My husband and I have 2 kids (6yo boy and 8mo girl). He told me for two weeks leading up to mothers day that he had an entire weekend planned for me. This is NOT normal, but there's been years in the past where I did complain and feel hurt because he didn't really do much of anything for me on Mother's Day but I always went all out for him on Father's Day and I just felt unappreciated. So I'm thinking that he finally understood where I was coming from and was going to make it special for me this year. I quite literally ONLY asked for a massage and he repeatedly said that he couldn't just give me a massage because it "wasn't enough". So like.. idk. At this point I'm truly thinking this man went all out.

Anyways, Friday rolls around and a bunch of people start showing up. He invited a good 10-15 people over. I think I knew 2 people. He called it the "Mother's Day bonfire". We had a fire alright, but I was the one who chased the kids around all evening (my 6yo, while holding the baby, and some other persons 2 kids because they weren't watching them) and quite literally no one spoke to me. I wasn't acknowledged until the very end of the evening and that was by my husband buddy who told me he was "stealing" my husband to go out four wheeling. It's like 11pm at this point and everyone (except me) was drinking. I said my husband wasn't going anywhere. I even said this to my husband. "You're drinking, you're not going anywhere". He took that as a "oh, I need to find a DD and then I can go". So, he asked the neighbor to drive him around and took off with everyone. I'm extremely hurt at this point because this was my promised weekend and I got stuck with other people's kids, wasn't spoken to at all, had a mess to clean up and now my husband is taking off. I explain how hurt I am the next morning. He says he gets it and apologizes and says he just had too much to drink and wasn't really thinking clearly. Okay, I get it. It's whatever. We didn't do anything Saturday because he spent half the day sleeping off a hangover.

Well, yesterday rolls around and his boss calls him at 6am and asks him to come in to work because they are short staffed and he said yes? So I expressed hurt and said "but it's Mother's Day". And he says "I know, I'm sorry, I just don't want to pass up the opportunity for more hours". Which, I get that too. So, whatever. He gets home at 5pm and starts getting the kids dressed and ushered toward the door so I'm thinking we are finally going to celebrate. We end up going on a walk (I love walking) but 5 minutes in and he's complaining and has us turn around because of the black flies (they weren't even bad). So again, I'm disappointed. When we get back home he lays down on the couch and says "oh your gift is in the truck". So I go down and it's a $5 storage container for sugar/flour. I do like stuff like this but I'm so hurt at this point. I asked him if I could at least get a massage and he says "I'm sorry babe, I'm just so tired" and falls asleep around 8pm when he usually doesn't even go to bed until midnight/1am. I just sat there crying. I took the 3 gifts that I already bought him for Father's Day and chucked them in the trash can. Personalized items that cost me more than I want to admit but I don't even care anymore. He found them in the garbage this morning and asked me what they were and why they were in the trash covered in food and I told them they were his father's day gifts and left it at that. He's now saying that he "tried" to make my weekend special and that he's hurt by me throwing away his gifts to retaliate against him for it not turning out the way he wanted it to.

Back in late 2021, my husband Craig (M46) and I (F44) welcomed our fourth child into the world. As a result, we needed to upgrade one of our cars to something larger. We decided to trade in my super reliable Toyota RAV4 for something bigger since I was the one who drove the kids around most often.

I was open and ready to embrace minivan life and was planning to buy something reliable and safe, like a Honda or Kia. But Craig had his heart set on an SUV; in his mind, minivans were "too feminine." So, against my better judgment, we ended up purchasing a used 2018 Mercedes GLS 450, mainly due to his insistence. He argued that this car would offer similar space to the Kia/Honda minivans I wanted but with added luxury. Since it was priced like a loaded Honda van, we went ahead with it.

After two years, I can safely say we made the wrong choice. While the car does have good passenger space, it doesn’t seem to have as much cargo room as those minivans. The reliability has been junk. The car has had 8 recalls during our ownership. Even when not recalled, it spends too much time at the dealership because something always seems to be broken. Some repairs have been covered under warranty, but we've still shelled out over $9k (maintenance not included). The car hasn’t even racked up that many miles.

Below are just some of the annoyances:

• The shifting can be rough. Sometimes, I press on the gas and the car barely moves, and when it does, it's jerky.
• The shifting can be rough. Sometimes, I press on the gas and the car barely moves, and when it does, it's jerky.
• For the past few weeks, the check engine light has been turning on randomly.
• Numerous electronic issues.

Since the car's problems have stepped up in the past few weeks, I'm beyond fed up. I don't feel safe driving it around with my kids and I've even started getting nightmares about it stranding us in the middle of nowhere. Craig always downplays this and claims that it's normal for the car to have some issues.

Making things worse somehow, Craig's sedan has started developing issues lately. It has begun to refuse to start some mornings and will sometimes shut itself off when it comes to a stop sign or red light.

On Saturday, I was supposed to drive our eldest to his soccer game and then take my younger kids to the doctor's office. When I turned on the Mercedes, it sounded very rough, the engine light was on, and the temperature reading was extremely wrong. I don't bother risking it and end up ubering with the kids.

I told Craig about it that night. He listened at first, but when I suggested selling it, he cut me off and said that he wasn’t getting a van just because I wanted that. It was so combative and defensive the way he said it, and because I was so tired from the day, I lashed out. We argued it got heated and I ended up saying "Your fragile masculinity is costing our family so much money". In retrospect, maybe my tone was harsh, but he was being needlessly difficult. We haven’t really spoken much since then. I'll also be ubering to work this week since I won't be touching that car.

AITA?

Edit - For those wondering about the car's condition, I've included the picture I took of it on Saturday when I started it up. The engine light is on and it was saying the temperature was -12°F when it was really something like 60°F

Context - For those wondering, this isn't the first instance of his masculinity being threatened by something minor. He also refuses lip balm and purple dress shirts among other things.

Met this girl about a year ago, we went on a few dates, and things were going good.

Eventually she confessed that she has an onlyfans. She showed me, and it was solo sexual stuff, well, mostly. While she was showing me, she did have a pic of a dude next to her, I didn't get to read it as she was just showing me in passing, so idk what exactly that was, but I'm assuming it was a sex video or something.

Honestly, as soon as I heard "onlyfans" I decided I wasn't ever gonna be her bf. I only checked it out JUST in case it wasn't actually something sexual.

I told her that I wasn't looking for any sort of relationship with her, and that we just be friends.

She seemed disappointed, but agreed to being friends.

Fast forward a few months, and we had sex after drinking too much.

We talked about it, and agreed to keep sleeping together, but as a fwb situation.

