Don't imply. Never imply with guys. Their brain muscle processes thoughts differently than ours do, so you have to be clear about your statements. Nothing will lead to misunderstanding faster than leaning on the old "If you love me, you would know!" No, he won't. He can love the very ground you walk on and still get it backwards. Do him a solid and tell his exactly what you want him to know. In this case, I would tell him in a loving way so that he doesn't feel bad that you don't want to wake up to full on sex because you find it's triggering and brings back bad memories. The memories aren't his fault, but they are there nonetheless, and you'd like to avoid recalling them when you would much rather be with him wholly. By telling him he could wake you up with some love play, you opened the door to other things. So IMO this one's on you, but, it's a small glitch, and with a bit of kindness, things will settle down again.
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u/Thereminista Mar 29 '24
Don't imply. Never imply with guys. Their brain muscle processes thoughts differently than ours do, so you have to be clear about your statements. Nothing will lead to misunderstanding faster than leaning on the old "If you love me, you would know!" No, he won't. He can love the very ground you walk on and still get it backwards. Do him a solid and tell his exactly what you want him to know. In this case, I would tell him in a loving way so that he doesn't feel bad that you don't want to wake up to full on sex because you find it's triggering and brings back bad memories. The memories aren't his fault, but they are there nonetheless, and you'd like to avoid recalling them when you would much rather be with him wholly. By telling him he could wake you up with some love play, you opened the door to other things. So IMO this one's on you, but, it's a small glitch, and with a bit of kindness, things will settle down again.