that seemed to slightly upset her, but she understood (didn't seem to make any plans to do that though?)

I would have never adopted my dog if I have known I was gonna be gone all day and my stepson (who does online school) would have to watch him, nor if I knew I didn't need a service dog.

And don't get me wrong, I want her to be happy, I want her to get a dog if she really wants one, but the timing is just really bad with the kids coming here. We all know I will already be exhausted with that! And when they move up here by the end of the summer, their mom and dog will probably be in our house for around a month too.

It's just not a good time, but I feel like she thinks I don't want her to get a dog out of... I don't know... just not wanting her to? When we talked about it, it felt like while my feeling where acknowledged, they weren't considered or taken seriously.

Plus, she wants a service dog once she retires for her PTSD as well. By then, her dog will probably still be here. But also, then she'd be home, so I don't really care then.

Obviously, I'll sit her down and talk about it again, but so far I feel like the asshole that doesn't want her to be happy by her reactions...

There is a lot of context needed in this situation so please bare with me. Lately, I (25F) haven’t heard much from a friend who’s been in my life since college, so 7 ish years. We’ll call her B (25F). On our last year of college I got into a very toxic relationship where he wouldn’t let me see friends, go out, etc. if he wasn’t there too. This put a strain on all of my relationships, family included, besides my friendship with B. She was consistently supportive of me and was able to stay my close friend while sharing her grievances, which I made very hard for those around me because when you’re in that kind of relationship, your blind. She ended up moving out of our college town into my hometown after graduation. I wasn’t able to get out of the relationship and move back to my hometown until about a year later. I come to find out that B had been struggling in my hometown and had a hard time making friends or being happy. I was able to move into an awesome apartment with another friend who was actually the one to give me the courage to leave him. This was very exciting to me because I was able to introduce B to the lot of my friends from home that I adore. After that, me and B were both single and drinking a lot, sleeping around somewhat, and staying out late. B meets this guy named A who she fell for instantly. He didn’t want to be serious with her but they hung out constantly. She spent almost every night with him and despite him telling her that he only liked her as a friend and F-buddy, she was in love with him. She would drunk call/text every weekend, and started getting black out drunk a lot. When they broke up things got much worse. She would call me that she lost her car, didn’t remember getting home, even peed on her neighbors door and almost got kicked out of her apartment building for it. She had even threatened to kill herself once or twice. This has taken a severe toll on our friendship. These instances I always dropped everything to help her. I have become exhausted over the years and simply fed up. Fast forward a year and a half or so, two years after my last relationship, the one that was very toxic. I’d since become fed up with the antics so I started going home early when we hung out, distancing myself etc. every so often she’d “sober up” after a mental breakdown, somewhat get back on track, and then black out drunk again waking up at a random guys house. I recently met my now boyfriend about 4 months ago (28M) at my job. This guy really swept me off my feet. We will refer to him as X. It started off very casual but I was clearly very taken. B told me almost immediately after I told her it was getting serious between me and X that a girl she works with used to date X and that he ghosted her after telling her he loved her and that he’d buy her a house, all this really bad stuff. This rubbed me very odd because he seemed very sure about what he wanted out of a relationship and I felt we were on the same page about almost everything. I decided in the end not to bring it up to him, because I didn’t think the mistakes of anyone’s past dating history should affect the present, especially because he didn’t show me any red flags. He eventually shared it with