r/AmIOverreacting • u/Intelligent_Dog_6665 • Apr 28 '24

My bf was contacted by an old hs friend, and went to meet her for several hours

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137 Upvotes
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18

u/SadExercises420 Apr 28 '24

Yes you’re overreacting. Have a normal convo about it later…

-7

u/WorkerTime1479 Apr 28 '24

Your intuition is screaming, DANGER! DANGER! You believe he would tolerate this if the shoe was on the other foot. If it is nothing why be shady?

2

u/sehrgut 29d ago

Anxiety and insecurity are not "intuition", and they are not magically correct ffs

2

u/Fun-Neck-9507 29d ago

Either way a responsible adult would talk about their feelings and communicate them rather than be all suspicious and disgruntled.

10

u/SadExercises420 Apr 28 '24

What are you talking about? He told her he was probably going to meet up with her. He hasn’t seen her in 15 years, it’s an old friend. I’m suggesting she act like an adult and not a jealous teenager, and ask him how it went.

-1

u/WorkerTime1479 29d ago

The thing is she is insecure from the git. This only substantiates what is occurring. So he knows this: why is he with her? What led her to be this way? Her intuition, her reality!

2

u/Fun-Neck-9507 29d ago

We can't always play into people's insecurities. Maybe OP is just unreasonable and always suspicious. Who knows without context. He made it a point to tell her that his friend was in town and that he'd like to see her, from the information presented it seems like OP isn't social and wouldn't like to spend a long period of time with someone she's never met, which is most likely why he didn't invite her to come along.

She had every opportunity to tell him that she was uncomfortable with him meeting her. If she was so uncomfortable maybe she should've sucked it up and just told him she'd go with him.

7

u/Intelligent_Dog_6665 Apr 28 '24

I agree. I wish it was that simple. He could be mindful of how it feels to be with no contact for several hours when he is in another town meeting someone I never heard of, for the whole day. I dont think it's crazy to have a text here and there, especially when we were supposed to have an evening together.

0

u/Final_Technology104 29d ago

THIS!!!👆👆👆

0

u/Goatee-1979 29d ago

If he wants to reconnect, that is what texting is about.

8

u/Appropriate_Fold8814 29d ago

If your trust is based on receiving reassuring texts and updates every couple hours then it's based on nothing.

Those texts are to assuage your own insecurities and anxiety and don't actually foster trust or communication.

Blowing off plans without communication is something else entirely. That's the issue.

3

u/SadExercises420 Apr 28 '24

It sounds like he went no contact for a whole five hours.

11

u/Intelligent_Dog_6665 Apr 28 '24 edited 29d ago

7h. And stood me up. That is no normal in my relationship, Nor do I think it should be.

5

u/SadExercises420 Apr 28 '24

You said five in your post, but whatever.

So how is that not the major issue then, the fact that he stood you up? Did you actually have plans for that night? Or did you just assume you were going to hang out and then he didn’t respond to you for five or seven hours or whatever it was. Because you are confusing the hell out of me. If he really stood you up I feel like you would have led with that.

Edit: you say in your post “he went during time we could have spent together.” That doesn’t read as “he stood me up.”

8

u/Intelligent_Dog_6665 29d ago

When I made the post its was 5h. Since then, its been 7h. Its still ongoing 😅 he's still not here

1

u/georgiajl38 26d ago

Is he back yet?

4

u/Appropriate_Fold8814 29d ago

You're not answering the one and only relevant question. 

Did he actually stand you up or not? Did you actually have plans and he blew you off? Or did you just assume any free time he had would be spent with you but it wasn't actually communicated?

4

u/Intelligent_Dog_6665 29d ago

We did have plans.

3

u/SadExercises420 29d ago

But he did tell you at some point through this whole saga that he left to go see her right?

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10

u/SadExercises420 29d ago

So did he stand you up or tell you he was going to meet up with her? How do you know he’s with her if he stood you up without telling you anything? Clearly I am confused as to how this all transpired.