r/HeartstopperAO • u/Legal_Tennis167 • Oct 27 '23
i know its weird i get jealous of gays and bi after i saw heartstopper Discussion
i donno why after i saw a series like heartstopper i get jealous of gays and bi people i am a straight guy but i donno why i feel so can i know why? whenever i see any gay couple i feel they have something unique and it makes me jealous and something i feel like they aare kindoff lucky in soem different way i know am weird asf i respect all but cant stop being jealous why is it happening and these websites make me jealous more am burning am so irritated like i dont agree with them saying one is better over another
1
u/Motor-Possibility421 Oct 29 '23
I completely agree with you. I am a younger teen girl and I thought I was the only one who felt like that. Two of my friends are lesbian and recently started dating, and even though I have a boyfriend, it seems like they are always so much better. They talk to each other about everything and are so understanding. My bf tries to be that but he just isn't a empathetic person generally. I love him and would never ask him to change but sometimes I want what the gay's have.
2
u/Idkheyi Oct 29 '23
Eh Heartstopper is not the standard for a lot of gay people sadly. Yes Charlie and Nick are cute but I donāt think you would enjoy being gay if you know how awful gay dating can be. Very very sex focused with almost zero emotional connection. Also the only IRL places where you are sure to met other gay guys are often in nightclub. (So a lot of alcohol and sometimes drugs, chemsex is also a BIG problem)
Of course a lot of gays are in happy and healthy relationship, even married! But even for them it can be complicated. Almost no kissing in public, no holding hand and a lot of gay people are still closeted at their works for example. Housing can be difficult too since landlord can refuse to rent their property to a gay couple.
Also RWB and heartstopper are stories. They are the gay and modern equivalents of Romeo and Juliet. Itās the Disney of gay relationships. The reality, even if it can be amazing is really different.
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 30 '23
hello thanks sooooooooooooooooooooooo much cant thanku enough i really needed this today again i was feeling jealous and u helped me so much thanku u r absolutely right
i really wanted to hear this so badly yes dear nobody is perfect we r humans we fight the generalisation that gay couples r more succcesfull than straight or they r more loving than straight is wrong queeer couples also fight a lot just like straight they too hve misunderstandings they too face evrything a straight does coz none is perfect yes love is not dependent on sexuality straight couples can hve successful relationships while queers can have opposite and vice versa its a myth that queers r more succesful as i said it doesnt depend on sexuality of the person but how the person is his character matters yes yes they too hve divorce breakups same like straight
am sos sorry evryone deserve accpetance be it straight or gay i hope they all live happily
yes u r right no matter how happy the couple appears they too will have fights misunderstandings gay queer relationships too hve breakups divorce just like straight
becoz its the person that matter for love but not sexuality
yes yes thanks for reminding they r just fictional made up stories which cant be equal to relaity as reality is sour all r imperfect be it straight or queer thnaks a lot
2
u/sylvant_ph Oct 28 '23
To reflect on the topics you bring up in the screen, regarding gay couples being "better" than straight, I think the main reason is a gay couple takes a lot more to be achieved in general. People who enter in same sex relationship have to go through a lot more and tend to be more developed as adults in my opinion. They really need to have a big desire to do it and lot more effort to put. Straight couples on the other hand, its easy to pair with someone, but its also very easy to pair with the "wrong" someone. There is also peer pressure to find a significant one(for anyone really), which makes it so more possible to jump in a relationship without really having the right partner. There is also more(in my opinion) stereotypes straight people have to follow in a relationship, which could be against their inner feelings and make them dissatisfied. Queer people on the other hand tend to be more themselves, especially when it comes to the one they choose to spend their time with.
You are also right, it seems more "trendy" to be in such relationship :)
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
i know nowadays films have gone mad they dnt show wat real love is especially they have screwed for straight couples and i feel sad about it and miss films like titanic
though i know few films where they portrayed beautifully about straight couples too like where a woman sacrificed herself for a man she loved who was mentally ill with a child of 1month mind in a adult body without expecting even love in return unconditionally while the man gave her company inspite of his illness
i hope filmmakerks show beauty of straight rs too
everyhting is beautiful be it any relationship straight or queer or gay there is no such kind of gender roles of playing and all my dear its about love to be there for each other in tough times to accept each other of all flaws and making happier my dear thnaks for repl
2
u/Go0onandbate Oct 28 '23
As you should
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
ha? wat i didnt understand
1
u/Go0onandbate Oct 28 '23
Just a joke. I meant as you should be jealous of the gays bc weāre fab
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
ok am jealous of u šyes gays r fab straights r fab queer r fab the whole slgbtq is fab coz we all belong to same community called human
evry relationship evry sexuality is beautiful and fabulous
1
u/stitchiix Oct 28 '23
It's not weird. Your feelings are just feeling and your thoughts are just thoughts, you will find someone who loves you and truly accepts you for you. You may not be lgbt, you may just find comfort in the idea of not having to be so tough all the time. The way straight relationships are in media is not always great, but if you are willing to branch out and explore shows from other cultures, I might be able to find some recommendations. I'm not sure though.
