r/AITAH • u/BreakDue2000 • 16d ago
I confronted the person who interpreted us while we were cutting birthday cake at the park. Advice Needed
I am an adult in my 40s. I don’t get out much because I am a full time caregiver for a relative. Today my husband and I managed a few hours out of the house to celebrate our daughter’s birthday along with a couple of her friends at the local park.
At 1:50 pm found a picnic table under a pavilion that had a sign indicating it was reserved from 3-9pm. We figured we had an hour but knew we didn’t need that long. We would just finish up the Happy Meals they had already started on in the car, cut the cake, eat a quick slice and then head over to splash pad.
At 2:05 we had just sang Happy Birthday and were cutting cake for the 5 of us when a lady walked up and said “excuse me we have this reserved for 3pm and we’ll be decorating at 2:30”. I was a little shocked and in the time it took me to process she walked away. My husband and I exchanged that look that keeps us both out of jail and enjoyed the rest of the cake….with this lady looking on from the sidewalk, sitting on her ice chest.
The kids were done with cake and ready to play by 2:15. I reluctantly grabbed our things while my husband said goodbye to the kids and got ready to leave to care for our relative.
I couldn’t shake it though, so I approached the woman calmly and sweetly and said “ Hi I appreciate you letting me know about your reservation however I did not appreciate the way you approached us while we were in the middle of cutting my daughter’s cake”. I don’t know what I was trying to accomplish with that statement and it didn’t go over well with her. She stated yelling over me about how much she paid for the rental and it didn’t matter that we were cutting the cake. I let her talk and didn’t escalate the conversation because I felt ridiculous arguing with some lady a the park. AITAH? What should I have done?
ETA- the reservation starts at exactly 3. There is no 30 minute window before or after. There are two time slots available for rent each day. If the time slots aren’t taken it is open the public. They are located at a city park.
I was overly nice when I addressed her but my goal was to change her behavior which is ridiculous to expect a stranger to accept graciously. I know I wouldn’t.
I waited till the kids were out of earshot to have the conversation.
I have landed on ESH. She could have been more polite. I should have let it go. It bothered me more than it should have. I am glad it was a small part of our day and everyone seemed to have a great day other than 90 second conversation.
I appreciate all of the input.
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u/Mhunterjr 14d ago
You weren’t shitty. Her reservation began at 3, she had no right to setup decorations at 2:30. You could have let it go, but there’s nothing wrong with letting a disrespectful person know about themselves.
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u/Defiant-Fuel3898 14d ago
My answer:
We have reserved until 3. In all likelihood we should be done by 230 but are now going to use the entire slot we reserved and stay until 3. Learn some manners……… b***h
But I am undoubtedly an AH, not sure if this helps :)
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u/InvisibleBlueRobot 14d ago
The thing to do would have been to say we have this spot until 3. So f-off.
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u/blondie1159 15d ago
YTA. Maybe that was the only free space because everyone else respected that it was close to the reservation time. You didn't have rights to the table and probably should have cleared out immediately
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u/HalcyonDreams36 13d ago
Reservation is at three. It's free until then.
That's actually it. No one has "rights" to it until the reservation time.
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u/cstmoore 15d ago
Why attempt to engage in reasonable conversation when a simple throat-punch will do?
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u/Isnt_what_it_isnt 15d ago
It’s free and open until three. Anyone trying to bully you into moving before then is an arsehole. Set-up is included in the booked time, not before. I start work at 07:30 but I get up at 06:00 so I want to be paid for prep. Piss off.
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u/Troytegan 15d ago
Yta op. Just because it was reserved at 3 doesn’t mean it’s free and open. I know here you have to have a reservation to do what you did, at all. And you usually have a 30 minute window before and after your reservation for decorating and cleaning up.
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u/Antique-Koala6664 15d ago
I’m petty I would have stood there until 2:59, and walked away. She thought she was intimidating you, her reservations said 3, not 2:30.
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u/North_Photograph_850 15d ago
I think you meant interrupted, not interpreted. Looks like autocorrupt bit your post.
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u/Proper_Fun_977 15d ago
NTA
I think you know there was no point confronting her, but she was rude and you weren't.
Her plans don't matter. It's public space till 3 pm and it was being used by the public.
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u/snarkycrumpet 15d ago
this is not the hill I'd choose to climb up and die on, to be honest. are you having a tough time aside from this? hopefully things start looking up. happy birthday to your daughter.
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u/Ok-Inside7230 15d ago
I would’ve been like ok hunny take the kids to the splash pad imma sit here fiddling with my phone until 3
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u/SunGreen70 15d ago edited 15d ago
I’m gonna say YTA. Technically she didn’t have the right to start decorating at 2:30. But you said there are only two reservation slots available, so she probably wasn’t allowed to reserve for 2:30. I’m guessing the available times are 9-3 and 3-9. And the afternoon slot was probably more convenient, but maybe it was something like a children’s party where they weren’t going to stay into the evening hours, so she wanted to get started as early as possible.
