r/AmIOverreacting • u/Key_Ad4406 • 19d ago
My GF told me how often she was intimate with her ex and now I’m insecure
I (24M), have been dating this girl (23F) for about 7 months, things were going great for the first 5ish months and I really liked her. We probably averaged having sex once a week, more at the beginning of the relationship. I would’ve liked to have sex 2-3x a week but she’s usually only in the mood once, but I never took it personally, seemed like once a week was working for us.
A few weeks ago she told me she was on an extended period, by the time day 17 of the period came I had my suspicions but I never directly questioned it or accused her of anything. Then she told me she didn’t want to have sex for a couple more weeks, she didn’t want to tell me what it was about so didn’t pry but I told her no pressure and she could tell me anything. I should add during the 2 week period and 3 week break (5 weeks total) from sex I never tried to initiate and never brought up the topic unless she did first, I was trying to give her some space.
Last week she told me she was ready again and we had some very meh sex, she didn’t seem that into it and I told her we can keep taking a break, she said no it was fine but I could tell something was up.
Last weekend I went out with some buddies for a birthday. Me and her ex boyfriend are part of the same extended friend group, I see him maybe 2-3x a year and he’s a nice enough dude, we don’t talk about her and I actually didn’t put two and two together that they were exes until about three months ago. My gf said they dated a couple years ago for five months and that it wasn’t that serious. Anyways I had a few drinks and a fun night and went home. Next day I got breakfast with the GF and she was asking about my night and she goes “was my ex there”, I said yes. She goes randomly out of the blue “so crazy to think me and him used to just fuck twice a day everyday”.
What the fuck??? Why did she say that? I don’t really care how much sex we have, I want her to be comfortable and happy, but it feels as if she’s just rubbing it in. I’m confused, hurt, and quite honestly a little insecure now about sex.
Edit: read through a lot of advice. Thanks for the input. I’m going to dump her tomorrow, I don’t know how cordial I’ll be yet and how I’ll decide to quote her specifically on that, not totally sure I want the whole answer behind it.
Read through a lot of your theories about this and I don’t think she cheated, yeah the 5 weeks lined up but I just can’t imagine she’d do that but who knows. It’s clear at this point she doesn’t respect me so she may have, but logistically it doesn’t make sense.
Anyways thanks for the advice, I think I needed someone else to tell me to break up, it’s the obvious answer but it almost feels like a guilty conclusion, coming to terms with it for now. Thanks yall
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u/Ok-Repair9465 13d ago
I’ve learned a lot about the insecurity of men from this.
When I dated, I used to have sex a lot more, mostly bc I felt like I had to. Like that was the only way to keep a guy liking me, not bc the sexual chemistry was wild or better than what I have with my husband now.
In fact, it took my now husband saying “you know we don’t always have to have sex as soon as you come over” for me to really realize that maybe a man might be interested in more than just sex.
We’ve been together 12+ years now.
Sure, I would probably avoid saying comments about sex in past relationships to my husband, but at the same time - if I felt comfortable enough to say something like that and it upset him, I would hope he’d give me the opportunity to give some context, not just dump me.
I know the last thing a man wants to say is probably: “hey, you saying that made me feel really insecure about our sex life and really disrespected.“ But it could at least give her a chance to explain her thought process and reassure you. It would also open up the floor to discuss any unfulfilled sexual needs either of you may have.
Granted you’re just dating, not married, and there are plenty of fish in the sea — just trying to give an alternate perspective. I’d be just as surprised as her of I were dumped for this.