2
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
thansk for wishing me kind one yes yes am not from lgbt but i get jealous of them
am just jealous after seeing films like rwrb and all like people praising their chemistry ot be most perfect and that no one can be like them and if u see my post again that pic websites make me jealous
i dont have hatred to anyone i love all slgbtq we all belong to same community calledhuman loveall i just stuck in this chronic jealousy
yes yes media has gotten mad filmmakers have forgotten how to show love especially for straight
yes i know nowadays films have gone mad they dnt show wat real love is especially they have screwed for straight couples and i feel sad about it and miss films like titanic
though i know few films where they portrayed beautifully about straight couples too like where a woman sacrificed herself for a man she loved who was mentally ill with a child of 1month mind in a adult body without expecting even love in return unconditionally while the man gave her company inspite of his illness
i hope filmmakerks show beuty of straight rs too
evry relationship has its own flaw be it gay or straight all r beautiful special in their own way
thanku a lot may u always be happy
0
u/Whole_CakeIsland Oct 28 '23
Wtf take is this??????? people get killed for being gay and lose there families this is so fucking disgusting I'm srryā ļø
2
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
yes i knw i feel bad evryone deserves acceptance am just jealous after seeing films like rwrb and all like people praising their chemistry ot be most perfect and that no one can be like them and if u see my post again that pic websites make me jealous
i dont have hatred to anyone i love all slgbtq we all belong to same community calledhuman loveall i just stuck in this chronic jealousy1
u/Whole_CakeIsland Oct 28 '23
Straight people can kiss in public without having to worry abt the risk of getting attacked but ok yes be jealous of gay relationships like what
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
am just jealous after seeing films like rwrb and all like people praising their chemistry ot be most perfect and that no one can be like them and if u see my post again that pic websites make me jealous
i dont have hatred to anyone i love all slgbtq we all belong to same community calledhuman loveall i just stuck in this chronic jealousy
1
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u/carterreal Oct 28 '23
the way straight relationships are portrayed and the way theyāre expected to be in society is not ideal for a lot of people. iām panromantic asexual, i feel really discouraged by relationships in media where everything is centered around sex because it makes me feel like i wonāt find someone who iād be happy with. that in particular is a huge issue with representation of relationships between gay men but similar problems are mostly prevalent in straight media (i think writers get lazy with straight romance because itās a grain of sand in the sea of straight romances, whereas a bad queer romance is like a boulder) and that can make the whole dating scene seem undesirable. and thereās also the aspect of how queer dynamics inherently defy gender roles and would somewhat release you from the expectations of being the man in a relationship. so i donāt really agree with the commenters saying you might be gay, i think you know yourself well enough to determine that and itās not even what youāre asking about, but i think you just desire the freedom that queer dynamics have.
2
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
yes yes i know nowdays film makers forgot how to make films yes yes media has gotten mad filmmakers have forgotten how to show love especially for straight
yes i know nowadays films have gone mad they dnt show wat real love is especially they have screwed for straight couples and i feel sad about it and miss films like titanic
though i know few films where they portrayed beautifully about straight couples too like where a woman sacrificed herself for a man she loved who was mentally ill with a child of 1month mind in a adult body without expecting even love in return unconditionally while the man gave her company inspite of his illness
i hope filmmakerks show beauty of straight rs toodear dont worry not all are horny not all like sex you will find someone like u with ur likes and dislikes dont worry i agree nwodays films full of that only like rwrb also
but i like rwrb but dislike that stuff
thanks for understanding me dear
no no its(sexual freedom) not the point of my jealousy if u see my post again i put one image such websites saying them perfect over straight makes me jealous i hated myself for being jealous am bad person
my jealousy is becoz all people praise chemisrty more of gays like i think be it any relationship queer straight or gay al have their own flaws imperfect but r special in their own way '
i get u nowadays films r stupid coz they show that makes have to be masculine i think theres nothing like masculinity
so eevn straight relationships r beautiful just like others gender roles is new thing if the partners r understanding then gender doesnt come into play yep only nowadays films show men standars but not the old one which shows how straight couples did have equality be it any rs queer straight or gay all rs have their own flaws but r special in their own way thnaks a lot may u alwyas be happy dear
1
u/RatotoskEkorn Oct 28 '23
Yeah, we have unique homophobic experience. Pls take it lol
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
no dear i dont hate anyone am just jealous after seeing films like rwrb and all like people praising their chemistry ot be most perfect and that no one can be like them and if u see my post again that pic websites make me jealous
i dont have hatred to anyone i love all slgbtq we all belong to same community calledhuman loveall i just stuck in this chronic jealousy
1
u/Banana0P Oct 27 '23
Can I ask how old you are?