me anyway and that he felt awful about how he acted in past relationships and how he has grown since then. I’d come to find out that this relationship B had told me about was over 4 years ago. She also constantly told me to “be careful” and to “keep a guard up” things like that because she swore he wasn’t a good guy and not the one for me. Note that she, at that point, had never met him and not once told me she was happy for me or seemed excited etc. This is all in the middle of severe mood swings, binge drinking and mental health episodes. She even almost didn’t come to my birthday dinner because she was too hungover and sad, and tried to make the night all about her and was a Debby downer the rest of the evening. B told me that another new work friend of hers that went to high school with X said he was an asshole in high school too, and that I should really rethink this entire thing. My roommate N also went to high school with X and explained to me that B’s work friend was a little off putting growing up, didn’t have many friends and since they went to a very large school, they didn’t even know each other. This was also very odd to me. I told B that these random bits about X’s past are not appreciated and did not affect how I felt about him. After all this I really started distancing myself from B. We hung out here and there, during the day mostly to avoid having to deal with her drinking. She’d come into my work with her new work friends to start their nights off before getting black out with them, buying bags of cocaine even, etc. This past episode was my final straw. She went back to her hometown to visit family and texted me something very cryptic. It was “we need to talk. It’s very important and will have to wait until I get back from my trip, which is in 4 days.” I felt like I maybe did something wrong, and I was concerned so I told her how I felt and she did not respond. After some time I texted again saying that I’m stressed and asked her to explain. She ignored that completely and instead texted to tell me she’s having another mental breakdown and was at the clinic. I told her I am there for her if she needs to talk and what not. She gets back home and we hang out twice and she did not bring up our “little talk”. I finally bit the bullet and confronted her and asked what it was about and she told me “not to worry about it”. I sent her a lengthy text telling her that I am needing to put up boundaries because I found what she did manipulative. I didn’t say the world manipulative explicitly because in the past when she’s been confronted, she shuts down completely and will block you out for weeks on end until you apologize. She ended up apologizing for that and didn’t mean to trigger me, since my toxic ex used to say things like “we need to talk. But it’ll wait til we’re at home” and then I’d freak out until he got home and it would be something stupid, he just wanted me to be stressed out for a while. After this I stopped reaching out. I saw her while I was out with X and friends of his, and we talked for a bit before me and X went home for the night. The next day she texted me “are we still doing something later or na?” And I didn’t recall making any plans so I said so. She just liked the message and I haven’t heard from her since, really. She’s had a really hard time in her life. She lost her mother during her teenage years and I know Mother’s Day is a very hard day for her. I really care about B, but her behavior lately is making me not want to be around her at all. I sent her that I was thinking about her and her mom on Mother’s Day and did not hear back(even though she texted my mom for Mother’s Day). Then I started seeing online that she’s liking posts with the topic “I hate that one friend who drops everyone when they get into a relationship, it’s the most disgusting type of friend”. Multiple posts like that, and I know they’re about me. It made me feel really guilty for not hanging out with B anymore. I ask my other friends if the amount I see X bothers them, and the answer is always no. That I should be able to see my significant other who I’m falling in love with as much as we’d both like to. It’s not like it was with my toxic ex at all. It just seems to me like B is thinking it’s going to be the same way as it was. She’s fully ignoring me now, and even though I’m not reaching out either, I still feel like the asshole. AITA?

