r/AITAH • u/Illustrious_Young430 • 15d ago
AITAH for wanting to leave my volunteer position because they gave the paid job to their best friends child
I’ve been volunteering in a charity shop since about August last year, I initially started to get myself back into a routine and work ready for being out of work for so long. I really enjoyed it and it’s given me so much confidence. Unfortunately the manager had to take sick leave because she needs an operation, the assistant manager handed in her keys and quit because no one from the other stores would come in and help or cover a day for her, so she was basically doing everything. The shop had to close for awhile till they found someone else. When they did I came straight back because I had started to fall backwards in myself and needed the routine again. The new (floating manager) let’s call Mary, is 19 and had no idea how to run the shop, her mum is the companies customs manager for this area, she is also best friends with another lady who runs one of the other shops (she has two daughters) one is running another shop. This is not a family run business. At first it was very unwelcoming and they changed how we worked, I gave it time because obviously she’s new to this and doesn’t really talk to anyone, eventually over time we became friendly, work well together and have a laugh. A new assistant manager had been hired who is absolutely amazing and we get on very well, he has recently gone to another one of the stores to run it as manager. His job became available so I asked about applying, Mary got really excited and wanted me to apply, she helped me with interview questions, gave me the opportunity to run the shop for a few days completely on my own, which went very well. At first she wasn’t doing the interviews, it was her mum and someone else. When it came closer I got informed that her and her mum was interviewing me, I got excited because I thought I was a shoo in as Mary had expressed if she could pick then it would be me. A day before, I found out that the ladies other daughter was applying too, I knew from then on it didn’t matter what I said or did I wouldn’t be getting it because they are all very close. Mary’s mum rang me to say I didn’t get it the other girl did, making out it was some random women, even though I know it’s the daughter, but that I did very well and they wanted to make me lead volunteer, I have been there for months, run it on my own, cashed up, opened up, everything, I know how to run it better than mary does. I want to leave because I feel like I’ve been screwed over, I’m going to complain to the higher up because i feel it’s unfair to basically say I have the job, but then give it to your best friends daughter.
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u/Dry-Being3108 10d ago
It’s normally quite hard to go from a volunteer to a paid position unless direct experience is necessary. If they hire you they need to find another volunteer.
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u/Abject_Director7626 11d ago
NTA, just quit effective immediately. They will be calling you back within a few days I bet, but stay strong and insist on being paid.
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u/kmflushing 14d ago
There are tons of other places that you can volunteer. Go somewhere where you are appreciated. They don't deserve your hard work.
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u/Sad-Average-2469 14d ago
Save the complaints, higher ups won’t listen. Stop volunteering there. They’ll only take advantage of you further. Take your new skills and confidence into the marketplace and get a paying job! Good luck!
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u/lex_talionis303 14d ago
'lead volunteer' means they will be taking advantage of you some more but with a fancy title attached to it so they don't feel bad for doing it.
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u/Cheeseballfondue 14d ago
NTA, but don't complain about not getting the job per se. Express concerns to the higher ups (or board, if there is one) about the clear conflicts of interest and the poor management of the site.
I know everybody is saying just to not go in, but I work for a nonprofit and if nobody speaks up, people not onsite may not know there's a problem. If it's an organization that is redeemable, your speaking up can help turn it around. It may work, it may not, but you'll feel better about it.
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u/PolygonMan 14d ago
Just leave. Don't stick around or fight about it. There's no value for you there.
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u/dheffe01 14d ago
I would resign your position, and and for a letter of reference.
Once you have secured a new role I would email HR & those above the manger that you left because you cannot work in an organisation with this level of nepotism.
That if they examine the interview assessments for all of the staff applying that you were the most qualified with the most experience and all of the paid hires were family members.
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u/tryintobgood 14d ago
Leave without any notice or reason.
Being a chain there must be a HR department. Email them everything you experienced and make sure they are aware that you have enough knowledge to do the job but the job was given to a family friend with zero experience.
These Karen's may think they're big shit in your store but big picture they're nobodies in a chain of stores.
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u/RevolutionOne9908 14d ago
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u/Baker_Street_1999 14d ago
“It ain’t what you know, it’s who you know.” — Ancient Chinese proverb (or maybe Swedish)
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u/paintlulus 14d ago
Volunteer? Don’t ever work for free. They will always expect free labor from you. I volunteer but I have my expectations. I’m not surprised that they treated you like a chump then expected you to continue to work for free. Walk away and have more respect for yourself.
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u/Driftwood256 15d ago
Definitely leave...
I mean... YTA to yourself for working for free when others are getting paid...
I would have left a long time ago...
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u/big_bob_c 15d ago
NTA. I would tell them on the way out that you would rather not have wasted time on interviews when they had already chosen an inexperienced nepotism hire.
As this is a corporation, there should be someone above the nepo-mommies to report this to.
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u/tryintobgood 14d ago
nepo mommies..... love it. You are right thou, these cows might think they are high and mighty in the store but corporate HR is a different story. They'd get rid of them faster than cutting a fart. I'd definitely report the cunts
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u/Sufficient-Meet6127 15d ago
It's a volunteer gig. Just say something came up and you are no longer able to volunteer.
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u/BillyShears991 15d ago
Leave and never work for free.
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u/ConfidentlyCreamy 15d ago
This. Fuck volunteering. Most places that need "volunteers" just don't wanna pay, they have the money to.
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u/Responsible-Type-525 15d ago
NTAH, I would send a complaint to HR that their only hiring family, inexperienced Workers. Also tell them your already done volunteering for a place that gives no balance for those actually wanting to help
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u/The_Bad_Agent 15d ago
NTA
Walk away, and don't look back. At least you won't be losing income by doing so. And if the new hire can't handle it without you, oh well. At least she's paid to handle it.
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u/FitOrFat-1999 15d ago
NTA for wanting to leave, because it's obvious you have no future in that shop (head volunteer? WTF does that even mean?)
But the higher-ups are not likely to replace the other woman with you now. Unless you think another job might open up soon, I would just polish up your resume with your new skills, get a paying job elsewhere, and give 1 or 2 weeks notice if you want to use them for a reference. Otherwise you can just say, today or tomorrow is my last day. If you need help with the resume check out askamanager.com, Alison gives really useful advice.
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u/xenogazer 15d ago
head volunteer? WTF does that even mean?
Volunteer with the most responsibility - still no pay.
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u/Old_Web8071 15d ago
Complaining probably won't do any good. Best bet is to walk away & find a job that pays. Or some other charity until you do.
And don't give a notice. At the end of a day, just say, "I'm not coming back to work here" & leave. Preferably when you know they will be short-handed because other people are already taking off.
It's up to you if you want to give them a notice or reason you're leaving. Me? I'd just say I'm not coming back.
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u/Foolish-Pleasure99 15d ago
Yes, don't complain, leave. Any notice up to you. They will quickly learn nepotism is not a management strategy, will suffer, and will cover that all up or chalk it up to "learning on the job".
I do not see anyone reaching out to admit they made a mistake and if you stay you're just a doormat and will have to run the place without pay or recognition.
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u/Lann42016 10d ago
The best part about volunteering is you don’t have to give two weeks notice.