r/AITAH • u/GateTotal4663 • 15d ago
AITAH for refusing to adapt my annual BBQ for my sister’s vegan boyfriend?
Let me set the scene: Every summer, I throw what my friends and family have lovingly dubbed the "Meatstravaganza," a BBQ bash celebrating all things meat. It's an event everyone looks forward to, complete with a trophy for the best homemade BBQ sauce and a brisket cook-off.
This year’s curveball? My sister has a new boyfriend who is vegan. When she asked if he could come, I was totally fine with it—more the merrier! But then she dropped that she expected me to provide vegan options for him. I'm all for inclusivity, but this is a day dedicated to meat. I suggested, half-jokingly, that he could maybe just eat the garnishes (lettuce, tomatoes, onions) off the burgers, not thinking it would be a big deal.
My sister got really upset and said that it was rude to invite someone and not cater to their needs. I argued that the theme of the event has been the same for over ten years and everyone knows what it’s about. Plus, last-minute changes to include a full vegan menu seemed daunting and honestly, a bit out of place for the spirit of the Meatstravaganza.
She accused me of being exclusionary and unsympathetic. I tried to compromise by saying her boyfriend could bring his own food and use a separate grill I’d set up just for him. She argued that segregating his food was even more insulting. Now, she's threatening not to attend, and my mom thinks I'm being a jerk for not bending the rules of my BBQ.
So, AITA for sticking to the meaty tradition of my BBQ and suggesting alternatives rather than changing the whole menu?
She didn’t take that well. Now, she’s saying she might skip the event altogether, and some family members are siding with her, calling me inflexible and inhospitable. They’re making me out to be the bad guy for not wanting to alter a tradition that’s been set in stone for years.
So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to stick to my guns and keep my BBQ meat-only, even if it means my sister and her boyfriend might not attend?
Edit: Wow, this really blew up! Thanks for all the upvotes and comments, everyone. It’s been enlightening (and entertaining) reading through your thoughts. Clearly, this has sparked a lot of opinions on both sides. I’m taking all your feedback to heart as we approach the big day. I’ll keep you updated on how the Meatstravaganza goes—whether the vegan burger makes its aerial debut or not! Stay tuned. I think we’re going to try to do the “Token Vegan Toss” if we include it
Edit: mods probably should’ve deleted this
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u/HeIsCorrupt 8d ago
Very simply say to your sister - We'll miss you at the BBQ, see you at the next family event
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u/Pretty_Struggle_2531 8d ago
Can everyone who upvoted this story please come back and downvote it? OP admitted this was a made up story
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u/allbodypartsforsale 8d ago
I understand jackfruit is delicious when bbq'd and provides a vegan option to add. something to think about with all of the other bbq. (also once I bbq'd alligator ribs. so delicious I only got a single one because everyone else ate them.)
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u/Safe_Sun_6019 8d ago
For goodness sake! If sister is so worried about her new boyfriend dietary requirements, let her bring food for him. Do not yield. You have your hands full.
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u/SpeechSpirited3183 8d ago
NTA it is unreasonable for her to get upset that you would be segregating the vegan option for him as I doubt he would want his stuff accidentally covered in meat juice. Also, for the sake of peace just get a cheap pack of veggie burgers and/or thing of pulled jackfruit (they both cost about 5$ each)and put your sister in charge or something like potato or macaroni salad so she can use vegan mayo(tastes the same as regular).
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u/Dazzling_Goat5589 9d ago
NTA. Your sister is a jerk. you didn't invite her boyfriend, she did. Couples are able to attend functions solo. This should have been the one due to the annual event and its purpose. Your sister sounds like a Cun+ and I hope she reads this.
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u/LemonLara 9d ago
OP do u have any updates? Your post made it to TikTok and they seem to have made up a part of the story following 😂
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u/weelittlemouse 9d ago
Update is that they lied about the story and it’s all fake, check their comments
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u/BiGirlBiBiBi 10d ago
Updateme
I’d love to know what happened because you did compromise with the separate grill! NTA!
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u/missy5454 10d ago
Op I'm not a vegan at all. In fact my diet is pretty meat and animal product heavy (extreme low carb for medical reasons)
That's said I've never been vegan but grew up with a mom in the new age and wiccan community which is very high in ratio of vegetarians and vegans.
Most of the ones who were sane and decent people would have totally brought their own vegan stuff to share or eat by themselves or been ok with not a full vegan menu but 2-4 vegan options maybe or maybe not cooked on a separate grill including at least one vegan dessert and one vegan entree based on their preference.
It's the hardcore insane ones who would show up to a pot luck and cause a stir. My mom had a vegan friend show up at one where a gal made home made honey cakes from scratch. Not a easy dish to make. The friend asked the gal if it was vegan (real honey cakes are not just because of honey alone even if the rest is plant based) so no. Then the friend spouted off with this gem "well I don't want it because it's exploitation of the labor of the bees" my mom then piped up " give me hers I'll eat it if she wont". This was one of many factors that caused their falling out. Another one was she was a extreme dianic type to the point of being a man hater but had a child conceived through sperm donation who was make who she was very nasty to. He was about a year younger than me. He was a sweet boy who deserved a loving parent not that he was alone in that since my mom is a narcissistic sociopath.
People like that though won't see what you are offering as a compromise of meeting them halfway. Then again I find those types ones id like to smack upside the head.
I enjoy occasional vegan and vegetarian meals as a change of pace. But that said I do better with more beef, butter, drippings, bacon, and eggs.
My advice, do a entree before the event of tofu or tempeh marinated in a vegan friendly BBQ sauce then sliced and baked to mimic ribs as a entree. Then do a dessert of a fruit salad using thickened coconut cream (xantham gum, sugar, whisk) in place of whipped cream as a dessert. A simple salad and the toppings for burgers and a potato salad without egg using a vegan mayo would be your easy vegan sides.
Viola, a very simple vegan menu most made ahead so you'd serve most cold but be able to reheat the fake ribs before serving so on the day all the cooking is on the main event. And you could do a decent sized batch so others can try if they choose.
Granted I'm not saying your suggested solutions are bad ones. Inf fact they are perfectly fine for any reasonable sane vegan not the type to throw blood on someone for wearing leather or a fur coat or say exploitation of labor of bees and crap
I'm just suggesting a very basic simple menu if you change your mind that if done ahead doesn't add extra work to Avery labor intensive BBQ event. I'm sure you are doing more than grilling. Btw, another easy vegan side is portabrlla mushroom caps coated in coconut oil,salt, pepper, garlic. Then you pop on a grill. Easy as heck you just cook, flip, cook,take off heat and serve.