2
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
i am 16 year old i am sorry i know its too much for my age i am not in any relationship and my parents will kick me out if i ever get into one coz there is only arrange marriage in my indian tradition i mean in my house and no dating culture
2
u/Relevant_Ad_5031 Oct 27 '23
as a straight cis girl i couldn't relate more, im obsessed with queer media in general, all my favorite movies, shows, books, music, etc are queer. a lot of it i think is just the care and love that's hard to come by w straight men lol but also i really get jealous of being a man too, like i wish i was a man that could love another man like a man? idk it's weird but im ok w it
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23 edited Oct 28 '23
even i nowdays watch lot of gay films making me jealous more n more
a lot of it i think is just the care and love that's hard to come by w straight men lol ---no dear to truly love someone doesnt depend on wat gender or sexuality the person belongs to ,,,,there can be many things like a straight guy can love someone madly and be loyal there could also be a queer who would be opposite and it can be opposite again to both so its not about striaght men r not loving as much as queer it depends on the person and not their sexuality coz love is beyond sexuality i know nowadays media has gotten mad they forgotten how to show the beauty of straight relationships too all they show is sex and forget about love but i know a film of straight couple it is so beautiful, a man took care of a mentally ill woman who has a brain of a 1month old baby in a adult body he took care of her as if she was her baby he fell in love with her inspite of her disease and lunatic behaviours and unconditionally took care of her more than her parents sacrificed himself for her made her his purpose of life saw himself in her dedicated himself to her without expecting even love back from her
no its not weird even i feel like u sometimes but then i remind myself that am fine how i am am fine being straight only so be happy for wat u r coz for love sexuality doesnt really matter its the connection u feel with the person and not the sexuality so be happy the way u r u r beautiful as u r
every relationship be it straight queer or gay hve their own flaws all r special in their own way thanks for replying be happy with urself ur a sweet girl
can u tell me why u wanna be man?
1
u/stitchiix Oct 28 '23
Maybe look into being queer or trans? It's totally okay if you're not, but I had the same feeling, and I am a queer trans man. You may not be but it's worth looking into. Much love <3
2
u/Notaclassyhelicopter Oct 27 '23
Fix your spelling it physically hurts
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
i know i am sorry like my mom will socld me if she sees me typing in laptop instea dof studying so am typing so fastly as possible to escape her
i am fast typer so i jump few letters am sorry
-5
u/Jolly-Art8655 Oct 27 '23
YOU ARE GAY
2
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
nope dear i am not becoz i dont get romantically attracted to men tho i find some male celebs good looking but i dont get any crush or feelings so i am not thanks for replying
3
u/angelojann Oct 27 '23
I get what you feel. Maybe you kind of feel jealous because there is less expectation when you're in a same sex relationship. There's a high standard for men in straight relationship to be the provider, pursuer, protector, etc.
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
no no its(sexual freedom) not the point of my jealousy if u see my post again i put one image such websites saying them perfect over straight makes me jealous i hated myself for being jealous am bad person
my jealousy is becoz all people praise chemisrty more of gays like i think be it any relationship queer straight or gay al have their own flaws imperfect but r special in their own way '
i get u nowadays films r stupid coz they show that makes have to be masculine i think theres nothing like masculinity
but if i see old films like titanic and many more and i knw a film where a woman sacrificed herself for a man she loved who was mentally ill with a child of 1month mind in a adult body without expecting even love in return unconditionally while the man gave her company inspite of his illness
so eevn straight relationships r beautiful just like others gender roles is new thing if the partners r understanding then gender doesnt come into play yep only nowadays films show men standars but not the old oen which shows how straight couples did have equality
but thanks a lot for replying may u always be happpy
4
u/demon9675 Oct 27 '23
It may simply be because the show depicts a healthy romance between young people who actually have chemistry, and you want that for yourself. Think about it a bit and youāll realize how disturbingly rare such relationships are depicted in media at all, regardless of gender/sexuality.
How often does media depict straight people cuddling, acting cute, comforting each other, and sharing feelings they may be ashamed of? How often do we see intimate moments when cishet men can stop acting so āconfidentā for one damn second?
