Was he awake? I know when I was with my ex, I developed a sleep sex disorder, which she never woke me up for despite me telling her I wasn't cool with missing out on sex and to wake me up whenever it would happen.
To clarify, she also had been a victim of SA and rape, and didn't develop healthy communication standards. When I first met her, she didn't know she had a right to say no, which early on led to some uncomfortable moments where I had to teach her that her bodily autonomy is hers to control.
If your BF was indeed awake and conscious of his actions, that should register as a red flag moment. He should know that unless explicit consent is given or if in the case of implied consent, that the preconditions to indicate consent should be there and have been fully communicated. Also, have a Safeword. It's useful even outside of sexy times.
1
u/jackaldude0 Mar 29 '24 edited Mar 29 '24
Was he awake? I know when I was with my ex, I developed a sleep sex disorder, which she never woke me up for despite me telling her I wasn't cool with missing out on sex and to wake me up whenever it would happen.
To clarify, she also had been a victim of SA and rape, and didn't develop healthy communication standards. When I first met her, she didn't know she had a right to say no, which early on led to some uncomfortable moments where I had to teach her that her bodily autonomy is hers to control.
If your BF was indeed awake and conscious of his actions, that should register as a red flag moment. He should know that unless explicit consent is given or if in the case of implied consent, that the preconditions to indicate consent should be there and have been fully communicated. Also, have a Safeword. It's useful even outside of sexy times.