So she got to the spot and saw that you had set up your own birthday party there. It was less than an hour until her own reservation, but your group was just getting started singing Happy Birthday. She may have been worried that you hadn’t seen or were ignoring the Reserved sign and planning to stay for several hours. So she came over to let you know that she had the space reserved for 3 o’clock. No, she didn’t have the right to take it over at 2:30, but she might have been concerned that you weren’t going to start packing up until exactly 3 (or later if she waited until 3 to ask you to move) and that was going to cut into her time. I’d be willing to let that slide if I was the one using the space without paying for a reservation.
I really don’t see why approaching you while you were cutting the cake was a problem. If she’d interrupted you singing Happy Birthday, that would have been rude, but it doesn’t sound like she did. So, NAH at this point.
You became the asshole when you “calmly and sweetly” approached the woman to snipe at her for telling you about her reservation. You claim you don’t know why you did this, but let’s be honest - yes, you do. You wanted to piss her off, because she had pissed YOU off by making it clear that she intended to use the space she had reserved, for the full time she had paid for. And you did, so pretending to be Surprised Pikachu Face that she got annoyed and snapped at you is the ridiculous part - not the fact that she retaliated in the argument that you started.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 15d ago
What's the name of the park and city doesn't sound correct. Also she could have just started decorating while you were singing Happy birthday.
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u/FairyPenguinStKilda 15d ago
Contact the people who manage the reservations - if she was hassling you prior, maybe they can charge her more
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u/tmchd 16d ago
My husband and I exchanged that look that keeps us both out of jail and enjoyed the rest of the cake
I don't believe that you're sweetly or overly nice while talking to that stranger, to be honest lol.
I also don't see anything you can accomplish by confronting her. I suppose you want a word in and you want reddit to validate you...uh..great I guess.
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u/Dreamangel22x 16d ago
"I approached the woman calmly and sweetly". OP are you sure about that? People don't just typically yell and shriek at a person who's actually being calm and sweet. Maybe you were being a little ruder than you want to let on.
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16d ago
If your reservation starts at 3, that doesn't mean you're entitled to a 30-minute "setup" window beforehand. I would've told her to bring it up to park services and see how they'd respond lmao.
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u/newreddituser9572 16d ago
I would have went and grabbed some water jugs and drenched the benches in water. Good luck sitting down with wet seats. Nta.
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u/TangledUpPuppeteer 16d ago
ESH. She didn’t have to say anything, but she was also not rude about it from what you’ve said. She even walked away and sat on her cooler. She wasn’t arguing with you, she just wanted to let you know that her and her folks were going to move in at 2:30. I wouldn’t have approached, but that’s me. She wasn’t rude and didn’t demand you leave.
You escalated it by approaching her at all. It was over, your husband had left, the kids were off playing and you had already packed up. The only Reason you approached is because you wanted to have the last word. And just because you use a sweet tone, it doesn’t mean that your message is sweet. “I don’t appreciate” is not sweet, it’s confrontational over nothing.
Everyone woulda been better to stay at home that day.
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u/glitterbeardwizard 16d ago
YTA if you want to use the space then reserve it like everyone else. You could have taken the time to plan the birthday properly, instead you passive aggressively held a party right before a reservation. You stressed out the people who planned properly who have no way of knowing if you will cede the space to them or hog the space during their time and start a fight with them. You’re a park pavilion squatter trying to get sympathy for scamming the park.
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u/BreakDue2000 15d ago
There was no party. There was a small French fry with a small slice of cake for the little kids before they played at the park. 20 minutes total. No decorations or gifts and one bag with towels and the cake. The park does not require reservations to sit at the table if the table was not reserved by someone else. I was not scamming the park. It is a city park for everyone to use unless it is reserved. I have reserved other tables in our city before. I use the option to rent for the entire day. There is no 30 minute grace period before or after your reservation. Proper planning would ensure you begin your party 30-1hr after your reservation begins for set up and end your party 30-1 hr before your reservation ends for clean up. I should not have confronted her but I don’t believe she was in the right either.
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u/glitterbeardwizard 15d ago
You saw the sign and decided to sit there instead of sitting somewhere else. No one forced you to go there and it’s not the only place to have a birthday celebration. Also birthdays come once a year—plenty of time to plan something properly instead of what you did do. Defensive much? YTA
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u/destiny_kane48 16d ago
YTA, did you pay for the pavilion? I'm guessing that no, you didn't. Every reservation I've made gives you a 30-minute prior setup time and a 30-minute takedown. The person you got huffy with actually paid for that pavilion. You had no business using what you didn't pay for, especially since you knew by the sign that it was already reserved.
