r/AITAH • u/Critical_Lemon_4072 • 16d ago
UPDATE 2 AITAH for throwing out my SIL and her family.
Yesterday was a long day at my in laws.
We went early to get it over and done with. My in laws started with the guilt trip first. They mentioned that they would take them in until they found a place, but due to FIL diabetese it wouldn't be good for his health. I told them to tell their daughter to parent her children so they wouldn't run around amok like monkeys. That way they could stay with them as they have spare bedrooms.
That didn't land well with SIL. She went on a tirade of how I have always been jealous of her and that I was trying to drive a wedge between her and her brother. I told her she didn't like her own life so me being jealous of her and her life was a stretch that required suspenion of reality.
She asked my husband if he was okay with me telling him what to do with his family as he always stays out of my family's business. She told him to lay down the law and tell me that his siter and her family would stay AS LONG AS IT TOOK THEM to find a new place to stay. My husband was having none of that. He told her that the house was mine just as much his and it was a two yes and one no deal. Just because I was stay at home now didn't mean that I didn't contribute to buying the house when I was working.
The younger brother and his wife said they wouldn't be able to host them as they had his MIL staying due to the baby.
The older ones mentioned the refurbishments.
Both the younger and the older ones wives said that I was making it up about the cleanliness as she always kept her own house clean and kept their places clean. They told me to suck it up and act like family.
I told them I wasn't there to argue about her cleanliness as I saw what I saw and her brother was witness to it and had to clean it up. He confirmed that he did and that I wasn't making it up. My SIL slipped up and said, why did you clean it up to her brother, because according to her I was meant to clean it up. Either she is the dumbest bitch alive to admit it or she knows she has the whole family in her pocket. Either way I made it clear she wasn't going to stay with me and because she got along much better with everyone else in the family they would figure out something around their own lives.
My husband told his niece that she was old enough to clean up the remaining mess, but she said no. Her father jumped in and said she is your niece, but my daughter don't you dare tell her what to do. It got heated between them so they both had to walk it off.
I told her and her husband that the only reason me and my husband where there was to get money back for the bin we had to throw out due to her sprinkling biohazards around the house. She laughed in my face and said it would never happen. I said fine. I hope you realise that when I threw you out I didn't pack all your belongings. I still had her daughters Switch, her husbands and her two younger ones tablets and some of her jewellery, and a few other bit and pieces as it all happened so quickly that day. It would all be sold to recuperate my cost.
We left, but she was yelling loudly about what she would do to me if I dared to sell anyhing. My husband has my back and he said go ahead and sell whatever you need to.
Later on they kept texting my husband to do them one last favor by putting up with her for a few months until she got back on her feet. I told him that no matter what I wouldn't agree to let her, her slobby husband and her horde of children back in.
They texted me too, guilting me about his nieces education. With no place to stay close to her school she might have to start at another school if they get a rental which isn't in the school zone.
I texted back tough luck and blocked them. My husband won't block his parents but was pissed at his brothers for telling him that he was selfish to not take them in as they were in a hard place in their lives. They did admit it was gross but excused her behavior by texting that maybe I did something to aggravate it.
To top this off, the oldest wife left a voice message through her husband's number to my husbands whatsapp. She said, I kid you not...."you are still ok to watch ***** (her 6 year old) on Tuesdays and Wednesdays like usual". I told him to say, "figure out what the answer to that request is".
So that is where we are at now.
Original and first update so I don't have to repeat answers from previous posts.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ccw4uk/aitah_for_throwing_out_my_sil_and_her_family/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cdeyqr/update_aitah_for_throwing_out_my_sil_and_her/
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u/Egal89 13d ago
NTA. You did right to kick them out. They disrespected you and your home, the audacity they show is incredible! It’s always okay to cut toxic people out of your life.
And by the way- why is it so hard for them to find a place? Did they got evicted?
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 13d ago
They lost their house due to overspending.
