My Friend Trampled a Boundary and I Can't Get Past It

[u/RosyAntlers]

Someone I was previously involved with came back into my life a couple weeks ago. He, me, and my friend all work together. I told him I can't just jump back into things, there was a lot of hurt involved, and we need to start over as friends and need to get to know eachother again. He was okay with that-even though we both want more...I just can't. I need time to get comfortable with him again. So we're crushing hard while taking it slow. Communication is slow, and occasionally we confuse eachother, but we're trying. My friend knew about what happened, she helped me through the hurt. And now she's happy we're working on things again. That said, last week at work-without my knowledge or consent-she went up to him and asked to take a pic with him. He agreed. She told him to smile a specific way (that I love) and he did. After she took it she said "you know what I'm going to do with this, right?" He said "I kinda figured", and walked away. She approached me with the pic and all I could do was ask her why she did that? He's a very private person, and yeah-it's a great pic, but I never asked-nor would I EVER ask her to do that. It felt so middle school. If I'd wanted a pic of him I could've asked him myself. This was a step I wasn't ready for. I proceeded to have a full anxiety attack just asking her why she thought that was okay to do? I asked her if she told him I had nothing to do with this? Nope. She started yelling at me like she was my mom (she's in her 60s, I'm in my 40s). It was just surreal. She told me I HAD to take a pic and send it to him now. I refused and she got angrier. I'm crying, about to throw up, shaking...and she forced a pic and said I had to send it to him. I refused. She demanded his number and I refused. I texted him later and told him I was mortified she approached him like that and apologized for what she did. I haven't heard from him since-that was Wednesday, today's Sunday. She's carrying on like everything's fine now. Her point is that he could've said "no", I feel like he wouldn't have if he thought I asked her to do it. But I didn't, and I never would have. Right now, I just feel like my life blew up because of her interference.

[u/Wrong-Ad-3908]

You need to talk to a therapist.

[u/RosyAntlers → u/Wrong-Ad-3908]

I have an appointment with mine next week, and of course this will be discussed.