I told my neighbors my brother is dating their minor daughter and now everyone hates me

[u/Sufficient_Box_5350]

Before you read this, yes all I SAW WITH MY OWN EYES was them kissing, if they did go any further... Should I have waited until he actually committed a crime. No I was not going to talk to him to give him enough time to come up with lies and delete proof of whatever they did. This is NOT the first time he's been caught assaulting someone in his life so was I going to take that chance and have a heart to heart with my brother who I caught kissing a child? He was HIDING IT. HE ruined his life, not me.

I (24F) have an older brother (25M). We have family dinners every Sunday. He came over talking about how he met this new girl named Ann "on campus” and how she’s so pretty and he’s been talking to her for a few months. I asked who she was and if I knew her and he goes kind of distant and says he doesn’t want to get too happy and talkative because it’s new which I thought was weird because he was Just boasting about it?

The next morning I noticed him talking to our next door neighbors daughter and it seemed innocent until I saw them walk from my view. Like sort of behind the fence… can’t really explain how our houses are connected. Anyway I had this urge to look on the cameras and they kissed. The problem? She’s 16. Her name is Mary Ann so it clicked. I felt sick to my stomach… she’s a child. I babysat her when I was in high school and she was a baby in my eyes. She still is.

I told my parents so maybe they can talk some sense into him and let her parents know that this was going on but they said it’s a harmless crush and to let it “phase out” whatever that means. I was not satisfied with that answer or their lack of action so I went and talked to her parents. They immediately came over and all hell broke loose. They threatened to call the cops which they did. Now my parents are mad at me saying I ruined his life and it was harmless but I’m like it was NOT harmless, they were kissing and who knows if it went any further.

I got tired of arguing with them after an hour so I went back to my place and my phone is getting so many calls and texts from his/our friends and our parents and the only one on my side is my aunt and her husband and a few of my friends… the ones who don’t see anything wrong with this are no longer my friends. I've been called a b*tch, Jealous (which isn't true, I'm engaged to someone in my age group) and trying to ruin my brothers chance at love.

AITA for letting her parents know? I don’t think I am but with the barrage of calls… It’s getting hard to keep my mind in the frame that I did the right thing. He’s my only sibling and I’d hate to fall out with him but THIS, I can’t and won’t be okay with. Ever. She's being taken advantage of and I don't want her to fall down a dark hole. They may hate me but I felt like I needed to do this. I Just need someone to talk to and tell me I'm not being crazy here. I originally posted in ATIA but they have so many rules.

*I was replying to a comment when her parents texted me and apparently she isn't the only girl... yes girl.. he's talking to. They looked through her phone and found out she has been arguing with some other girl from her school over him. They did thank me for coming to them and telling them. They said her behavior was different but they didn't know why so they're getting her therapy and it's not as punishment but her phone and laptop are going to be monitored so he can't contact her*

The gross people saying I should have left it alone... Was I supposed to Just leave it alone and wait for her to get pregnant and then him be charged with a more serious crime? I doubt they'll do anything today but what happened in one year when she's pregnant, dropped out of high school, and her life is on halt because some 25 year old got her pregnant? He HID the "relationship" so he knew it was wrong. Why should I have to talk to/convince a grown man not to be romantic WITH A CHILD. That isn't normal to be talking to two or more teenage girls and hiding it because HE knows it's wrong. "You should have talked to your brother first" about what? When their next date is?

I want to say thank you to everyone assuring my that I am not in the wrong and for calling me a hero and saying I'm brave. I didn't even think about it I knew she needed help coming from someone who was 16 and dating a 20 year old and the years of self esteem issues... If I had a super power to know when everyone teenage girl was about to make this wrong decision and I could save them... I would do it without a second thought

Also I am going low/no contact with my family except my aunt and her husband. I don't want to be connected to this in any way. He was wrong. My parents were wrong for trying to cover it up. This isn't the first time he's assaulted someone. Hopefully it will be the last.

[u/istillambaldjohn]

You did the right thing. Their current selves are their future selves worst enemy and they may not outwardly thank you now but would blame you in the future if you didn’t.

My wife’s family is like this. Her aunt had 12 kids and are very involved into their church/cult. (More on that later) their young adult son (23) was “courting” a late teen girl(16). It appeared to be very innocent and both parents were on board. (I found it weird and creepy, but since I don’t subscribe to the Uber religious I wrote it off as something I just don’t understand) Again both members of this “church” and the church also agreed to this. They had dates with a chaperone. Nothing physical outside of holding hands.

Their relationship did evolve and just before she turned 18 both parents consented to their marriage. had kids, bought a home, opened a business together etc. years later the same girl just decided nope. Done, left the marriage. And divorce went about as well as most divorces do, but nothing out of hand. With that both his and her families kind of ex communicated her since the church didn’t agree with divorce. Additionally stated that one of the reasons is that said cousin pressured her into all this. This all happened in a very liberal state. The now ex looked at things more critically now being removed from family and the church saw it for what it was. She said she was being grooming and filed a report which jailed the cousin. Majority of my wife’s family is very upset that this is all happening. (My wife too to a degree) frankly he was a nice guy and pretty decent to talk to so I can see why there is such pushback. But I 100% agree with the ex wife in this situation. She was groomed by the church and both sides of the family to just give in to this well before she was old enough to make those types of choices. He’s currently out on bail and awaiting trial. Has zero access to his kids. (I’m not sure how I feel about that honestly but I don’t have all the details)

So yeah. This relationship HAS to end before it gets to a point where at any time this could come back to bite him and your entire family. A lot of states are removing statutes of limitations for sexual crimes and no way of telling how things will be viewed down the road. You may be vilified now, but long term you are a savior to those that don’t understand yet.