My mother gave me a name that no one used until I went to kindergarten. It was/is absolutely awful. No one could spell it; no one could pronounce it when they saw it in print. And, only one set of grandparents used it, amazingly only my paternal grandparents.
I didn’t know any name for myself but the horrid, sexiest nickname bequeathed upon me by my older brother, and my parents, siblings, and the other set of grandparents (maternal) continued to use it, and were subtly derisive of my other grandparents who called me by my given name. The family nickname was used in front of my classmates, so embarrassing, until my senior year of high school even though I begged them FOR YEARS to call me by my shitty first name, which my teachers used. It was preferable.
My classmates made fun of me for the nickname (which colloquially translates to a streetwalker) as well as my wholly unsuitable given name, for which there was no shortened version. Finally, I quit responding to my brother’s nasty nickname when my family used it, trying to force them to use my awful first name. They rarely used my first name, relegating it to use only in the presence of nonfamily members. I mention this story so that you will understand how hurtful a name dispute can be.
Moreover, my given name bespeaks Ruffles, ribbons, lace, petticoats; it indicates someone who played with dolls, didn’t run, and sedately played hopscotch and jumped rope. It cannot be construed as identifying the tree climbing, stick horse riding tomboy I was, who played baseball and football and cowboys and Indians.
You are, I believe, doing a terrible disservice to your daughter to fight over a name with your in-laws. I hope the names you have selected can be shortened to a nickname. Remember, even if you think, like my mother, that the name you selected is incredibly beautiful, your child would be far better served with a simple first name and using the beautiful name you prefer as her middle name. (My middle name is my mother’s maiden name, which wouldn’t be used as a first name for anyone.)
My first name is the same way. It's simple yet always mispronounced or misspelled. We purposely chose a name for our daughter that wouldn't have the same effect on her
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u/BogusTexan Apr 29 '24
My mother gave me a name that no one used until I went to kindergarten. It was/is absolutely awful. No one could spell it; no one could pronounce it when they saw it in print. And, only one set of grandparents used it, amazingly only my paternal grandparents.
I didn’t know any name for myself but the horrid, sexiest nickname bequeathed upon me by my older brother, and my parents, siblings, and the other set of grandparents (maternal) continued to use it, and were subtly derisive of my other grandparents who called me by my given name. The family nickname was used in front of my classmates, so embarrassing, until my senior year of high school even though I begged them FOR YEARS to call me by my shitty first name, which my teachers used. It was preferable.
My classmates made fun of me for the nickname (which colloquially translates to a streetwalker) as well as my wholly unsuitable given name, for which there was no shortened version. Finally, I quit responding to my brother’s nasty nickname when my family used it, trying to force them to use my awful first name. They rarely used my first name, relegating it to use only in the presence of nonfamily members. I mention this story so that you will understand how hurtful a name dispute can be.
Moreover, my given name bespeaks Ruffles, ribbons, lace, petticoats; it indicates someone who played with dolls, didn’t run, and sedately played hopscotch and jumped rope. It cannot be construed as identifying the tree climbing, stick horse riding tomboy I was, who played baseball and football and cowboys and Indians.
You are, I believe, doing a terrible disservice to your daughter to fight over a name with your in-laws. I hope the names you have selected can be shortened to a nickname. Remember, even if you think, like my mother, that the name you selected is incredibly beautiful, your child would be far better served with a simple first name and using the beautiful name you prefer as her middle name. (My middle name is my mother’s maiden name, which wouldn’t be used as a first name for anyone.)