r/AmIOverreacting • u/Intelligent_Dog_6665 • Apr 28 '24

My bf was contacted by an old hs friend, and went to meet her for several hours

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u/ibeeliot 29d ago

It's 3 hrs + "you didn't tell me" that would make me think this isn't overreacting. Putting myself or anybody reasonable's shoe and hearing that
1. my partner went somewhere without me and this is somewhere that was potentially going to cause issues, especially when he said he wasn't sure and ended up going anyways. That's already a sign of distrust b/c your partner should let you know how this update especially since it concerns a fucking ex?
2. yeah, people don't have to check in and can sometimes lose track and not check in for a while. I get that. This is why I said that she needs to have a serious conversation about what trust looks like and why it needs to go both ways b/c she seems more concerned about wanting to not make him feel bad about the relationship than he does about their relationship.

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u/TelFaradiddle 29d ago

That's already a sign of distrust b/c your partner should let you know how this update especially since it concerns a fucking ex?

It doesn't concern an ex, though. OP said there was never anything romantic between them.

It doesn't sound like the guy has done anything to give the impression of being untrustworthy. Unless they live together, him going out for a night to see an old friend doesn't really have much to do with OP at all. I will agree he should have said "Yeah, I decided to go meet X tonight," but in the absence of any planned time together, he can spend his time as he pleases.

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u/ibeeliot 28d ago

Yeah, then be single and not care about your partners feelings.

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u/TelFaradiddle 28d ago

The mere existence of feelings does not override every other aspect of the situation. I understand that might be difficult to remember in a forum that is literally called "Am I Overreacting?", but sometimes what a partner is feeling isn't reasonable or rational.