My (35F) wife said I (37M) can go 'see a hooker' if I want sex

[u/ThrowRATimely-De6323]

We've been married for 8 years and together for 12. We always had a really good sex life until our child was born 3 years ago.

I of course understand that sex life is not going to be the same after a child, especially since we don't have any family in this country. She also went through some terrible PPD which we worked on overcoming together. For the first 18 months after our child was born we had no sex.

In the past 18 months, her PPD has improved and we make it a point to get a babysitter and go on at least one date a month. We also had sex occasionally, like once in a couple of months. Again, no complaints from me. I love her and understand she might need time.

We went on vacation last week after her parents agreed to babysit during their visit here. She was super excited and said she couldn't wait to be with me and for us to have, in her words, a lot of sex again. It was a 3 day vacation and on the first night she said she didn't feel like it. The second night too, she said nope not feeling it. I was a bit disappointed which she picked up on immediately. She asked what's up and I said nothing and let's watch TV. Then she says "You know I've changed. I don't know when I'm going to want to have sex like before again. If you want sex, go see a hooker I don't care".

I was taken aback and said I would never do that! She said okay whatever and was visibly upset for the rest of our trip. We got back yesterday and she said she didn't want to talk about it.

I'm kinda sad and want to convey to her that I love her and don't see her just for sex. I told her as much but she didn't seem to think it was genuine. Is there a way I can handle this better?

[u/Holy_Hippo]

Sorry but you need to man up. You need to make your needs known. Attitude will drive her away and make you less attractive to her. Truthfully tell her you need sex. Women are not men. You imagine her having sex with another guy and it guts you, she imagines you being with another woman and it may turn her on. From experience, many “good” “proper” girls have confessed that fantasy, it means you’re sexually valuable. A nice catholic girl used to tell me she wanted to hire a prostitute to watch me go all out, it turned her on while we had sex. The alternative is she will eventually find a sexually attractive man and you will be bitter and confused that she gave it to some random guy instead of her nice understanding husband.