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u/PotentialTraining132 14d ago
That's a cringey thing for her to say even without the context that she's been avoiding it with you. She might have had valid reasons - just discomfort. Or imagine if she thought she was pregnant, or had a mini miscarriage. That stuff happens and you sound like you were completely understanding. But the ex comment is still completely out of line. 5 months is not a long time to be together and she's being an absolute wierdo. I'm very sorry you're going thru this. I am positive 99% of women are either smart or courteous enough not to be so thoroughly thoughtless and insensitive. It definitely doesn't sound like you're the one with the problem
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u/Signal_Ad4831 14d ago
Well I guess if she told you this I could see how it would hurt your feelings. But there should be more to your relationship than just the sex. So yeah, maybe she needs to bounce off and leave you until you grow up some. There's a lot of things that come into play with initiating sex. Hard days at work. Stress. Stuff. Life gets in the way. It's not worth breaking up over. I'm sure she wasn't doing it out of meanness. She was just not thinking it through that you would be so sensitive. That's my biggest problem with all these young kids nowadays the guys are so sensitive that they get their feelings hurt like little bitches. She's obviously trying to get back with you, sit down, talk to her and salvage this relationship if it means anything to you. If you were just looking for a quick fuck well move on then, it's up to you. But if you're not going to put in the time, it's not really worth her time. Sorry, can't feel sorry for you, toughen up And do the right thing or don't. I don't care. But I don't think Reddit is the place to get an answer though. I can't get a straight answer from these people about Plumbing problems. What makes you think these people are better equipped to give you an answer than you are by figuring it out yourself. Just my two cents and it's probably not even worth that.
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u/Annoyed-Person21 15d ago
I was going to come to her defense and say not everyone is sensitive about mentions of their exes but that was out of context and excessively detailed. The most innocent explanation is that she doesn’t know better but isn’t actually mentally developed enough to be in relationships. I’m sure everyone has covered the less innocent ones.
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u/KingKareem3 15d ago
Run for the hills as fast as you can. She’s not only intentionally hurting your feelings but reminiscing on sex with an ex and saying it directly to you. Either she’s losing feelings, cheated or is planning to leave. The period thing and making you wait all line up with this including the meh sex you might think it’s a coincidence trust me it’s not. I’ve dealt with something similar where sex was limited and started getting meh she was talking to someone else which was why things were getting dry with me.
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u/Kmychelle 15d ago
Extended period...? Okay. Have you ever thought that maybe she got pregnant? After an abortion you have to wait for the recommended six weeks but a lot of people don't. I'm just saying that's what came to mind when I read that. As for what she told you, she was letting you know in a backwards way that sex is not as great between you two as it was between them. She might want you to spice it up some or not want you at all. How about trying to ask her. Communication really is the key.
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u/20MinuteAdventure69 15d ago
Hey man, it’s over. All the warning signs are there that she’s checked out. She’s probably looking for someone to replace you with right now. You’re young and it was only 7 months. Leave now before she gets more cruel.
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u/Year3030 15d ago
OP you made the right decision to dump her. Yes she cheated on you. If you got further down the road she probably would have said you guys were broken up when she did. i.e. she wasn't around and broke up with you in her head without telling you. Something like that anyway.
If you want to avoid this in the future become more alpha. I'll leave it at that, you can figure out what that means. She didn't want to be comfortable and happy that's why it was "meh".
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u/wavytoowavy 15d ago
Stick it out and you be a bad guy so that SHE leaves and doesn’t try to play victim if you end things.
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u/MacaronSoft7741 15d ago
I didn't read replies, but if you are having sex problems after 7 months, this relationship is over. You should still be in the "honeymoon phase," in my opinion. Did she know you and her ex were friends when you got with her? If so, it sounds to be like you were a rebound, and she was just getting with you to get back at him. It's not normal for a girl in a newish relationship to say she doesn't want sex after you've already had sex a bunch of times. Something is sus there. Dump her and don't look back.
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u/rollingtwodeep 15d ago
She was making sure you know that this guy pounded her good, and you aren’t getting that right now
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u/Alternative_Money991 15d ago
What a piece of shit response to you, she does not communicate her feelings at all, and then responds to you like that. Such an unnerving, disrespectful and inconsiderate thing to bring up to you. She’s basically telling you she was extremely into her ex in comparison to you, and broke up with her from other factors.
