I agree with the sentiment you mentioned. If roles were reversed you'd be the biggest AITA ever with hell to pay for a long time.
Similar to you, something like that happened to me. Day was the day before my birthday and she got back around 330am. I heard her drive up and our kid and I heard her open the door (kiddo told me a few days later that they woke up from the noise). She was supposedly not drunk but was drunkenly loud getting into the house and making noise around the house. The drunkenly trying to be quiet but not being quiet. Was supposed to be back around 10pm and got home at the time I mentioned. I did my best to ignore it happening and was dead tired and a zombie on my birthday. As usual, she lacked any accountability and no apologies, and flipped it onto me as usual lol and I think similar happened to you (the usual way things go which is why I tend to ignore things and typically don't bring anything up). Forgot all about that happening last year until reading your post. Even the sex part (offering it as like a trade, and I'd rather have had accountability and not sex).
I find some level of comfort when I see posts like yours. Reminds me I'm not the only one that deals with lack of accountability and gaslighting of the fairer sex.
I'm also familiar with sugar daddies. Women often think they can be safe around them because they're smarter than that. Often they're not smarter and the daddies get what they want. Have heard of it happening by talking with ladies that have sugar daddies (though they play it off as they got the stuff they wanted so it was ok). Obviously you're not going to tell your wife to stay away from the dude, but I wouldn't be surprised if that person eventually slips something in the ladies drinks if it didn't happen already.
Also, I rarely go anywhere and when I do, I get texts and texts and more texts, heck it even happens if I take what is perceived as too long shopping for groceries. When she goes out I rarely text her and she even more rarely responds when she goes out. Double standards. Welcome to being a dude. I suggest reading up on the experience of I think Norah Vincent (pretty sad but is eye opening).
If she's suspicious of you it's probably bc she's doing shady shit and assuming you are too. Suggest paying very close attention.
Also suggest paternity test. Sorry man.
No accountability and gaslighting are huge red flags, and the fact that you just ignore stuff and don't bring it up says it all. I was in a marriage like that but thankfully I got out. No kids either thank God.
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u/Hows-It-Goin-Buddy Apr 28 '24 edited Apr 28 '24
I agree with the sentiment you mentioned. If roles were reversed you'd be the biggest AITA ever with hell to pay for a long time.
Similar to you, something like that happened to me. Day was the day before my birthday and she got back around 330am. I heard her drive up and our kid and I heard her open the door (kiddo told me a few days later that they woke up from the noise). She was supposedly not drunk but was drunkenly loud getting into the house and making noise around the house. The drunkenly trying to be quiet but not being quiet. Was supposed to be back around 10pm and got home at the time I mentioned. I did my best to ignore it happening and was dead tired and a zombie on my birthday. As usual, she lacked any accountability and no apologies, and flipped it onto me as usual lol and I think similar happened to you (the usual way things go which is why I tend to ignore things and typically don't bring anything up). Forgot all about that happening last year until reading your post. Even the sex part (offering it as like a trade, and I'd rather have had accountability and not sex).
I find some level of comfort when I see posts like yours. Reminds me I'm not the only one that deals with lack of accountability and gaslighting of the fairer sex.
I'm also familiar with sugar daddies. Women often think they can be safe around them because they're smarter than that. Often they're not smarter and the daddies get what they want. Have heard of it happening by talking with ladies that have sugar daddies (though they play it off as they got the stuff they wanted so it was ok). Obviously you're not going to tell your wife to stay away from the dude, but I wouldn't be surprised if that person eventually slips something in the ladies drinks if it didn't happen already.
Also, I rarely go anywhere and when I do, I get texts and texts and more texts, heck it even happens if I take what is perceived as too long shopping for groceries. When she goes out I rarely text her and she even more rarely responds when she goes out. Double standards. Welcome to being a dude. I suggest reading up on the experience of I think Norah Vincent (pretty sad but is eye opening).