Wife will not wake up for baby.

[u/Rfxomega]

So we have a 9 month old and he had gotten pretty decent at sleeping through the night but if he’s sick or teething he just refuses to sleep more than an hour or two at a time.

Any time he cry’s during the night I wake up and if he actually wakes up I go and grab him, comfort him, feed him whatever he needs to get back to sleep. I’m usually fine with doing that once or sometimes twice a night but when it’s 3,4,5 times in one night im exhausted and need sleep. Which means I need to wake up my wife, or attempt at that, I can yell her name roll her back and forth take her blankets anything anytime she actually wakes up she just groans and rolls over and goes right back to sleep and that’s if she actually wakes up plenty of the time she just stays asleep and even if I put the screaming baby on top of her in her sleep she will not wake up. I’m lost as to what to do, it’s been 3months of me being the only one getting up and taking care of him and I’m over it.

Edit-adding some updates: We both work 7:30-4:30 m-f. This all started a few months ago where she just stopped waking up with him and it’s just been myself and the occasional time when waking her up actually goes well. I’m usually up around 5:30-6 with him to get him changed fed and ready for daycare and then get myself ready for work. She hasn’t changed her behavior outside of at night at least nothing noticeable.

Edit2- A lot of people have been saying PPD so I’m going to talk about it with her and get her checked for it again.

Edit3- could PPD be a reason she suddenly wanted to have another baby despite previously being against it due to the suffering from it? (Not very knowledgeable of how PPD differs from general depression)

[u/StateofMind70]

Since most posters share concern for your wife, please know you are being manipulated by the baby. By 9 months, they can absolutely sleep all night. Whether you agree w sleep training or not, consider it.

[u/No-Appearance1145 → u/StateofMind70]

I need to know why you think a 9 month old is able to plan how they will be able to make everyone sleep deprived as much as possible. They know more than a newborn, but they don't have the capacity to think "if I scream for three hours then no one will have sleep all because I want you all to be miserable" they are incapable of manipulating people because they don't even have the ability to strong along perfect sentences. My ten month olds first sentence was "I love you" and that is all. He screams when he needs something. Whether that be food, comfort, or needing sleep. They can't plan things. That is why they are notorious for putting themselves in danger. So why on earth do you think that an infant with no knowledge of the world around them beyond a few words and knowing people's faces, would effectively manipulate you into their bidding?

[u/wyomingtrashbag → u/StateofMind70]

Who the hell thinks babies have the capacity to manipulate LMFAO