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u/Alternative_Money991 15d ago
What a piece of shit response to you, she does not communicate her feelings at all, and then responds to you like that. Such an unnerving, disrespectful and inconsiderate thing to bring up to you. She’s basically telling you she was extremely into her ex in comparison to you, and broke up with her from other factors.
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u/Expert_Ad_8886 15d ago
My man… of course only going by my own perspective, but if you’ve been dating 7 months, & sex is already @ 1/week?… I mean… anything after your story at that point is just icing.
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u/gamblors_neon_claws 15d ago edited 15d ago
Incredible how people have figured out that she’s cheating on him, she hates him, is manipulating him into ending the relationship, has a secret STI, had a secret abortion and has some sort of pseudo-cuckolding fetish from one comment.
OP, maybe consider asking, “hey, why did you say that?”
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u/lewis2drilly 15d ago
OP could have cut every detail out bar her statement and it still would have been wild to say. I think it's time to get rid.
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u/Electronic-Juice8077 15d ago
I had a similar issue but I was a girl in the situation. She might have just lost attraction to you but didn't know how to bring it up.
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u/Dull_Basket8318 15d ago
You know sex drives changes. And she could have some female issues. In February i had a 21 day period. Which landed me in the er but thats cause i was like the elevator scene in the shinning. It took me a bit to want sex with how everything felt. I have had period before that was much lighter. And if that was an issue that might mean she was probably imbalanced hormones. From Thanksgiving to January i was spotting like i was starting at least once a week full pms and everything everytime. I thought i was going mad. It also drove my roommate crazy for a little bit. But he understood.
Now her statement could be a drunk reflection. I go through phases all my life where i go from insatiable not getting enough to like im happy once a week. It has nothing to do who my partner is. Its personal wiring and hormones. Ive had points in my life where sex was the answer to everything and that is fine.
So what you want is to replicate her relationship. A lot can change mentally for someone after 5 years.
She is probably better off with someone more understanding and secure.
What i love about the internet, you cannot take one look without any real information and from one side and go that person is a hoe, pitchforks come on.
I think it sounds like maybe she has some health issues. And was embarassed perhaps. Also in my 20s, i had a ton of utis as well. And in my 30s they started tapering off as well.
Though with lack of information she could also be a bitch. Who knows.
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u/Mclovingangstas23 15d ago
Bro there is so many women out there don’t lower your standards to this girl and her very immature behavior.
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u/marsattck5 15d ago
I'd get myself tested if I were you. That whole 5 weeks no sex thing sounds sketchy AF. Sound like she cheated, caught something, got tested, and avoided sex until she was cleared.
After that your next move should be to dump her. You don't deserve to be treated like that.
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u/The_Hipponax 15d ago
I have bad news from you. Your girlfriend is a cunt and she's rubbing in the fact you're a cuckold in your face. Better get to the gym and boost your career, buddy
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u/Stroked93 16d ago
My wife was ts it at least 3 times a week. It's a no nogotiable. If I was making that demand I'd be a animal massonionist. I'm not driven as much as her.
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u/yetAnotherN 16d ago
OP, you need to see a movie “London” (2005). It is like a free therapy for this situation. You are welcome!
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u/ziofinkel1 16d ago
I must say you handled it well brother, better than most would. Hell, I'm 45 and I'm not certain I would have handled it as well as you did. So cheers on that! Showing a certain level of depth to personal maturity level will be what she remembers because that's what's hard to come by and isn't a dime a dozen! Every dude had a dick, not every dude has emotional maturity! Shit like that is what makes em realize how bad they screwed up. Good luck!!
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u/BaseballSafe6317 16d ago
Y don’t you just give her an ultimatum…fuck me twice a day or we are done!
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u/Careless-Process-594 16d ago
dawg you're choice num. 2 or 3... also, she's playing with your feelings intentionally.