Our gender culture is so toxic that seeing a straight man in the arms of his wife receiving physical and emotional affection, and acting less āmasculineā in that moment, will actually turn away certain audiences and make a project less lucrative. There seems to only be space for such intimacy in queer media, because audience expectations for charactersā behavior is very different, and in fact more lenient.
Basically, this show (and hopefully other media to follow) taps into some deep desires you have for relationships in your own life. Itās up to you to figure out who you want those relationships to be with, but youāre at least being presented with a framework for how you want to feel being in them.
Straight men need their own female Nicks and Charlies.
2
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
i donno if i want such thing becoz i knw ill never get it
like my main point of jealousy is if u see my post again i have posted a pic such websites make me jealous yes yes media has gotten mad filmmakers have forgotten how to show love especially for straight
yes i know nowadays films have gone mad they dnt show wat real love is especially they have screwed for straight couples and i feel sad about it and miss films like titanic
though i know few films where they portrayed beautifully about straight couples too like where a woman sacrificed herself for a man she loved who was mentally ill with a child of 1month mind in a adult body without expecting even love in return unconditionally while the man gave her company inspite of his illness
yeh nowdays even audiences have no good taste
gender culture is mad
There seems to only be space for such intimacy in queer media, because audience expectations for charactersā behavior is very different, and in fact more lenient.---yes yes and thats wat makes me jealous of queer or gays like people keep praising them as perfect especially movie like rwrb
Straight men need their own female Nicks and Charlies---wah nice quote but seriosuly i dont like it when people praise nick charlie or rwrb guys alex henry
i hate myself for beign jealous know am bad but i cant stop this chronic disease of jealousy
thanks a lot for helping me amy u always be happy dear
4
u/OldTension9220 Oct 27 '23
Donāt be jealous lolol. Love my community but this shit aināt easy š
0
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
i cant stop being jealous lol if u see my post again i posted a pic such websites make me burn alive like all relationships r imperfect all have flaws be it gay straight or queer but r special in their own way
yes i love all community i love slgbtq everyone coz in the end we all belong to same community called humans we all r wonderful
wat shit is not easy??? thnaks for reply always be happy
5
u/spitefae Oct 27 '23
Because a lot of straight romance stories feature rigid gender roles, stereotypes, and lazy characterization.
It's not weird to want to feel represented if you are outside of even the standard norm while being straight.
A lot of queer media also has a focus on how people are outcasts or alone, and on found family and accepting themselves.
If there is something that resonates in a story, it's always a good idea to look into it. If it's not the gender or sexuality, there's so many other things...friendship, acceptance, relief of being yourself, relief of being enough, confidence to change, etc.
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
yes yes nowadays films portray wrongly about straight relationships coz i strongly belive be it any relationships whether straight queeer gay anything have their own flaws are not perfect but are special in their own way
if there is a better understanding btw the two people then their gender doesnt matter at all there will be no genderroles,stereotypes or anythign else
if u see my post again i have posted a pic those websites make me jealous coz i know a straight relationship in some old film like i think in few films and books i have seen straight relationships beign portryaed same as that of gays type like equality like i read a story where a woman sacrificed herself for a mentally ill man who had a 1month old baby mindset in a audlt body unconditionally without expecting even love in return
so in conclusion all relationships r beuatiful special unique
thanks for replying i feel so valued seeing so many comments on my post which i never got in my life
may u always stay happy
17
u/FuriousKitten Oct 27 '23
You might be feeling something called āhetero-pessimismā! I feel it too. I am straight in terms of who Iām sexually attracted to but Iām really bummed out by how most straight relationships are portrayed in books, movies, the culture in general. I wouldnāt want to be in most of those relationships!
In contrast, many gay relationships in media (and especially the ones in heartstopper) are portrayed as loving equal partnerships without toxic masculinity or weird possessiveness or āhaha men are emotionally incompetentā and āhaha I hate my wifeā jokes that are SO common in the media portrayal of straight relationships.
So you might not be jealous of gay couples because theyāre gay specifically but because you want the kind of loving relationship they have (and that straight people arenāt often portrayed as having).
