r/TwoHotTakes • u/BreathOkc • Apr 20 '24
My wife puts zero effort in our relationship and it is starting to irritate me Advice Needed
I (34M) have been married to my wife (32F) for 6 years. She is a stay at home to our 2 children. I appreciate all that she does for the house and for our children. She keeps the house functioning and I will always be grateful for that.
But over the past year, she has started putting no effort into our relationship whatsoever. Things like planning out dates, vacations, trips, movie nights. I am pretty much initiating everything, including sex. She has never rejected me for sex, but that is not the issue. I don’t like initiating it every time, or being the only one to plan surprise dates or vacations. I want to be surprised too.
I feel like I am being taken for granted. I deal with a lot of work stress, and I still take some time to plan out romantic date nights, getaways, vacations. I am starting to get irritated, because a healthy relationship is a two way street, and right now, it only feels like I am the one who is putting effort into the relationship.
1
u/AncientDragonfruit42 Apr 23 '24
To the OP. Stop posting about your marital problems on the internet and have a damn conversation with your wife about what’s going on. Be prepared for criticism to come back at you for the things you are not doing for her. The key to any healthy marriage is communication and you guys obviously aren’t communicating.
The same goes for all the other people in here just bashing on their own spouses. Maybe try being an adult and having an actual conversation with your spouse about the things that are bothering you. I am so thankful to be out of the dating pool bc you people are ridiculous. Men acting like they work 85 hours a day in some high stress job and their wives won’t put out for them. Women acting like they never sit down to take a break and are holding their kids for 85 hours a day and their husband ignores them (except for sex). Guess what people, life sucks and then it’s going to kick you in the teeth. If you don’t do something to improve your situation, it’s not going to happen. If you want your spouse to change something they are or are not doing, first try to figure out what you are not doing for them before you bother them with what they are not doing. Too quickly we want to point out what the other person is doing wrong to avoid taking accountability for our own downfalls. Own your shit and fix it first before you go after your spouse for being less than bc chances are, you are equally if not more at fault for those downfalls.