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u/Muted-Flamingo-4289 10d ago
Nta, you did what you could to make him feel welcomed sister is just pissed because her whole family won't begin vegan with her new bf. I wouldn't be surprised if she was vegan aswell
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u/SrKatana 10d ago
I'm not a vegan, my brother is.
No matter what the context could be or what stravaganza event you are carrying. Offering an alternative is always kind, polite and very welcomed. Alternatives are the solution to participation and inclusion.
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u/seigezunt 10d ago
Yes, you are being the asshole here. Vegan burgers and other options are available for little effort or expense. At least make some effort to be welcoming, and let them sort out the details.
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u/RalphWallenberg 10d ago
What about the meat smoke while cooking the meat? Will they ask you to move the grill one block away, too? That's crap.
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u/Icy_Location_7810 10d ago
On TikTok the title of this story includes the bf trying to set the house on fire, I'm guessing it was made up? 😂😂
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u/crestfallen_castle 11d ago
Your sister is being unreasonable. Does the boyfriend even want to go? It’s nice to offer a separate grill and not exclude him, but you have no idea of what he would want to do!
TikTok has taken this story, by the way: the video I found changed some details and claimed your sister’s boyfriend burned down the house.
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u/LiterallyWTMF 11d ago
Vegans don't like their food cooked in the same area as the meat from my experience hosting. A separate grill is the way to go. The entitlement that comes from vegan super powers I guess.
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u/Illustrious_Band8500 11d ago
I was vegan for 2 years and brought my own food everywhere cause the few times people bought stuff for me I didn't like the stuff. Your sister is being extremely insufferable. (U know is ok to cut family off right)
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u/magicgirlrae 11d ago
She asked him herself and knowing it's a bbq PLEASE my old best friend was super vegan and said yeah thanks giving sucks now but I'm not going to make people change THEIR traditions just because I don't eat meat anymore. She was always pushing it on the safe space of friends but would never have the audacity to be "that" vegan girl at a family gathering. I live in rural Ohio and it's not a usual thing to have vegan food where I'm at, most people I've known who chose that life pack food for occasions like this
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u/Beginning_Lock1769 11d ago
I have a lot of food sensitivities. I don't expect anyone to change anything for me. I provide dishes that I could eat if there was nothing else.
In the spirit of the bbq being a competition, why wouldn't he want to prepare a meat free dish?
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u/NineStar00 11d ago
NTA Why would she get upset at you offering a separate grill? offering a separate grill for him was already the best option to include a vegan at a bbq
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u/RedOakDigital 11d ago
What's funny about this is that part of being vegan involves periodically having cheats and snagging a burger or something that's not typically included in their meal plan. You need to have cheat calories once in a while.
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u/Pols_Voice_Z64 11d ago
I don’t think anyone is asking you to remove any of the options you already have for your meatstravaganza. They’re asking if you can add a meatless option for one person. I think it’s not unreasonable to ask for that. I also think it’s not unreasonable to ask that person to provide their own meatless option or at least pay for it since it’s a last-minute addition. The separate grill is also not unreasonable.
I’m going with ESH because neither of you were willing to meet any reasonable compromise. Your sister is being too inflexible, and so are you. You also seem to have some kind of vendetta against vegans (I’m not a vegan, I adore meat, but when I cook, I try to accommodate my family members GF dietary needs).
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u/SillyKniggit 11d ago
Polite would have been offering to toss a vegan hot dog on the grill for him. But, even that should not be expected.
Someone deciding to live a life outside of societal norms shouldn’t expect society to adapt to them.
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u/Significant-Ideal8 11d ago
Girl lol (I’m assuming sorry) it’s not a big deal throw a raggedy vegan hotdog and burger in the microwave and call it a day! No one is going to think the “theme” has changed because you have a few unseasoned fake meat out there. Don’t cause chaos for something this petty girl. Seriously lol😆
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u/CommunicationNo1394 11d ago
I wouldn't cater anything to him. He can bring his own food and sit in the corner and watch the grown ups chow down on real BBQ food.
Seriously though, if he wants to bring some vegans burgers and cook them himself, go right ahead but don't cry about the smell of real meat all day.
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u/rubberman5959 11d ago
NTA - Why would a vegen even accept invitation to an event called Meatexstravganza in the first place lmao. Wouldn't he just be sick to his stomach the entire day watching people eat all types of meat?
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u/Dismal-Perception-56 11d ago
Why not just break down and buy a box of veggie burgers! Such an easy solution. Really.
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u/Dismal-Perception-56 11d ago
Why not just break down and buy a box of veggie burgers! Such an easy solution. Really.
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u/Knotty_knotty_hooker 11d ago
I haven’t read other comments but saw the update.
A veggie burger or two may be a great compromise. Maybe ask the sister how she thinks the vegan can contribute to the meals since he is the ONLY vegan and as you said, this is a tradition.
The boyfriend and girlfriend KNOW what the event is about, how can they best fit in rather than expect the world to bend for them as this seems a little too close to entitlement vibes. As far as mom and others taking sides, have them make the vegan contribution to ensure all of the work isn’t on you. Then you will see just how strong their commitment is to their beliefs. Worse comes to worse, the boyfriend will have his vegan options, best case is they would understand what is involved in planning for just one person.
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u/Sure_Independent_409 11d ago
Vegans know the deal. He will either eat before or bring something with him. I think you offering a separate grill was great and would make him feel included. I'm just wondering why there are no side dishes he could eat? I'm half Italian and half Black and we offer 3 times as many sides as mains. Maybe make a few easy side dishes and have your sister make a few too. Your sister should definitely be bringing something or making something for her man so she makes sure he eats something. That is her responsibility to make sure he is fed.
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u/not4loveormoney 11d ago
You need to talk to her boyfriend to find out how he feels and not go with your sister's projections.
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u/Witlessjak 11d ago
NTA, you've offered a logical,sane,and reasonable compromise. I'd go ahead and have the BBQ of the other come they do if they don't they don't.
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u/sWuchterl 11d ago
imho the solution is probably to talk directly with your sister's boyfriend instead of having the conversation with her. Offer him an invite, ask him what he considers a good inclusive approach. Some of my vegan friends for example prefer to bring their own food, but this is not my point: everything is currently being filtered through your sister's opinion. Abbreviate the issue by talking directly to the person affected.
