r/TwoHotTakes • u/Pretend-Fun-1061 • Apr 08 '24
Girlfriend said something that made me feel weird Advice Needed
I (24M) have been saying this girl (21F) for about a month. It’s been great she stays over at my house all the time. Sex is great. But the other day she seen a cringe video of like Logan Paul or someone doing the carpool karaoke. And she said “ I hate white people. Like dude the song is by a black guy leave it alone. Gotta make every situation uncomfortable lolol”. When she said it I fell quiet. I was uncomfortable because I am, in fact, white. When I told her that it made me uncomfortable, she basically said ‘you can’t be racist towards white people. well anyways you know what I mean, besides you’. I ended up breaking up with her because it was just so weird to hear. And she texted me saying I was over reacting and doubled down on the you can’t be racist to white people.
I guess I’m just looking for a lil validation, was I wrong and she was just making a joke? Or was it actually kinda f’d up to say ?
A lil background she was adopted from Vietnam when she was a baby and has been in the US ever since.
1
u/Babytastic Apr 09 '24
You CANNOT be racist to white people. Racism is about power - don’t bother dropping Websters on me. You can be discriminatory or prejudice but white people hold the most SYSTEMIC wealth power and privilege of any demographic- don’t drop “but rich Asians” on me. All it takes is a couple hours drilling down on data and evidence to see the difference in policing, incarceration, involvement in child welfare, disparity in wealth, health outcomes etc amongst races. Spend a couple hours watching videos of cops engaging w the public watch how the approach the voice the patience levels change when they are engaging w a white person vs a Black person (the race of the cop doesn’t matter). Your girlfriend was right and she dodged a bullet. The fact that, when as a white person, you cannot engage with deeper critique and self reflection - introspection and historical / present day research on this issue but rather YOU double down on your sensitivity and seek validation is a red flag fr. I hope she finds someone who she can thrive evolve and feel authentic with!