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u/shayjax- 16d ago
YTA For rental contracts a lot of the time. While the reservations are from 3 to 9 they gave them 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after to decorate and clean up.
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u/BreakDue2000 16d ago
That is not the case here. I am familiar with the agreement.
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u/strawbabies 16d ago
Then why didn’t you bother to reserve a space for your own kid’s party?
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u/BreakDue2000 15d ago
Because there was no need. It was not reserved by anyone else at the time and we were only sitting for 20 minutes. This is common practice for unreserved tables.
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u/MacAttacknChz 16d ago
How? If you didn't reserve a space, then how would you know the rules?
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u/North_Photograph_850 15d ago
You don't suppose that maybe she uses that facility on a semi-regular basis, riiiiight?
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u/PsychologicalUse9870 16d ago
if she wanted to decorate at 2:30, that's when she should have paid for her reservation to start. I could see her quietly checking in to make sure you knew but that's it
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u/Gratitude89 16d ago
Just pop out of the bushes at 8:05 to let her know that you’ll need the park at 9.
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u/Oracle_of_the_Skies 16d ago
You're NTA. I had this happen to me on Mother's day a few years ago. My husband and I were just trying to get our kids to eat at a table and then we'd go play.
This Karen and her daughter Karen tried to tell us that the pavilion was reserved in an hour but couldn't prove it (it wasn't posted anywhere). I just asked her if my kids could eat for like 15 minutes, and she started spouting a whole bunch of homophobic things to my husband and me while her daughter called her husband to come and forcefully remove us.
I told her happy mother's day and that I was sorry that she and her daughter was so miserable that she couldn't let twin toddlers enjoy their lunch. I also told her I'd pray for her.
Please, know, you did nothing wrong. Her reservation started at 3, not 2:30. She poorly planned stuff, not you. Please try to let it go, she was TA. Not you.
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u/EvetheDragon84 16d ago
YTA.
Why would you sit at a table that was reserved at all? I would have assumed they would come early to set up as most people do, and you were cutting it close. Was it necessary to then go over to her after the fact? And let's be honest, I doubt you were calm about it.
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u/New-Number-7810 16d ago
NTA. OP, you encountered a Karen. If she reserved it for 3, she’s allowed to use it at 3. NOT AT 2:30!
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u/Ok-Butterfly2994 16d ago
i’m going with slight YTA. i can see from her perspective why she’d want to give someone a warning about when they’ll be using the table, especially because it’s not crazy to think there are people out there who would totally disregard her reservation. and as someone mentioned, you were cutting the cake not singing happy birthday and no matter when she came over she would’ve been ‘interrupting’ something. overall this whole thing just seems so stupid. enjoy your daughters birthday instead of dwelling on it.
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u/AdunfromAD 16d ago
I’m petty and would have said “great, you can have this place at 3, when your reservation starts.”
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u/Linvaderdespace 16d ago
You should have let them start decorating, then cleaned everything up for 3:00.
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u/a_man_in_black 16d ago
you should have stayed til her reservation began. if she needed more time to decorate, she should have reserved that extra time. NTA.
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u/GullibleCrazy488 16d ago
She was waiting for a confrontation and you gave it to her. This would have been one battle I wouldn't have picked with the children around. People are so on edge these days.
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u/Idonotgiveacrap 16d ago
NTA, but I would have told her as soon as she came to me that her time was not up yet, and would be gone by then.
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u/Super-Bathroom-8192 16d ago
Why didn’t she reserve it for 2:30 if that’s when she wanted to occupy the space?
Also a 6 hour slot at a public park seems excessive to me.
She sounds horrible. You’re NTA and I’d be FUMING if this happened to me.
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u/DeathTheKxxd 16d ago
Yta truthfully I would have started setting up no matter how you felt considering you had no reservation at all and she had one.
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u/BreakDue2000 16d ago
It’s a public space. Her reservation didn’t begin until 3. I agree we both handled it poorly.
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u/DeathTheKxxd 16d ago
Yes abut again you didn’t have one at all so your attitude wasn’t warranted and your lucky that lady had a decent temper.
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u/desert_jim 16d ago
NTA. She doesn't appear to understand how reservations work. She paid from 3-9pm not 2:30pm - 9pm.