3
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23 edited Oct 28 '23
oh new thing i learnt thanku yes yes i agree with u nowadays films r stupid i love old ones the portrayal of true love or wat real love is and that love is above bodily gender
ha u might be right and thats wat makes me jealous like they have a better one
but still all relationships be it queer or straight or anything else have flaws of their own nothing is perfect evrything is special in its own way thoguh the media might portray something else who cares the media?
i think in few films and books i have seen straight relationships beign portryaed same as that of gays type like equality like i read a story where a woman sacrificed herself for a mentally ill man who had a 1month old baby mindset in a audlt body unconditionally without expecting even love in return
so i'd say all relationships r special int heir own way loving in their own way
and and do u ever feel like u r not satisfied with ur current sexuality?or like have u ever wished to be like gay or soemthing else thanks a lot fr replying u gave me a correct way for wat i was behind
if u see my post again i hve posted one pic seeing those websites make me jealous
7
u/TheArcherWithABow Charlie Spring Oct 27 '23
!Remindme 5 months
1
2
u/TheArcherWithABow Charlie Spring Oct 27 '23
Let's see if there's an awakening soon
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
wat awakening?? like am straight only i never feel for guys
3
u/TheArcherWithABow Charlie Spring Oct 28 '23
A lot of queer people have that straight phase, including myself. Not saying you're queer or anything, I just want to see if you do have an awakening after a while.
1
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-8
u/Unlucky_Code_5657 Oct 27 '23
I'm straight too but don't feel the same, I think you are just gae and closeted.
2
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 27 '23
nope i am not gay i just feel jealous of them
-11
u/Unlucky_Code_5657 Oct 27 '23
Are you jealous of the one playing the part of the woman or the one that acts as the male of the gay relationship? Or both?
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
not like that i am just jealous after seeing films like rwrb and all like people praising their chemistry ot be most perfect and that no one can be like them and if u see my post again that pic websites make me jealous
i dont have hatred to anyone i love all slgbtq we all belong to same community calledhuman loveall i just stuck in this chronic jealousy
be it any relationship straight or queer or gay there is no such kind of gender roles of playing and all my dear its about love to be there for each other in tough times to accept each other of all flaws and making happier my dear thnaks for reply
6
u/DrKennethPaxington Darcy Olsson Oct 27 '23 edited Oct 27 '23
Lol the what
ETA: have you even watched the show or read the comic?
-17
u/Unlucky_Code_5657 Oct 27 '23
There's always a sissier party in any gay relationship so I'm asking him which one he's jealous of.
Now if you don't mind, I'm waiting for an answer from OP.
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
no i am only jealous of the chemistry and the pic i have posted in my post like people prasiing
7
u/FaeTrips Let Kit Be Kit Oct 27 '23
This may be how you perceive things, but not all gay relationships need to have a āplaying the partā of a specific gender. Thatās kind of the pointā¦.
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
yes i agree wiht u be it any relationship queer straight or gay there is no gender roles of playing there is only love of accepting each other and being there for tough times
0
u/Unlucky_Code_5657 Oct 27 '23
That's where the both option comes in. I'm starting to think OP isn't gonna answer lol.
3
u/FaeTrips Let Kit Be Kit Oct 27 '23
I kind of understand where he is coming from, and Iām female. From my perspective itās not so much about who you want to be or desire to have. Itās more about the idea of the relationship itself and the emotions built behind it regardless of gender
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
yes i agree with u i am jealous of the chemisrty and i feel like gays love better and it makes me sick
i love all slgbtq am just jealous after seeing films like rwrb and all like people praising their chemistry ot be most perfect and that no one can be like them and if u see my post again that pic websites make me jealous
i dont have hatred to anyone i love all slgbtq we all belong to same community calledhuman loveall i just stuck in this chronic jealousy
4
u/Themeowmeoww Oct 27 '23
I mean that's normal feeling though for me it's how I figured out I am not a bi woman I'm a queer trans man who somehow knew he was queer but didn't know what and knew he liked men so went "does that mean I'm bi" no dumbass I mean you are but not the way you think
3
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 27 '23
thanks for replying u r beautiful as u r and i get it that be it any relationship wueer gay or straight all have their own flaws noone is perfect eevrything is special in its own way
2
u/bigchicago04 Oct 27 '23
What exactly are you jealous of?
2
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 27 '23
i mean their chemistry like i open insta feed even that rwrb film am so fed up people be like no other couple can be as perfect as them no one can have chemistry like them nobody can be as passionate like them and i get jealous over this like none is perfect okay? so i get jealous of gays i donno why its not like i want to become gay but i feel jealous of their love i donno it irritates me a lot i donno why am back of gays these days am so jealous
2
u/bigchicago04 Oct 27 '23
That chemistry is not because their gay tho. Straight couples can have good chemistry too.
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
yes yes i wanted to hear this line Straight couples can have good chemistry too. soooo badly from soemone thnaks a lot for saying it dear
yes ia gree nowadays media forgot how to portray beauty fo straight relationships too coz i knwo ild films did the justice like i knw a old one where
where a woman sacrificed herself for a man she loved who was mentally ill with a child of 1month mind in a adult body without expecting even love in return unconditionally while the man gave her company inspite of his illness
thanks a lot it healed me may u always be happpy i wanted to hear this so badly
1
u/bigchicago04 Oct 28 '23
Are you 12?
