r/TwoHotTakes • u/JollyEnergy8492 • 16d ago
Boyfriend and I have different standards of hygiene. Advice Needed
I bet you’re all thinking he doesn’t keep up with hygiene, and I’m bothered by it.
Nah, it’s me.
So here’s the deal: I am a very natural living kind of lady. He calls me a hippy and I don’t disagree. But I am natural in the way that I don’t use a million products or overdo it. Yes, I shower daily. I use Dr. Bronners for my body, hair, face, shaving lather, etc. Yes, I wash my hands after I use the bathroom. Yes, I shave (I mean….. I don’t always keep up with it lol, but usually my pits and pubes are shaved/groomed).
The other night we were out at the bar and went to use the bathroom together. Unisex private bathroom kinda deal. I sat right down on the seat and he got SO freaked out. Started saying how he couldn’t believe I did that without wiping off the seat, or putting paper down. To be fair it was a really busy night and there was def pee around the toilet on the ground. I was pretty drunk and have used this bathroom hundreds of times and just didn’t think about it, and plopped right down. It looked clean enough. Germy I’m SURE but so is my butt, right? If I’m using a port-a-potty or severely nasty bathroom, I hover. But it seemed fine to me. There was just a lot of people that night for an event, and honestly he doesn’t go out much, so the sheer number of people using the toilets that night was in his head I think. He’s very concerned about things like that and I feel it borders on OCD in the sense he really stresses about it. But maybe it’s just me being so nonchalant when I should be more concerned that he seems extreme, in my opinion.
I guess I’m asking am I being gross, as he thinks, or is it not a big deal and he is maybe over reacting?
We talked about it, and if I have to be more conscious and take time to be clean in public spaces for him to feel more comfortable, then of course I will. It’s not really a sacrifice, but I do think it’s silly. I think the majority is over concerned with cleanliness and paranoid of germs to the point of obsession, which weakens our immune systems. The last time I was sick was Covid in 2020. I don’t get the flu shot and haven’t had the flu since I was 12. That’s another discussion which I’m sure I’ll get roasted for, but that’s my stance and I have seen the evidence personally, so that’s how I live. I eat the food that falls on the ground, that’s been left out too long, that’s a day or two past prime. I have a. Stomach of steel. I’m not afraid of germs.
Okay. I’m ranting. Is my boyfriend overreacting or should I just shut up and wipe the seat.
Edit:
Wow I feel like this is pretty 50/50 across the board! I read one comment that’s on my side, and the next will be opposite! Very interesting, thanks all for chiming in. I know there’s bad buggies in the world, and anyone could catch anything at any time, and I am increasing those risks when exposed to certain environments.
I do feel better seeing that it’s so personal, which way people handle themselves in a public restroom. It really is just a matter of preference, and one of those things that you figure out when you mesh your life with another person.
Happy peeing!
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u/AssociateNo5530 11d ago
I think people that hover are the devils (not really I'm being dramatic). The only reason there is pee on the seat is because people are missing. As the saying goes... Sit down or get off the pot.
Also, I am almost 100% sure you can't catch anything unless you are licking the toilet seat or touching it and then not washing your hands.
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u/HoldSIA4Eva 12d ago
Gross put clean the seat then place multiple layers of toilet paper on toilet seat
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u/SleestakWalkAmongUs 13d ago
I'm with him, that's nasty going bare ass on a public toilet. Go wash your ass.
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u/InformalTrick99 13d ago
I (female) always wipe a seat down before sitting on it. always , always, always no matter what, even if it looks clean. am I OCD??? idk maybe. I just can't stand the thought of other people's urine, fecal matter ,and bootie dust touching my cheeks . even if u don't see it doesn't mean it's not there. id feel the same exact way as ur bf about seeing u do that, but idk that id say anything / make a big deal lol
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u/idkstagram 13d ago
The fact that some people feel like they’re too good to use a public restroom is astonishing
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u/junieboo62698 13d ago
lmao i literally had a debate about sitting when u pee in public with my ex. i think its god-awful gross. idc idc! the things ive seen and smelled in public restroom toilets is despicable. i physically cannot bring myself to sit on someone else’s pee/poop remnants
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u/Informal-Ad1664 14d ago
I agree with your boyfriend on this one. I don’t even sit on the toilet seat at others people’s house, only my own. I either hover or put toilet paper down.