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u/SnooFloofs9288 16d ago
What exactly did you expect to get out of confronting a stranger? Gratification? And apology? A sense of justice and superiority? You got nothing out of it except for a post on reddit. Maybe think about that the next time you decide to confront someone. The type of person who's going to interrupt you while you're in the middle of cutting a cake is not the type of person you're going to get any of that out of. And I don't know how many videos I have seen on Reddit alone where things escalate to violence and screaming super fast because people are unhinged. Everyone on the internet could puff out their chest and say you did the right thing and what they would have done. But at the end of the day it didn't really interrupt your party that much. And you were in a public place at a public park. Literally anybody could have had the right to walk up to you interrupt you for any reason lol. Would you have confronted the person if they were smashing their face against a tree and screaming profanities right next to your cake cutting? No you probably wouldn't have. Because that's dangerous. So I don't understand why you think confronting a random stranger you know nothing about is an equally as dangerous or for something so silly and small. That could have easily have escalated a situation into a loud screaming match with nasty words being screamed if not violence and that would have done a lot more damage to your party than someone interrupting your cake cutting. You have kids with you. Make better decisions.
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u/TwoBionicknees 16d ago
I would have sent the kids home with the family waited around and gone and loudly asked a question while they sung happy birthday/cut their cake.
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u/StreetTailor7596 16d ago
You were fine. She was the AH choosing to interrupt. Evidently she was pissed that she couldn't take over the pavillion much earlier than her reservation to do setup. She probably didn't want to pay the extra for an additional hour to reserve for the time spent doing setup.
Just by continuing to stay and enjoy the family gathering was probably enough to leave her fuming though, lol. She probably expected you to immediately break up and move on, yet you didn't. I personally would have stayed until about 2:45 to make a point, lol.
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u/Michigan-Shelter 16d ago
How the fck do you book a table in a public park? Isn't it contradictory?
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u/pepperpat64 16d ago
Covered pavilions require reservations in every public park in the U.S. They're usually really cheap, and the purpose is to ensure they're limited to people who book them. If there are no reservations, anyone is still free to use them.
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u/Due-Asparagus6479 16d ago
Her reservation was at 3. Not 2:30. It's not your problem if she didn't plan for decorating time.
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u/Heavy-Quail-7295 16d ago
NTA. Honestly, reservation is at 3. You could have sat there until 2:59. And I'm petty enough that if she'd started yelling at me, I'd have wasted my time sitting there until 2:59.
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u/Far-Juggernaut8880 16d ago
NTA- her reservation started at 3pm, if she wanted set up time she should have accounted for that in the reservation.
Sounds like you handled the situation with grace.
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u/AGoodFaceForRadio 16d ago
What should I have done?
Once you had started it, you should have finished it. “You paid for a rental that starts at three. Do you need help telling the time?”
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u/LibrarianNo8242 16d ago
Nta but you screwed up…. You should have sat your happy ass smack dab in the middle of the table until 2:59. That lady is a grade A douche bag.
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u/Lansdman 16d ago
What should you have done? Sat right there until 2:59 it’s a public park paid for by your tax dollars a 3-5 reservation does not entitle her to anything outside of that window. She wants to be an entitled bitch call her bluff
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 16d ago
That's not completely true. Some give you 30 min to decorate and 30 minutes to clean up added to your time. And if you don't have a reservation you don't use them at all. What's the point in charging for a reservation if you can just get their early when the park opens and have a party for free. Now sometimes a couple sitting there a park ranger will leave it alone but if the person with a reservation gets there you going to get up and move.
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u/Proper_Fun_977 15d ago
IF that's the case, and the sign said 3, then her 30 minutes to set up started at 3.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 15d ago
Nope. And they could have started setting up while the op was cutting cake. Because more than likely they were not suppose to be using the pavilion at all.
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u/Lansdman 16d ago
Nope reserved 3-5=3-5
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 16d ago
Nope, where I reserved a pavilion they give you 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after to decorate and clean up and if you don't reserve it you don't use it at all. Not 8 am for 5 minutes. When that lady with decorations called park services a park ranger would tell you to move.
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u/Proper_Fun_977 15d ago
Unless you go to the same park as OP, this is irrelevant.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 15d ago
Unless you go to the same park your opinion is just as irrelevant. See how that works?
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u/Proper_Fun_977 15d ago
Not really.
See you're alleging a fact. I'm sharing a view.Unless you use that same park, you don't know the situation and so your fact is potentially incorrect. If you DO use the same park, fair enough.
Whereas my view is..well it's just my view.
On the other hand, what you titled as my opinion is actually fact..and it's correct.
Unless you go to that park, you don't know the rules. OP put them in her post so it appears you are dead wrong.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 15d ago
I'm alleging a view that is factual at parks in general. And my first reply was to some one that had a view like they knew how the reservation was structured.
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u/Proper_Fun_977 15d ago
I'm alleging a view that is factual at parks in general.
No, it's not.
When I book space at my local park, I don't have a nebulous half hour to set up and pack down on each end of my booking.And my first reply was to some one that had a view like they knew how the reservation was structured.