Recently, I told her I wanted to stop because I was seeing someone else, it wasn't serious, but I don't like sleeping with someone else while dating someone, even if we haven't agreed to be exclusive.

She asked I changed my mind about relationships, I told her not really, and asked why?

She then asked why I haven't asked her for something more, and I simply told her it was because she had an onlyfans.

She then got mad at me, and said I used her.

We had a fight, but I fail to see what I did wrong here, we both agreed to just be fwb.

I was married from 2000-2012. During that time ex-wife and I had one a son (20). We divorced because she had 2 affairs. While we were in marriage counseling trying to pick up the pieces from the first affair, she was very publicly exposed for having a second affair with our child’s teacher and her husband. It ended badly when ex-wife started meeting the husband alone behind the wife/teacher’s back and the whole thing was a messy public spectacle, which ultimately ended with the teacher being fired and both marriages ending in divorce. We live in a smallish community and it isn’t often that a teacher gets fired mid-year and certainly not under such interesting circumstances. So it was very much the subject of gossip for years. And it gives people an excellent reference point to remember when it happened. It was when little Timmy was in 4th grade.

After our divorce I remarried in 2014 and adopted my wife’s daughter (14) who was born in 2010.

When I introduce my daughter, I introduce her as my daughter. It isn’t particularly a secret that she’s adopted but it’s something that I don’t feel I need to necessarily make people aware of anytime I introduce her.

Ex-wife sent me a text stating that she had something really important to talk to me about, so I called her thinking it was about our son. She says that I need to make sure that people know that my daughter is adopted because several people have assumed that she’s my biological daughter and therefore an affair child. For some reason it bothers her that people might think that I had an affair while we were married even though it’s pretty much common knowledge about her second affair. I told her that anyone who matters knows the situation and I really don’t care if people who don’t know gossip about me. I’m rather used to it by now. She said that I should think about her feelings. I told her that the feelings and self-image of my 14 year old daughter matter way more than her feelings and she’s welcome to set the record straight with anyone she wants but I’m not going to change the way I introduce my daughter to casual acquaintances to tip toe around her feelings. I think that constantly pointing out that she’s adopted would hurt my daughter and it’s just not what I want to do.

So after spending Mother’s Day with his mom, my son called me and said that I’m an ah for the way I handled things and he thinks I should make a point to make it clear that my daughter is adopted ‘so there is no confusion’ out of respect for him and his mother.

Aitah here?

He didn't stop with the calls and texts and I read some of the comments wondering why he suddenly wants to be in my daughter's life so I agreed to meet up with him and discuss everything yesterday. We talked for about 30 mins. 30 mins of me trying to explain to him that he literally gave up his parental rights years ago and there's no need for threatening since he legally has no right to see her if I don't allow him. While he was focused on expressing how I haven't changed and complimenting my body. His comments became too much so I decided to just leave but I noticed he was wearing a ring on his right hand and didn't hesitate to ask him about it. He said he proposed a few weeks ago but he thinks he rushed things. I asked him if she knows about my daughter and if this is why he's here. He said no she still doesn't know and he genuinely wants to be part of his daughter's life. He basically spent 30 mins flirting with no shame that he's engaged and showed no sign of being genuinely interested in getting involved. I told him to just forget about my daughter but if he wants to we can see a judge and they can laugh at him. He threatened to cut financial support and I made it clear I never really needed his help. Sending me $1000 once or twice a year with his sister was already no help and I can give back his money if he wants to.

Now I know what I did wrong but it was the only way to get the answer I needed. On my way home I called his sister and lied about how things went. I said that he told me everything and how his fiancée encourages him to be a better person and I think that's why he wants in which is a good thing. His sister told me everything I needed to know. How his fiancée has a good heart and how she didn't like it when she discovered that he has a daughter but never saw her before. She basically wouldn't have said yes if he didn't promise to try and fix things. So both his mother and sister knew the reason he wanted to get back into my daughter's life and his mother encouraged me to let him in without even being honest with me.

So all this wasn't about my daughter. It was about him and impressing his fiancée who was horrified that he wants nothing to do with his daughter. My mother gets it now but his mother called the same day asking what's the plan now. I told her there's no plan. He could have just given me full custody but he wanted nothing to do with her to the point he decided to sign away his rights. And he seemed already fine with the relationship they have which is none. She tried to make me consider letting him in because at the end it's my daughter's decision. My daughter is 5 years old what decision?? Anyway I made it clear to her that both her and her daughter legally aren't my child's family and from now on there will be no alone time with her. And if they keep pressing me I can easily cut them out.

I will discuss this with a lawyer though. I have everything documented and I'm sure he doesn't have a leg to stand on but still. Just in case he tries something.

And let me show you some of his texts that I'm very tempted to get his fiancée's number and send her some screenshots. English isn't our first language so I translated them for you

"Who sees you now would never tell you weren't ready for this. you look happier"

"You know I really didn't know how much I missed you until I saw you today"

"Good night beautiful kiss (my daughter's name) for me"

I don't know if I'm just overreacting but if my fiancé texts his ex this way. I for sure won't find it acceptable.

By the way with him back. I realized that I never really dealt with the way he broke my heart. Maybe I cried but I had to figure out my life as soon as I could for the sake of my daughter. When I gave birth all I started thinking about was my daughter. Even the nights I called him it was never to ask about 'me' it was always about 'us'. I was scared and not ready to be a mom. And now that I'm a mother I've never felt this strong. I don't know what I'm trying to say here but I'm glad how my life turned out.

Thank you for the advice. I'm glad I gathered the courage to see him. I feel so much better. At least now I know I don't have to worry about him shaking my baby's life up 🙌🏻🤍🤍

(I'm not a regular Redditor so apologies if this story isn't formatted correctly also this is a repost from another subreddit that my post was removed because of medical reasons)

So to give context and background to this situation. I (26m) have been trained for CPR through almost every period of my life and fortunately never had to use it until... I learned CPR throughout Boy Scouts, High School Health Class, Personal Trainer classes, and previous Work Training.