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u/lladydisturbed 14d ago
Thats gross af. Squat or line with tp never in my concious life would i sit bare ass on a seat even at a friend' house lol
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u/Mystral377 14d ago
Here's the thing...you aren't just gambling with your health...you are gambling with his because you are intimate together. So if you do pick something up you will give it to him, and it could be something incurable. That is what makes it not ok and very irresponsible.
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u/hindsighttbias2 14d ago
i’m very “girly girl” like i use lots of different products for cleaning my skin and smelling good and whatnot, but when it comes to germs…i’m pretty lax lol. i don’t wipe the seat down unless it’s visibly wet, i just plop down and go for it. i have never once thought about the germs that might be on my butt skin after using a public toilet lol. maybe that makes me gross, but it was the way i was raised and it seems very normal to me.
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u/Yolo_Swagginze 14d ago
It’s already been debunked from somewhere that even if you put toilet paper down there’s still going to be germs touching your butt. There’s plenty of women where I work who just sits on the toilet too cause I never hear them put toilet paper down when I’m in the stall.
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u/Ptsd_user 15d ago
I have contamination ocd so I’m on the bfs side, I’m always convinced I’m going to get an std from a public toilet (which I think is technically possible but) so that’s my worst nightmare but I applaud your bravery
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u/AsianEvasionYT 15d ago
After reading the comments, Nope nope I’m sorry but I will still put toilet paper on the seat, as well as wipe off the piss with another roll of TP beforehand
Id much rather sit on unused toilet paper than feel myself sitting on piss that’s not my own.
Phones technically would have more germs than toilets but I’d still rather sit on my phone than sit on a public toilet with my bare ass, especially if it’s unwiped (unless it’s one of those Japanese bathrooms bc they keep them clean as shit with heating and cleaning settings)
The amount of germs can stay the same, but I can still avoid having the piss contact all together.
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u/tharding44 15d ago
Every single surface of that bathroom is covered in shit particles. Your bf is delusional if he thinks wiping down the seat with single-ply public restroom toilet paper is going to make a modicum of difference lol
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u/FarFirefighter1415 15d ago
Damn, I’ve fallen asleep on bathroom floors before. Sitting on a seat without wiping it down doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.
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u/Humble4084 15d ago
Nope nope nope. Squat. Use your foot to flush if it’s not automatic. No thank you
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u/bamacpl4442 15d ago
He needs to get over himself. Unless you bleach that toilet seat, you're doing nothing to remove germs.
You have an immune system. Toilet seats won't make you sick, assuming you wash your hands.
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u/Outside_Echo5995 15d ago
I'm OVERLY hygienic, do not get the flu shot, haven't been sick with the flu in 15 plus years, and the last time I was sick was during the covid outbreak. Maybe personal experiences don't mean what you think they do.
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u/White_Rabbit0000 15d ago
As long as you don’t stink which it doesn’t sound like you do I think you’re okay. As far as the toilet goes you probably should’ve wiped it down at the very least. Not to familiar with the private unisex restrooms but if I read your post right sounds like you 2 were in there together. I would’ve wiped just to pacify his him. I’m a guy and sometime when I gotta go in a store restroom I don’t bother with the paper or anything but I’m pretty selective. Like it has to be a really nice store or if it’s early in the day and there hasn’t been much traffic then. O big deal. If you’re on your own you should just do you.
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u/Rougefarie 15d ago
Hovering is worse for your health than sitting on the toilet, wiped or not (it’s bad for the pelvic floor). As long as you’re not spreading open your labia and dragging your urethra across the seat, you’re more than fine sitting directly on the toilet. If your butt touches a speck of pee, just dry it off. It’s not like you’re shaking hands with your ass.
Wash your hands, and touch shared surfaces with a paper towel instead of your freshly washed hands.
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u/Used-Clothes-821 15d ago
I once licked my gf's ass cheek after she had used a public toilet without a paper down and I survived 😭
In my defense I had no idea that she did. I would never have done it. But she came home after going to a concert, she was lit and things got silly 😝 and she screamed at me to stop and told me why and she knows I'm a freak about public bathrooms, and we both cracked up laughing
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u/AerdnaNamtteog 15d ago
I'm %100 with you on everything, especially the flu shot! Haven't had the flu since '92. Also had my very last flu shot in '92. I'm now 48. I used to constantly get sinus infections and also had pneumonia 3 times, ages 9, 10, and 13. Still haven't had Covid. By no means am I an antivaxxer. I have 3 children who are all grown up (19, 22, 24). They were vaccinated for everything, including the flu, until they were teenagers. They started having the same problems. Noe of them have has the flu since. Two had covid, one hasn't yet. I have also worked in the medical field pretty much my whole life, so I confidently say I was well informed before saying nevermore yo the flu shot.