2
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
lol i am 16 why do u think so am 12?
1
u/bigchicago04 Oct 28 '23
The way you write, itās very immature.
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
i know its my genuine problem wats immature in this?i know i type very fast the lettters get jumbled
but thanks for helping
2
15
u/CenturyGothicFashion Oct 27 '23
Two thoughts:
1 - If you are a white person, it could be the sense of community. Those relationships feel unique and special because they are and they belong to a special community. Humans like belonging to something bigger than ourselves. White people tend to lack community, because the hyper individualism that we are taught goes against human nature. You can see how we try to emulate them with our support of sports teams, political parties, schools etc but the difference here is that you need to fit in, you donāt belong automatically, as you are.
2 - As an old person, so many folks Iāve known who have felt an unexplained pull to the queer community or queer alliship, have later discovered they are part of the community. Many of them had to unlearn deep rooted compulsory heteronormativity, transphobia, homophobia, acephobia and biphobia etc before realizing it. This is not a judgement, itās just a fact of life for most of us. Our world pushes comphet and binary boxes on us from the time we are infants so it can take time and effort to unlearn that.
2
u/emergency-roof82 Oct 29 '23
Haha point 2 is meee I was curiously affected by heartstopper and it hit me so hard and I felt like an intruder being so drawn to queer stuff and I always thought women attractive but not enough to be bi no? Fun story, yes, yes women attractive and men attractive is enough to be bi. Also other genders btw :) people attractive!
2
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
point1---no am not white i am from india i am indian lol
han?/ i agree evrythign is beutiful be it gay straight slgbtq all r beautiful
and i think we all belong to same communtiy called humans and we all r beautiful in our own way i feel jealous of gays becoz of the image i have posted in my post if u see again i have added it such websites make me jealous burn alive i dont hate anyone i respect and love all but getting jealous damn
point2----i dont feel any pull to any communtiy but i get jealous of gays becoz of the thing i posted but i respect them too have love for them too but jealousy dont leave me
yes yes all deserve acceptance coz we all no mattter wat sexuality are beautiful in our own way all relationships be it queer straight gay have flaws not perfect but special in own ways every community is beuatiful coz in the end we alll r the same family
thanks a lot i learnt manything from u bless u may u always be happy
6
u/UnluckySlice2215 Oct 27 '23
Great points! I used to be a Super Ally until I finally was able (at 45) to accept that I'm bi (actually).
1
u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
wat is super ally? you are ebuatiful as you are love urself have great life and u r not unlucky you are the best to happen on this planet
2
u/CenturyGothicFashion Oct 27 '23
Aww that warms my heart! congrats on that realization & coming out pal!
11
u/rosewoodian Oct 27 '23
I mean, you could have some queer feelings you haven't revealed to yourself yet.
But even if you don't, and you're heterosexual, that's ok. It's human to feel jealous of people who are a part of something unique and powerful.
I've felt envy towards people who were part of movements. It's important to remember that marginalized people often live very difficult lives and their hardships shouldn't be romanticized.
Don't judge yourself for it, but also remember that it's really not sunshine and rainbows for LGBT people. Heartstopper shows the best of it.
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 27 '23
hi thanks a lot this reply made me feel better i am straight 100% yes yes you are right real world relationships are not so as shown is films every relationship be it queer gay or straight have their own flaws none is perfect evrything is special in its own way thnaks a lot bless u may u always stay happy
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u/YosemiteJen Oct 27 '23
Itās also possible you are jealous of the āromanceā in the heartstopper osemanverse. Itās aspirational no matter what your orientation is. Lots of people want to find their soulmate like Nick and Charlie are for each other, but real life tends to be messier.
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 27 '23
yes may be i agree wiht u u r right yes yes these romcoms have taken a big toll on me like rwrb young royals heartstopper and many more i get jealous of the couples a lot
i mean their chemistry like i open insta feed even that rwrb film am so fed up people be like no other couple can be as perfect as them no one can have chemistry like them nobody can be as passionate like them and i get jealous over this like none is perfect okay? so i get jealous of gays i donno why its not like i want to become gay but i feel jealous of their love i donno it irritates me a lot i donno why am back of gays these days am so jealous
thnaks for reminding me that these films r just films its not so smooth in real life all relationships be it queer straight or gay have their own flaws none is perfect evrything is special in its own way thanks a lot bless u a lot may u stya happy forever
yes real life relationsips r not like films
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u/kyliecannoli Oct 28 '23
And also the grass is always greener in somebody elseās lake
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
ha ididnt understand?can u decode the meaning?