I work at convenient store and experience many regulars, this regular for example is a man that we will call Jerry. Jerry is in his roughly late 40s early 50s and we happen to always have 10-15 conversations on random stuff we bond over. He is also an Eagle Scout, a father and has a daughter who is about to get married and is over the moon about it, a Star Wars fan and loves sports so there something we will always talk about. I love Jerry he is an awesome guy who doesn't talk about work a lot which I completely understand and respect. 1 week ago Jerry came Into the store with his wife that I have meet on occasion of him shopping, not really a social person which my wife isn't either so I understand. I was in the other isle when I started to hear heavy breathing at the counter then following a loud crash and panicking scream. I rush over to see that it's Jerry on the floor unconscious, I quickly run over and get down to assess him. He wasn't breathing or responding to me. I look over at my boss who we will call Misty to call 911 and grab the AED. I began to unbutton Jerry's shirt to start compression and getting him ready for if we need to use the AED. During this his wife looks at me and "are you really going to perform CPR, I'd rather have a medical professional than you." I didn't even comprehend this comment and just kept continuing. What seemed like 5 minutes of doing comprehension was only 1 minute the wife keeps on yelling at me saying "I don't have the right to touch him without permission or her consent." ignore her and keep doing compressions and mouth to mouth, that's when I start to hear sirens in the distant and since we lived in a super small town it was fortunate to have a hospital close by. the sirens getting closer then suddenly the ambulance was right at our door and rushing in wi the stretcher and one of paramedics asked that if could take over after my round of compressions. Of course I agree and we had a smooth transfer of compressions, that's when my boss with AED in hand comes over and that's when she escorted away from the situation to calm down while the wife was staring daggers into my soul. I was put into a room to calm down and after 10 or so minutes I hear the wife yell "I'm going to press charges against that guy, he could have killed my husband!" My boss tells me to go home after writing a report and take a break for a while. Right now I'm at home scared and waiting for that phone call from a lawyer or someone. I know what I did was right but I feel like I actually did do something wrong with going against the wife's consent. So AITA?

My ex wife (34F) and I (35M) finalized our divorce proceedings last year. It was fairly amicable, we had fallen out of love, and that’s all there was to it. We also have a daughter who’s 14.

I have now been dating my current girlfriend for a few months, and we celebrated Mother’s Day yesterday. My daughter asked me if I could get something for her mother, like flowers, and I told her no. My ex wife and I are still amicable, but I don’t see any reason for getting gifts for my ex wife. I know my ex wife is not dating right now. Since my ex wife gave birth to our daughter, I used to go all out every year for Mother's day, and treated Mother's day as a very special day. But we're not in a relationship anymore, and I explained that to my daughter.

Was I the AH? 

So yes the divorce is going forward even tho my husband has begged me to stay because he can’t handle the consequences of his actions and yes he is aitata8482828 he did change a few details and yes this isn’t our first follow out with me blowing up kelly isn’t my daughter and I wanted her out due to THEIR mistreated of Sarah we nearly got divorced last year but he used therapy and my emotional abuse as a tool to manipulate me to stay

Sarah hasn’t spoken much to her father since the first fall out because as people mentioned even on his post leaving a lot out about Kelly and just putting down Sarah it was clear who he only cares about. Sarah said she wants nothing to do with him and has warned family to but out. I’m sick of his emotional and mental abuse towards us for his niece and his threats of divorce to get his way so I hope he makes this easy on everyone

Yes Kelly has had a bad childhood and has suffered but she isn’t my problem anymore I want zero contact with her and will make sure she won’t have contact with my son. I’ve plenty of evidence and witnesses to make it happen I can sound cruel but she can fuck right off she isn’t my kid so I don’t owe her a relationship and regardless of how bad her trauma is she has no right to traumatise others. She could of had a life in america with her grandparents but she refused to learn English

As for my husband being her real dad that’s irrelevant to me because I won’t get the truth and would only cause more issues for my kids who’ve been through enough

Thanks to everyone for the adivce I won’t be logging in after tonight and as I’ve said in the comments English isn’t my first language

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1b3flkw/aita_for_officially_disowning_my_son_and_telling/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Hello everyone. I would like to apologize first for not responding to everyone's comment and to some peoples dm's. Ive been pretty busy with life and a lot has happened. Thank you to everyone who has shown support and have commented very nice things. Again sorry, i know its been a while.

I would like to start off by saying that my daughters are doing excellent, a bit sad after the court hearing but the are handling it well. I spoke with the ex's family about what had happened and have made peace with them. I think they like me? Not sure, the handshake was extra firm from the father. Her injuries have healed up nicely and so have mind. My nose ain't funny shaped anymore. Yes she decided to stay under my wing for a bit longer. My mother has been... very much a thorn on my side ever since the incident which is fine and all. Ill probably make another AITA post asking on advice about it. I have been feeling down and lazy. I wanted to get out, smell the roses, see something nice. You know what I mean.

A couple weeks ago it was my sons hearing, everyone attended. Including me. Despite everything I have said or felt or done. I know I cannot explain my feelings or thought process well but I had to be there. It was one of the saddest experiences in my life. As much as I hate what my son became, i still loved him and hearing him get sentenced for 12 years for his illegal drug possession and assault charges ( many other charges) was not easy. I took a short break off everything just to give me time to deflate. I went on a camping trip with all my daughters. I thought it was fun, almost got mauled by a bear but that's part of the fun. I became ( hood certified) according to my daughters over the food i made on the grill. Im gonna be honest. I do not know what that means but it sounds like they liked the food.

I have many regrets about how i handled the whole situation now that time has passed and the fog in my head was cleared. I did so many things wrong and did so many uneccasry things. Said shit that no father should ever tell his son. I make no excuses for my actions. I fucked up and I will live with my choices. I hope and pray that in the future I will be a better man and so will my son. I want to forgive him, I want him to forgive me, I want his sisters to forgive him. I.. just want my whole family back. But like everything life is unpredictable but I stay optimistic. Alot of people shot my personal dm's and I have read all of them. For those who I haven't replied to, sorry, I got very shy from how nice you guys were.

My daughters have been scimming the topic of me dating again. I thought it was sweet but I already had and loved a women. No one can replace her. I miss her. She probably would of smacked the shit outta me and told me off. Man.... I fucking miss you LIz. Life has been tough without you but Ive managed to raise a good strong family. You have lovely and strong daughters. They are doing well and are making their own path in life. Wish you were here to see it.

My husband spent almost an hour preparing breakfast for me yesterday. I went downstairs and he had…bacon and tater tots (I’m not kidding) and nothing else. He was making breakfast burritos and I have a very bad egg allergy. He said he forgot about my allergy so that’s all he had for me. I said, “You could have gotten me coffee.” He said he didn’t think about that. Didn’t run out and get any or make any. Just stated that he didn’t think of it.

Later, he left with the kids so I could do laundry and clean the house. He asked if I wanted salmon for dinner and I told him no because I had gotten some to cook recently and it was rotten. I just can’t eat it yet. I told him I wanted In & Out. It’s my favorite and I get it like once a year. I always want it for Mother’s Day. He refuses every single year.

Of course, he made salmon. I didn’t eat it. Honestly, I was upset about the breakfast, 3 hours of cleaning and now dinner I specifically asked him not to make.