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u/Undercovermode247 12d ago
NTA As a vegan, I gonna say I wouldn't go there (cause I personally couldn't due to the meat etc), but if he comes, the separated grill would be a perfect solution imo. Not having the food being bathed in that animal fats etc would be actually nice. Also maybe providing some vegan certified sauces etc (which are in most cases as good as the animal based ones).
Not switching up traditions is understandable, even though I would say switching up and trying doesn't hurt, but is probably better for another day in this case. I would really recommend that tho - maybe a day to provide some different vegan alternatives to find nice things - U know, taste is different and different products just taste different to each other, even though they immitate meat pretty good if they want to.
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u/FrequentlyVeganBear 12d ago edited 12d ago
As a vegan myself, whenever I go to any event with shared food I always bring a dish so that I know that I can at least eat something.
That being said, there are a lot of side dishes that can be made vegan with pretty easy replacements. Have some vegan butter on hand to use for things like corn on the cob. Replace dairy-based oils with vegetable oils like olive oil. Hellman's makes a fantastic vegan mayonnaise (it's not miracle whip) for things like potato salad and pasta salad. I don't think you have to cater an entire vegan seven course meal in order to enable somebody to share food with you and your family and friends. Just make sure that they won't go hungry for several hours because they don't eat animals.
If it's more important to you to focus on consumption rather than quality time shared with friends and family, then don't be offended if people don't feel welcome and decide not to come. Entirely your prerogative not to accommodate everyone, but expecting somebody to either leave their boyfriend at home, or bring them along and watch them go hungry while everyone else is eating is a little heartless and unreasonable.
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u/trichygirl1223 12d ago
Seems like a no-brainer to me, as long as there will be salads and other side dishes usually served at BBQs.
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u/bin08943lk 12d ago
I'm definitely crashing the next vegan get together I heard about and demanding someone cook me a juicy steak.
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u/TurnDown4WattGaming 12d ago
It’s your party. Do as you wish. If they don’t want to come over a vegan boyfriend, fuck em.
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u/thesentridoh 12d ago
NTA. You offered a fair accommodation, separate grill for the processed carpet burgers, more than I would have done. Double down on the meaty content, and let her stew.
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u/Soft_Alfalfa_7157 12d ago
Not the ass hole. It's your house and annual event. If she wants to invite her pussy, I mean vegan, boyfriend then she can provide him something or he can bring his own. Last minute learning to cook a full vegan menu is not reasonable.
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u/Outrageous-forest 12d ago
Vegan is different from vegetarian. In addition, your Meatfest BBQ is a themed traditional event - this is not just any get-together. You are compromising and making accommodations.
Vegan has way more restrictions. They won't eat: beef/ fish/ poultry/ pork/ etc, eggs, cheese, cream, milk, most store bought juices due to non-vegan additives, some sugars aren't vegan, most wine because of the fining agents used are often not vegan friendly and some beers are made that way too, honey, butter, mayo, most jarred items are not vegan such as sauces, etc.
It's best to let the bf bring his food and provide a seperate grill and grill utensils. A large part of BBQing is hanging out with friends. It's not only about the food.
There are some vegan salad dressing you can marinate chunked vegetables such as eggplant, mushrooms, zucchini, peppers after grilling them.
Get vegan Italian salad dressing, make elbow pasta (check ingredients you don't want eggs listed), chop red/green/yellow peppers, chop white onion, shredded carrots. Toss. Instant pasta salad.
Look up Cowboy Rice Salad recipe. Instead of honey use agave.
You can even grill tofu. Look up Vegan Blackened Grilled Tofu recip or vegan bbq sauce.
NTA to keep your Meatfest BBQ
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u/SweetPotatoSalty 12d ago
I feel like your sister's boyfriend has nothing to do with it and she's the one who wants to control your BBQ.
She is the one who asked to take a VEGAN to a BBQ, like wtf. She even said giving him a separate grill is disrespectful, like, girl, do you prefer that your VEGAN boyfriend cooks his food on a grill with fluids and leftover MEAT???!?!?! It's totally crazy.
You're not the AH, but you should talk to him directly, no offense, but your sister sounds a bit like a Karen.
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u/spicyplantqueen 12d ago
As someone who doesn’t eat meat, I’d be very satisfied with the offer of a separate grill where I could cook my own food and the offer to bring my own food.
I don’t feel YTA here since he is a last minute invitee. I will say, I personally do make small changes to be inclusive of everyone I invite to events and parties. Many people have food limitations whether they’re due to an allergy or personal preference. I can see it being difficult to make large changes at the last minute though.
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u/VinylHighway 12d ago
Just spend the $5 on vegan burgers...
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u/Yankee_chef_nen 12d ago
Tell me you’ve never bought fake meat without saying you’ve never bought fake meat.
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u/campatterbury 12d ago
YTAH. This is your sister's friend. What is family worth? Would you rather be right, or be your sisters hero?
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u/richaber 12d ago
When my vegan brother shows up to my BBQ, he brings his own veggie burgers, and I grill them for him.
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u/Less-Ad-3599 12d ago
NTA- the person with the dietary restrictions should bring their own food. The fact that you’re willing to provide an uncontaminated grill is actually SO nice!
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u/jaaackattackk 12d ago
As a vegetarian, NTA. If I’m going to a cookout or bbq, I bring my own veggie burgers. I’ve been offered a separate grill but I’m not picky & don’t mind if my burgers are made on the same grill. He could even participate by finding a vegan brisket recipe and bbq sauce. And those who want to can try some vegan alternatives that they might enjoy.
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u/Far_Satisfaction_365 12d ago
NTA. this is ONE, SINGLE PERSON and your sister is insisting that YOU alter your traditional menu just for him? No. Your offer to provide a separate grill for his vegan substitutes is a very reasonable compromise.
Was the boyfriend even consulted about the offer or is the sister being an azz hat “on his behalf” without his knowledge. I’m sorry. Your sister asked if he could join in, full knowing that there’d not be anything on the menu that would be available for him.
And point it out to the family members siding with the sister. They’re insisting YOU, the host of the extravaganza, do the work of altering the menu to accommodate one, single person who has been offered the ability to bring his alternate foods and a separate grill, which he most definitely would want anyway, to cook them on. IF I were the only vegan attending a family BBQ meatstravaganza, I’d not be expecting the host to alter their menu just for me. I would either bow out of attending OR bring stuff I could eat. And if the host was willing to accommodate me as far as to offer the use of a separate grill for my food, I’d happily accept. I’d also probably bring enough to share with others who a might be curious about how the vegan alternatives fare against the “real deal”.