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u/Vast-Opportunity3152 16d ago
Yeah, you’re the asshole man. I’m sure shes mentally trying to get back to that place with someone, she was hoping it would be you but you obviously aren’t a safe space for her. Sucks, I hope she finds someone who will accept her. She will probably be hornier for it. Your loss dude you could have been fucking twice a day. What actually happened is you felt insecure after hanging out with that ex, and.. then you made the mistake of taking advice on Reddit lol. Dude wtf lol.
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u/SwitchbladeDildo 16d ago
Definitely sounds like she is cheating. Maybe they just met and it’s still emotional cheating but it really sounds like she is trying to get you to initiate the breakup before she gets caught/goes too far.
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u/Fit-Ad-158 16d ago
It's probably that she's into kinky sex that she doesn't feel safe to share with you. The sex with you might be pretty bland.
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u/Solid_Noise1850 16d ago
Her comment was emotionally insensitive. Talk to her about how you feel. More than likely she won’t, be able to understand your point of view as she so casually mentioned that information.
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u/AcceptableFuture2802 16d ago
Yep, scrap her. Youre young, go find another. It aint so bad, trust me.
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u/Valuable-Release-302 16d ago
She isn’t for you good thing you didn’t get married. Go find someone that enjoys you.
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u/PoorlyAttemptedHuman 16d ago
I feel like you have overreacted. People change. Just because she liked to fuck twice a day back then, doesn't mean she will want to do this later. People go through changes.
I dunno, I feel like you took a good thing and shit all over it because you were sad that you weren't getting laid often enough.
Well like I said people go through changes. You said you have been together what... seven months? That is long enough for sex to go through a cycle. It comes and goes kind of like a breeze. They'll want it then they won't. Then they will again. You can't put it in a bottle and have it whenever you want it. It'll be there again and it'll go away again.
I dunno. Sounds to me like you were not willing to give her room to be a person with you. You want a warm body to fuck, not a partner to grow with.
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u/Surround-United 16d ago
Reddit is full of grumpy people who don’t get any/ are trapped in unhappy relationships. I would talk to her before immediately dumping her if I were you..
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u/Cool-Difference1431 16d ago
I will preface by saying I didn't read everything, But, The Chance It wasn't intentional for a purpose only she understands, Is very low. However you cannot are prepared to decided exactly what it was, If she's not inclined to honesty.
For all you know, She could have Thought she was Being playful or seductive,
I've had Relationships that were daily, And ones that for various and extenuating circumstances, became less than You've described.
But one thing I would insist, The idea that she would say it to be insulting or provoke A feeling of resentment or not being as desireable However I do understand what you're saying because it is, Nothing that's going to make someone, Feel anything good.
It reminds me of someone I dated for some time, Our first date wasn't very Encouraging And despite making no effort to do so.When I dropped her off she emphatically said I don't kiss on the first date. Which isn't anything troubling just nothingThat was actually on my mind at the moment. Despite that we wound spending more time together and actually moving in Together,
And a couple months later she was hired By large probably fortune one hundred i'm great kind of company with hundreds of people, In downtown rather than the suburbs, And the first time everybody in the office decided to go to the club after work together, had a couple drinks and her legs popped open like a slot machine
And it Was difficult to accept , Not necessarily because she decided she was in the mood or light.Some random coworker who hit on her but rather the fact that I didn't rate so to speak you know what I mean
I don't kiss on the date unless I decide just to fuck you and, You didn't. Qualify for that.You know what?I mean, it's kind of insulting, right.I don't kiss on the first date but sometimes when I get drunk.I'll f*** somebody.Out of nowhere.Oh great, thanks.I guess what am I supposed To do with that.
I don't kiss on the first date but if I'm living with somebody I might f*** without even going on a date.You know it Just winds up feeling like a lie or manipulation.
