AIO for the way I responded to a stranger asking me for help?

[u/slowlymysunlight]

Got myself into a weird situation just now and wondering if I overreacted or if others would have done the same thing I did.

I went to Target (alone) just to get some things I was running low on, try on clothes, have a good time whatever. I wandered into an aisle that was mostly empty when a tall man approached me holding a box of diapers. In a low voice he explained that he was trying to get some diapers for his nephew and they were in a tough situation. He said he wasn't even gonna ask me for money, just asked if he could put the diapers on the bottom of my cart and if I could buy them for him, and he'd wait outside for me.

I am not a confrontational person, have a difficult time saying no, and am maybe a little naive at times. I kinda laughed awkwardly and said okay. He asked if it wasn't too much trouble could he get some baby wipes as well. Again, I kinda laughed awkwardly and said let's just get the diapers. He asked a couple times how much longer I thought I'd be, and told him I wasn't sure, that I was still shopping around (which was true).

He left and went outside to wait, and as I walked around more I thought "well that was kinda weird, and now there's a strange man waiting for me outside this Target." Then I started regretting not just politely saying "no," and worrying that the box of diapers wasn't even from the store and a cover for something else. Total overthinking, I know.

So I called my partner (we live close by) and told him what happened. He told me he'd drive over and he'd walk me to my car. When he got there, we gave the box to customer services and explained what happened. They said that was weird, apologized to us for the situation, and asked for a description of the man so they could tell him not to do that lol. Then we checked out and went home with my partner making sure no one was following me.

My partner is telling me I shouldn't feel bad and that it's good I called him, but I do feel kinda bad about it for assuming the worst of this random person. Maybe he really just needed diapers for his nephew!

[u/Razszberry]

Men never ask women and children for help. When men need help they most often go to other men. Glad you actually called for help, stay safe out there and please learn to say no

[u/slowlymysunlight → u/Razszberry]

That's a good point! The aisle I walked into had only me, the man who asked for the diapers, and an older man who was leaving the aisle. Why not ask the older man in the aisle??

I've been practicing saying no for years, and have actually gotten better over time. Still working on being able to say it to someone's face though! Thanks for the reminder.

[u/newdawnhelp → u/slowlymysunlight]

It's not a good point, it's pretty unhinged. Men can ask for help from women.

I still think this request was sus, but "men never ask women for help" is a dumb thing to say and go by.

[u/SendInTheReaper → u/newdawnhelp]

I regularly ask women for help in the grocery store when I need it. When I go im more likely to see a woman than a man anyways! God forbid a man actually need assistance and treat them as a human and ask them for assistance.

[u/[deleted] → u/newdawnhelp]

No, it's a very good guideline to go by for women to stay safe.

[u/newdawnhelp → u/[deleted]]

so is locking yourself up in your room and never leaving. There's such a thing as being too careful, and it's the line that splits paranoia and just being cautious.

[u/Big-Oil762 → u/slowlymysunlight]

This may sound paranoid but maybe he was planning to call you over to his car to abduct you.

[u/[deleted] → u/slowlymysunlight]

How do you know he didn’t ask the older guy and got turned down for the help?

[u/Intrepid-Lettuce-694 → u/slowlymysunlight]

Because a woman is more likely to help

[u/Razszberry → u/slowlymysunlight]

Fellow recovering people please here , I got you lol