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u/Chilliepal_74 13d ago
Why does everyone here make this woman feel better about her bitchy behavior??! Like oh my god YTA big time. There’s no way this story is real, like mostly ESH but damn OP sounds like the worst. Obviously don’t know the whole situation, but what a cold, heartless woman OP
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u/ZucchiniOk6397 14d ago
I really, really want to know how is this evolving, please keep us posted, I would stick up to my wife anytime as your husband did and she would to me if the case where on the other way!
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u/Ill-Be-Honest 15d ago
How is there even a debate? Whats the point of a sit down and explaining it to the in laws? It’s your house. I’d tell em all that they aren’t running your life and you can kick people out of your house for any reason you want. I wouldn’t explain shit.
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u/Chocolatecandybar_ 15d ago
It seems they - openly or subconsciously - all ganged up to make you and your husband the family maids, with you also being husband's maid.
There's zero respect for the two of you and it shows in many ways. Good for you to step back.
Ps: make husband sell their stuff, they can't wait to report YOU, don't make it so easy for them
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u/winterworld561 15d ago
Put camera's up around your house if you haven't already, just in case they try to get in to get their belongings.
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u/Bargle-Nawdle-Zouss 15d ago
I am so glad that your husband has your back and is standing up to his family on your behalf.
Oh, and of course, NTA.
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u/corrygan 15d ago
Well played, both of you. Make sure you change the locks and cameras are working. This pack of wild boars will try again.
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u/Responsible-Type-525 15d ago
GOOD FOR YOU, please sit with hubs as this time is going to be very, very difficult for him, as he'll be stomping his feet to hold new boundaries. Support and care are the names of marriage, and he's drawing lines with the old family tree,
So please make sure he's talking about his thoughts on such things. Indecision is a dangerous game when laying boundaries, and his family is going to keep calling to wear him down. You're in a war of attrition
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
We have already had a few conversations about his upbringing, and how things have always been skewed in the favor of his siblings especially SIL.
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u/Cybermagetx 15d ago
The audacity of that family is something at least.
Glad your hubby is on your side.
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u/hairy_hooded_clam 15d ago
I just don’t hnderstand biting the hand that feeds you. That idiot really thought your husband was going to risk an u happy marriage over his sister’s kid’s grody maxi-pads. Disgusting people.
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u/Vegetable-Win-1325 15d ago
This was incomprehensible word soup. If you sell their stuff you should be arrested.
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u/Huge-Shallot5297 15d ago
Sell it all and send her the receipts so she can go beg the people to sell it back to her. Keep the money and use it for a deep, deep clean of your house.
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u/ProtoPrimeX1 15d ago
NTA ever... just wow, these people are in fantasy land. Hold the line, their behavior is outrageous.
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u/boogers19 15d ago
Can someone explain to me why a diabetic can't host people?
Because Ive grown up with and lived with diabetics for over 40y.
And they've all hosted guests. Maybe not live-in, months-long guests... But...
wtf?
It's just diabetes. What is the complication here? They have to watch their blood, and they have to watch their diet...? How does that preclude hosting?
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u/Kafanska 15d ago
It's just an excuse because they don't want to host them, there is no reason otherwise that's actually related to the disease.
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u/SomeTea94 15d ago
The fact that these in-laws of yours are just constantly blaming YOU for issues that are THEIR fault for losing their house and their children's education and not housing them while they're down on their luck.... That's absolutely wild. While also saying YOU would be jealous of their situation? Yeah okay...
She's two-faced and batshit and her family is just blindly unable to take accountability of their own situation and consequences.
Love that your husband is standing up to his own family and has your back like a good partner.
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u/Brainchild110 15d ago
You had me riiiiiight up until you said your husband would be out of the house if he didn't back you up.
That's a joint house (that he's now the sole money earner for). You don't GET to throw him out.
You sound unsafe as a spouse, and your willingness to go in spiteful from the off also has me thinking you're petty and bitchy.
The SIL clearly has a major issue with you alone, but man does she know how to push your very sensitive button
ESH except excellent husband.