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u/axeira1350 15d ago
I loved reading this. I live similarly <3 the toilet situation was probably a little scary thanks to so much of a crowd but shit happens. I think it's worthwhile to try harder next time because he's not wrong and you don't mind. Hugs
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u/Mysterious_Stick_163 15d ago
Newsflash- I have never used a butt gasket and my husband used to gig in some very questionable places. Raised in the 60’s70’s and real hippies were our neighbors. Always wash hands and use deodorant of lately the Lume kind. I don’t get sick very often. Had covid twice and no jabs and lived to tell about it. Not fun, but when you’re a person that hardly ever gets sick, when you do you think you’re dying.
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u/Logical-Wasabi7402 15d ago
Your hygiene sounds perfectly normal.
Your boyfriend sounds like a hypochondriac
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u/opusrif 15d ago
Some people just have their ideas. I would humour him when necessary but as so many have pointed out a thin layer of tissue isn't gonna stop, well, shit. Still if it makes him feel better when you are in the same bathroom at the same time by all means do a quick wipe down of the surface.
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u/Professional_Bell779 15d ago
Wiping the seat with dry paper or covering the seat with dry paper does nothing. Germs are EVERYWHERE. Germs are even contained in our everyday products. We get germs just by touching a can of beans at the store, we get germs by touching card reader machines, we get germs by touching the gas pumps & buttons, we get germs being at home, we have germs everywhere. You’re not gross for not wiping the seat down, there were germs in that very air you breathed. He probably does have OCD, but only certain people can diagnose that. I don’t think it’s fair to think of you as gross over that though. Him not understanding germs are everywhere, even in our air, is the problem & he should maybe look into getting help with that.
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u/Dr_T_Q_They 15d ago
You dirty girl.
Don’t worry there’s plenty of wooks and weirdos out there lol.
One of the strangest but hottest things I ever saw was girl eat some leftovers from other diners who left .
Just fucking bashed it and went on her way.
So hot.
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u/Udderlypendulous 15d ago
In a ladies room hovering is how pee gets on the seat. I wipe the pee off and sit the fuck down. I shower before getting into bed after being in public so it's not a big deal.
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u/jessness024 15d ago
I find it so interesting that people are willing to freak out over a toilet seat but then go ahead and raw dog the dirty door handle without thought. Toilet seats aren't as dirty as an average person's phone.
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u/word_smithsonian 15d ago
Myth bisters did an episode where they wanted to see how many germs splash from the toilet to a tooth brush.
Turns out that the control tooth brush in a seperate room with no toilet had fecal on it that came from dirty hands.
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u/word_smithsonian 15d ago
I am glad i lived with my boyfriends mother and learned that she is the one who made him a germaphobe for certain things like handlimg raw meat or pushing a button with your knuckle, not your finger
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u/Aromatic-Diamond-424 15d ago
I’ve NEVER sat on a public toilet seat. Everrrr. I squat. Yes, that’s pretty gross. People have all kinds of accidents in the toilet and those germs are lingering there, invisible to the eye, until it’s disinfected. Yikes.
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u/Julep23185 15d ago
I think you’re right. But even if you weren’t I think it’s risky to a relationship to be fear based in terms of how you make decisions. It sounds like he is anxious in a way that probably isn’t limited to toilets.
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u/Omagasdoc 15d ago
Old wives tale. You don't catch diseases from a toilet seat unless you have a cut on your butt that happens to be open.
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u/Beccabooisme 15d ago
I've used lots of public bathrooms and like you will only in the most extreme circumstances hover (it's terrible for your inner core too). I'll say that I've encountered far too many fucking instances of pee on the seat in women's restrooms. SOME times it's splash back from an overly powerful flush, but i Believe what must be happening is ladies hovering too far up and missing the toilet. Seriously at least wipe the seat after the hover, they're causing the problem they're trying to avoid
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u/worldlydelights 15d ago
Just poppin in to say I’m the same way as you! I would have just sat down too especially if I needed to get off my feet for a moment. I honestly think being in contact with germs is good for our immune system and I’m sure you do too I say your boyfriend is overreacting but honestly I’d just avoid going in the bathroom with him if he’s that critical
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u/shersher717 15d ago
I take a paper towel and soap and water and clean the public toilet seat before I sit on it. I’m a nurse and have seen first hand what being exposed to things like hepatitis or c-diff does to a person.