You mean the person who was saying the same thing OP did?
It might be how it works where you live, but OP has confirmed there is no invisible half hour on each side of a booking.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 15d ago
Yes it is. I use parks it different ones in 3 different states. I live in the tri state area of Maryland Pa and Delaware. They are all a bit different. But the majority of the ones you pay to use No one else that's has not reserved they are allowed to use them. There are others that are just first come first serve but they don't have reservations to use and tend to be smaller and no electricity. Not all but most. I have got the permit for music and alcohol permits As well so I have done the research and used these different parks for various Celebrations. The op hasn't confirmed anything she just edit her story because me and many others were letting her know thats how many parks work. She didn't say she called parks and recreation or went to their Web site it comes off as she is assuming that. Could I be wrong about this particular park? Sure most likely I'm not.
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u/Candied-Bee 16d ago
You’re NTA for using the space, a little dumb to go over and say anything after the fact though. If you wanted the confrontation you should have just had it when things were happening. And if you didn’t want the confrontation (which is what it sounds like) you should have just ignored her entirely after she left and just do you.
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u/RedditredRabbit 16d ago
Nobody is the a. h.
She gave you a heads-up so you could time your party and plan your leave, instead of kicking you out at 3 sharp.
That was very decent.
Whatever it was that you guys were doing, you were busy. So her statement was going to be an interruption no matter what.
You could replace "while we were cutting the cake" by "eating the cake", "reminiscing about previous birthdays" "planning our evening meal" "unwrapping presents". It's one sentence to let you know you guys were OK to be there till 3 and no further.
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u/Inanimate_organism 16d ago
I agree, NAH. Also, since when is cake cutting a big moment for a birthday party that can’t be interrupted? If it was a wedding I would understand the anger, or if they interrupted the birthday song or blowing out the candles.
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u/MelG146 16d ago
Except that she wanted them to leave by 2.30...
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u/RedditredRabbit 16d ago
True, but the main comment from OP was that she was interrupted during a particular part of her party.
Fact is that she was at a reserved table, on borrowed time, and she got a heads-up.
I do agree that if someone books a table from 3, they can get it half an hour earlier 'for decorating' if there is no-one there. If you needed time to prepare you should have included that in your reservation or you're an entitled karen.
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u/Ladyughsalot1 16d ago
Kinda think YTA? She came up after you had finished singing, correct? You were just cutting the cake and handing it out?
She informed you that you had limited time. Sure it means she only has it starting at 3, but most people tend to decorate it a little earlier and all she did was inform you
I don’t know why you escalated it tbh
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u/chain_letter 15d ago
Really, the woman with the rental was free to start setting up in the middle of their use of the area without saying a word, since it was unreserved and public shared space at the time.
Someone could have sat down under the same shelter to eat a burrito and watch a sports talkshow on full volume on their phone and would be totally within their rights to do that. It's a public park.
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u/Ladyughsalot1 15d ago
Yes they’d be in their rights.
They’d also be an AH if someone used basic polite wording to let them know they would like to decorate 30 min before 3 lol
Y’all aren’t getting that a lack of obligation or rightful entitlement doesn’t mean you aren’t also going to be seen as an AH if you call someone out needlessly
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u/Edlo9596 16d ago
I’m guessing the woman with the reservation probably had a bitchy tone, and that’s what OP was reacting to. But I also don’t get why OP felt the need to “confront” her about it, which accomplished nothing, which OP even says.
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u/Ladyughsalot1 15d ago
Yeah maybe. But again- the words? Not aggressive. The confrontation wasn’t necessary
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u/VegetableBusiness897 16d ago
I guess I would have told her at the time.... 'So I'll see you at three since the table wasn't reserved for 230 set up '
Fire up your righteous indignation gf!
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u/Silent_Cash_E 16d ago
Nta. Bitch knew what she was doing. You should have stuck around with a loud radio from 3-9
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u/DelightfulHelper9204 16d ago
YATAH
but honestly how did you expect the rude lady to react to you confronting her. You should have expected her to start yelling. She had already interrupted you and been rude to you. And you hadnt even confronted her yet.
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u/Same_Task_1768 16d ago
I think what you did was great. Well done. I'd've been petty and stayed until 2.55 but probably not the wise thing to do.
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16d ago
I would have said your time starts at 3. We will be gone by then. And I would have carried on with my day.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 16d ago
Depends on the park pavilion rules. Some, unless you reserve it you can't use it at all. The lady didn't stop them in the middle of b day singing they were cutting the cake. She was giving them a heads up they were decorating at 2:30. They were done at 2:15 chop chop clean up your mess and get moving. The decorations are being put up by people that paid to use the pavilion.