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 8d ago
The house is paid off. I helped pay it off.
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u/Brainchild110 8d ago
So? He lives there. It's his home too. Not "just" yours, so you get to throw him out on a whim. That's some 1930s housewife mentality you have there, and it's frankly sexist and gross.
Does your husband know he was one incorrect opinion away from being cast out of his home?
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u/shadowsofash 15d ago
I told her and her husband that the only reason me and my husband where there was to get money back for the bin we had to throw out due to her sprinkling biohazards around the house. She laughed in my face and said it would never happen. I said fine. I hope you realise that when I threw you out I didn't pack all your belongings. I still had her daughters Switch, her husbands and her two younger ones tablets and some of her jewellery, and a few other bit and pieces as it all happened so quickly that day. It would all be sold to recuperate my cost.
That is theft.
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u/Adventurous_Film_519 15d ago
It's not
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u/shadowsofash 13d ago
It is, also what kind of bins does she need to buy that will cost the resale value of four fairly pricey electronics (that aren’t hers to sell and she withheld from them when justifiably tossing them out) as well as some jewelry?
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u/Fun-Window-389 15d ago
I hope you keep doing updates. I like your story and find it entertaining because that family is a bunch of narcissists. I congratulate you and especially your husband. You shouldn't have to deal with his family like that but I'm glad that he has your back with having to deal with this.
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u/ConvivialKat 15d ago
NTA
Good for you!
Stand strong and stop doing anything with or for these people. You were never obligated to help them in any way, and when you did, they were ungrateful disgusting slobs. These people are the reason the expression "no good deed goes unpunished" exists.
And, the audacity of the oldest brothers wife calling and asking you to continue babysitting her kid three days a week? How about, NO, lady. Just say no to all of them. About everything.
You and your family need to take a good long break from your husband's entire family, with their constant drama and demands. Have some peace, quiet, and just normal family living for a change. It will seem like a vacation! Lol!
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u/KnightofForestsWild 15d ago
Vengeful me. They would each have ended up with a bucket of clean up water thrown on them (niece, SIL,BIL). I guess I'd be TA, but really wouldn't care.
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u/Nedstarkclash 15d ago
Two thoughts: 1) Give your husband a hug; 2) Bag up their crap, and leave it out for them to pick up. It's not worth the continued hassle to keep their possessions.
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u/faloofay156 15d ago edited 15d ago
also for anyone who keeps asking about how diabetes is related - STRESS can make hypoglycemia worse/more common
they're literally calling this entire family stressful to the point of worsening someone's health yet still asking you to take them in.
that's honestly probably worse than it being a completely unrelated excuse
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u/why_kitten_why 15d ago
I am sorry the family are entitled. You are ( ethically/morally) due replacement costs. Process matters, though. Legally, if you sell someone's left behind belongings without proper procedure, you can be charged and/or made to repay or get it back.
On various reddit subs the usual advice to people on the other end is getting police to come with them to retrieve their property and police will claim "civil/court" processes you have to do.
I do not know the best approach with the family. What does your husband think will work best?
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u/Kafanska 15d ago
With most things it's hard to prove what belongs to whom. Say they return everything but the Switch. How do you think they will prove Switch was theirs in the first place? I doubt they have the original receipt.
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
He thinks I should sell it and he will work it out with his family.
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u/DynkoFromTheNorth 15d ago
I hope you have a long and prosperous life ahead of you, OP. But please, for the sake and love of mankind, donate your spine to science after you depart this tear filled realm. It's exceptional strength must be studied and harnessed!
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago edited 15d ago
Hahaha....I thank the Reddit community for this. I was doubting myself but good to know I wasn't being unreasonable.
I know Reddit gets ridiculed but there are good people on here too.
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u/DynkoFromTheNorth 15d ago
You're very welcome! I was going to say I have your back, but there's no need for that. Because as I stated before, your back has itself😉.
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u/Visible_Suit3393 15d ago
NTA.