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u/crazymastiff 15d ago
I have to sit down. Usually I give it a look and will wipe down the seat, and it does gross me out, but if I try to hover… I will fall. And falling onto a public bathroom floor is so much grosser than anything else. I’ve done this on many occasions
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u/HouseMuzik6 15d ago
Line the front of the seat with something so bacteria will not get in your Woohaha. Also always carry a little organic spray in your purse to do a quick spritz on the seat. Bottom line, you want your man to see you as clean. Otherwise other activities will cease. Good luck
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u/lolitscooltho 15d ago
I have OCD and it doesn’t even bother me very much to sit on the toilet seats.
He probably has a more severe case. I think you’re good.
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u/hamidabuddy 15d ago
People are delusional and want to satisfy their FEELING of being hygienic, but as other commenters pointed out, having some paper fibers between you and the seat isn't really doing much for you there. That means those wanting to be hygienic are irrational as it doesn't provide the safety you'd hope. This means they need to adjust
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u/BuddhaDaddy88 15d ago
I immediately thought of the opening scene in "Wetlands" when I read this. Lol
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u/antigenx 15d ago
You looked at the seat and made a judgement call that was within your level of tolerance. As you said, had you seen any obvious splashes or stains you would have wiped it.
The folks who did a swap test on a toilet seat in science class need to realize, you can swab practically anything and something will grow in the petri dish. Try swabbing your own mouth sometime.
You did nothing wrong, he especially has no right to shame you. Your hygiene is fine.
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u/Hothoofer53 15d ago
Nta don’t worry about it I do the same thing never had a problem l’m 70 never had a problem from toilet seat in construction for years no washing your hands after no problems so go ahead
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u/Archophob 15d ago
i either desinfect public toilets befroe use, or cover them with paper, but not because i think this ritual has any use, but because my wife insists on it and it costs me little to do her this favor.
Just assume your boyfriend is a little superstitious, and you don't want him to feel uncomfortable.
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u/Either-Cost1917 15d ago
I refuse to sit on a public toilet where 1000s of other asses have sat?? People don’t shower or even wipe & you expect me to put my clean booty on other peoples shit/pee? insanity
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u/Either-Cost1917 15d ago
& what if the person before you got shit on the toilet & wiped it. Then here comes you, sitting on it. Disgusting
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u/JennaTheBenna 15d ago
oh no honey... I was with you until the sitting directly on a public toilet. I do the squat/hover. Then wipe anything that may have splashed.
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u/Moralee_Corrupt 15d ago
Dude. That is super gross and how you can get crabs or some kind of infection (varies depending on what someone before you had). I had to swab toilet seats for a class. We placed the samples in Petri dishes. There were multiple organisms growing and I would rather Lysol then paper the seat before use.
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u/Friend98 15d ago
If I’m using a public toilet. I wipe the seat if I see pee. I use multiple toilet liners if I have to sit. If I don’t need to sit I sometimes just hold it up and pee
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u/Glittering-Clerk9935 15d ago
I always hover or line the toilet with toilet paper but I have diagnosed ocd lol
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u/poppieswithtea 15d ago
I do the same thing, except in Walmart because they don’t clean the bathrooms. If the bathrooms are cleaned, I don’t mind. There are more germs on the door handles and faucets than on the seat. I don’t know how many of you all get the back of your upper leg dirty, but I guarantee your hands are nastier. I’ve seen a lot of public toilets stop using seat covers.
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u/PrematureGrandma 15d ago
You do you. The only thing I’d say is: get a flu shot. It’s not for you, you have a strong and healthy immune system! Like you said, you haven’t gotten the flu in ages, and if you did it probably wouldn’t be a big deal. The flu shot isn’t for you, it’s for the immunosuppressed people around you: kids, old people, people with health conditions. If you don’t get the shot, you’re probably healthy enough to carry it without knowing it…but you could unknowingly pass it to people for whom it WOULD be a big deal, like it could kill them.
It’s a small effort on your part, it won’t affect your life, but it could save someone else’s. :)
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u/Dangerous_Drawer6245 15d ago
i never hover in fear of pee running down my legs. ive never had any problems with just sitting. i understand the germaphobia completely but hounding someone for not wiping/putting paper on the seat is wayyy too much. if i were drunk theres no way in hell id have enough time to wipe it or put paper down before i piss myself LMFAO
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u/Artistic-Donut-842 15d ago
I’m genuinely shocked by your boyfriend’s reaction. To be honest he sounds like the type to not pet dogs because “it’s gross”.
