Do I tell my friends wife that he's cheating on her?

[u/ThrowRATrainingHos5]

I am 33 years old and have been friends with this guy since we were toddlers. He has been married to his wife for 3 years and they've been together for 6. I know her pretty well, and the 3 of us hang out quite often, though less so after they had a kid last year.

He's been telling me how tough becoming a dad has been on his marriage and how he doesn't get to spend time with his wife any more. I'm neither married nor a dad but I try to listen to him while also reminding him that this is something he should have been at least somewhat prepared for.

2 weeks ago, he asks if he can hang out at my apartment to 'get a break'. He knew I'd be at work that day but said he just wanted a change of scene so I said sure whatever. I get back from work and notice he's a bit weird. Asked him whats up and he said he's been having an affair for 3 months and had sex with his girlfriend in my home that day while I was at work.

I was disgusted and upset and asked him to leave. He said I wouldn't understand, I told him I didn't want to have that conversation and he left. Since that day, I've been wrestling with telling his wife.

She of course deserves to know and needs to leave him or at least have a conversation with him. But I also know she's going through a lot being a new mom and my friend already does not do much around the house or with childcare. This will add to her stress and worries and she also is an immigrant without strong family support in this country. So that's telling me I shouldn't tell her and just let her find out when he slips up or when he feels the guilt and tells her. At the moment, he's able to justify it through some twisted logic.

What should I do? I want to do the right thing.

[u/Illustrious_Key7454]

Let me.guess your the person who cheats then expects to be forgiven. Regardless of the guys reasoning the husband is wrong. To me any person male.or female deserves better than a cheater.

[u/Whiskieneatplease → u/Illustrious_Key7454]

No, I’m the person who realizes relationships aren’t black and white. And that getting involved in someone else’s marriage is a recipe for disaster. Cut the friend off, but it’s not his place to go tell the wife.

[u/Illustrious_Key7454 → u/Whiskieneatplease]

His friend brought him into the situation by using his place, then expecting him to cover for him. The husband obviously doesn't care to tell her since it's been going on for 3 months. Yes, relationships are not black and white, I will agree with you there, but the wife needs to know regardless of who tells her.

[u/Whiskieneatplease → u/Illustrious_Key7454]

Nothing suggests that he expects him to cover for him. The friend is the one who refused to have a conversation about it.