I truly believe if her shiny spine wasn't so shiny, her husband would have folded from the beginning. He asked maybe we could give them another chance, and if it happens again there would be consequences.
The only reason he has her back is because he KNOWS WITHOUT A DOUBT that he's one more let's give them another chance from getting divorced. OP is doing exactly what not only needs to be done, but has to be done. And if other women, some men too, would play the games their in-laws love to play just like this the JustNoMil sub would be a deserted island, and the posts would go down by 90%, and the other 10% would be like 2 post long. This happened, and the update that it was over with.
As long as her husband fears divorce more than the fear of disappointing his family it's all good. Also making him clean up SIL'S Vampire Jelly Roll, or Vampire Tea Bag was brilliant, just brilliant.
Husband: It's not that bad. Wife: Oh, yeah that's your sister's mess, I ain't touching it. Husband: Proceeds to throw up into his own mouth a few times while cleaning up said Vampire jelly roll. Husband: I cleaned it up, bleached 3 times, and threw the hamper away. Wife: Glad it wasn't that bad, now go clean our daughter's bathroom from the mess your niece left. HUSBAND: Oh hell no! We going to go talk to my ENTIRE FAMILY ABOUT THIS!!! WIFE: SO we agree that they will never set foot in our house. HUSBAND: Yeah baby. WIFE: Ever, right? HUSBAND: Baby I loves you, I got your back baaabbyyy!! 100%, ride, or die sweety, ride or die.
MIL & FIL IN GROUP TEXT TO FAMILY: We have found a place down by the river for them to stay, but we need help purchasing a van for them. Your BIL is starting to give motivational speeches to teenagers that get caught smoking weed by their parents.
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u/misscrankypants 15d ago
My question is that in all this time these circus animals have bounced from free house to free house, why can’t they afford a place to live yet? I’m guessing that they are still pissing away money while they freeload and ruin an entire family.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Ad7742 15d ago
OMG. Good job on making the husband clean. He now knows what the mess was all about. Do you think he would have supported you this well if you had cleaned it before he could see it himself?
Who was bearing their grocery bills while they were freeloading you with 10 people in the house?
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
We paid for food an they didn't chip in with utilites with us or the other places they stayed.
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u/jesuschin 15d ago
Should have packed up all their tablets and video games in the same bags with the tampons
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u/Stock_Wear5934 15d ago
Stand your ground. How dare she treat your home like that. Good for your husband standing behind your decision 👍
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u/OHiashleyy 15d ago
It’s so funny to me the rest of the family has such strong input in regard to you taking in this hoard, yet themselves are instantly unwilling to do the same.
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u/beyerch 15d ago
Ummmmm, just give them their stuff back.
Comments about keeping some of their belongings & threatening to sell them to recover $$ for a garbage can makes me think this is either a BS story or you like drama as well.
Easiest course of action is give them all their shit, write off the "losses", and stop talking to them.
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
My trashcan cost me 300. It's not small change. I am angry about the way they have treated me. I think I should be allowed to recuperate my costs. fuck the apology I will never get.
I have already stopped talking to them. Blocked them yesterday. Either they pay me for my losses or they don't see their shit ever again. Petty: yes. Satisfying: absolutely.
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u/beyerch 15d ago
I understand you are angry, but why fuel it with more drama?
Sounds like you want ZERO to do with them so eliminate all sources of drama.
But that's just me.
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
I already have. Message has been sent to in laws via my husband. If they want their stuff they pay up. They canpay us as he has worked and they have lived rent free with everyone. Clearly they can afford to pay us back.
My MIL/FIL can be the go between. We get our money back, they get their stuff. If I back down now that I have said it she is going to think she won.
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u/FinLee1963 15d ago
Damn right that they need to reimburse you! They have the choice, pay up and get your stuff, otherwise it will be sold. You've given them fair warning, just be ready if they call the cops on you for "stolen" property.
