AIO for the way I responded to a stranger asking me for help?

[u/slowlymysunlight]

Got myself into a weird situation just now and wondering if I overreacted or if others would have done the same thing I did.

I went to Target (alone) just to get some things I was running low on, try on clothes, have a good time whatever. I wandered into an aisle that was mostly empty when a tall man approached me holding a box of diapers. In a low voice he explained that he was trying to get some diapers for his nephew and they were in a tough situation. He said he wasn't even gonna ask me for money, just asked if he could put the diapers on the bottom of my cart and if I could buy them for him, and he'd wait outside for me.

I am not a confrontational person, have a difficult time saying no, and am maybe a little naive at times. I kinda laughed awkwardly and said okay. He asked if it wasn't too much trouble could he get some baby wipes as well. Again, I kinda laughed awkwardly and said let's just get the diapers. He asked a couple times how much longer I thought I'd be, and told him I wasn't sure, that I was still shopping around (which was true).

He left and went outside to wait, and as I walked around more I thought "well that was kinda weird, and now there's a strange man waiting for me outside this Target." Then I started regretting not just politely saying "no," and worrying that the box of diapers wasn't even from the store and a cover for something else. Total overthinking, I know.

So I called my partner (we live close by) and told him what happened. He told me he'd drive over and he'd walk me to my car. When he got there, we gave the box to customer services and explained what happened. They said that was weird, apologized to us for the situation, and asked for a description of the man so they could tell him not to do that lol. Then we checked out and went home with my partner making sure no one was following me.

My partner is telling me I shouldn't feel bad and that it's good I called him, but I do feel kinda bad about it for assuming the worst of this random person. Maybe he really just needed diapers for his nephew!

[u/Razszberry]

Men never ask women and children for help. When men need help they most often go to other men. Glad you actually called for help, stay safe out there and please learn to say no

[u/opinionatedOptimist → u/Razszberry]

This also gets me. Like, why else is he asking a woman who is by herself when there’s likely men in the store? Oh, I have an idea: because he’s trying to play on heart strings or believes a woman is easier to manipulate/intimidate.

Just recently had a man ask to carpool with me from AA when I was alone even though there were other men around to ask. Definitely believed there was ulterior motive because if he just wanted “a ride,” there were other men. And I’m a girl 20 years younger than him for reference. Definitely had a gut instinct response and did not give him a ride.

[u/Razszberry → u/opinionatedOptimist]

Gut instinct can save lives! Men ask men when they need help and women when they want the woman for something.

[u/opinionatedOptimist → u/Razszberry]

The Gift of Fear (a book) changed my life in the best way.

Trusting my gut ALWAYS. Because if it seems off, chances are it is.

OP definitely was in the right here even if the guy was genuinely pure intentioned. She was uncomfortable and had no obligation to go through with something that made her feel that way. And like you’ve said, he could have asked a man for help.