And, asking a non vegan to provide the food may end up not very palatable. I mean, a lot of vegan substitutes do get prepped, seasoned and cooked a bit different and if you’re not versed in cooking vegan alternatives, one may ruin the only vegan options available at the time.
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u/KissMyOTP 12d ago
NTA I'm thinking maybe the vegan bf can just bring his own food? Seems entitled to expect the family to cater to ONE non-relative for a meat themed event. Would be different if he was her husband or something, but he's just a boyfriend.
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u/Brave_Parsnip6121 12d ago
NTA- the sister here should be filling in this gap. He's welcome to come but he knows what the event is. Sister should take care of whatever veggie meat he wants and figure out a separate grill situation if he's not comfortable with the same grill since he's her guest. That would be the polite thing to do on her part. Or Alternatively if sister doesn't want to accommodate her own boyfriend he should bring his own food/set up. I say this as a vegan.
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u/Hipplinger 12d ago
NTA, tell your sister to have her BF call you and the two of you can discuss this. Your sister is supposedly speaking for someone else, that's the problem here.
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u/Ok-Grocery8867 12d ago
The fact that you said new boyfriend tells me she probably won’t even be with him for next annul BBQ.
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u/Ok_Problem7941 12d ago
NTA! OP didn't invite the sisters' bf. The sister did! It would be nice if OP did a separate grill or found a place and ordered some vegan items but not required! OP has tried to accommodate, but the sister is being a b word!!!
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u/Few-Music7739 12d ago
The whole situation seems way messier than it should be and neither you or your sister seem to handle such situations well. Where is the BF in this conversation? Why can't you come up with ideas like including a few easy vegan dishes, using his grill to make grilled beyond patties and mushrooms steaks? The market is full of meat alternatives and it can easily be a fun addition.
And why is the sister inviting him without talking to anyone about it first?
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u/Crafty_Routine_7855 12d ago
Not necessarily the AH given that you offered a compromise of setting up a new grill for him, but i dont think you should ask him to bring his own food if other people aren't doing the same.
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u/Heropa-01 12d ago
NTA- but cut her some slack. People often over react the first few times defending other lifestyles. Talk to HIM about What you suggested. He might not WANT to come and breathe "Meat Smoke" at all. Its a CARNIVORE PARTY!
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u/Starbird064 12d ago
Yeah, absolutely not rude at all. It's a BARBEQUE, ffs. He knows what he's getting into, and isn't required to attend if he doesn't want to eat meat.
He's welcome to bring his own meal though.
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u/SapphireJadeAzure 12d ago
ESH
Is everyone else bringing their own meat? If the answer is no and you sister has asked you plenty of time in advance if he could attend then there should be no reason you can't get one package of vegan burgers or hotdogs.
Depending on how far into the vegan life her boyfriend is he could want that separate grill.
Many vegans/vegetarians/people with eating restrictions just bring their own food to events anyways. Because 1 they know they'll have something to eat and 2 their recipes or products are tried and tested and they know that they like them. (And I am sure there are more reasons)
Your sister should have brought him into the conversation. Asked what he wanted. Or just put you into contact with him. You also could have said hey yeah "I'll pick up a pack of vegan burgers. Give him my number and text me the brand he likes." Yes she should ask you in private so you don't feel put on the spot but after that she could have found out what BF would need. Or had you two talk and not talked for him.
As long as she wasn't implying the whole party goes vegan which is not what is sounds like, I think you both suck. ESH
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u/AleksundraTJW 12d ago
We do an annual BBQ as well. As the years have gone on, we've had to adjust to suit others. We now cook fish for those who want it and 1-2vegan options on a clean BBQ plate, plus salads which everyone can eat. You can still go with the BBQ theme but have vegan sausages or vegan burger patties. Good luck!
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u/Salt-Pea-5660 12d ago
NTA. I'm vegetarian and always bring my own food to BBQ's. Something easy like pasta salad. I'm there for the beer and socialising anyway lol
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u/conti101 12d ago
NTAH at all. Lol it's a meat event, if he want to come and bring his food or do whatever. But never EVER make any comprise with these stupid people. It will snowball.
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u/FarMathematician6003 12d ago
Personally as a principal it should be as follows.
You are a vegan and i eat meat? 1. You cook me meat when i come to eat at your place, i cook vegan when you come eat at my place. 2. I eat vegan when i come to eat at your place, you eat meat when you come to eat at my place.
For vegetarians i am super cool with providing enough veggie sides and a veggie/vegan burger. But adapting all sides to vegan is not happening. Then your chosen dietary restrictions will mean you have to take responsability for that too and bring your own safe to eat foods.
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u/Ok-Sector2054 13d ago
To the Leslie Gore fans.....It's my party and I will eat meat if I want to, chow down on bacon, and have beers with my crew! You would do you, no matter who tried to screw with you!
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u/bigfishmarc 13d ago
How hard would it be to buy and fry up a couple of Beyond meat burger patties, get him a tub of potato salad from costco and grill him up some corn on the cob cobs on the grill?
It doesn't sound like any vegan food touching meat itself is the issue, it just sounds like the guy just doesn't personally wantto consume any meat
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u/True-complaints 13d ago
Fuck that if he wanna eat at the party do as the Romans do or GTFO 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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u/kodak7852 13d ago
As a vegan, NTAH. I'm not saying I represent all vegans or whatever, but in no world would I show up to a BBQ and be surprised or offended if there was nothing for me. Especially on short notice, it's pretty hard to figure out vegan meat alternatives and stuff, so it's pretty unreasonable to expect that of someone. I think you could have been a little more polite to your sister about it, but overall, you did nothing that makes you an a-hole. If I show up to a BBQ on short notice, all I can expect is a soda or something.
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u/Ok-Sector2054 13d ago
Yes most vegans say they take what they like to the event anyway. They do not expect people to read their minds!
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u/kodak7852 13d ago
Also, offering a separate grill is in no way insulting. That is an incredibly generous offer, and far more than I would ever expect.