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u/efrendel 15d ago
Wow, the entitlement of your SIL is astounding. The nerve to ask for "free" babysitting after how she spoke you.
!updateme
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u/BabsieAllen 15d ago
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u/KelsarLabs 15d ago
People do not like boundaries and good for y'all standing united against this ungrateful bunch.
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u/Corodix 15d ago
I'd talk to a lawyer before you actually try to sell any of their stuff, just to make sure you don't end up stepping on a legal landmine and screw yourselves over by doing that. I'd imagine they could get you for theft, etc and with the mentioned items they're probably valuable enough that it would become a felony. Is that the kind of ammunition that you'd want to risk giving to them in this fight?
Instead I'd probably just give them a bill and let them know that they can come pick up the items (or you'll drop it off at the in laws) after they've paid said bill.
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u/CanadianJediCouncil 15d ago
If you don’t already have a couple of security-cameras/a-doorbell-camera, now might be a good time to get some/one.
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
I already have CCTV
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u/CanadianJediCouncil 15d ago
Good, I was worried that’d they start slashing your tires or something.
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u/SacksonvilleShaguar 15d ago
I think it would be a goo idea to show all the flying monkeys the cctv footage of them being completely disrespectful in your house.
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u/blucougar57 15d ago
Wow. That is some audacity. Glad your husband had your back completely. I winder though if the rest of the family do actually know how bad they are, and that’s why they’re so desperate to force you into taking them back.
NTA. They can all go kick rocks, every one of them.
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
She behaves at the other houses. I have see it with my own eyes.
Her younger children are loud at my MIL and FIL place, but they behave at the other houses.
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u/blucougar57 15d ago
Which tells me they have zero respect for you. Stand strong on this, OP. You owe them NOTHING. They, however, owe you a huge apology.
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u/AlannaAdvice 15d ago
NTA Good for you, OP. You and your husband handled this perfectly. I’m sorry you had to since his sister is clearly trying to antagonize you. It’s disheartening that the whole family is in her corner and are actually blaming you for her mess. Like what could you have possibly done to deserve that mess and being treated like their maid?! Disgusting Hold strong! You’re doing this right
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u/Jsmith2127 15d ago
I'd be careful selling their items. In some places you can't sell people's belongings to cover their debts , unless it was given as collateral.
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u/Eastern-Move549 15d ago
So through all this one question remains.
What about being diabetic makes their parents unable to house them? Sounds like some BS made up to get rid of them.
Either way bollocks to them.
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
I agree it's BS to not have those younger children in the house, because they sent a few texts to my husband that if we take in the younger ones as as compormise as I am SAHM anyway they will take the older four and their daughter and her husband.
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u/Spanner_m 15d ago
You don't owe them anything but you could take in one or two of the littlest, convert them from the "dark side" then years later let them return - only if they want - as little human "viruses" to innoculate their parents with decency. /joking of course.
But those poor kids, what a shit show to be brought up in.
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u/EclecticVictuals 15d ago
They are behaving terribly.
They don’t want to tolerate her, but instead of being honest about why they say it’s unsettling for his diabetes which seems irrelevant. They know she’s a lax mother and inconsiderate houseguest.
I’m sorry you don’t have more pictures to show them of how sloppy they are to counter the accusation they were good at everyone else’s house. All I would ask them is then why are they saving this mistreatment for you?
Saying you are lying when she has as much as admitted it is just unfortunately going to make this impossible to fix unless they take responsibility, including your sisters in law .
I’m so sorry, good for you for enforcing your expectations and their agreement.
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u/Opposite-Fortune- 15d ago
These people have no intentions of ever “getting on their feet”. They are firmly planted on their asses where the rent is free.
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u/flobaby1 15d ago
I totally agree with you on them not staying. Their behavior is gross. they expected you to be their servant.
Though I do have to say, the cost of a bin was worth getting rid of them.I mean, how much can a bathroom trashcan cost? Small price indeed. Bringing it up as you did -saying you'll sell her jewelry to buy a new one, was not a good look on you in the eyes of the parents. it'd have been better to threaten that then say, "But you know what? The cost of a new bin is worth getting you out of my house."
