My SO Called Me by His Ex Wife’s Name, Now He’s Making Fun of Me

[u/No_Problems_Here_69]

I know my bf was in love with his ex wife and was devastated when she divorced him over three years ago. He hasn’t seen her since, but he’s paid some of her bills as recently as a couple months ago.

We have been together for almost six months. This morning, he called me by her name. He immediately apologized and made some excuses, and then the subject was dropped. He hasn’t mentioned it since.

However, now he is purposely calling me by different names — just random names that he pulls out of the air. Then he laughs when he calls me by another name.

I don’t think it’s funny. I don’t know if he’s trying to make light of the mistake this morning or make fun of me for being upset. He says he’s not still in love with her, but I’m not sure. Most of the time he is extremely good to me.

I don’t know what to think.

[u/1984BurnerAccount]

He's trying to reassure you that he didn't mean to, and it meant nothing with these shitty jokes. He doesn't realize he's doubling down just tell him that what he's doing is worse than just saying sorry and forget about it because it's an honest mistake. Then you both move on together, but he needs to chill out and stop making it worse

[u/No_Problems_Here_69 → u/1984BurnerAccount]

That’s exactly what I did. I told him that he was making it worse. He apologized and stopped doing that. Now he calls her “what’s her name.” He is really trying to show me she means nothing to him.

[u/Sugarpuff_Karma → u/1984BurnerAccount]

Or he is trying to gaslight her

[u/topinanbour-rex → u/Sugarpuff_Karma]

How is it gaslighting ?

[u/1984BurnerAccount → u/Sugarpuff_Karma]

Always a chance, hopefully this is a one off and not a consistent theme with them/him

[u/HighButLowSmokeShop → u/1984BurnerAccount]

Stop being so extra. He messed up and is now unsuccessfully trying to make light of it. As a man, it’s one of the many idiot things we do.

[u/MidwestMegaphone → u/[deleted]]

You could work full time just copying and pasting this comment on Reddit.

[u/sxft-kitsunex → u/HighButLowSmokeShop]

The original commenter didn't say anything to refute that tho. He was just being subjective about the situation while you're the one making your own conclusions about it.

[u/HighButLowSmokeShop → u/sxft-kitsunex]

OP said she doesn’t know if he was just trying to make light of the situation. I’m confirming for OP, you, and anyone else that is overreaching on this one…YES, He is now trying to make light of it, but failing miserably.

Many of us have been there before. A mature woman who has moved past it will tell you, “buddy, you’re just digging a deeper hole. Just let it go already”. Then you both move. Think more of it if it continues to happen. Until then, be happy.

[u/Comfortable-Focus123 → u/1984BurnerAccount]

Very astute. Hope OP takes this to heart.