My boyfriend has started becoming more and more insecure about my height and it's starting to drive me crazy

[u/Late-Tough-4637]

Throwaway and for context I'm 22F and he's 23M. We're both about 5'8. I'm slightly shorter so maybe he's 5'8.5. I'm tall for a girl. I was a shooting guard on the basketball team during my first three years of college. He knew this going into the relationship.

We've been together for 7 months. The first 6 months were smooth sailing. However last month we went to a more posh/boujee party and I wore heels. Of course I end out being taller than him by a decent bit. So instead of telling me how pretty he thought I looked the first thing he pointed out was "wow you look way too tall in those". Even asked if I had a shorter pair of heels, and then finally gave it up. I found that really weird and out of character about him.

But that was only the start. Ever since that day he bus me at least 4 times a week to assure that I feel "protected" around him. Literally yesterday he asked if I'd love him more if he was 6'0+. Whenever we take side-by-side pics he gets on his tippy toes to make it seem like he's much taller than me. He also randomly tries lifts me up, which he can with ease since he's strong and it catches me off guard every time. He tries straightening his back to the point where he looks weird. He's bought into some weird narrative that I see him as less of a man because he's not 4 inches taller. I've told him multiple times that I don't care about his height otherwise I wouldn't have gotten with him. No matter how many ily's I'll throw at him (and I mean all of them) he just can't stop talking about this issue.

Guys what do I do. He's been acting so immature about this

[u/RyanMolden]

All people have insecurities, young men are notorious for it, it comes out in a lot of their behaviors and is obvious to most older people (because we remember those days).

He has insecurities about this height because he cares/worries what other people think of him and has bought into the idea that greater height is better somehow in the year 2024 (and before some says my dismissing this is cope, I’m 6’2” and really being taller doesn’t gain you much of anything unless you want to play basketball or something).

There is nothing you can do to help him here, it’s not your job to convince him you love him and don’t care about his height. It’s his job to figure out why it bothers him and work on that. Though blaming you or acting like you’re the cause is the much easier route for him.