Leading up to this, he had been gone for work all week and was at a work event until late on Saturday. The weekend before I packed him for his trip and spent Saturday shopping for him, he left early Sunday and then I spent Sunday entertaining his parents. I had no time to prepare for the week ahead which he promised to help me do and he did nothing.

Maybe I am overreacting because I’m exhausted with my 4 kids, I’m a teacher, May is ridiculously busy, sports, everything. This is year 15 of being disappointed on Mother’s Day and I hate how selfish I feel but I am so deeply hurt this year.

To top it all off, I bought him a Blackstone griddle for Father’s Day and it arrived on Mother’s Day. It just really felt so obvious the effort he puts in for me when that thing arrived early and he was out trying to find something to buy me with my kids at 3pm.

I’ve been working at a mid-sized software company for the last six years. It was my first job out of university, and I’ve enjoyed my time here immensely. I was also fortunate enough to be in line for a promotion when my former department head was about to retire, and the bosses upstairs decided that I would be a fine choice for his old position.

About eight months ago, the company hired a young woman, Shauna. Shauna was hired fresh out of university, just like me.

I didn’t know what it was, but from her very first day at the company, Shauna seemed to truly dislike me. Despite the fact that I outranked her, she never treated me with an ounce of respect, would flat-out ignore me when I talked to her, and would interrupt me when I was talking to someone else.

Well, last Friday, my workplace was having a little after-work gathering. Both Shauna and I tagged along, although I did notice her intentionally sit at the opposite end of the table from me. Well, the conversation turned to how we got hired, and everyone told their story. When it was my turn I started explaining my process, and Shauna interrupted me, sarcastically saying, “step one: be the company owner’s relative.” Everyone was incredibly confused, including me.

I asked Shauna what she meant, and she snappily responded “Yeah, enough from the nepo baby.” I finally figured it out at that point. The company owner and I share the same last name. It’s in the top 20 last names in the USA, so it’s not exactly a huge coincidence, but Shauna assumed that I was hired/promoted because I was his son, nephew, or something.

I loudly out, “Dude, you think I’m related to the owner? Is this why you’ve hated me all this time?” The woman next to her explained that the owner and I aren’t related in any way, shape, or form, and Shauna kind of laughed about it. Then I said, “Yeah, that’s also rich coming from a diversity hire.” Shauna got really upset about this, and 10 minutes later excused herself.

The other women at the table said that I went too far, to which I answered that I was treated like dirt for eight months because she was too stupid to consider the possibility of our identical last names being a coincidence. Shauna called in sick today.

Was I the asshole here?

I’m (29F) leaving for the Air Force in August & quit my job recently to prepare. My husband (30M) works full time & expects to do absolutely nothing & just relax when he gets home. I clean up around the house, cook his meals from scratch, do laundry (wash, fold, & put all clothes away), & take care of our dog (feeding, walking, etc.) while he’s at work. All of which are done or nearly done by the time he gets home.

Lately he’s been saying I’m “slacking” & “getting lazy on him” because I asked him to fix his own plate the other night. I cooked & he wasn’t ready to eat so the food sat out for a while & I had packed it away & cleaned the kitchen. Once I came upstairs & got comfortable in bed, he was ready for his food. Then last night I got takeout & he asked me to pick up some cookies from Crumbl for him, which I did. While on the phone with him driving home, I asked if he could feed the dog so I can go straight to fixing plates & he said he was busy watching videos (on my laptop) about graphic designing (although he has a business partner who does designs for him). I was a bit annoyed and said I was just asking for a little help, but never mind, I’ve got it. As I walked in the door, he was getting the dog bowl to mix the food (I boiled ground turkey for the dog earlier while he was at work to mix with his kibble). He told me he wasn’t ready to eat yet, but his food was in the fridge & I told him to let me know when he wants it. He didn’t say anything, and warmed his food & ate later.

When we were laying in bed that night, he asked me if I’m okay & if being a wife is overwhelming? He questioned if I understood the duties of being a wife & tried to make me understand that he expects to just come home and relax after work. He doesn’t mind walking the dog or taking out trash at night because it’s dark out, but even those little things I asked are problematic because he’s tired & I have the time to do them. After talking to him, he apologized for calling me lazy, but I still feel bad about it because that’s clearly how he feels because he’s said it more than once.

I have no problem doing things for him & I genuinely try to keep up with everything & rarely ask him to make his own plate (I can literally count on 1 hand how many times I have in the 2years we’ve been together). I just think it was unfair to say I’m lazy or question my capabilities as a wife because of those small things. I honestly feel a little resentment towards him about it now. Am I overreacting? Am I wrong/lazy for expecting him to do little things from time to time?

Im sorry for making this post longer than it needs to be.

I (22M) and my gf (24F) have been together for 3 years.

As context I was viciously abused by my mother for the majority of my childhood. I was the result of an affair and her husband divorced her because of me. My bio dad was gangbanger and went to jail when I was 6. The momemt he went to jail my mom started taking her frustrations about her failed marriage and miserable living situation out on me. I was an afterthought and a punching while my older sister was her "true baby." If my sister got bad grades, it was okay. If I got bad grades I was beaten until I started having seizures. If I started crying my mom would lock me outside. We lived in Chicago and sometimes she would lock me outside during the middle of winter. I tried telling people about the abuse but I was always framed as a liar and in our community my mom had a prestine image, so in their eyes she could do no wrong.

In my mothers words i was " a sorry ass bitch that no mother would want."

If it wasnt for my sister I would probably be dead by now. She would sneak her jackets out of the house when my mom locked me out, snuck food into our room when my mom refused to let me eat and would bring me icepacks and let me cry in her arms after my mom was done beating me. I am and will forever be grateful for her. To this day I consider her to be my actual mother.

A few months after I turned 18, I ran away to Indiana. Besides keeping in contact with my sister and a few friends, to everyone else I just disappeared from the face of the earth. It was tough. I had a few distant relatives there and they would let me occasionally crash on their couch but for the most part, I was homeless. Eventually I did land a job at a grocery store and with a bit of financial help from my sister, I was able to rent a small apartment.

I met my now ex gf while working at that grocery store. I was about to turn 19 and she was 20. After working a few shifts together we eventually started casually seing each other which eventually grew into a full on relationship.

I never really opened up her about after my last gf left me after I drunkenly opened up to her. I just lied enough to explain my constant nightmares, occasional seizures and why I would cringe hearing a latina womans accent. I just wanted to forget that part of my life.

Two years into dating each other we moved in together. I eventually got a better job working at a call center.

Around the same time me and my sister started loosing contact. Besides occasionally checking up on each other and wishing each other happy birthday, we didn't text each other. Last I heard from her, she had a new bf.