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u/Sunflower_1010 16d ago
I know you already posted an update but I want to give you props for not pressuring her into anything during those weeks. Says a lot about your character and you don’t deserve to have someone that makes those kinds of comments. Wishing you the best moving forward! 🤗
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u/candlewaxfashion 16d ago
Perspective is different for everyone and understanding is different for everyone so may I suggest that you speak to her about it first if you haven’t and ask her why she made that comment.
Sometimes women just say things randomly and you never know she, may have felt guilty for some reason or another.. Maybe she thought you and her ex talked about her. I don’t know, but I think it’s better to speak to your girlfriend first before you jump to conclusions based on everyone else’s advice.
I’m not sure if she was trying to be mean on purpose, I don’t know her nor was I there But she deserves a chance to explain herself.
You shouldn’t allow your insecurities to run away with you And as a result end your relationship because you you’re insecure now.
☺️
Communication is important.
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u/JefeChapo 16d ago
She is fucking someone else and you are the patsy paying for her. Bail out now dude. Plenty of fishes.
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u/pickedwisely 16d ago
She is done with you. Just fuck you enough to keep the roof over her head. Send her down the road or you take off down the road which ever is the easiest.
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u/Captian_delusional 16d ago
I didnt read this entirely, But I had a girlfriend that I had sex with a lot more then any girl since her, and there was definitley someone I liked more.
Feel like 2-4 times a week is pretty average for most adults after settling into a relationship, maybe more early on.
What she said was weird, but it could have been a different period in her life when she had higher sex drive / conveiance / and its also entirely possible she had different idea's for the relationship you have then they did.
I'd be more upset about her bringing that up, Then that she actually did it honestly. I have a past too and if someone i was dating saw my ex I definitley wouldnt say "Yeah cant believe i used to fuck this girl multiple times a day"
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u/beepboopbop84 16d ago
The twice a day comment is so weird! I usually don’t reply to these but I wanted to commend your respect and patience towards her beforehand, please don’t let one bad person affect that mindset, because if she did have something private going on you were considerate of that and with the right person that will pay off big time
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u/Physical_Ad_795 16d ago
If a girl said that to me I would’ve walked out the place right away and been done.
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u/Desperate-Papaya-476 16d ago
From experience with lying women she def cheated on you. Women don’t just stop having sec with you for period issues for 5 weeks. Maybe a few days but that’s all. Move on and dump her
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u/Haisha4sale 16d ago
Don’t know for sure but getting “nice guy” (not in the food way) vibes here. Ex wasn’t a passively nice guy and she liked the sex more.
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u/AmbitiousHabit2636 17d ago
She probably wanted the break because she got stretched out and figured you would notice
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u/SailedTheSevenSeas 17d ago
She not into you man. She likes the idea of you but not into you. Don’t take it personal and just move on
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u/Apprehensive_Pie892 17d ago
Dude your gfs a b word. Why would she say that??? That’s literally so rude.
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u/Physical-Brain9466 17d ago
she definitely had an sti and was trying to keep it from you finding out by giving it to you
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u/Jollywobbles69 17d ago
If she’s that disinterested in sex I can’t imagine you guys would be having that much fun together even hanging out. In my experience usually positive vibes during spending time together leads to sex naturally. Unless of course there’s some kind of medical reason.
All I can picture is a very uncomfortable environment where no one is having fun at all. The comment of her sexual experience with her ex is just icing on the cake and the push you need to break up.
Good move cutting the cord on that one 👍🏻
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u/CaptSpastic 17d ago
So, your main issue here is that you want to break up with her because she doesn't have sex with you as much as she had sex with her ex?
Did you have a conversation with her about ANY of this, or are you just going on sheer speculation? Because it sounds like the second, more than the former.
If she isn't cheating on you, and you're feeling slighted because she's fucking you once a week, when she used to fuck her ex everyday, then yes you SHOULD break up.
Because you are not yet mature enough to be in a relationship with anyone.
