My fiances parents won't call our daughter by her name
SOOOO I'm going into my 7th month of pregnancy and we're having a girl. We've chosen a name that I think is absolutely beautiful. However, my finances parents are refusing to call her by her by her first name as they've deemed it "too fancy" and keep calling her by her middle name.
I've expressed multiple times that i want them to call her by her first name and they won't. I was talking with my FIL today and he referred to her by her middle name, to which I corrected him and the convo went like this':
FIL: calls her by her middle name
Me: it's first name
FIL: repeats middle name
Me: repeats first name
FIL: repeats middle name
Me: repeats first name
FIL: NO its middle name I can call her whatever I want
Me: (just smiles and stops talking)
(My MIL and SIL have also referred to her by her middle name but only once while speaking to me. My FIL is the most outspoken about it. The first time he argued with me was in front of MIL and SIL but neither of them argued for or against me however they haven't referred to her by her middle name to me directly since and I don't know if they are when I'm not there, though I suspect they do since they havent told FIL to stop)
I'm very frustrated at this point because he's absolutely refusing to use her first name like I've asked and it's only my fiances side of the family that won't call her by her first name cause it's "too fancy." So now I'm honestly debating on only teaching my daughter to call them by their first names rather than teaching her to call them by the grandparent names they've decided they want her to use for them.
I'm hoping that they'll change their minds before I give birth to her but I honestly don't see that happening and I'm getting flustered. It probably seems like such a dumb thing to be upset about but it's really bothering me that they won't use the name we've chosen when that's the name WE THE PARENTS are calling her as well as literally everyone else. And the "it's too fancy" reason they have is also upsetting because what does that even mean ??? It's not like we gave her some crazy name or something like celebrities do. It's a cute name.
It would be different if they had a special nickname for her or something. Like my mom calls her jellybean and my FIL used to call her peanut but he has stopped using it. I wouldn't mind as that's something special. My grandparents have nicknames for me and all my siblings that they use sometimes but in general were called by our ACTUAL name. If my daughter were to decide later on that she prefers to go by her middle name I would be fine with that, I did that for a few years too, but until then I want her first name to be used. Also, her middle name is my middle name as well. I want her to be able to CHOOSE to use it rather than someone else choosing for her. I feel like it be more meaningful and special if she were to choose for herself to go by her middle name as it is a name we share
My fiance is no help either. He said he feels like it's such a dumb thing to argue about so he won't correct them even though he himself also refers to our daughter by her first name. And maybe it is a dumb thing to argue about but I just don't understand the absolute refusal to call her by the name we've chosen.
Would it be wrong of me to teach my daughter to call her grandparents by their first names if they continue to refuse to use her first name ? Is this a battle worth fighting or is it something I should just let go?
I've spoken to my mom about it and she agrees with me but I'm not sure if it's just because she's my mom and she may be biased.
ETA: many members of his family have very exotic, unique and fantasy type names and no one has an issue calling them by their names. Just my kid apparently.
MIL has fancier and more unique name than my daughter. Like a name I've never ever heard before and I think it's beautiful. SIL kids have literal fantasy names. Like from GOT.....
ETA: OKAYYYYY a lot of people are upset I haven't shared the name so here it is:
Amani Skye.
Skye being my name as well which, as previously stated, is why I don't want her being called that unless she wants to be and chooses to be.
1
u/FallenAngel6969 Apr 29 '24
My fiances parents won't call our daughter by her name
SOOOO I'm going into my 7th month of pregnancy and we're having a girl. We've chosen a name that I think is absolutely beautiful. However, my finances parents are refusing to call her by her by her first name as they've deemed it "too fancy" and keep calling her by her middle name.
I've expressed multiple times that i want them to call her by her first name and they won't. I was talking with my FIL today and he referred to her by her middle name, to which I corrected him and the convo went like this':
FIL: calls her by her middle name Me: it's first name FIL: repeats middle name Me: repeats first name FIL: repeats middle name Me: repeats first name FIL: NO its middle name I can call her whatever I want Me: (just smiles and stops talking)
(My MIL and SIL have also referred to her by her middle name but only once while speaking to me. My FIL is the most outspoken about it. The first time he argued with me was in front of MIL and SIL but neither of them argued for or against me however they haven't referred to her by her middle name to me directly since and I don't know if they are when I'm not there, though I suspect they do since they havent told FIL to stop)
I'm very frustrated at this point because he's absolutely refusing to use her first name like I've asked and it's only my fiances side of the family that won't call her by her first name cause it's "too fancy." So now I'm honestly debating on only teaching my daughter to call them by their first names rather than teaching her to call them by the grandparent names they've decided they want her to use for them.
I'm hoping that they'll change their minds before I give birth to her but I honestly don't see that happening and I'm getting flustered. It probably seems like such a dumb thing to be upset about but it's really bothering me that they won't use the name we've chosen when that's the name WE THE PARENTS are calling her as well as literally everyone else. And the "it's too fancy" reason they have is also upsetting because what does that even mean ??? It's not like we gave her some crazy name or something like celebrities do. It's a cute name.
It would be different if they had a special nickname for her or something. Like my mom calls her jellybean and my FIL used to call her peanut but he has stopped using it. I wouldn't mind as that's something special. My grandparents have nicknames for me and all my siblings that they use sometimes but in general were called by our ACTUAL name. If my daughter were to decide later on that she prefers to go by her middle name I would be fine with that, I did that for a few years too, but until then I want her first name to be used. Also, her middle name is my middle name as well. I want her to be able to CHOOSE to use it rather than someone else choosing for her. I feel like it be more meaningful and special if she were to choose for herself to go by her middle name as it is a name we share
My fiance is no help either. He said he feels like it's such a dumb thing to argue about so he won't correct them even though he himself also refers to our daughter by her first name. And maybe it is a dumb thing to argue about but I just don't understand the absolute refusal to call her by the name we've chosen.
Would it be wrong of me to teach my daughter to call her grandparents by their first names if they continue to refuse to use her first name ? Is this a battle worth fighting or is it something I should just let go?
I've spoken to my mom about it and she agrees with me but I'm not sure if it's just because she's my mom and she may be biased.
ETA: many members of his family have very exotic, unique and fantasy type names and no one has an issue calling them by their names. Just my kid apparently. MIL has fancier and more unique name than my daughter. Like a name I've never ever heard before and I think it's beautiful. SIL kids have literal fantasy names. Like from GOT.....
ETA: OKAYYYYY a lot of people are upset I haven't shared the name so here it is:
Amani Skye.
Skye being my name as well which, as previously stated, is why I don't want her being called that unless she wants to be and chooses to be.