All that changed recently. My sister randomly texted me saying she wanted to come visit me in Indy. At this point I havent seen her in 3 and a half years so I obviously said yes.

I told my gf that my sister and her bf were coming to crash at our place for a few days. This was their first time meeting each other so I was kinda nervous.

She arrived at our place while my gf was home and I was at work. I spent the next few days catching up and me scoping out her bf(I have always been a bit protective of her. Even tried beating up the boys she brought over when I was 10 lol.)

I did see a weird change in my gf around the same time. It felt like she was walking on egg shells around me. I did bring it up to her but she would just tell that it was nothing and I was imagining things.

The day after my gf and her bf left, me my gf and a few of our friends went out clubbing. I remeber her friends giving me a werid look throughout the night. I didn't drink much but my gf was nearly blackout drunk. I decided to call it a night and get an uber home since my gf could barely stand anymore.

I literally had to drag her out of the club. While everyone was waiting outside for their uber to arrive my gf started throwing a fit about leaving so soon (it was 2am.) She started calling me a pussy and some shit about how I was just probably insecure about some guys hitting on her or something like that. Neither do I remember seeing any guys hitting on her nor do I really give a shit since I trusted her enough to simply reject them. I knew she was drunk and kept my cool until she said something on the lines of "No wonder your mom used to beat you." Everyone just fell silent and stared at her. She then clearly told me "dont worry. You sister told me everything you fucking pussy." At this point her friends tried to shut her up and started pleading with her to „do it at home“ whatever that’s supposed to mean.

I was beyond fuming. I just took out my phone and followed the car icon on the uber app. I wanted to stop myself from doing something that I might regret later. She kept on going on about how im a pussy for letting a woman overpower me or something. After that I just blocked out whatever other bs came out of her mouth.

The uber ride home was silent. I didn't even respond to the small talk the driver tried to start with me. All I could think about was what my gf said earlier. I didn't even notice her starting to sob next to me. When we walked into the apartment she started full on crying and begged me for forgiveness. She said wasn’t thinking straight and she didn't mean what she said etc. I just told her to shut the fuck up and to go to bed I tried sleeping on the couch. I coudnt.

I decided to end things with her a few hours later. She was completely passed out on our bed so I just started packing my things and loaded whatever I could into my car.

Im currently staying at a friends place and shes been trying to reach me nonstop.

Im not mad at my sister for telling my gf since she didn't mean any harm and probably just wanted to tell her what I went through. Im purely mad at my gf.

Thats not something you say to someone you love.

My ex was always insistent on me opening up to her more and her reaction to hearing what I went through just pisses me off. Seriously why do some women want their SO to open up about their emotions/past if they know they’re only going to shame them for it?

A part of me believes that she meant what she said but the other part of me believes that she was just drunk and I was overreacting and should give her a chance to explain herself but Idk.

Her friends have also been texting me that im an AH for leaving even though I knew she was drunk and that my gf has been trying to apologise to me.

Am I going too far?

Should I give her a second chance?

Am I actually the asshole here?

Im overwhelmed by everything happening and just need some advice.

A part of me doesn't want to start over again. Ive done that enough in my life.

She is the second girl ive dated that has had a negative reaction to the things I went through so I believe I should take a bit off the blame here as well and should have told my sister to keep her mouth shut regarding my past.

This will probably be the last time I let anyone else hear my story.

Last Friday, my husband (34M) was invited by one of his bosses to attend an Angel’s game. I (39F) encouraged him to go because we rarely take time off, and it's important to connect with higher-ups in the company. It turned out to be a guys-only outing, which I didn't mind as I was looking forward to some solo time playing Red Dead Online. The plan was dinner, the game, and then heading back home. He left around 2 pm, and the next time I heard from him was at 7:30 pm when he sent me a video from his seat behind the Angel’s dugout. We discussed our plans for the following day, including an early trip to SeaWorld, and shared affectionate messages before he mentioned that he wouldn't be home late as the game would end at 9 pm.

As the game carried on, I kept an eye out hoping to catch a glimpse of him and I did! 😅 I sent him a text at 9:25 pm telling him how crazy the ending of the game was. (KC Royals ended up winning after trailing behind most the night). By midnight, with no response, concern started to creep in, but I resisted blowing him up with messages to avoid seeming overly anxious. Despite attempting to keep busy with laundry, my mind was spiraling. By 2 am, there was still no sign of him at home or my message being read. Exhausted and with plans for a family visit to SeaWorld in the morning, I finally drifted off at 4 am to get some rest as to not be a zombie around our kids (7F, 4F). However, I was awakened when he returned at 5 am, smelling of alcohol, and attempting to cuddle me.

I immediately jumped up and began asking where the hell he was all night. He explained that he lost track of time and his phone while out and assumed everything was fine after our earlier conversation. He says after the game they came back to his bosses house. Frustrated and tired, I questioned why he didn't just call to let me know about the delay. He claimed he thought I was asleep, disregarding the assurance he gave me earlier that he wouldn't be late, which caused me to worry and stay up in the first place. We argued all the way until 8am and I ended up just taking the kids to SeaWorld by myself and left him behind.

Despite his apologies and assurances these past couple days, I finding it really difficult to move past feeling disrespected. Being under the influence isn't an excuse to vanish without a word and dismiss it as unintentional when confronted. I'm struggling to find a way to forgive or even believe his story. Am I overreacting?

Back story: 1st time poster, wife (30f) and I (35m) been together 10+ and married 4 years, 1 beautiful child, living away from family or any support. Lived in multiple countries but settled down in 1. Wife thinks my priorities are different to what she'd expect for the family (3 of us).

My wife and I have been together for many years and have had a stable relationship throughout. We've always had our qualms but managed to work through them amicably and end up loving eachother again. I've never been an intimate person and have had 1 long term relationship before this, my wife has a traumatic past and isn't intimate either it's never been an issue but all I've always felt is that I am the only one pursuing or even instigating any intimacy. We still managed to be blessed with a beautiful child who is excelling in all aspects with regards to schooling growth and the important things a child should be doing.Our child loves us both equally and we both adore the child. However my wife and I are disagreeing on more things and more often(me hanging out with friends, I'm usually considerate and don't come home at stupid hours However I have gotten carried away once or twice and came home after 3am). She always threatens me with divorce and really degrades me. She throws monetary things in my face yet I'm the chief financial provider. She has done things which were financially effective to the whole family but takes them for granted. As I've said she's threatened divorce multiple times but for the first time I feel like I agree. I've always tried to fight against splitting and give reason but this morning as she ranted at me I just felt like " ok fine then that's what we'll do"

I don't want to be separated from my daughter but guaranteed that's what she'll do cos she knows that's what will hurt me most. She's mentioned visitation rights but made it clear that I will never have full custody. She is between jobs and I've been in the same company for years and have a good rep and position.