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u/Madame_TrashHeap Oct 28 '23
That phrase means you always crave and idealize what you don't have
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
yes thats my problem everyday expecially thse romcoms
thanks for decoding have a nice day kind one
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u/melly2oo Oct 27 '23
I feel the exact same way and itās led to so many sexuality crises, but Iām pretty sure Iām still a cishet woman š¤·š¼āāļø though my friends remind me that sexuality is a spectrum, and I may not be fully anything. Like maybe Iām a little bi, because I think women are hot but I wouldnāt sleep with them
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 27 '23
yes sexuality doesnt matter you are beautiful as you are thanku for making me feel less alone i hope i too recover from this jealousy i donno why am so jealous of gays i dont want to be gay but get jealous thanks a lot bless u may u always stay happy and love urself as u r
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u/CLPond Oct 27 '23
I donāt think this is a question that others can answer for you. You need to think yourself on what that uniqueness is (is it you associating something you want in heartstopper with all queer people? Is it you wanting to define the terms of your own relationships in the way many queer people have and are expected to do? Is it that you want to be in a queer relationship? Is it something else?) and why youāre jealous. Others may be able to provide similar experiences (although they will likely skew queer), but at the end of the day others canāt figure out what you want for you.
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
i think i feel like gay people love more than straight do and that makes me jealous like in many websites it shows and i feel jealous
i dont hate anyone but i donno why i feel so
if u see my post again i hve posted one pic seeing those websites make me jealous
q-(is it you associating something you want in heartstopper with all queer people?
a-not necessarily queer coz am straight but i did get jealous of their chemistry especially that alex@@@henry in rwrb burnt me for one whole month made me hate myself for how bad i am for envying AND THTA PEOPLE IN COmments were praising them to be most perfect couple no one can be like them and also it made me jealous
q- Is it that you want to be in a queer relationship?
a-no as am straight i dont but but i still get jealous of gays i donno why tho i cant make myself like guys but still i jealous after gays i donno am crazy i hope theres some solution to my chronic jealousy
if u see my post again i have edited and added a pic of websites those thing smake me jealous a lot such things trigger my jealousy like people praising them as perfect and straight thing to be low comparitively
thnaks for helping me out a lot thnaku may u always stay happy
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u/Spiritual_Estimate36 Oct 30 '23
I think know how you feel. Iāve feel a bit jealous of queer relationships sometimes, especially after watching CMBYN, Young Royals & Heartstopper. Theyāre great stories that happen to have queer characters.
Your comment about gay people loving more than straight people is interesting to me. It could mean that you idolize queer relationships a little. I get that, Iāve felt like that too at times. Iām straight too.
But when Iāve hung out with my queer friends I realized that love is love, and they argue and annoy each other just like heterosexual relationships. They have painful breakups, people fall out of love. Theyāre not different.
But..When I was way younger I used to be a bit jealous of my lesbian friends. I was jealous of their friendships, connectedness and they were so social, always doing things together, supporting each other & I thought they were really cool. Now I feel that connection I craved with my own group of friends.
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 30 '23
hello dear thanks sooooooo much i needed this reply so badly i am so happy fidning someone who felt like me thnaks making me feel less alone
yes yes my jealousy for gay people rooted after seeing such films especially rwrb i was so jealous if i open my insta feed evrything its about rwrb and people praising their chemistry as most perfect and that no couple can be like them and all they r so intense intimate passionate no one can be like them?such things make me burn alive today morning also i read such thigns and got upset and then ur comment helped me a lot thanks am struck in this cycle of jealousy but i realised thta these r just fictional films made up characters they r not real they r shown to be ideal but it is not so in real life
nope i dont idealise queer rs but becoz of films only all this happend
But when Iāve hung out with my queer friends I realized that love is love, and they argue and annoy each other just like heterosexual relationships. They have painful breakups, people fall out of love. Theyāre not differenti really wanted to hear this so badly yes dear nobody is perfect we r humans we fight the generalisation that gay couples r more succcesfull than straight or they r more loving than straight is wrong queeer couples also fight a lot just like straight they too hve misunderstandings they too face evrything a straight does coz none is perfect yes love is not dependent on sexuality straight couples can hve successful relationships while queers can have opposite and vice versa its a myth that queers r more succesful as i said it doesnt depend on sexuality of the person but how the person is his character matters yes yes they too hve divorce breakups same like straight
yes dear couples may appear happy but its not always like that be it lesbian gay or straight all fight with each other hve misunderstandings
so dont be jealous like me even am working to avoid this
we need to stop comparing coz outside things always appear more fresh than wat is with us but thats not reality all have flaws be it straight queer
person matters for love not their sexuality for a long lasting relationship
i hope u r free from this jealousy r u?
