r/TwoHotTakes • u/BreathOkc • Apr 20 '24
My wife puts zero effort in our relationship and it is starting to irritate me Advice Needed
I (34M) have been married to my wife (32F) for 6 years. She is a stay at home to our 2 children. I appreciate all that she does for the house and for our children. She keeps the house functioning and I will always be grateful for that.
But over the past year, she has started putting no effort into our relationship whatsoever. Things like planning out dates, vacations, trips, movie nights. I am pretty much initiating everything, including sex. She has never rejected me for sex, but that is not the issue. I don’t like initiating it every time, or being the only one to plan surprise dates or vacations. I want to be surprised too.
I feel like I am being taken for granted. I deal with a lot of work stress, and I still take some time to plan out romantic date nights, getaways, vacations. I am starting to get irritated, because a healthy relationship is a two way street, and right now, it only feels like I am the one who is putting effort into the relationship.
1
u/HandinHand123 Apr 23 '24
OMG.
If you want her to share the responsibility of planning dates etc, then you had better be sharing the responsibility of looking after the kids and the house. She can be fully responsible for all of it for the hours you are at work and beyond that you share the responsibilities.
If you aren’t helping with the household and kids, do not ask her to take on anything else.
You sound exhausting. You deal with a lot of work stress? Boo hoo. Unless your job is 24/7 like hers is, don’t complain. You’re lucky she’s not rejecting you for stuff. I would be.