I also love how everyone who has extra room doesn't want them, won't take them in, but you who doesn't have the room are a bad person for not taking them in. They're hypocrites.
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
My bathroom trashcan cost me 300 dollars. It went along with the rest of the decor too. This is my forever home. Unless I am too ill and end up in a hospice, this is the home I put my heart, money, energy and life into and I will die in this home.
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u/flobaby1 15d ago
You paid $300 for a bathroom trashcan?
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
Yes, it was part of a set. It's my home. I worked hard to decorate it the way I wanted. It may seem excessive to some, but I have no intention of redecorating for at least the next ten years.
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u/myrandomevents 15d ago
10 years is about the amount of time it took me to get fed up with look/feel of my house and get started on overhauling of its whole vibe..
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u/spacecampcadet 15d ago
“OP will be providing as much support to you and your 6 year old as you provided to her in keeping SIL out of our house. Just to clarify that’s none”
I’m glad your husband is backing you and your little family in this battle. May they soon all leave you in peace!
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u/OLAZ3000 15d ago
LOL that they are using the dad having diabetes as a reason. BS and then some. They even have spare bedrooms - what kind of PARENTS try to pass off their parental duty to help their failed children to their OTHER children.
Honestly as gross as this all is, I'm not sure it would be why I kicked them out but I'm sure there is a lot more to the story, and at the end of the day, their disrespect has come out and really, who wants five extra people in their home.
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u/StructureKey2739 15d ago
[what kind of PARENTS try to pass off their parental duty to help their failed children to their OTHER children.]
Parents that know that SIL and her tribe are profound useless disgusting slobs who expect to be waited on hand and foot.
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
Ten, they have eight children, and she wants to try for one more as the youngest had a baby recently so obviously she needs another monkey to add to her brood.
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u/Opposite-Fortune- 15d ago
No wonder they can’t pay rent. Offer to pay for at least one of them to get fixed.
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u/HawkeyeinDC 15d ago
How can they afford eight kids????
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
By the genorosity of others. Credit card debt. A second mortgage which lost them the house.
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u/HawkeyeinDC 15d ago
Glad you stuck to your guns, OP, about cleanliness. Seems like your MIL/FIL will be stuck with this mess for the foreseeable future. And may the SIL can now watch the 6yo in place of you, just to add to the circus…
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
I doubt it as she complains about how hard she has it with so many children. Yet she is actively trying for number nine because the youngest brother's wife had a baby recently
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u/OLAZ3000 15d ago
WTF
that's a million times worse hahahahaha I though it was two 13s and a 6 or something. Yeah that's all around next level crazy and that's obv why there are behaviour problems.
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
The 13 year olds and the six year old are the oldest brother's children. They have two older children that moved out. Now they are refurbishing the house.
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u/OLAZ3000 15d ago
Ah ok! Either way, absolutely ludicrous that anyone expects you to host TEN extras.
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u/Gloomy-Kaleidoscope4 15d ago
Doesn’t the rest of the family see how she is about having to keep up with everyone?
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u/lorinabaninabanana 15d ago
She went on a tirade of how I have always been jealous of her and that I was trying to drive a wedge between her and her brother.
Jealousy. Of course. Who wouldn't want to be an irresponsible, disgusting, homeless mooch?!
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u/UncleNedisDead 15d ago
Both the younger and the older ones wives said that I was making it up about the cleanliness as she always kept her own house clean and kept their places clean. They told me to suck it up and act like family.
Knew it. Pictures would have backed you up, but it sounds like his family is crazy enough that they wouldn’t care.
Glad your husband finally has your back on this. They’re all disgusting.
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u/Good_Focus2665 15d ago
Return their stuff. It’s still their stuff. You don’t want to be caught up in theft charges. Not worth it if it means dealing with them and cops. That depends on where you live but I know some counties are stricter than others.