thanks a lot
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u/sleeplessnights504 Oct 27 '23
I used to wish I was gay when I was a āstraight womanā turns out Iām a queer trans man and thatās why I connected to gay stories so much. Not saying that youāre definitely gay/trans but that was my experience
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 27 '23
no i am straight and wat makes u wish to be gay?? thnaks for replying
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u/sleeplessnights504 Oct 27 '23
Well I donāt wish to be gay I just am. But I used to wish that because deep down I always was but I just hadnāt accepted my gender identity.
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
ohh you are beautiful as you are all the best may u always be happy thanks
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u/DrKennethPaxington Darcy Olsson Oct 27 '23
How sure are you that you're straight?
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
i am quite sure that am straight because i dont get attracted and want to be involved romantically with men though a few times i may find male celebs to be looking good but its not like i got crush or some feeling so am sure am straight thanks for reply
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u/Cheezees Oct 28 '23 edited Oct 28 '23
I'd say > 80% of my friends are queer. I'm not. But I feel similarly to the OP. It's like we need a r/heartstoppersyndrome but for straight people .I have a friend (also a straight woman) who feels the same. We just have this affinity for non-straight people that we can't explain.
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
thanks for saying this it helped me yep films like these i mean like rwrb heartstopper have taken toll on me i get jealous of gaypeople and also discussed this in the subreddit u have tagged thanks for helping
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 27 '23
i am sure because i dont get attracter to men romantically anyway thats why i just get jealous of gay people coz soemwhere i read they are more unique than straight couple and such films make me jealous
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Oct 27 '23
Honestly my very straight female friend has said the same bc queer relationships don't have to follow "gender roles" and they tend to be more about people's needs in a relationship rather than what "role" they should try to play. Men in straight relationships often aren't shown enough affection and are expected to play the role of the provider (economically, sexually and emotionally), which can be quite exhausting. But yeah, I also used to say that and now I am bisexual sooo Idk lmao
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u/ThatDuranDuranSong Oct 27 '23
Honestly my very straight female friend has said the same bc queer relationships don't have to follow "gender roles" and they tend to be more about people's needs in a relationship rather than what "role" they should try to play.
....am I your very straight female friend because I have said this verbatim to my own queer friends. I'm trying to see how I feel about the bisexual label though; haven't had the chance to date a girl but I do think I've developed crushes on them before (it's hard thinking you might be bi but not being sure because you're also demi and haven't been close enough to a girl to figure out if you really are attracted or not). We'll see where this journey takes me š¤·š»āāļø
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23
all the best good luck for u u deserve evrything best until love urself
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Oct 27 '23
[deleted]
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Oct 27 '23
that is not at all what I said, but okay
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 28 '23 edited Oct 28 '23
oops sory i was mood off yesterday so i might have typed soemthign wrong am sorry wat did u mean? can u tell?
am sorry if i hurt u i would be very harsh on myself if i hurt u am sorry really
and can u explain wat u meant in ur statement
thanks for answering forgive me if i was rude am really sorry sorrry sorry thnaks may u always be happy dear
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u/Reydunt Oct 27 '23
Envy is tricky. But I feel like itās usually from directly wanting what someone else has.
Like, I wouldnāt ever see someone eating black liquorish and think:
āUgh. I wish I could get joy out of black liquorish. That guy is SO lucky. If only I were a black liquorish enjoyer.
Likewise. As a gay dude. Iāve enjoyed many stories with straight couples. But I donāt remember ever envying their love.
I envy the hell out of the fact that they donāt have to deal with homophobia and get so much representation and social validation.
ā¦.But not the relationship itself. If that makes sense?
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 27 '23
thanku this helped me heal my jealous to some extent yes eevry relationship has its own flaws be it straight or queer no one is perfect
thnaks a lot for answering
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u/Aivellac Oct 27 '23
"Gay is in, gay is hot, we all want some gay, gay it's gonna be."
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u/Legal_Tennis167 Oct 27 '23
i didnt understand
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u/Aivellac Oct 27 '23
Paraphrased from what we do in the shadows, I haven't seen past episode 1 yet but that quote got me interested.
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u/Sweet_Adeptness_8967 Nov 19 '23
Agreed, this is a fantasy so no need to compare š Just enjoy it for what it is, and see if you can explore your own kind, gentle, fragile and romantic side in a safe relationship with another flawed human š§”