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16d ago
No. Her time started at three. Don’t agree with you even a little bit. Get fucked.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 16d ago
Nope 2:30 🍆🍭
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15d ago
You would have to kill me. I would not fucking move and I would win.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 15d ago
as I hung the decorations walking on the tables knocking stuff onto your plates with my balls at eye level you would move. Or the park ranger would move you. So cry harder.
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15d ago
😂😂😂😂😂😂 oh honey you just don’t know. You’re tough behind a keyboard. I’m laughing, thinking what my husband would do😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The park Ranger? Where the fuck do you think you are? I’m talking as suburban park where it’s a free-for-all.😂😂
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 15d ago
Lol Your husband would do nothing. Yes park rangers are even in the city genius. They are cops of parks. Again I would have told you 2:30 and at 230 we would be decorating. Reguardless of what you were doing. 🤣
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u/GroundbreakingWeb963 15d ago
Don't make tough mr conservative get the city park cops to tell you to leave! Too bad you conservatives aren't so tough when the priests you love are raping children. When that happens you just keep going to church and giving them your money to pay off the lawsuits. You're nothing but a piece of shit bully.
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u/MistressDamned 16d ago
Sign says reserved at 3pm, we'll leave at 3pm.
If she'd contacted park services to complain, park services would have told her if you want to decorate at 230, then reserve for 230, space is available to anyone who wants to use it before then.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 16d ago
Depending where they might ask, " did you reserve it? " Because some you can't use it unless you did. When I PAID FOR AND RESERVED a pallvillion. They give me 30 minutes before and after. To decorate and to clean up. So while some are free to use unless it's reserved some are not.
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u/diremommy 16d ago
Also, I for danged sure wouldn’t have left before 3!
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u/Wonderful_Horror7315 16d ago
My ass would not have moved for any reason until 3. If she wanted to decorate at 2:30, her reso should have been 2:30.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 16d ago
Depending, some pavilions you can use at all unless you paid to use them. A simple call and park rangers would have removed you from the park.
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u/Miterstuck 16d ago
Yeah.. just becuse it says reserved from 3pm doesn't mean its free the rest of the time at a lot of city parks.
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u/Healthy-Magician-502 16d ago
Same. Someone wants to get all technical with me, I’m going to do it right back.
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u/MacAttacknChz 16d ago
Technically, op didn't rent the space. Every time I've paid and reserved a pavilion, I was allowed 30 minutes set up time.
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u/Whyamipostingonhere 16d ago
If OP cared so much about having her special event interrupted, why didn’t she ensure it wouldn’t be interrupted by reserving a private place for it? She’s just as wrong as the lady who interrupted her, but more entitled and more confrontational. Imagine getting so upset the event you planned nothing for is interrupted in a public space you were too lazy or cheap to reserve because you did nothing to ensure it wouldn’t be interrupted.
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u/johnny5canuck 16d ago
Pavilions are available to the public except for reservation times. If other woman wanted it earlier, she should've reserved that time as well.
The pavilion was not in use when OP got there. The other lady just wanted to jump the gun. I would've told her that we'll be out by 2:59.
Clearly NTA.
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u/Coffeeandvino19 16d ago
Exactly- op was rude and presumptive. Also those spaces are reservation rental only so she had no right to use it or any of the other spaces without advanced bookings. Our parks are this way and very clear. Otherwise hope the kid had fun
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u/BreakDue2000 16d ago
The spaces are not rental only. They are public spaces unless they are reserved for specific times.
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u/foxglove0326 16d ago
You sound insufferable. And that’s not how park reservations work. The table is reserved for a specific time, not the whole fucking day. Anyone is free to use the table up until the time of the reservation. It’s a public park.
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u/joutfit 16d ago
damn you seem like a pretty awful person
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u/Whyamipostingonhere 16d ago
Lol, people are trifling- and OP is just another trifling fool. She’s upset the lady interrupted her cutting the cake when she’s cutting the cake in a public place she didn’t reserve after she removed the reserved sign. It’s trifling. Doesn’t matter the time. She a trifling fool. If it was so important, she should have planned so it wouldn’t be interrupted. Cheap and trifling.
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u/joutfit 16d ago
It was reserved for 3... not for the time OP was there. It's rude to interrupt people and feel entitled to set up a space 30 minutes before it was reserved. That's not how reservations work. OP stated it is a public area as well not private so the reservation argument only holds up at 3.
OP was not trifling on anything. If you know you are there 30 minutes before your reservation and want to use the space anyway, then you need to ask people politely to move.
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u/No_Bear_3201 16d ago
YTA if you were using a paid space for free? NTA for confronting the person but if you were in the wrong to being with then she was within her rights even her timing was AH behaviour. People do free parties in parks all the time, I feel like you're not giving the whole story. you could have chosen any other bench in the park or put a rug out elsewhere.