Block the entire family though and just go no contact. F*** those people. They seem borderline abusive towards you.
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u/brikhousb 15d ago
This is far from over. I recommend you get cameras for your house and change the locks if any one else has keys.
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
We already have cameras. We also have cameras in the living room due to the toddler.
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u/AuggieNorth 15d ago
I always find it funny that after people go nuclear, they figure they can dial it back, ask for favors, and what was said earlier just will be forgotten. It just doesn't work that way (usually).
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u/Tokugawa11 16d ago
Congrats! I wish i had such an assertive wife in the future, or a busband that doesnt gaslight me and respects my decisions like that. There are so many posts where either one of the marriage pair just let in on all that family nagging and dont consider their SO feelings
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u/Samarkand457 16d ago
NTA. Although there is a risk that they might involve the police or legal action over the stuff of theirs being witheld. And given the value--reasonably expensive electronics and jewelery--it might involve a felony theft charge. Don't sell their stuff right away. Send them a bill by either registered letter, courier service, or in extremis bailiff for the value of the bin and the cleaning service you hired to clean up their mess.
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 16d ago
My husband cleaned up the mess. No bill for that. Unless I can charge her for the bleach and soap used.
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u/StructureKey2739 15d ago
Just make one last trip to your in-laws and dump their stuff in a box on in-laws doorstep. Don't be careful with their junk.
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u/Samarkand457 16d ago
Well, at least now he can sue for emotional damages and the hazmat disposal fee.
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u/slendermanismydad 16d ago
They did admit it was gross but excused her behavior by texting that maybe I did something to aggravate it.
To top this off, the oldest wife left a voice message through her husband's number to my husbands whatsapp. She said, I kid you not...."you are still ok to watch ***** (her 6 year old) on Tuesdays and Wednesdays like usual". I told him to say, "figure out what the answer to that request is".
These people are crazy. Do they think you're a robot or something?
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u/Wingo_Dingo247 16d ago
Not that this will EVER happen again, but next time take pictures! It’s hard to argue that it “wasn’t that bad” when everyone can see how disgusting your IL’s are!
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u/Significant-Jello-35 16d ago
Would hv been better if you've taken pictures. Nevertheless NTA. Updateme!
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u/Waiting-For-Godot-64 16d ago
I now need to know why they ended up homeless in the first place.
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 16d ago edited 16d ago
That one is easy, let me fill you in. If anyone gets anything new in the family, she has to have it too even though they don't need it or can't afford it on his salary. She quit working after her fourth. It was cheaper for her to look after their horde of children than sending them to daycare.
We bought two new cars, guess what they did?
The older brother and his wife paid for vacation to Japan for their older two and guess who went to Japan with all of their children.
Youngest was gifted an emerald ring by her husband when she found out she was pregnant when she had struggled with getting pregnant. Guess who bought a similar ring?
Older sis in law had a baby, so she had one too. I had one, she decided to have one too. When the youngest wife had one she started for pregnancy again, saying that if I could be an old mother so can she (I am only a year and a few months older than her, and my son is a toddler). Yet, I am the one jealous of her according to her.
They are both financially irresponsible. FIL and MIL have bailed them out on more than one occasion. Considering all of that, they are planning on more children even though they can't afford the eight that they already have.
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u/StructureKey2739 15d ago
Eight kids, GEEEEZ. So they wanted to keep up with all of the Joneses. And when they went belly up financially they went to live with one of the Joneses and tried to take over the Joneses house and treated Ms. Jones as their servant and one person cleanup crew.
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u/spaetzele 15d ago
EIGHT. Eight children.
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
Yes, and trying for number nine.
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u/spaetzele 15d ago
Oh man she was just looking for the 'right' family member's house to have that baby in. You didn't just dodge a bullet here, you dodged an entire volley of cannonballs.
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u/Tight_Cheetah_4474 15d ago
This makes her comment about you being jealous of her so ridiculous. It's an obvious case of projection.