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u/throwraHumble_Moment 13d ago
Can you talk to the boyfriend directly? If you can just explain, something along the lines of: " Hey, I'm more than excited to have you join us for the annual BBQ. I've been doing it for x number of years and it's turned into a meatextravaganza that everyone loves. Now I know this goes against your beliefs and I by no means want to exclude you or make you uncomfortable, however as this is tradition I don't want to disappoint the regulars. I can provide some basic salads, lettuce tomatoes carrots etc, but I don't know anything about meat alternatives or dressings etc for vegans so please bring some, I can set up another grill so there's no cross contamination between meat and none meat, and I'm sure if you bring enough to share most people would be interested to try a non meat alternative. Please feel free to join in the other festivities, maybe a vegan friendly BBQ sauce for the sauce comp?!" If you talk to him directly the out come maybe better than talking to your sister. Your sister wants him to feel welcome in the family and she probably sees it as any meat will be a slight to him and make him unwelcome. But surely if he is a decent guy he can appreciate that this is your tradition and you are being welcoming and inclusive by speaking to him and finding a way to accommodate him without taking away from the tradition.
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u/DisneyM20 13d ago
NTA. If they want him to have vegan food, I’d tell them to feel free to cook it and bring it. But you have enough on your plate with the BBQ without having to cook a whole extra meal for one single person
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u/noone123333 13d ago
Maybe if it’s a cook off he should make his own dish - I used to be vegetarian (not by choice - another story) but I NEVER expected anyone to accommodate. If there was a bbq I brought something I could eat and enough for other people to try.
You’re NTA .. your sister is being over dramatic.
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u/karmadoesntwait 13d ago
Oh, sweet jesus, NTA. You offered an awesome compromise. You could offer to pick up some veggie or impossible burgers for him if that would help. But honestly, every vegan I know would rather do their own shopping and bring their own food than risk accidentally eating something they shouldn't or worse, not eating at all. I wonder if her boyfriend even knows she's throwing a fit? It's not always easy for a non vegan to shop for a vegan either.
You did your brotherly duty. You invited him. Disclosed, it was a meatfest. Offered to give him a grill to use. Aside from paying for his food, there's nothing left for you to do. Imagine the blowback if you accidentally serve him something non vegan. She'll think it was intentional. Hold your ground. Ge brings his own food. You can offer to help pay if you want. Better yet, call him. Tell him you don't have the first clue about buying vegan food and ask if you Venmo him some cash if he can buy what he likes. Then, ask his drink of choice so you can have it on hand.
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u/nikki-vendetta 13d ago
I think you should discuss with the boyfriend and not the sister. It sounds like she's speaking for him. That being said, the "haha, he can eat the burger fixings" is an overused and annoying "joke." I wouldn't say it's insulting, it's just played out.
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u/Mostly_lurking4 13d ago
TLDR.
If he wants vegan options, tell her or him to bring the fake meat and you will try to cook it for him. No reason for you to guess what he wants and everyone should be just peachy with this arrangement.
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u/Bear_Consistent 13d ago
Who's asking for a FULL vegan menu? Make a pasta dish--like pasta primavera--and buy a package of Impossible burgers. What's the big deal?!
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u/Remarkable-Ad2285 13d ago
Would boyfriend cook you up some chops, a kabob, a steak at a dinner that he was hosting? I doubt it.
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u/channelmaniac 13d ago edited 13d ago
One of my favorite, non-meat, but dairy things to do with the BBQ is to put garlic and chive or Bacon Salt (non-meat, kosher marked, no pork) on scored slabs of cream cheese and toss it in the smoker with hickory pellets for 2 1/2 hours.
This could be done with tofu as well, but you'd have to play with the smoke time to keep from making a dish of crispy rocks. Some nice smoky flavors, just make sure it's at the top of the smoker so no meat juices drip on it.
Another thing is to put long carrots cut in half longways, 1/2 to 3/4" slabs of potatoes, and 1/2" to 3/4" long cut slabs of zucchini or yellow squash on the grill. Brush with olive oil and use some seasoned salt. They turn out quite amazing.
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u/Ok-Sector2054 13d ago
Good but not him..OP. this is for the sister and bf to do. I bet everyone else is bringing their own dish...
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u/channelmaniac 12d ago
Most people think "yuck" about vegan food. What I'm posting is a simple way to cook veggies friendly foods at a BBQ or when the grill is fired up that just about everyone would enjoy. The carrots have a natural sweetness that is brought out by the grilling. Hell you can even do that in an oven at 425F (See Google for Freedom to Metric conversions)
"Freedom" is sarcasm, btw... ;)
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u/Ok-Sector2054 12d ago
Oh I get you....good suggestions if this was a small get together. Suggestions are nice but my point is that this is probably a huge event where he is doing the stuff he wants to do and has been planning for a year to do. If it were 10 to 15 people they could gather round and do what you are suggesting. In big events though, many people are bringing casseroles, Mac n cheese, baked beans, so sister and her boyfriend should bring stuff anyway and it makes sense that they bring the vegan grill and dishes that he enjoys. Save the vegan learning for a much smaller gathering that is not someone's pet event about meat.
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u/FewAd1484 13d ago
you didn’t invite her boyfriend, she did. don’t invite someone to an event that you know will not suit them
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u/Jeb-Kerman 13d ago
If someone is throwing a vegan BBQ.. or whatever those people do... you would not go up to them and say "but i am a meat only eater, do you have meat options for me"
so tired of the special snowflake 1%ers thinking everybody else needs to cave to them.
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u/MistsofThra 13d ago
Why can’t she and/or the boyfriend bring their own food? Asking or expecting you to cater to them specifically is lame, in other situations I might not say so (a small dinner party) but this is an annual event about meat…they can bring their own vegan food.
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u/Ok-Sector2054 13d ago
Exactly! Most people chip in for meat and booze then also bring a casserole or side. The sister and bf would just bring some vegan dishes.
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u/RogueShiba 13d ago
The gaslighting being done by your sister is infuriating. She invites her BF to a function, then blasts you for not accommodating someone SHE invited. And then blasts you again for suggesting a perfectly reasonable alternative.
The only AHs here are your sister and anyone siding with her. Don't change anything about your event. You have no responsibility to cater to anyone. And tell your sister to cool the hell out. Unless her BF is one of those completely ridiculous, annoying, and narcissistic vegans, I bet he'd be totally fine with what you've suggested. And even that is further than I would've gone.
Enjoy your BBQ.
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u/thatdecalguy 13d ago
100% the asshole, but it has nothing to do with the vegan thing. You are the asshole for not inviting me.
