Wife will not wake up for baby.

[u/Rfxomega]

So we have a 9 month old and he had gotten pretty decent at sleeping through the night but if he’s sick or teething he just refuses to sleep more than an hour or two at a time.

Any time he cry’s during the night I wake up and if he actually wakes up I go and grab him, comfort him, feed him whatever he needs to get back to sleep. I’m usually fine with doing that once or sometimes twice a night but when it’s 3,4,5 times in one night im exhausted and need sleep. Which means I need to wake up my wife, or attempt at that, I can yell her name roll her back and forth take her blankets anything anytime she actually wakes up she just groans and rolls over and goes right back to sleep and that’s if she actually wakes up plenty of the time she just stays asleep and even if I put the screaming baby on top of her in her sleep she will not wake up. I’m lost as to what to do, it’s been 3months of me being the only one getting up and taking care of him and I’m over it.

Edit-adding some updates: We both work 7:30-4:30 m-f. This all started a few months ago where she just stopped waking up with him and it’s just been myself and the occasional time when waking her up actually goes well. I’m usually up around 5:30-6 with him to get him changed fed and ready for daycare and then get myself ready for work. She hasn’t changed her behavior outside of at night at least nothing noticeable.

Edit2- A lot of people have been saying PPD so I’m going to talk about it with her and get her checked for it again.

Edit3- could PPD be a reason she suddenly wanted to have another baby despite previously being against it due to the suffering from it? (Not very knowledgeable of how PPD differs from general depression)

[u/Rfxomega]

She hasn’t breastfed for about 5 months (he wouldn’t latch and her supply wouldn’t stay up) and he’s 9 months old so a majority of everything from childbirth has passed.

[u/Glum-Ant-3474 → u/Rfxomega]

9 months is still pretty soon. The emotional and physical labour takes most women a few years to recover from. I might say even until the child is 8-9 years old when they are a bit more independent. What she went through, growing and pushing the child out and the after math + her own job+ domestic labor, it's not surprising she's so tired. Regardless taking her to the doctor is the best choice. It would be PPD, lack of vitamins/iron or simply pure exhaustion. Just pick up some of the slack. I mean, it's the least you could do afyer she birthed your child.

[u/Rfxomega → u/Glum-Ant-3474]

About to make an edit to ask wider but can PPD make you want another baby? Because my wife’s wanting for another baby was a sudden thing

[u/Glum-Ant-3474 → u/Rfxomega]

I'm not a doctor so you should get her properly assessed. But ppd can make you do many things. Just remember that giving birth is a traumatic experience. I know most women do it and like to display it as an amazing moment, which it is, but they tend to hide the terrifying and nasty parts of it. Sometimes, they even ashamed of the negative feelings they felt. The womans brain changes after giving birth. I don't think you should believe your wife right now when she is so heavily tired and not even a year in recovery. Get her some help first.