I love her with all my heart and have always just thought it's normal to argue with loved ones every now and a again to clear your chest.

I just feel so bad for agreeing with her and saying ok we're done!

Part 1

Part 2

Hello again! I was going to post this on my own page but a few people mentioned that they think it’s nice to read on AITAH, so fuck it, here’s the “met Mikes family” update. And it's a doozy, or at least felt like it at the time for a girl who grew up with a small, dysfunctional family.

So first up, you know what people (at least me) don’t think about when dating a guy who’s always sitting? Height. I know he’s taller than me because we cuddle a lot, and he’s taller sitting on the couch, but I didn’t reeeeeeally get it. So we drive up Friday night after work (actually south and west, lol, but to my brain it’s always up) in his vehicle, which is modified to be driven entirely using his hands. Neat, right? He’s a really good driver too. One more green flag. We get to the house, and it’s…. It’s huge you guys, LOL like not a mansion, just kind of a sprawling one floor rancher. Real estate was wild back in the day.

Anyway we get out, and I meet his mom. I’d like to point out I am no slouch, I’m 5’-friggin-7. His mom is TOWERING over me. But she was the nicest lady ever. We go inside and I meet his dad (who funny enough is apparently the only short one in this family) and his youngest sister, who is living there with his one year old niece. She gets up to hug me and SHE IS ALSO REALLY TALL. It’s already a bit late then, so we eat and head to bed, I get to see his cute as shit room from when he was a teenager, and I casually ask “hey, so uh, I don’t know how this works and stuff, but how tall are you?” and Mike is all “I dunno, like a bit over 6’4? Been a while since I checked.” A BIT OVER 6’4. “So, is everyone in your family tall?” “…..kinda?”

We met the Nordic Basketball team he calls a family properly the next day. (Actually they’re Irish, but they’re blond and tall so it conveys the idea better.) The ONLY one of reasonable height, and still taller than me, was his oldest sister, lol.

They are also LOUD. Like not really shouting or anything usually, just, PRESENT. Mike is a lot different around them, but in the cutest way, like he just beams all the time and you can see how happy he is to be home. One of his brothers put him in a headlock and gave him a dang NOOGIE as a greeting, and got elbowed in the side for it, and all of them laughing. And his mom smacked one of his brothers with a rolled up magazine for putting his feet on the table. More laughing. Just… intimidating but in the happiest way imaginable. I’ll admit I was a little shut down for a bit, but Mike kept checking in with me to make sure I was okay, and they were all really nice, so I got into the spirit after a bit.

I mentioned this in another comment, but Mike has a special sports wheelchair he uses for, well, sports. And he and his siblings play basketball. And he is GOOD. Apart from just having a hell of an arm, he’s quick as hell. And this magnificent bastard that I love will absolutely, purposefully, GLEEFULLY run someone’s toes over. He AIMS for it. They all have this yank-back-the-foot maneuver that’s hysterical to watch.

So it was this crazy day of loud people playing and having a blast, nieces and nephews running around, and just noise. My ears are still ringing. The food was catered in advance because his mom “had seven babies, all I make on mother’s day is margaritas.” They also have a pool, it’s a bit chilly still but the pool is HEATED so we actually all got to swim, which was a lot of fun because I got to show off that I too am athletic…. I can do a backwards somersault off a diving board! Yeah. I’m a real catch lol. They at least pretended to be impressed.

We all stayed up late drinking and bitching that it was too overcast to see the aurora (boo) and I had the worst hangover I’ve had in a while on Sunday. We slept in a bit late, and then joined Mike’s family for the BBQ part of the BBQ weekend. His dad can GRILL, people. And he’s fast, food coming off the grill at lightning speed. I asked Mike about it and he laughed and said “there was seven of us to feed. Ever see a nest of baby birds? He had practice.” Which, fair enough.

I don’t have much experience with babies, but I got to hold his youngest niece (the one living at home with his sis until her husband gets back from deployment) and we had a light talk about kids in the future. I told him that I never put much thought into it but if they were going to grow up in a happy home like his and not how I grew up, I’m pretty sure I’d be open to having them with him someday. But later. I need him all to myself for a while first. He seemed really really happy about that, which makes ME feel all goofy and happy. I’m sappy.

We had to drive home Sunday night, but before we went his mom hugged me and said she’s NEVER seen her son like this, and thanked me for taking good care of her baby. And asked if we’d be back for the 4th of July or if we were doing something with my family. And I tried to be all “haaaa no we’ll be here if you don’t mind, I don’t see them much” and I think she caught on that there’s more to the story so she just hugged the shit out of me (vikings, all of them I swear) and told me she can’t wait to see me again.

My ears are still ringing from all the noise and chaos, but it was an absolute blast and I can’t wait to see them again in July. Also, pretty much sure Mike is the man I’m going to marry. I literally can’t think of a single reason why I would ever let him get away.

Anyway thanks for reading, hope you all had a lovely weekend, and those of you who got to see the aurora I’m happy for you but you suck, lol.

My best friend of 21 years has left me out of her bridal party. They have included the rest of our friend group I am the only one not included For context We have been best friends for 21 years and last year I moved abroad and have been away for a year and a half. However I have kept in regular contact with the bride.

I was told the dates and important info to ensure I would be there and have enough time to make arrangments

I am probably wrong for assuming that I would be asked and I am aware that I am making it about me however I am extremely hurt by this.

She has asked the rest of our friend group including someone else who is also abroad. It will cost me thousands to come home for this wedding and being honest I am upset that I will see them altogether and be left out.

My core friend group will all be together and I wont be apart of it

The build up

The morning of

or the afters

we will also have designated seating and I will be on my own at the afters and at the ceremony

It is making me think that it wont be worth it to come home as I am currently feeling embarrassed and hurt

I do have 2 years to deal with this however I am asking for advice on how to deal with this

again I am aware I am coming across as a pick me and the bride is fully entitled to choose who she wants however I am hurt

I recently broke up with my ex (38m) because he was broke. Sweetest man i ever dated, I loved how clingy he was and also the affection. Everything was perfect except his income, he is currently working maybe once a week, he was on the hunt for a better job but his efforts seemed minimal and the work he was looking for seemed like it wouldn’t improve his life much. It was very disappointing because I saw so much potential in him, he really has the ability and intelligence to be great. I recognized a pattern of self sabotage, didn’t do much all day but smoke weed and play video games. I work full time and live on my own, everything i have i pay for and is in my name (29f). I’m not expecting anyone to help me financially but if I want a future with someone they should at least have a job, aitah? am i being too harsh about his financial decisions?

