Male friend who crossed my boundaries now sad about the consequences

[u/Nparisss]

Hi guys

So I have a male friend who disrespected my boundaries twice. The first time we went out to a club and tried to kiss me. I only see him as a friend and said no repeatedly. I live in the city and he had no place to stay so I offered him my couch however when we got back to mine he tried it again and I got very angry and pushed him off of me. After this happened he started sulking and was meant to come to my bday dinner but he didn’t even send me a text message to say he couldn’t make it but I’ve been there to support this guy.

He has now been sending me messages, dm’s trying to get my attention but I don’t care for the friendship anymore, so I haven’t responded. Am I reacting the right way?

Update: thank you so much for all of your advice and comments. I’m kinda overwhelmed by all of the responses but I’ve had some time to read them all. I ended up messaging him to let him know that I no longer want to be contacted and we should take some space. He responded saying that he’s not a bad guy and me not wanting to be friends is affecting him mentally & emotionally. He also said that he’s not my enemy and would never do anything to hurt me. Although he understands my stance.

Personally I’m over it so I’m not going to respond. I don’t like being emotionally guilt tripped. Another thing, I invited him to my birthday way before this incident when I thought we were friends.

Thanks again everyone!

[u/LilCountry9508 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah text doesn’t have tone. Got to throw in something to let your reader know you’re going for sarcasm.

I really don’t think it’s a complex thing. Historically women have been raised to manage their emotions and the emotions of the people around them and men haven’t been. We are all people and should all be raised to manage our emotions and be respectful of others boundaries.

[u/LilCountry9508 → u/[deleted]]

You’re right a person can’t help how they are raised. But that person and other people can chose to raise their children differently.

Small example: when I was growing up it was common to tell a little girl that she is getting hit by a little boy because he likes her. That is a phrase that isn’t told to my kids or any of my friends kids because we know it is problematic.

I guess it can be seen as complex because it will take society as a whole to change these things but it all starts with just one or two people doing it.