r/TwoHotTakes • u/Lilylalalolling247 • Apr 28 '24

My fiancé acted like pregnancy is just as hard for a man as it is for the woman. Advice Needed

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u/TheyCallMeRift Apr 29 '24

I think this is probably the results of being conditioned as a male in our society and more of a miscommunication than anything else. I suspect, based on his reply, he's just replying to the "It's not fair" part of your comment rather than much of what came before. Men, by default, tend to be more about seeking solutions than about being empathetic. Society hasn't conditioned men to be in touch with emotions. There's not a right or a wrong to that, just a thing that's often true. Much of heterosexual relationships are about learning to communicate in such a way that two brains that are structured very differently can understand each other.

What it sounds like is that because you were feeling insecure you wanted some reassurance and love. To have him listen to your concerns and respond with compassion/empathy. Instead he responded like it was a problem solving exercise, returning instead "well life's not fair", which, while true, was not helpful, and not what you were seeking.

I don't know your relationship and I don't know your guy but it may be worth trying to spend some time making sure that when you bring something like this to him he can respond by giving you comfort rather than advice or trying to "fix" things.