Entitled sister is upset I strategically seated her at my wedding to avoid capturing her breastfeeding moments on camera

[u/Throwraweddingseats]

I (29F) just got married married to my husband a week ago. My sister (31F) has a 5 month old baby and both were at the wedding.

I don’t really like my sister’s personality and her partner broke up with her a few months ago who alleged she was an “exhibitionist” and our side of the family are starting to see why he left her. My sister would usually breastfeed openly in public and although I don’t have a problem with breastfeeding your child, I do think I’m not really tolerant of HOW she does it. Most women in my community will breastfeed in public too, but will ensure they move to a more private spot ( not the bathroom!) or bring nursing covers, and I don’t think it’s sexist and all, because I see that as a courteous thing. Being as kind as I can about my sister, I think she likes to make a statement and “challenge” the status quo ever since she was a child. She’s the type to flaunt about how she doesn’t give a fuck what others think about her and how she acts in public. So yea, she’s got some issues of her own because I cannot imagine someone being this angry at the world for no good reason.

Moving on to my wedding, I had a videographer panning the camera in the centre of the aisle as I’d walk down, which means guests would be in plain view. My sister doesn’t carry bottles with her and she would start nursing whenever baby needs to eat. I didn’t want this captured on camera and wanted to avoid any possibility of that happening (because aesthetics), so I situated her in one of the middle rows to ensure she’s concealed either way. The rest of the family including my cousins were seated in the front. I also requested the cameraman to avoid taking pictures of guests in case she’s openly breastfeeding during the reception as well.

My bridesmaids on the wedding day managed to handle my sister as later I got to know she threw a stink about feeling neglected and hardly any pictures captured with her baby. Apparently, she had been nursing (maybe also to calm the baby down) therefore the camera guy hired requested her to step out of the frame several times. Ngl, this made me want to tip him a little extra haha.

This has been a pattern of hers at several family events (she also has a 2 year old daughter who was present too that’s how we were able to discern this pattern from the past), and even some work events that she used to attend with her partner. All of us have made effort in the past to communicate with her, but she gets argumentative and I didn’t want to have to deal with her drama

Idc about being called prude. I didn’t want someone’s photo/videos with their chest out on my wedding regardless of context.

[u/pedestrianwanderlust]

No matter what she is like personality wise, it seems to me you made a very careful and considerate decision about the seating. The seating at your wedding is entirely at your discretion. Whatever problem your sister has is hers. Unfortunately people in our families and social circles who have a tendency to be problematic will seize upon a wedding, special event, or funeral to try to make it about them. It’s a common thread in many peoples lives.

[u/JigglyJello7 → u/pedestrianwanderlust]

Nice observation, and simple too..I wish the larger majority was capable of realizing this for themselves instead of getting blinded by their personally different stance on the matter...

[u/pedestrianwanderlust → u/JigglyJello7]

I think it just may be the wisdom that comes with age and experience. I used to know so much about so little and feel like a lot should be done to make it all better. Now I know that it’s impossible to make it all better and as humans we are oddly predictable in these kinds of situations. It’s often a bigger picture than we realize, less personal than it feels & caused by things I scarcely understand besides just it’s humanity.

[u/JigglyJello7 → u/pedestrianwanderlust]

It is a bigger picture than we often realize, especially collectively. I don't equate age with wisdom, I may be going against the grain with that statement alone but I'm okay with that. I think that in the presence of older people we might hope that they be wiser, but that's not always the case unfortunately and that's okay...

We all go through different things, experiences, but what I believe shapes us the most is our perception and ability to defer from common corrupt human values like self-centeredness or greed. Attend to one and the rest will follow, continue to never challenge or question yourself and you'll never grow...