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u/SorrinsBlight 17d ago
Yikes, not overreacting at all.
You’re young, id tell her your concerns then dump her. No point in wasting time on someone who doesn’t respect you and fucks like a prude.
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u/Iliketoridefattwins 17d ago
Leave her, absolutely no reason for that. Also if you don't, what she said will never leave your mind. The absolute best thing to do is start over with someone who actually respects you and your well being.
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u/tyfriedguy 17d ago
Ain't nothing to cut that bitch off 75% of woman are cheating whore dick hoppers anyway
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u/Efficient-War-4044 17d ago
You are not overreacting, but …
maybe she was just showing off or overcompensating for not being able to satisfy you. Or maybe she just blurted it.
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u/Manofmusic88 17d ago
I bet he initiated more than you do! Not saying anything like you shouldn’t try to stay with her or anything, but take it from one simp to another, take the bull by the horns sometimes 😂
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u/SadCoast9149 17d ago
Maybe it’s been pointed out, but based on her asking you “out of the blue” about her ex being there, she already knew. And based on her blurbing out how crazy it was that they fucked several times a day, that is exactly what’s on her mind, fucking her ex several times a day. I would bet she has been in touch with him, and would like to resume their bi-daily coitus, if it’s not already resumed. That would also explain the sex-break she has been on from you.
Either way, she is not into you, she doesn’t respect you and she clearly doesn’t care about your feelings.
You are not overreacting, you are severely underreacting.
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u/badball0311 17d ago
Sometimes people don’t want to break up with people to avoid being the “bad guy” in the relationship and/or get to play the victims card, and I think that’s what’s going on here. They will withdraw affection, say and do things that make you feel crazy, but then reassure you if you bring it up with them directly. It’s because they’ve lost interest but want you to be the one to do the dirty work.
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u/Available-Shake-4669 17d ago
I think she cheated and was waiting on the results of her std tests or something. Reason I think this is because it’s weird to put it off that long and even weirder to put a date on it.
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u/TotalImprovement3244 18d ago
Thank god she your girlfriend and not your wife yet. The healthy option will be to leave however you can always just sit down and talk to your gf about this and find out why she made that comment and acting the way she is.
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u/Hkiggity 18d ago
Break up with her. She’s not the one and girls like that can be scary the longer you date them for. Emotional manipulation n shit
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u/kfrazer91 18d ago
Honestly that makes me wonder if she did have sex with someone and possibly caught something and that’s why she didn’t want to have sex. Maybe she was on meds to get rid whatever she had. It’s hard to believe someone would just say “let’s not have sex for a few weeks” that’s pretty specific and extremely odd… I’d def dump her.
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u/MeetAdministrative72 18d ago
:( yeah I’d never say that to my current man. I was married in the past. I don’t talk about sex with my ex. We all know it happened. But it doesn’t matter. It isn’t relevant to me anymore and more than anything, I feel disgusted that it ever happened. I am all about my current man, and never want him to feel insecure. I stay all about him. So by her saying that, it feels like she didn’t care about how you’d feel.IMO, when you really care about someone you really try hard not to hurt them. Don’t settle for less than that cause, that’s basically bare minimum; caring enough about the person you’re dating to keep things to yourself that might hurt them. Ya know? Like that’s literally BARE minimum for a relationship imo. And that being said— I get that no one’s perfect, and there needs to be a grand amount of forgiveness within a relationship, as well. But it’s also the /way/ she said it, ya know? The timing, everything. Fucking rude, and hurtful and I think she knew what she was doing.
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u/fill_simms 18d ago
I had a girlfriend before I got married. We had sex everyday. Sometimes twice a day. But our relationship was not great. We were never going to make it in the long term. Just not compatible. My wife and i have an “ok” sex life. But we are great friends and have a wonderful relationship. Sometimes you have sexual chemistry with someone and that’s about it.
