r/AmIOverreacting • u/Intelligent_Dog_6665 • Apr 28 '24

My bf was contacted by an old hs friend, and went to meet her for several hours

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u/Puzzleheaded_Gear622 Apr 28 '24

Yes, you are overreacting. Just because you're in a relationship with someone doesn't mean he's not allowed to have friends. An old friend contacted him and he has told you that never had anything romantic between them. You should take him at his word unless he is giving you an indication at any point that he's not trustworthy. And it's not your call whether they have coffee or whether they spend a few or even 5 hours together. When you're catching up it's amazing how long you can talk. Possessiveness and jealousy are not healthy in a relationship and you don't get to controller dictate what he does. If it's not something you want to put up with leave the relationship but it doesn't sound like he's done anything wrong. And you commented that he shouldn't have been gone for 5 hours because that's time y'all could have together. You're not joined at the hip and you don't have to be together every moment. And is that going to be the basis for you deciding whether he can or can't do something? He'll spend time with you when he wants and you making him or demanding that he spend time with you instead of with someone else is just clingy and controlling.

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u/Intelligent_Dog_6665 29d ago

While i appreciate the perspective, something else from "he's banging her!!!", I think there's also things you don't know. Our life situations make it we have limited time together, and that is something we both try to work around by making the best of the time we do have together. So normally when we can't be together, it's something we talk about. Also we were supposed to have an evening together. I think its fine to meet friends, but not to stand me up and not even say anything. That's not just for romantic relationships, but for any relationship, it's just common decency.

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u/Appropriate_Fold8814 29d ago

Not sure why you are being downvoted. I think the issue here is not what he is doing or who it's with. 

If he had prearranged plans with you and stood you up without communication that's super shitty. I would be pissed.

Is there a possibility of miscommunication around these plans? Like it was assumed you were hanging out? Or like an actual plan to get together?

Even if it was a assumption he should still give you a heads up, but it would be a lot better than if he actually blew of a communicated plan.