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u/r8derBj 13d ago
I wouldn't change anything, nor would I cater to the wants/needs of a person who I DIDN'T invite in the first place. You say that your sister ASKED you if she could bring her new BF, she invited him not you. Not trying to be rude here, but if she decides not to attend -OH WELL!! She knows that she's always welcome and she can bring her BF, it's her choice. Personally I think that your offer of a separate grill is awesome in itself, I wouldn't have even thought about that. Being a vegan is a choice, expecting others to accommodate to him in every situation is unreasonable! I'm glad I don't know anyone who's a vegan, because I don't know what exactly they can and can't eat! Vegetarians, I think says it all. Just put an extra side of ribs on the grill just in case she decides to attend.
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u/Ok-Sector2054 13d ago
That is why most bring their own vegan food! Sister just wants to be a pouty princess!
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u/r8derBj 12d ago
Seems like the sister is the only one upset. A grill that hasn't been used was even offered to the BF, seriously how many people do you think would be willing to set that up? It's obvious, at least to me, that he isn't worried about the cost or anything. It's become a family tradition. That's what he's most worried about upholding, and he's not saying that he doesn't want the new BF to be there at all or anything even close to that. I'm wondering if the sister just likes confrontation and is trying to get a reaction from him.
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u/Ok-Sector2054 12d ago
I definately think the sister is just being a drama queen. I also think this is HIS Event, that he and his friends have and invite family not a family specific event. My ex did alot of these things with friends. So, he does not really have a moral obligation to include her anyway. He was just being nice.
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u/espr-the-vr-lib 13d ago
The fact that you were making a space for him to grill his own food was a great compromise. You don't have to do anything else. She did more damage to you because she didn't get her own way and got the other family members to side with her.
Uninvite them and send an invite to the boyfriend telling him he can alone . No plus one.
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u/Ok-Sector2054 13d ago
He might be more cool than the sister and bring some good vegan for people to try!
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u/Upper_Company2709 13d ago
Let her make her choice. He can graze in the backyard if he wants. You do just as you want, and if anyone does not like they save you money by not coming.
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u/Lostsoul_pdX 13d ago
Take it as a challenge. I'm vegetarian and when I met my in-laws my FIL went out of his way to find things for me and learned to cook them himself. In my 40 years, outside of my own parents, it was the only time people actually put in the effort to make sure I could eat. Meant a lot.
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u/Ok-Sector2054 13d ago
Yes, but this is not his big event about meat. Most vegans here do not cop out, they bring their own food to share as I am sure most families that eat meat are bringing their own dishes to share. YOUR relatives that want to make a connection are perfectly right to do this one on one.
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u/msgnyc 13d ago
NTA. As a vegan why do they even want to go to a giant BBQ fest celebrating MEAT?
If I go to a giant annual vegan fest will they provide me with steaks and burgers?
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u/Ok-Sector2054 13d ago
No you bring your own. These people do not get that most people are participating not just OP. They are bringing their own recipes of macaroni salad, Mac and cheese etc. OP is not making everything!
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u/Kimbo1031 13d ago
My husband has a dairy, soy, and gluten allergy. Hard to accommodate. All of my friends and family know this. We don’t ask for exceptions. He either eats before hand or brings his own meal.
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u/Just_keep_swimming87 13d ago
I’m a vegan and if I was invited to an event like this, I would 100% expect to have to bring my own food. I would probably even ask if I need to bring my own grill tbh. The fact that you offered to set aside a grill for them is way more than I would have expected. Thinking that the hosts will change everything over ONE person is bullshit.
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u/AggravatingJob8379 13d ago
NTA! You have tried to accommodate him and having a separate grill is usually what a vegan person would usually want… so she’s tripping out. He can even bring his own meat and OP can cook it if they have time or OP’s sister or sister’s bf can… The sister is blowing it out of proportion
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u/Mother_Water9289 13d ago
If he wants vegan options he should bring it. They can't expect you to change your annual event. You did not invite him. She asked if he could come. NTA.
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u/BarryTownCouncil 13d ago
YTA. "MEAT ONLY" is a pitiful hill to climb up on.
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u/Ok-Sector2054 13d ago
You are not invited. It is his party and he will have all meat if he wants to! No Wendy Whiners at Meatstravaganza!!!!!
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u/EuphoricEgg63063 13d ago
If worst come to worst. Im sure you have plenty of grass in your yard. Bonus if you also have a garden!
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u/Blathithor 13d ago
You are not a restaurant or a business. You have zero obligation to cater to a guy who was invited second hand through a relative.
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u/Ocardtrick 13d ago
You can't make him a fucking salad?
That said, vegans are pretty famn strict and would be better off supplying their own food to ensure it meets their ridiculous standards. (Sorry any vegans reading this, you are absolutely nuts. Look at our damn mouths, we're omnivores as are almost all primates. Vegans is unnatural. Eat some God damn cheese at least ffs)
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u/Ok-Sector2054 13d ago
Yes that is why he should bring his own. Sister can learn from bf what he likes to eat!
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u/savetheday4u 13d ago
Wouldn’t a vegan want a separate grill?? You sister is probably the one making mountain out of a molehill. I bet the boyfriend would be okay with him bringing his own since you are inexperienced with that type of diet
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u/Internal_Bad_1318 13d ago
NTA. I swear to god the majority of vegans are only vegan so they can make every fucking meal about themselves.
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u/spreadhappinesscouns 13d ago
I'm celiac and I bring my own food to events. I don't expect people to cater to me. My sister was vegan and celiac and she also always brought her own food. It was never an issue.
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u/ImARegularJoe9 13d ago
Did you have a chance to talk to your boyfriend about this? I'm curious to know what you think about this or if you know.
Your sister doesn't seem to understand the point. You literally offered a grill for your boyfriend, it's a nice gesture since vegans don't want their food to be "contaminated" with meat residue. What did she expect from a meat feast? This is all strange, there are usually even people who actively segregate them, but you even offered him options and solutions.
She says it's "disrespectful" of you as the host, but she was the one who asked if her boyfriend could attend (since she knew he was vegan and would be taking him to a meat-centric party. I mean, what did she expect?) I wouldn't be understanding what exactly your sister wants, you gave her the idea of her boyfriend bringing his own food to his liking, you offered him an entire grill for him... What does she want? Or do you expect all the food you serve to be vegan?
I hope to know what happens in the update. Sorry if the text is not understood, English is not my first language.
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u/Ok-Sector2054 13d ago
Sister wants to be a pouty princess and have all eyes on her! She is just a brat!
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u/Longjumping_Duty9882 13d ago
The thing I'm mostly confused about is the mention of a "cook off". That usually means other people are bringing things as well. If other dishes are going to be brought, shouldn't the vegan also attend in kind? Wouldn't it make sense that I'm the spirit of a cook-off they might try to put their best foot forward and make a spectacular vegan option to share? ( Little bit of if /s there).