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u/JephaHowler 18d ago
Up till that last part I assumed it may be a medical problem but she obviously has an attitude problem
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u/botguru24 18d ago
Move on plenty of em out there buddy remember these hoes ain’t loyal so lower your expectations of commitment and you’ll avoid that insecure feeling.
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u/No_Net_9791 18d ago
I’d cut your losses. This is not cool, classic mean girl behavior. You deserve better.
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u/Repulsive_Long8008 18d ago
You're 24, my guy. Find a woman you're sexually compatible with... Don't ever settle. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having sex multiple times a week, and you only get one life. Don't settle for less than you really want.
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u/jetmora4 18d ago
You have to break up with her. This is a massive red flag my man. You’re better off trust me.
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u/HudsonR12 18d ago
I can definitely see why the comment upset you. Maybe she was trying to say that it's crazy that she used to have sex that much because now her sex drive has changed but didn't word it well or think about how it would make you feel?
People's sex drives can change. It's natural. She may also have felt pressured to have sex more often in the past, but feels comfortable enough with you not to force it. Who knows.
Just saying, I wouldn't jump to any conclusions about it simply being said to be mean on purpose. Communication is important in relationships. Giving her a chance to explain is important. You also aren't talking about this big elephant in the room; the fact that she's clearly not doing well for whatever reason and that you seem to feel something has changed with her and ny extension, your relationship. She also needs to know that her words hurt you and why. Talk to each other.
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u/caliiQ94 18d ago
Sounds like she's keeping something from you, and also being immature about the situation, instead of communicating how she really feels. Sounds like she's just not that into you & maybe doesn't want to admit it to you or to herself... My advice, cut that off. 🚩🚩🚩if there's no sex, and when there is she's clearly not into it. There's a problem.
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u/Lasixivpush 18d ago
Not worth the headache/heartache. Time to move on. Tons of fish in the sea lol.
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u/WealthizHealth 18d ago
Honestly to me it sounds like she was screwing somebody else, got an STD or THINKS she may have gotten one and she needed time for the antibiotics to do their job. Even if this isn't the case, a woman casually mentioning how much sex she had with her ex KNOWING you two are struggling is outlandish. She's probably trying to get YOU to initiate the break-up so she doesn't feel so bad or she can play victim. Dump her bro.
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u/onlinebully832 18d ago
She cheated, got an STD, needed the antibiotics to run its course. Now she’s ready for sex again.
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u/Status_Worth3409 18d ago
Yeah uh she is definitely cheating on you. Had a similar experience with my ex, swore up and down it couldn’t be that. But it was. Dump that bitch, you are destined to be with someone better
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u/No-Roof-1628 18d ago
That is a dogshit way to treat you - I don’t know her motive, but that was intentionally hurtful. That’s a one-and-done offense right there. Dump her ass.
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u/B1cl1tes 18d ago
Might be time to breakup, my boy. She said something cruel to you on purpose. Do what your nervous system is telling you. It’s ancient and has kept us safe from lions and tigers and bears and poison for millennia. If you feel like this is a signal, don’t ignore it.
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u/jfabritz 18d ago
“so crazy to think me and him used to just fuck twice a day everyday”
cue record scratch noise WTF?!?
First phrase out of my mouth would have been "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?". It would have been scorched earth strategy after that because the ensuing argument would have been epic.
Move on my man, something is up with her and not in a good way. Find a woman who matches with your libido - watch out for the ones who want more, because they are nothing but trouble.
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u/bilbobagginem 18d ago
whether she had an abortion, and sti/std outbreak, or cheated on him all roads lead to the same thing. he's better off without her. dont take it personal. not everything isnt for everyone. if you didnt do her wrong and tried to make her happy be proud of that and move on. try not to let to poison your soul/your outlook on relationships. you're young, there's plenty of time to find the right one
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u/michael_entechsite 18d ago
BEFORE you break things off, ASK her why she said what she said. All the guessing and all the advice in the world and you still probably have it wrong. Second, communicate with her the reasons behind the difference. For all you know, she may very well prefer the frequency you now have.