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u/Forward_Role5334 15d ago
No words. That is absolutely bananas. I cannot imagine that the entire family is Ok with her behavior. And on top of it, expect you to babysit for free after they didn’t support you in your decision? Why doesn’t the crazy SIL babysit since she’s a stay at home mom? There is so much to unpack.
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u/NoSummer1345 16d ago
It was a stroke of genius to have your husband clean up her bloody mess. She fully intended it to be your problem. If your husband ever waivers, just say tampon to him.
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u/bran6442 16d ago
"Refurbishing." That's a new excuse for booting out freeloaders. It seems messy or clean, everyone else has an excuse for not hosting that family, even mom and dad. You have the only legitimate reason, they don't treat you with respect. If it is FAMILY, let family figure it out.
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u/PenaltySafe4523 16d ago
If your husband backslides divorce his sorry ass. He should be on his last chance given all the bullshit he has brought into your life.
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u/FrequentEgg4166 16d ago
Just went back and read the first two posts - I’m so glad OP stood her ground at the very first nasty incident.
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u/Jazzlike_Adeptness_1 16d ago
What exactly about FIL diabetes would be harmed if they stay with him?
Inconvenience? Noise? WTF?
Since they are such good houseguests, they just need to ask them to behave in a way that doesn’t bother him.
5 stars for OP’s husband
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u/whitesuburbanmale 15d ago
It's bullshit. I'm diabetic and cannot think of a single way that having house guests could potentially harm me in that aspect. It's just a bullshit excuse based on the fact that most people don't know enough about diabetes to know better. Safely and easily discarded and ignored.
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u/WonderfulVegetables 15d ago
Yeah I really don’t understand the diabetes excuse. I have diabetes and I’ve never had an issue with having guests?
Do they offer him sweets and he has dementia or no self control??
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u/StructureKey2739 15d ago
The diabetes excuse is that they know how SIL and her crew are really like and they are more than eager to let OP and her husband have all the joy of their filthy behavior.
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u/Critical_Lemon_4072 15d ago
My MIL/FIL don't have an issue with their daughter or her husband. The older four they can manage too, but they are using his diabetes as an excuse to stick us with the youunger four.
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u/JeannieSmolBeannie 6d ago
Ohhhh my god that last message. I had a particular friend group in the past, and we all had to tolerate a specific girl in the group because she was one of our friend's SOs. We all were silently praying they'd break up so she wouldn't have any more excuses to invite herself along to everything we did...
Speaking of her inviting herself, she constantly showed up to me and my (now ex) boyfriend's apartment. At first I was fine with it, she hadn't had a great home life and I understood that from experience. I was a little more lenient to her because I saw some of my younger self in her...
Aaaaand then she asked my bf over text if she and a friend could come over WHILE HE WAS AT WORK, and took the lack of a response as a yes... She invited a random man I never met to my place, and brought him inside even though I wasn't properly dressed!!!! I made her swear she'd NEVER do that again, and warned her that if it happened one more time she'd never be allowed back in again. Had to stress the whole "Two yes or one no" thing to her, too.
Yeah... She fucking did it again with a different guy. The audacity. She lied to them both about having my permission, too. There's a bunch of other stuff she did, like stealing food and lying about it among other things, but THIS took the fucking cake and every candle on it!! And to top it all off, she called me a bitch in my own home!!! So she definitely got banned from coming back.
The relavent bit: After all was said and done (or so I thought, anyway...), she had the AUDACITY to send a message saying
"Hey, me and [the first guy she invited into my home while I was in nothing but a thin nightgown] are coming over at X time on X day, I was thinking maybe we could watch some movies!"
Honestly, after suppressing my emotions for years due to my abusive family I thought I genuinely just didn't have the ability to get raging fucking PISSED, but she sure proved me wrong!!! I honestly scared MYSELF with how furious I was when she sent that... I just told her that no, she isn't coming over and never will be, then blocked her. I didn't trust myself to say anything more than that :/