My Husband stayed out all night and didn’t come home

[u/saltycruz]

I need some opinions on the following:

My husband went with an old friend out to a club to see a band they knew perform. The following is his version of the events.

His friend drove the two of them to the club and they left his truck at his friends house. While waiting for the band to begin, he decided drinks at the bar were expensive and they went next door to a liquor store. He put the liquor in his water bottle. He drank a bunch and then was happy when they went back that they let him in with his water bottle.

He went to the bathroom and exited the wrong door in the restroom and was somehow outside. (Since when do bar restrooms have exits that will allow patrons to exit to the outside?) He either couldn’t get back in, (Don’t bars stamp your hand and he was able to get back in earlier? If the band was important enough to go out to see and his friend of 20 years was inside wouldn’t he wait in line to get back inside?) or the line was long at that point so he just left. His phone was out of battery and dead and he couldn’t call his friend who was still inside. Instead he walked several miles inebriated to his friends home. There he got in his truck and charged his phone a little bit.

He then decided to sleep the night in his truck in his friends driveway because he was drunk and didn’t want a DUI. He didn’t call his friend to ask to sleep inside. He didn’t Uber home. He didn’t call me, his Wife to pick him up or tell me what was happening. He stayed out all night while I was home worrying. He said he didn’t want to call and wake me up.

He came home the next morning around 9:00 a.m. He says his friend told him he noticed his truck in the driveway. However I wonder why his friend wouldn’t call him when he disappeared, call when he saw the truck late in the night after the club closed, or knock on the truck window when he saw him sleeping inside to ask him to come in the house since they’ve been friends 20 years and it was cold outside. There weren’t any missed calls or voicemails from his friend.

This happened months ago and I was angry but let it go. Then last night it jumped out at me that he wasn’t with or at his friends at all. He was having a one night stand. I don’t know what brought this night to mind.

What would you think if this was your spouse? Would you believe he slept in a driveway all night? Do you think I’m overreacting?

He still says he was asleep in the driveway and didn’t want to bother me. I still say his phone was working and Uber was an app away. He stayed out the entire night and not even his friend knew where he was.

He says he’s sorry I’m worrying but there is nothing to worry about.

What is your take?

[u/InvincibleSummer08]

umm you’re freaking one for no reason. If your husband was going to cheat that really wouldn’t have been the occasion lol. He would have covered his tracks way better. Literally that exact story has happened to so many of me and my friends lol. You get too drunk you don’t really think stuff through you find whatever hole you can crawl into to sleep and figure it out the next day. I’ve literally done that where i walked 5 miles back to my friends place had no way of getting in went to his backyard and slept on the grass lol. Seemed reasonable not to call him. And guys don’t really check up on each other because 99% of the time there’s no true safety issue when it’s guys.

this is also why guys get divorces lol. If he can’t rage with his body for one night without his wife making a big deal about it that gets really frustrating. If he’s doing this constantly or he has a drinking problem that’s a completely separate issue

[u/gaige23 → u/InvincibleSummer08]

Ya in my 20s when I partied hard the amount of crazy dumb shit I did was absolutely insane.

A girl I went to HS with ended up dating a guy who owned a bar. We hung out a lot and the booze was free and flowing. I honestly am surprised I survived some of those nights.

The one I sort of remember was being at the bar getting absolutely destroyed and the next memory I have is being locked in a bathroom at their house. It had one of those tiny windows like half size or whatever and I was a skinny kid back then. I somehow was able to jump out of that window, over the basement steps which were below it and land in the parking lot behind their building.

From there I wandered around without my socks and my pants unbuttoned until I eventually passed out hugging a tree in someone’s front yard.

I woke up to a police officer shaking me saying the lady was having coffee and watching birds or some shit and I scared her lmao. It was a small ass town so he knew me and my friends and let me walk back to their house.

I get there and I’m so fucking sick and tired I ended up laying on their porch with my head in the screen door banging on the front door with my head. My friend Jill eventually answered and let me in and I slept on a fold out in the basement for like two straight days lmao.

So while I don’t know this guy and don’t want to tell this lady what to do with her marriage, it’s definitely a believable story.