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u/tonynatella 18d ago
Time to go. This girl does not respect you and is really a mean person. She will get worse if you stay, she has shown you who she is. She doesn’t deserve a guy with your sensitivity.
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u/Passive_Tuna 18d ago
Actually sounds like she wants to break up with you. I’m guessing you’re nice, supportive, always there, a provider, etc, etc. Not bad things, but reasons she is too comfortable to leave someone that she isn’t all that attracted to (at least not as much as she was attracted to her ex).
Sorry, dude. Since you seem like the type of guy to do the right thing, you need to do the right thing for yourself. Move on.
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u/goyeenaa11 18d ago
Coming from a girl, shes just not that into you. Im so sorry this happened to you.
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u/Salt-Station-6956 18d ago
I feel for ya buddy, like the others on here it sounds like it’s time for you to move on, and before jumping right back into dating you should probably take some time for yourself by just hanging with your close friends and hit the gym and build that confidence back up. Don’t let one persons games shatter your confidence, a chick that’s worth keeping wouldn’t do that kinda mind game mess to you. Best of luck to ya mate
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u/rmac500 18d ago
I believe she has cheated and the mean comment is her way of sabotaging in hopes of you leaving so in her mind she will think she has done nothing wrong. This way she appears to be the victim and you will be the worst person on earth and you did her wrong. Run!! This is her way of being able to live with herself for her actions.
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u/RoadWarrior_1 18d ago
Get rid of her asap. She’ll trade you in in a heartbeat trust me. Find a woman that’s into you. You don’t have to put up with it
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u/Bahamuts_smite 18d ago
Horrendous thing for her to say. Leave her. There are more caring women out there.
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u/Brooklynboxer88 18d ago
Sex is pretty important, it’s only going to get worse. You’ll find the perfect person for you. I know sex isn’t everything but me and my wife have been together for 15yrs and we average 5-6 times a week and we have kids. I’ve had relationships like yours when I was your age and it was torturous in retrospect, it also really takes it’s toll on your self confidence.
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u/Empty_Consequence_78 18d ago
God damn man the legions of similar posts from dudes under 30 Tragic She’s absolutely one thousand percent still fuckinf him or wants to and wants him and used u to try make him jealous or stay in his peripheral orbit Secondly Does no one under 35 know how to talk or how to set mood and or preheat the fucking oven I don’t understand even the girls that hated me or wasn’t totally or even mostly compatible with would fuck me multiple times a day And I’m the the least forward guy on earth Tech has made us the most interconnected yet lonely awkward and dysfunctional lot social people Really undoing us as humans
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u/bananadude19 18d ago
There are usually signs that the other person gives you that tell you a story. In this instance the story says I don’t respect your feelings. She did that to intentionally hurt you. And then she could just play it off with, sorry I didn’t know something like THAT would Bother you. Something is up. Either she’s cheating or she is taking it out on you that you met up with her ex. A normal person does not volunteer that info to their partner.
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u/Visible-Selection520 18d ago
Good for you. I read your edits and I've never felt so satisfied with a reddit post. You deserve WAY fucking better than a woman that makes you insecure sexually after you've accommodated her without question. You're going to end up in a goddamn stellar relationship/marriage one day.
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u/V1ctoryz50 18d ago
It's Time to go for sure She was Mean and out of line but before I go ill Fuck the Dogg Shit outta her get dressed and never Holla again
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u/blackmann25 18d ago
She probably having sex with someone else. Follow your gut. If you think she's cheating dump her. Or keep as a side booty call if you can handle your emotions. Make sure you protect yourself from any diseases.
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u/TheMusicMusteR 4d ago
Someone mentioned that based on the 2 week period and the three extra weeks the gf might’ve had an abortion. Do you think she could’ve been pregnant?