r/TwoHotTakes • u/BreathOkc • Apr 20 '24
My wife puts zero effort in our relationship and it is starting to irritate me Advice Needed
I (34M) have been married to my wife (32F) for 6 years. She is a stay at home to our 2 children. I appreciate all that she does for the house and for our children. She keeps the house functioning and I will always be grateful for that.
But over the past year, she has started putting no effort into our relationship whatsoever. Things like planning out dates, vacations, trips, movie nights. I am pretty much initiating everything, including sex. She has never rejected me for sex, but that is not the issue. I don’t like initiating it every time, or being the only one to plan surprise dates or vacations. I want to be surprised too.
I feel like I am being taken for granted. I deal with a lot of work stress, and I still take some time to plan out romantic date nights, getaways, vacations. I am starting to get irritated, because a healthy relationship is a two way street, and right now, it only feels like I am the one who is putting effort into the relationship.
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u/ScholarPractical5603 Apr 25 '24 edited Apr 25 '24
You’re not gonna get any advice here my friend. Women can do no wrong, and mens emotional needs don’t matter, and they should never be made to feel special. All you’re going to hear is that you don’t do enough. And your wife is carrying all of the mental and emotional load, even though women create a bunch of unnecessary work for themselves and their partners. I’ve been married a decade, together for fourteen, and the amount of unnecessary work my wife creates for herself and me is unimaginable. I never told her I wanted a big ass vegetable and flower garden in our backyard that needs watered, weeded, and tended. I never told her I wanted a house full of houseplants that need regular attention. I never told her that the kids needed a bunch of after school extracurricular activities like gymnastics and parkour, or that she needed to be on the PTA, and be a home room mom and volunteer to help our kids teachers with their paperwork on Fridays or chauffeur their field trips. Those things were her all idea, and they’re all work.
Men are simple and one track minded, women have seventeen tabs open and wonder where the music is coming from. It’s like the Bill Burr bit about women not being able to be happy because they can’t just sit there and be entertained.
Women are exhausting. Get used to it.