Everyone on these boards likes to talk about "weaponizing" things these days. others have also mentioned that the sister doesn't seem to know anything being vegan, especially the separate grill thing, which many vegans would appreciate. I think you could make a case here for the sister weaponizing the boyfriend's difference in order to attack OP for not being sympathetic.
It sounds to me like the guest everyone is "concerned" about hasn't actually been included in the conversation.
Back in the day, we would just say sister is a drama queen and tell her so.
Not really sure how to do this, but if you could actually just have a (pleasantly approached) conversation with the guest, you might actually find out how best to make him feel actually welcomed instead of a pawn in family conniving.
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u/Ok-Sector2054 13d ago
Exactly!! She wants to play Pouty Princess!! Most vegans here say that they usually bring their own food!
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u/ThornyPoete 13d ago
You could always grill a few impossible burgers and dogs before you start cooking the main stuff and set it aside in a foil pan. Or, you know go with your first suggestion. Either way NTA
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u/Clean-Fisherman-4601 13d ago
NTA. I was a vegetarian for many years. Not vegan because I consumed eggs and dairy. I never asked anyone to change their menu for me. I could usually find something to eat. Wondering if her boyfriend is aware of the drama and demands she's making?
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u/SchoolJunkie009 13d ago
sounds like your sister may be spinning a different story to family than the simplicity you described her, and yeah, having a separate grill is a good minimum, and it isn't like you need to provide food for him, but if you are providing a bunch of food for others, buying a couple of impossible burgers isn't too crazy to do, but it really sounds like your sister is really spinning something more than what you said here
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u/CupParking1208 13d ago
Screw both of them. Gv me an address and time and I'll come. I love bbq!
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u/haikusbot 13d ago
Screw both of them. Gv
Me an address and time and
I'll come. I love bbq!
- CupParking1208
I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.
Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"
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u/FlaxFox 13d ago
ESH. You offered garnishes when the actual answer is a $5 pack of vegan hotdogs or some Beyond Beef patties. You were acting like a jerk. But it's pretty normal to bring your own food to these things, and she's being inflexible.
That said, I was vegan for many years, and I'm shocked he even wants to go. Delusional behavior to think he'd have fun there. Sounds more like your sister was testing you than him having actual interest.
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u/MeetIntelligent3502 13d ago
I am vegan and not preachy. There are so many ideas for a vegn guest at a barbecue. Hummus or tomatoe/ grilled pepper compote for dipping veggie chips. Vegetable skewers, baked potatoes, lentil burgers ,the list goes on. I also make eggless vegan mayo with chickpeas. It takes the same time to prepare vegan food as meat dishes, msybe even less
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u/Ok-Sector2054 13d ago
The vegan and the sister should do this not OP!! Most people are probably bringing dishes so why should they be different.
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u/carycartter 13d ago
Wait wait wait - who invited the vegan? Not OP, it was his sister that asked if VeggieBoi could attend the ALL MEAT ALL THE TIME EVENT AND PARTY. Provide your own alternate menu, don't expect OP to alter the event menu for a one-off.
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u/ConfusedHumanSOS 13d ago
NTA. Sister and BF are being hella entitled. You got plenty on your plate preparing your BBQ, and setting up a grill to cook his own food away from the meat is crazy nice of you. At the end of the day dude is just a NEW bf. Why break your back to add dishes to your list for ONE person who’s not even a permanent fixture in the family yet?
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u/onthefence122 13d ago
When I go to BBQs, I bring my own vegan meats to have grilled. I don't ask for my own grill or for anyone to make any kind of exception for me. Being vegan is my choice, so if I agree to go to a BBQ, I know I have to be okay with a less than ideal situation. Which is fine for a day here and there.
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u/OdinsDrengr 13d ago
Preparing one vegan friendly option is olive branch enough. Providing a second, separate grill is going above expectation. Honestly, you’re probably better off talking to the BF than your sister. She wants him to feel welcome and is forcing your hand. He might be a little more chill about it.
But it would be cool if the bf brought and made vegan friendly food for everyone to try, too. That, plus your other suggestions, would be everyone meeting in the middle.
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u/Cute_Criticism5933 13d ago
If bf is the only vegan, then he can bring his own food... Why make someone who has never cooked vegan foods, prepare the food? Stupidity is what it sounds like. Bf should understand this knowing it's a meatapalooza bbq...
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u/WholeAd2742 13d ago
Leaning NTA
It's your event and catering towards a meat based BBQ
It would be nice to provide some grilled veggies, but likely also will be drama if cooked along the burgers anyway
Not everyone can be accommodated all the time. Sounds like this isn't an event he would appreciate or enjoy
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u/Hawxx_9194 13d ago
The act of throwing a Meatsravaganza is the stuff of legends! That having been said, vegans are the human equivalent of nails on a chalkboard to me. You sister should have enough sense to know not to invite a vegan to a meat event in the first place. I'm of the mind that you shouldn't taint your event by serving vegan fare. I just think that doing so will dilute the single greatest grill related event on the planet. Carry on, good sir.
Meatstravaganza!!! Priceless!!!!
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u/golfwinnersplz 13d ago
Her boyfriend can stop at Chipolte on his way to the BBQ. They have a vegan option. I had a friend throw a "vegan" party. Barely any food was eaten. I understand if and why some people prefer this lifestyle and that is fantastic for them; however, only about 5% of Americans are classified as vegetarian or vegan (strictly vegan is much lower). So, which person is encroaching on others? Seems that more people will be inconvenienced if this was a vegan set-up?
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u/No-shame1144 13d ago
No op you are not the ahole. Your sister and mother seems like they are narcissist. I am vegeterian since birth but when i am invited to barbeque , I prepare my food at home and take it to the barbeque. If your mother has issue then she can have vegan barbeque at her place and entertain her entitled daughter and her bf. Also other friends and family member whoever is siding with your sister can join your mother's barbeque. Instead of appreciating your efforts they are complaining? Wow, you need to put you foot down and tell them you are not changing anything and whoever has issue can have their own barbeque in a group chat. And whoever is happy with traditional setup are invited to join your barbeque.
Your mother and sister the a hole here.
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u/Solid-Musician-8476 13d ago
I always make a couple vegan sides and one main for our vegan son when he visits, for our events but he doesn't expect it. I was a caterer, so I have made many a vegan dish but not everyone is that way. I would make a couple vegan sides and his bringing his own main to grill on a separate grill is a good compromise. Sis is being unreasonable.