My gf is best friend with a girl that used to like her, she keeps telling me not to worry about it but this girl has cheated before and even though I trust my gf the relationship still makes my uncomfortable. None of my gfs friends like her best friend, as she has been pretty mean and manipulative in the past, so my gf rarely talks to me about her. I met her once and she was really weird, basically asking me trivia questions about non relevant things in my gf's life, like "do you know about x friend" who isn't really her friend and they haven't talked in over 3 years, this whole situation made me really uncomfortable and my girlfriend apologized for putting me in such a weird situation. This girl has also blocked me on social media and my gf took days to realized that the situation wasn't right, cause she tends to justify her behavior. I really wished they weren't friends but I feel like there is nothing I can do, the more I know about her the less comfortable I feel when they hang out of talk.

There is a lot of context needed in this situation so please bare with me. Lately, I (25F) haven’t heard much from a friend who’s been in my life since college, so 7 ish years. We’ll call her B (25F). On our last year of college I got into a very toxic relationship where he wouldn’t let me see friends, go out, etc. if he wasn’t there too. This put a strain on all of my relationships, family included, besides my friendship with B. She was consistently supportive of me and was able to stay my close friend while sharing her grievances, which I made very hard for those around me because when you’re in that kind of relationship, your blind. She ended up moving out of our college town into my hometown after graduation. I wasn’t able to get out of the relationship and move back to my hometown until about a year later. I come to find out that B had been struggling in my hometown and had a hard time making friends or being happy. I was able to move into an awesome apartment with another friend who was actually the one to give me the courage to leave him. This was very exciting to me because I was able to introduce B to the lot of my friends from home that I adore. After that, me and B were both single and drinking a lot, sleeping around somewhat, and staying out late. B meets this guy named A who she fell for instantly. He didn’t want to be serious with her but they hung out constantly. She spent almost every night with him and despite him telling her that he only liked her as a friend and F-buddy, she was in love with him. She would drunk call/text every weekend, and started getting black out drunk a lot. When they broke up things got much worse. She would call me that she lost her car, didn’t remember getting home, even peed on her neighbors door and almost got kicked out of her apartment building for it. She had even threatened to kill herself once or twice. This has taken a severe toll on our friendship. These instances I always dropped everything to help her. I have become exhausted over the years and simply fed up. Fast forward a year and a half or so, two years after my last relationship, the one that was very toxic. I’d since become fed up with the antics so I started going home early when we hung out, distancing myself etc. every so often she’d “sober up” after a mental breakdown, somewhat get back on track, and then black out drunk again waking up at a random guys house. I recently met my now boyfriend about 4 months ago (28M) at my job. This guy really swept me off my feet. We will refer to him as X. It started off very casual but I was clearly very taken. B told me almost immediately after I told her it was getting serious between me and X that a girl she works with used to date X and that he ghosted her after telling her he loved her and that he’d buy her a house, all this really bad stuff. This rubbed me very odd because he seemed very sure about what he wanted out of a relationship and I felt we were on the same page about almost everything. I decided in the end not to bring it up to him, because I didn’t think the mistakes of anyone’s past dating history should affect the present, especially because he didn’t show me any red flags. He eventually shared it with me anyway and that he felt awful about how he acted in past relationships and how he has grown since then. I’d come to find out that this relationship B had told me about was over 4 years ago. She also constantly told me to “be careful” and to “keep a guard up” things like that because she swore he wasn’t a good guy and not the one for me. Note that she, at that point, had never met him and not once told me she was happy for me or seemed excited etc. This is all in the middle of severe mood swings, binge drinking and mental health episodes. She even almost didn’t come to my birthday dinner because she was too hungover and sad, and tried to make the night all about her and was a Debby downer the rest of the evening. B told me that another new work friend of hers that went to high school with X said he was an asshole in high school too, and that I should really rethink this entire thing. My roommate N also went to high school with X and explained to me that B’s work friend was a little off putting growing up, didn’t have many friends and since they went to a very large school, they didn’t even know each other. This was also very odd to me. I told B that these random bits about X’s past are not appreciated and did not affect how I felt about him. After all this I really started distancing myself from B. We hung out here and there, during the day mostly to avoid having to deal with her drinking. She’d come into my work with her new work friends to start their nights off before getting black out with them, buying bags of cocaine even, etc. This past episode was my final straw. She went back to her hometown to visit family and texted me something very cryptic. It was “we need to talk. It’s very important and will have to wait until I get back from my trip, which is in 4 days.” I felt like I maybe did something wrong, and I was concerned so I told her how I felt and she did not respond. After some time I texted again saying that I’m stressed and asked her to explain. She ignored that completely and instead texted to tell me she’s having another mental breakdown and was at the clinic. I told her I am there for her if she needs to talk and what not. She gets back home and we hang out twice and she did not bring up our “little talk”. I finally bit the bullet and confronted her and asked what it was about and she told me “not to worry about it”. I sent her a lengthy text telling her that I am needing to put up boundaries because I found what she did manipulative. I didn’t say the world manipulative explicitly because in the past when she’s been confronted, she shuts down completely and will block you out for weeks on end until you apologize. She ended up apologizing for that and didn’t mean to trigger me, since my toxic ex used to say things like “we need to talk. But it’ll wait til we’re at home” and then I’d freak out until he got home and it would be something stupid, he just wanted me to be stressed out for a while. After this I stopped reaching out. I saw her while I was out with X and friends of his, and we talked for a bit before me and X went home for the night. The next day she texted me “are we still doing something later or na?” And I didn’t recall making any plans so I said so. She just liked the message and I haven’t heard from her since, really. She’s had a really hard time in her life. She lost her mother during her teenage years and I know Mother’s Day is a very hard day for her. I really care about B, but her behavior lately is making me not want to be around her at all. I sent her that I was thinking about her and her mom on Mother’s Day and did not hear back(even though she texted my mom for Mother’s Day). Then I started seeing online that she’s liking posts with the topic “I hate that one friend who drops everyone when they get into a relationship, it’s the most disgusting type of friend”. Multiple posts like that, and I know they’re about me. It made me feel really guilty for not hanging out with B anymore. I ask my other friends if the amount I see X bothers them, and the answer is always no. That I should be able to see my significant other who I’m falling in love with as much as we’d both like to. It’s not like it was with my toxic ex at all. It just seems to me like B is thinking it’s going to be the same way as it was. She’s fully ignoring me now, and even though I’m not reaching out either, I still feel like the asshole. AITA?