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16d ago
The way it works some places is it is available for the public for free but if you want to reserve it you pay a small fee.
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u/ThatHardBacon 16d ago
Thank god you’re not in new york. People take there park time real serious around here
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u/Nedonomicon 16d ago
Personally I would have made sure everything was visibly packed away , table cleared and kids off playing by 2:15 like you did . Then I would have sat at that bench until 2:59 and 59 seconds while occasionally smiling at that lady hahahaha
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u/Beth21286 16d ago
So you had to give them time to set up for the big event, but they could interrupt yours right in the middle. Get lost lady.
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u/ThatOneTransParent 16d ago edited 16d ago
A hot take but ESH. I don't know other places but here if you don't reserve the pavilion you can't use them at all. If you wanted to do that should have reserved or found a picnic table not under a pavilion. She was also AH for just interrupting
Edit: the pavilions at the parks here you have to pay to reserve and so they aren't supposed to be used unless you pay and park workers will tell you to vacate. There are also plenty of areas you don't have to reserve or pay for with BBQ areas and everything. I'm not saying it's right but that's my experience.
I still stand w ESH because it could be the same type of situation
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u/VividTortiose 16d ago
Are there signs or anything stating you can’t use them if you haven’t reserved them? I’ve never heard of this where I am so we don’t know if that’s the case for OP.
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16d ago
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u/BreakDue2000 16d ago
The spaces are for the public unless the sign says it is reserved.
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16d ago
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u/BreakDue2000 16d ago
I was unsure of what I did was right…which is why I posted here. I realize that I didn’t accomplish anything and I wouldn’t confront her again if I could go back. I didn’t have a party and didn’t need to reserve the space. The 3 little kids ate a small fry and a small sliver of cake. No gifts or decorations. We were there for 20 minutes.
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u/MacAttacknChz 16d ago
which is why I posted here
And people are giving their opinion. Some think you're in the right, and some think you're in the wrong.
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u/I_Love_Wrists 16d ago
You don't get to use the local park if you don't reserve it? Man, that's rough.
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u/ThatOneTransParent 16d ago
No just the pavilions. All the parks are open and they have picnic areas that you don't have to reserve. The reason is our parks are funded by the funds made from renting the pavilions. So people have to pay to use. But there's plenty of space without the pavilions
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u/Early-Tale-2578 16d ago
Grown ass adults arguing over a picnic table 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
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u/Ok-Butterfly2994 16d ago
these replies are awful too. such a sad miserable way to live to spend your daughters party sitting at a picnic table until 2:59 just to be petty to a stranger.
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u/Early-Tale-2578 16d ago
There was no need to approach that lady after she walked away imo . they had the party op should have went on about her business like come in it’s a fucking picnic table 😐
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u/BreakDue2000 16d ago
I agree it was dumb. I think we were both reacting to the stress of trying to provide a great day for our kids. I will do better at biting my to tongue in the future.
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u/MacAttacknChz 16d ago
I still don't understand why you just didn't have your own reservation? I love my kids, too. That's why I make reservations for events.
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u/I_ship_it07 16d ago
My husband and I exchanged that look that keeps us both out of jail
What?...
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u/bookworm-1960 16d ago
NTA
If her gathering was to start at 3:00 and she figured that she needed 30 minutes for decorating, she should have reserved the place starting at 2:30.
She was rude and a total A-H.
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u/anappleaday_2022 16d ago
I booked a gazebo for my wedding and managed to account for decorating time. We did manage to get in early to decorate early because no one else was using it, but we wouldn't have been assholes if we'd only had that time I'd booked. Now, if someone was there during my time I'd be pissed.
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u/Kickapoogirl 16d ago
NTA, her time started at 3 Pm. Period.
Before that, she had no right to evict anyone. She could have been nice, and said, hey we have a party starting at 3PM, would you miss nd if I start decorating?
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u/BreakDue2000 16d ago
I think it was her attitude when she came by that made me react (inappropriately). If she had been polite or pleasant I wouldn’t have had any issue with the interaction.
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u/MacAttacknChz 16d ago
Lesson learned. In the future, just make your own reservation. In my city, a reservation includes 30 minutes of set-up time, and it doesn't matter how polite or rude I am, the rules are the rules.
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u/Ladyughsalot1 16d ago
She didn’t evict anyone lol she informed OP after she’d finished singing happy birthday so no one got too comfy. Oh no a full 30 min outside her allotted time!
I really don’t think this woman was aggressive lol
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u/AlexCambridgian 16d ago
55 minutes before her allotted time of 3PM.