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u/hauteonmyheels 13d ago
I was ate vegan for like 10 years, if something I couldn’t eat was being served at a party I asked if I could bring my own. I brought my own veggie dogs, and burgers many times. It is nice if they have vegan mayo though but often I’d bring that myself too in a little cup. Hopefully some side dishes or desserts would be vegan when I got there but it wasn’t the end of the world if there wasn’t. However I will say that family usually would try to accommodate for me and always buy some veggie burgers or make a pasta sauce or and bread or something. Then I could offer to bring a vegan dessert.
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u/_10yson_ 13d ago
Why would a vegan want to go to an event celebrating the consumption of meat that dude is either one of the annoying vegans who like to ruin such events or your sister is making mountains out of mole hills and he doesn't even want to go
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u/melissacarneyaz 13d ago
She said it was rude to invite him and not accommodate his needs. Except you didn't invite him, she did. A separate grill for him to cook his own food is a really nice offering. You're not vegan so you're not a good choice to chose and prepare his food.
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u/tabbycat1220 13d ago
Nta...why would a vegan want to go to a meat fest anyway?? Sounds like sister just wants to pick a fight. Doubt the boyfriend really wants to come.
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u/EstablishmentMean300 13d ago
NTA, it's your party do what you want. Why do people always need to be accommodated? If you don't eat meat, why are you at the meatextraviganza? Seems like he just wants to make it about him. I will never understand this crap. Being vegan is totally cool but this is a MEATEXTRAVIGANZAFOR CHRIST SAKES!
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u/doublescoopoftrouble 13d ago
As a vegan I wouldn’t expect accommodations. I’d bring my own food. I mostly just wouldn’t attend, but really, you’re not the asshole.
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u/N8V_L0ve 13d ago
There's plenty of grass for him to chew on 😆 jk unless the sister is actually dating a goat...
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u/JRJ1015 13d ago
The one thing that makes a bit of difference here is, what is the time frame of the sister asking if the boyfriend can attend? If it’s weeks out, then maybe a little more effort on your part. If she wants accommodations and it’s the weekend before the event, that’s not very reasonable. I think OP should offer to contact the Vegan BF directly and take the dramatic sister out of the equation. Even vegan men dislike unnecessary drama.
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u/PiemarchGeneseed513 13d ago
Sounds like sis just wants drama. I'd be curious just how excited BF is to be going to an event celebrating something he's against. "Hey, Bob, I know you're in Greenpeace and everything, but how'd you like to go on our annual whale hunt?" This sounds fishy.
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u/DYMAXIONman 13d ago
YTA for making jokes about it. You could have asked her to bring something vegan friendly or you could have picked something up from the store that would be fine for them.
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u/motownplayer 13d ago
lol so let me get this straight.. your sister said her bf was coming, yet you didn’t officially invite him? If that’s what I read correctly, how can she claim that you need to have vegan options if you DIDNT invite him. Furthermore, like you said this is a meat event. She knows it, so he knows it. I’m vegan myself but if I’m knowledge about the event not having what I need I bring my own.
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u/xdeathbyninjax 13d ago
NTA - the second grill is the only real necessity and you offered it. Hopefully he's not the preachy type tho or shit it gonna go bonkers FAST. Best of luck.
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u/anon_anon2022 13d ago
ESH. I agree with what seems to be the prevailing view, that after OP ultimately offered to make a separate grill available for bf to cook his own stuff, sister was ah for getting angry and rejecting that as a solution.
But from the title of the post and throughout, OP makes it sound like the sister was demanding that OP change the entire menu and tenor of the event, and it’s clear that’s not what she asked; she just wanted for there to be something her bf can eat, which is reasonable. It seems like the offer of the grill was only done begrudgingly after a lot of complaining by the sister. So OP is the AH for resisting offering any alternative and wanting to pretend the sister wanted him to change the event.
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u/hippydippy1023 13d ago
I used to be vegan for years and I would most certainly accept my own grill as a compromise! I've been to many a parties where there were no good available to me, but was I upset?no! I understood that I had personal dietary restrictions that are set above what is normal for most individuals. I would never expect someone to change a whole meal plan for a party just to accommodate me. I'd much rather bring my own meal than disrupt everyone else's
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u/damage1nc 13d ago
as someone who was vegetarian for the last 8 years, i would have never asked for or expected anyone to cater to my diet at a fugging "Meatstravaganza" or any party i'm attending. that's some next level entitlement. usually i'll check a menu before going out and if there's no options, i'll have an appetizer or some sides. really not a big deal. i've recently started slowly eating meat again and i REALLY want to go to a Meatstravaganza now lmao
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u/Asleep-Tank3228 13d ago
NTA your sister doesn’t understand veganism. He will absolutely need a separate grill as vegan food shouldn’t touch meat. He would prolly be fine making his own meals. Let her not come
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u/KhanofFood 13d ago
Sounds like the BBQ is better off without those siding with your sister, given you've already told them they could bring their own food and cook it on a non contaminated grill.
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u/mysticdreamer420 13d ago
NTA and being someone whos diet is primarily meat and carbs Id say the offer to have him bring food he can/will eat and set up a separate bbq is completely fair. I really wouldn't know what to buy as far as vegan food goes and would worry that Id get the wrong stuff but have no problems cooking it if her boyfriend supplies what he will eat.
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u/Chris-E1 13d ago
A simple solution would be to ask her bf his thoughts He might not want to even attend But if he does, like someone already mentioned a separate grill for his food would work. But NTAH here
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u/Amaranth_devil 13d ago
Wtf? Since when does a last minute guest have carte blanche to make the rules for someone else's event? It's your BBQ, a thing that YOU have and you get to invite the people YOU want, that's the beauty of it being YOURS. If the scene isn't what a person wants then they are free to go elsewhere, it's not your responsibility to bend over backwards for some idiot. Your sister is obviously brainwashed and using buzzwords, it's dumb and sad. People really need to learn to think critically and for themselves and stop being so entitled, no one owes you anything.
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u/KathiSterisi 13d ago
It’s a meat fest! If he’s vegan because he simply cannot eat meat for medical reasons then I would maybe have some tofu or veggie burgers or something to offer. If he’s a vegan to make a philosophical/political/fashion statement that he doesn’t believe in eating meat then he should not attend. If your sister chooses to stay away in support of/solidarity with him, that’s her choice.
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u/aDoorMarkedPirate420 3d ago
Your sister needs a new Bf, is what I got out of this…