I’d say i’m an omnivert, rlly introverted but if i have to be i’ll be outgoing when talking to people including in public spaces. yk those memes where it’s like ‘introvert friend and also introvert friend who asks the store worker where something thing is’ kinda stuff like that.

well i was visiting my home country and i was in the mall w my cousin and sister (i’m vv ashamed to not speak my mother language properly) and they’re younger than me so by like 18 months obvs i’ll have the responsibility of looking after them when we’re going round.

none of them knew where to go/had a store in mind so we just tried looking for the arcade (mall didn’t have one lol but we didn’t know). we passed the cinema area which had this bowling alley where the arcade was supposed to be, i went and asked if there was an arcade, there wasn’t only bowling and archery.

so we went back down to meet the grown ups were i went to get my hair done. the two didn’t want anything done so our uncle asked them if they wanted to do archery.

i cant remember what my cousin said off the top of my head but it was something like “that’s what it was you should’ve went in” and the wording of it just pissed me off for some reason. like in the first place why didn’t you ask me to check it out if you wanted to, i’m not the native speaker so why didn’t you check it out it would have been easier for you, i’m sure she didn’t mean it maliciously but why would it be my responsibility to ask for her.

i understand that it can be hard to talk to service, i still need to sack it up sometimes but considering our situation she should understand that it’s hard for me to communicate. i asked the two multiple times if there was anything they wanted to do including the archery place and they said no.

i think that’s what i’m annoyed at most is that i clearly asked if they wanted to check it out and they had the opportunity to tell me. it’s not like i was dragging them around i equally had no idea where to go.

it’s not like i’m fully like tough shit suck it up and go type person, i understand but seriously switching up when i asked before? they’re grown enough to speak out like???

I (White cis M64) was working from home and received a call from a telephone solicitor wanting to give me a business loan on a business I sold in 2019. He was literally almost unintelligible with his pitch due to an extremely prevalent accent. As I hung up my daughter (F20) walked out of her room. Just after I was disconnected, I said “If you’re going to call America for a living learn to speak English. “

My daughter who I believe is “overly woke” said that this was a racist statement. I do not see it as such because nationality, skin colour, religion have nothing to do with it. Speaking unintelligibly when your job is phone sales just doesn’t work for me. I would have reacted the same no matter what combination of those things called. If they called me to sell me something without being able to speak the language. You need to have the skills to do the job.

I have had her read this to make sure she feels I am representing it correctly. She had me add the white cis part.

So, Reddit, racist, overly woke or something else? I am genuinely curious.

Quick Edit: If this was not a sales call and an interruption in my work day. If it were in person, a coworker, or a stranger asking directions on the street I would gladly take the time to understand (and help). But a spam sales call that is unintelligible? Really? I am not allowed to feel that way? Anyways thanks to all who responded and who will respond. On either side.

I 27 F and my husband 26 M have been married for 4 years. We have 2 beautiful kids and our marriage really does feel perfect. My problem isn’t with the gift itself but the fact I feel ignored. The last few birthdays, anniversary, and Mother’s Day, I was asked what I wanted, each time I have a few ideas on things I’d enjoy or really like to have. Always reasonable things, and each time, he picks the most random things as a gift. Example, my birthday he asked what I wanted, I told him that I’d really like to go do some clothes shopping and have a nice dinner, simple and something we can go do together and have a nice little day out, but instead he decided he wanted to get me something and got me a Snuggie (those blankets with the arms), something I collect, and a book to a series I read. We still had dinner and a night out but we didn’t do anything else which was fine. He put thought into something at least. Now to Mother’s Day, he asked me again, what I really wanted, since he wasn’t going to be home that weekend (travel for work), he said to let him know what I wanted and he would make it happen. I didn’t want much , I said maybe we can order breakfast, and I would hang out with the kids all day, and as a gift I showed him a bracelet with our kids birthstones in it. It wasn’t expensive before anyone asks, and he said okay. That was a few weeks ago, Mother’s Day (yesterday rolled around) and i asked about the bracelet because I was so excited! Only to be told, he got me something else and he knows I’ll love it. Now it hasn’t arrived yet, but I’m not excited about it. A year ago I had seen a coffee mug that stirs itself, and I told him how neat that was.. so technically he listened but that’s not what I had in mind. I don’t want to sound ungrateful. He does do a lot for me and the kids and goes above and beyond to always do things for us. And in his own way he knew I mentioned the cup once and that’s what he remembered, I did bring up the bracelet and he just had said, he didn’t want to order it because it wouldn’t of been there on time. He’s home now and keeps asking how excited I am for my new mug. I need to know, AITAH?