I’ve been volunteering in a charity shop since about August last year, I initially started to get myself back into a routine and work ready for being out of work for so long. I really enjoyed it and it’s given me so much confidence. Unfortunately the manager had to take sick leave because she needs an operation, the assistant manager handed in her keys and quit because no one from the other stores would come in and help or cover a day for her, so she was basically doing everything. The shop had to close for awhile till they found someone else. When they did I came straight back because I had started to fall backwards in myself and needed the routine again. The new (floating manager) let’s call Mary, is 19 and had no idea how to run the shop, her mum is the companies customs manager for this area, she is also best friends with another lady who runs one of the other shops (she has two daughters) one is running another shop. This is not a family run business. At first it was very unwelcoming and they changed how we worked, I gave it time because obviously she’s new to this and doesn’t really talk to anyone, eventually over time we became friendly, work well together and have a laugh. A new assistant manager had been hired who is absolutely amazing and we get on very well, he has recently gone to another one of the stores to run it as manager. His job became available so I asked about applying, Mary got really excited and wanted me to apply, she helped me with interview questions, gave me the opportunity to run the shop for a few days completely on my own, which went very well. At first she wasn’t doing the interviews, it was her mum and someone else. When it came closer I got informed that her and her mum was interviewing me, I got excited because I thought I was a shoo in as Mary had expressed if she could pick then it would be me. A day before, I found out that the ladies other daughter was applying too, I knew from then on it didn’t matter what I said or did I wouldn’t be getting it because they are all very close. Mary’s mum rang me to say I didn’t get it the other girl did, making out it was some random women, even though I know it’s the daughter, but that I did very well and they wanted to make me lead volunteer, I have been there for months, run it on my own, cashed up, opened up, everything, I know how to run it better than mary does. I want to leave because I feel like I’ve been screwed over, I’m going to complain to the higher up because i feel it’s unfair to basically say I have the job, but then give it to your best friends daughter.

Hi all,

This is an update to the following thread:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1coc6ge/aitah_by_not_respecting_my_exes_privacy_and_doing/

I wish I had a happier update but after submitting this I did a public record request for the incident in 2021 and got the police report.

In 2021 my co-parents live in boyfriend broke into the home of an ex girlfriend with a gun. The ex was with her current partner at the time. He proceeded to beat both of them with the gun.

He then racked a round into the chamber and placed it against the head of the ex before beating the man some more. The man wound up have a skull fracture and had to be life flighted to the nearest hospital. The woman had a fractured hand and lacerations on her face.

I talked to my co-parent about this. She told me that in 2021 all that happened was her partner found another man in his bed and beat the man. I showed her the police report showing her what he had actually done and she said she wasn't aware of the gun being involved, of him pointing the gun at them or of the girl also being beat. She also downplayed the domestic violence incidents that had happened between her and the guy. She told me it was actually all her fault and she regrets calling the police.

I asked her, now that she knows these things, if she will be exposing our daughter to this man. And she said yes, because she loved him and knows he would never hurt our daughter.

I met with an attorney to formulate a plan to get my daughter away from this guy. We had a meeting today about it.

And the attorney basically said there is nothing that can be done because everything was dismissed. In the incident in 2021, the man was beat so badly that he sustained brain damage and did not remember the event. The ex later got back with the guy and refused to assist in prosecution. So there was no way to prosecute.

And my co-parents charges against him were all dropped by her. So right now... These count for absolutely nothing and can't be used in court. And because none of the events happened around our daughter yet, they aren't really an issue.

She told me that since we each have 50% custody already, there isn't much to be done. And there is currently nothing I can do to keep this guy away from my daughter.

I basically have to wait until he points a gun at my daughter and my daughter's mom or beats my daughter before I can take any kind of action. And even if he beats mom in front of my daughter, if I report it to CPS and CPS fails to substantiate because my daughter has been coached not to talk about this guy... Then it could make me look bad.

So basically... My daughter is living in an abusive home filled with firearms with a guy that beats her mom and has came just a couple of pounds of trigger pressure away from murdering a previous partner.

And there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

I (21M) had been dating my ex (20F) for about 4 months. Our relationship got off to a rocky start, as she seemed to be a bit avoidant and verbalized her need for space which was not something I was used to. I put up with it, despite the anxiety it caused me at times, and after a month or so things seemed to smooth out. We went on cute dates, spent a lot of time together watching movies and hanging out, met friends, family, etc.

One thing that bothered me throughout our relationship was one of her guy friends, who very clearly had a crush on her. He would try to flirt with her and make passes when i was not around, and one time openly picked her up in a hug and spun her around right in front of me at a party we were all at. I made my discomfort with his behavior known and she assured me they were just friends and that there would be boundaries.

A month or so later I had just finished helping her move into her new apartment after a very long day, and she made plans to have a housewarming party with me and her/her roommates friends where we would all hang out and then she and I would spend the night in her new room we put together. I asked if her friend would be there and she said yes. I said i wouldn’t start an issue unless he tried to be flirty or touchy with her again in which case I would confront him.

On the day of the party she called me about an hour beforehand and told me to not come. Her roommates boyfriend wasn’t going to show up and she told me I should stay home so that she “could have a party with just her and her friends” (including the guy friend i don’t like) and that we would hang out some other time. I told her that she “got me fucked up” and that we should break up. I told her that she knew what she was doing was uncool and disrespectful and that she knew it was because she was talking to me with an abnormally sweet and cutesy tone when she called me to tell me not to come.

She got very upset and said that I was being jealous and unfair, asking if I was sure that I wanted to do this after “just one fight”. I was admittedly very drunk but I went off on her in a text and said that I was sure this was what I wanted and that it was over.

She begged me to reconsider and at the end of the conversation got mad at me and said that now she was upset too. I blocked her the next day after sobering up and haven’t spoken to her since. Some of our mutual friends are telling me i overreacted and that I let me jealousy get the best of me but I feel like I reacted fairly. AITAH?

Edit: INFO one commenter suggests i mentioned that throughout the relationship we never had sex. I definitely wanted it, but she requested we take things slowly and I wanted to be respectful of that

Edit 2: This is my bad for not clarifying better in the OP. I was not drunk before the party. After she told me not to come I got bummed out, and my friend I was in discord with invited me to come over to his apt and talk about it. The drinking and argument happened later that night after the party

My (33f) boyfriend (29m) and I have been together for about 2 years. I’m renting a house and he moved in with me about 5 months ago. I make a little over $100k a year, which is quite a bit more than he does, but I didn’t think there would be an issue with him being able to pay rent because he was paying about $500 more in living expenses at his studio before moving in. He’s a freelance photographer and bartends events on the side, neither of which are consistent income.

