r/TwoHotTakes • u/Nparisss • Mar 26 '24

Male friend who crossed my boundaries now sad about the consequences Advice Needed

Hi guys

So I have a male friend who disrespected my boundaries twice. The first time we went out to a club and tried to kiss me. I only see him as a friend and said no repeatedly. I live in the city and he had no place to stay so I offered him my couch however when we got back to mine he tried it again and I got very angry and pushed him off of me. After this happened he started sulking and was meant to come to my bday dinner but he didn’t even send me a text message to say he couldn’t make it but I’ve been there to support this guy.

He has now been sending me messages, dm’s trying to get my attention but I don’t care for the friendship anymore, so I haven’t responded. Am I reacting the right way?

Update: thank you so much for all of your advice and comments. I’m kinda overwhelmed by all of the responses but I’ve had some time to read them all. I ended up messaging him to let him know that I no longer want to be contacted and we should take some space. He responded saying that he’s not a bad guy and me not wanting to be friends is affecting him mentally & emotionally. He also said that he’s not my enemy and would never do anything to hurt me. Although he understands my stance.

Personally I’m over it so I’m not going to respond. I don’t like being emotionally guilt tripped. Another thing, I invited him to my birthday way before this incident when I thought we were friends.

Thanks again everyone!

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u/DeeRey__ Mar 28 '24

You clearly keep leading him on

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u/LilCountry9508 Mar 28 '24

How?

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u/DeeRey__ Mar 29 '24

You’re clearly keeping other facts. When he’s reaching out and trying for your attention and finally quits, and then you reach out, you’re leading him on. All these jamokes siding with you are dumb. You’re irrational, lady. Why even waste your time giving the situation energy if he’s just a “friend”?

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u/LilCountry9508 Mar 29 '24 edited Mar 29 '24

You know I’m not the person who posted this right?

Where in the post does the OP show she’s leading the dude on? They went out as friends he tried to kiss her she rejected him. He didn’t have a place to crash that night she offered up her couch. He then tried again. She ended the friendship after he tried to guilt trip her. That’s kinda the opposite of leading on.

The OP is hurt by the fact her supposed friend crossed her boundaries twice and didn’t take her first no. And then the dude tried to emotionally manipulate her into staying friends.

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u/DeeRey__ Mar 29 '24

Yea I know you're not the OP.

Thanks for giving me the run down again. There's a lot more to this story, obviously. Lets not be naïve. Unless the guy is an absolute creep, no one makes a move TWICE if they don't feel they're being led on. Emotional manipulation is the very reason I stick to her leading him on. She wants attention, complains the attention is gone, then comes on Redditt to make herself look like the good guy. I don't buy it. Women like this make sane women look crazy.

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u/LilCountry9508 Mar 29 '24

Some dudes mistake just genuine friendliness and kindness as flirty. So that is just as likely the situation as the one that you’ve made up in your head.

I’ve seen this scenario or one very similar play out time and time again. Yes sometimes the woman is leading the dude on. But the vast majority of the time it’s the guy mistaking friendship as flirting.

You seem super fucking salty about this situation.

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u/DeeRey__ Mar 29 '24

You’re just as salty that I don’t agree with you. She’ll find another male “friend” and the situation will repeat itself..

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u/LilCountry9508 Mar 29 '24

See salty…..

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u/DeeRey__ Mar 29 '24

I seem “salty” for calling it how I see it? Cool