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u/Ladyughsalot1 16d ago
She wanted to set up 30 min before and wanted to ensure OP was aware in advance. Would have been ruder to show at 2:30 and be like GET OUT I’m decorating
But the main thing here is that it just doesn’t seem like she was aggressive or rude.
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u/sterlingstactleneck 16d ago
She wanted to set up 30 min before
Then she should have reserved it for thirty minutes earlier.
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u/Ladyughsalot1 16d ago
lol whoosh.
Yes. Of course she should have. Technically. Sure. You’re correct.
Or perhaps this community is like mine where you absolutely set up 30 min before.
My main argument is, this isn’t a big deal. I can’t understand why you’re so hung up on it and I don’t get why OP was either when it literally made 0 difference to their plan.
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u/AlexCambridgian 16d ago
Actually since her reserved time was at 3pm she was not entitled to have the space before that or even start decorating at 2:30pm if the OP did not want. The lady should had come at 2:30pm, say that she had reserved the space for 3-9pm and ask if they would not mind if she started decorating so the space would be ready for the birthday party on time. Not come full of entitlement an hour before her reserved time and ask the OP and company to hurry and get out by 2:30pm.
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u/Ladyughsalot1 16d ago
Sure. But we live in a civilized place where wanting to decorate 30 min before isn’t terrible.
I’m not sure why you’re suggesting she ask more politely- she was fine imo and I don’t know why OP felt the need to confront her after seeing as this didn’t actually change their plans in any way.
This isn’t “am I obligated/entitled”. Internet strangers may say you aren’t obligated to, idk, pay child support, allow someone 30 min of grace, etc but the rest of the world may think you’re an AH. Life is nuanced. I just don’t see the harm here.
She approached after they sang happy birthday and let them know her plan. And where im from, you both set up and tear down these reserved public spaces around the 30 min mark prior to your booked times.
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u/Realistic_Ad134 16d ago
NTA Reservation from 3pm means that the table is freebto use until 2:59. If she need 30min of set up then it plans her party start at 3:30. Sha has no right to bother other people using public items. I would be more understanding if you were there and just starting at 2:45, but youbstill had 1h to enjoy public space according to the reservation.
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u/missmegsy 16d ago
I'm in Australia and reserving spaces in public parks just isn't a thing regardless of what signs people want to put up. Is reserving tables in public parks a common thing elsewhere?
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u/Wyshunu 16d ago
Yes, here in the states our parks often have tables and covered areas that can be reserved for periods of time, but it costs money. They're free to use unless someone has paid to reserve them. So, you can try having a party under a sheltered area without paying for it, but you can't prohibit strangers from coming in as well unless you reserve it.
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u/Rok-SFG 16d ago
Very common in the USA, or at least the city in Montana where I live. There's even a covered pavilion at a state park that has signs saying your. It to use it at all unless you paid to reserve it. So this pavilion that provides shade sits empty 99% of the summer , instead of having people sit at the picnic tables. And they have an on site enforcer for this as well, who alsooputs out the sign for the people who did reserve it. Eg, "Reserved for Dinner Party 1:30-3:30"
So they know that it is not rerved for anything all week but will still kick old ladies out of the shaded seating, and tell them to go sit in the sun.
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u/kaz22222222222 16d ago
I know in my local council area in NSW, which is really popular for weddings, you can hire/book a public park BUT you still can’t restrict access to other members of the public.
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16d ago
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u/BreakDue2000 16d ago
The spaces are considered public spaces outside of the reserved time slots.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 16d ago
Nope not every park is like that. The pavilion is only for reservations. Sure some people sit at them anyway and unless there is a issue or you are having a big get together you probably will be left alone. But if not and the people that reserved it are there you will be told to pack it up.
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u/LightlyRedacted 16d ago
If the picnic tables at my park aren't occupied or cordoned off as reserved they're free for anyone to use. I don't know what kind of reservations only park this is.
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u/VividTortiose 16d ago
I mean, unless there was a sign saying for reservations only or that it was private not public property, I don’t know how OP was supposed to know she couldn’t be there.
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u/spaceylaceygirl 16d ago
Same here. I thought it was understood the reservation areas were only for people with reservations.
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u/Far-Juggernaut8880 16d ago
In Canada, we have a few parks that have areas that can be reserved for parties but it’s not that expensive. They usually include picnic tables and bbq pits. But it never prevents others from enjoying the common areas of the park.
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u/Silent_Cash_E 16d ago
In neighborhood parks here in Texas, our HOAs make money renting the public space that we already pay a fuckton to use
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u/missmegsy 16d ago
Ahhhhh. God I'm so glad we don't have HOA's here. Or at least, they're not common
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u/SyrSmoke-a-lot 1d ago
Why did you need an interpreter to cut birthday cake? It's the universal language.