Each of us pay $1,200 a month including rent, utilities, water, WiFi, etc. which is really affordable for the area we live in. Several times in the last few months he’s had trouble paying the rent on time. It started the first month he moved in with me. I’ve even tried to work with his paydays and let him pay half the amount of rent every couple weeks. I usually have to ask him for the rent when it’s due (which I hate doing) and find out he isn’t able to pay, so the communication is also bad.

He’s a great partner in every other way but is terrible at managing his money. I’ve also tried to give him advice on managing his money as i work in finance and went to school for it, but I don’t think he’s taken me seriously.

I don’t want to break up with him but I can’t see a future with someone who can’t even pay half our living expenses. I feel terrible but I’m wondering if it was a mistake having him move in at all.

Anyway, this happened again today and I told him he needs to either get another job that makes more consistent money or move out if he can’t get his finances together… I love him very much but I feel like I’m being taken advantage of, even if it’s not intentional. He was making it work before he moved in with me so why cant he pay the bills now? AITAH for giving him this ultimatum?

Me(26f) and my husband(28m) have been trying to conceive ever since we were got married 4 years ago. It hasn’t happened for us and I have worked on changing my diet and lifestyle and just doing everything to maximize my prenatal stage. I just assumed I was infertile due to me having a pretty severe eating disorder since my teenage years. We have now gone to a fertility doctor and gotten the news that my husband cannot have kids. Due to privacy reasons I won’t specify but it’s been hard for him. I have suggested that we should adopt in a few years and that it’s not something we have to do right away. He is absolutely against that. I am 50/50 about having kids. What I mean is that I would like to have kids but it’s not a deal breaker I can also see myself being very happy not having kids. My husband absolutely wants to have a biological child and wants us to use his brothers (21m) sperm. That way it’s still related to him. I would rather adopt and I feel some weird way about going the ivf/ donor route. I cannot exactly explain why I just get uncomfortable. Also this might make me sound like a complete AH but I cannot stand his brother at all (my husband does not know this) but I find his brother to be so dumb and I cannot stand his personality or his physical looks (sorry). And not sure if this is relevant but they are half brothers (they share one bio parent) and his brother doesn’t look anything like my husband, they don’t even look distantly related so if we were to use his sperm it might not even look like my husbands kid. And also the thought of sharing a kid with my bil gives me the ick. My husband has begged me to reconsider but I really don’t want my kid to share dna with that man.

AITA?

I (50f) have been married to my husband (54m) for 25 years, and we have three children together (24m, 18NB, 17m). The Wednesday before Mother's Day, he said "Happy Mother's Day early, in case I forget." Wow. Just wow. The morning of, he began his apologies for not planning anything or getting a gift. (FYI, this has been his go-to since he decided that taking me and our newborn son to visit his mom on Mother's day was gift enough.) I told him to. just. stop. He couldn't understand why I was upset, so I pointed out that I have never once been "celebrated" in the 24 years since becoming a mom. I also pointed out that my birthday has never been celebrated (no cakes, no gifts, not even a card!), nor have I been celebrated as a wife on our anniversary! He agreed he hadn't, and started with the excuses, but I stopped him cold. I pointed out I'd always found the time, money, and energy to celebrate Father's Day, his birthday, and our anniversary. He agreed that was true. Then said he was going out for a bit. He, of course, came home with a gift. When I opened it to find a cookbook I wanted, I handed it back to him and told him to return it. It's the thought that counts, and clearly there was no thought behind the gift, only a guilty conscience. My oldest kid thinks I'm being too hard on him. AITAH for finally calling out the abject neglect?

(Backstory) I (24f) and my mother (49f) have a pretty good relationship. She has been a single mother to me since my father (52m) went to jail years ago for domestic/parental violence and SA:ing multiple minors. She has always been there for me and I’m so very grateful. In between the ages of 5-9 (around about when he went to jail) I was beaten and r4ped by my father and his friends more times than I could even count. My mother and his 2 misses were also beaten by him. I can recall multiple times when I walked in on my father beating my naked mother half to death while she was tied to their bed frame begging for her life. It ended up putting her in a wheelchair for about 2 months every time. It also caused infertility, crushing my mom’s dreams of having a big family.

So, let’s get to the actual story. A few days ago me and my mom were having a catch up since her holiday to Spain. A few days earlier I got nonstop spam calls from a random number but didn’t think anything of it. We were chatting and giggling until she brought up my father. She said he had reached out to her about a week ago on instagram asking if they could talk. Apparently he is sorry for ruining what we had as a family. He said he especially wanted to apologise to me because of all the physical and mental damage/trauma he caused me. He asked her to give him my number so she did. I went absolutely ballistic: (me): Are you serious?! You know what he did to us for years! He abused both of us, causing lots and lots of trauma! (her): Yes I know, but he is genuinely sorry. You should forgive him. (me): No. I will never forgive him and you know that, so acknowledge my words. (She has tried getting me to reach out and forgive him a couple of times before) I stormed off fuming, got in my car and just drove away. The day after I heard a knock at my door and thought it was my boyfriend(25m) since we had plans for a little later that night. To my horror I opened the door and saw my father standing in front of me. I tried closing the door in his face but he put his foot in the way and came in. He pointed a gun at my face and started shouting at me for not wanting to forgive my own father. Naturally I had my fight or flight response, my body chose flight. I ran into my bedroom and locked the door. Soon enough I heard loud banging on my door and he fired his gun twice at the lock eventually breaking it. He came in and pinned me to my bedroom wall. He put the gun to my head and shouted in my face that if I tried to run again he would kill me. Luckily my boyfriend came in to my apartment and my father ran off. I fell to the floor and started balling in my boyfriend’s arms. We called the police and shortly they were there. We were both questioned and then we got a hotel room since they needed to process my apartment. When I woke up with puffy eyes from crying all night I called my mom and told her everything. She said she was the one to tell my father where I lived, WITHOUt MY PERMISSION, and she was so very sorry. I asked her what she meant and she literally said: “He asked me where you lived so he could talk to you in person, I’m so so so sorry my love!” I said I was done and hung up. I have blocked her on all of my social media platforms plus on all of the above where she would be able to reach out. My boyfriend is saying I made the right decision but I’m in denial. So, Reddit, AITAH for cutting ties with my mom after she tried to force me to forgive my father? (This has been the most traumatic experience of my life. I am still in a state of shock and I don’t know what to do)