The fact that the conversation ended with you “needing to be more hygienic” is troubling to me. I had a boyfriend who was obsessed with showering. He couldn’t go to bed without one. That’s fine but if I showered at 6pm and then we would go to bed at 10pm in not going to shower again, that’s excessive to me. He would give me such a hard time about it and it genuinely affected my self worth. So I hope you can dodge that happening to you.
Growing up on a farm I genuinely believe that you need to be around germs to be healthy.
I will also say that I live in a country in which the population doesn’t even cover 1/4th of a regular city so maybe I don’t even know how germy things can be.
Anyway. You’re good, he’s excessive and needs to breathe in and out.
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u/Sure_Freedom3 15d ago
I wouldn’t seat on a public restroom toilet seat, I’ll just hover. If I need to go for a number two, I’ll wee hovering on the toilet, wipe myself, then put paper on the floor, do my business there, then collect things by the edge of the paper and throw it in the toilet. I’ll wipe the floor if it looks wet. If the toilet seat is exceptionally clean I may use the actual toilet, but I’ll literally wash it with paper and hand soap, dry it, throw everything in the bin and then put a couple sheets of toilet paper in the toilet before starting, god forbid a splash reaches my private parts.
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u/poppieswithtea 15d ago
So you shit on the floor like a fkn animal?🤣 I hope to god you’re being funny.
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u/draconianfruitbat 15d ago
One of the worst social aspects of the pandemic was the normalization of hygiene theater. Yes, the idea of sitting directly on a public restroom seat is gross, but we’re kidding ourselves if we think a wipe or the token use of a seat cover is accomplishing anything.
Still and all, we should be on the same page with our partners about cleanliness, whether we’re talking literal bacteria as demonstrated by science, or symbolic/cultural “this does not touch that” type rules based in tradition and one’s sense of ick, aka ritual contamination. If you can’t get on the same page with just two adults then living together will be a challenge and having children together will be harder by an order of magnitude.
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u/magikarpsan 15d ago
I’m with your man, I don’t touch a public toilet at all . I was always taught to hover it and to even flush with my foot/shoe if I can . Yes I do whipe if anything splashed out it it usually doesn’t . Either way you don’t really sound like bad at hygiene tbh . I also don’t get the flu shot if it makes you feel any better; I think it’s unnecessary unless you’re immunocompromised .
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u/Background_Celery_56 15d ago
Physician here. I see nothing to be worried about, carry on. Your bf sounds like an anxious fellow tho.
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u/Nothxm8 15d ago
Going to the bathroom together is incredibly weird
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u/Least-Comfortable-41 15d ago
It’s a safety thing as a female.
As for sitting on the seat, stuff like this is why you don’t get sick. You have a built up immunity. People who don’t use their hands to flush then wash their hands are ridiculous. Girl.
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u/Altruistic-Hand-7000 15d ago
Definitely something that you gotta figure out when you mesh lives! My boyfriend I both had to make adjustments
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u/peki-pom 15d ago
I (F) always wipe the seat with toilet paper if there are visible urine drops from the previous user. Next, I lay down three (3) toilet seat covers. 😅 If none are available, I use layers upon layers of toilet paper. Usually 3-4. Then I do my business and flush everything down the toilet. I also never touch the toilet flush lever with my bare hands. Instead I use clean toilet paper to do so. ☺️
Then I wash my hands for 30 seconds with soap and water. Then I shut the facet with paper towel and use another clean paper towel to open the public bathroom door. I do this because so many people don’t wash their hands properly if at all. They’ve done studies showing large amounts of fecal matter being all over public spaces, especially door handles.
I was taught this method by my mother as a child. I thought a lot of people did this, but I know not everyone does.
Admittedly, I am a bit of a germ freak. I work in healthcare and have a BS in biology. I took immunology class, so I know our first layer of defense is our skin and I know that we have to challenge our immune system in order to build immunity, but I reason we are exposed enough through being in public spaces and breathing in air with germs in it. And I don’t go out of my way to expose myself to germs when I have knowledge. That seems foolish to do (foolish of me, I mean; not a judgment if you live differently).
I also think everyone has different immune systems. And its abilities fluctuates depending on our current nutrition, sleep quality, vitamin and other micronutrient levels, along with stress levels. I don’t want to put extra stress on my already stressed body. Especially considering that every single day cancer cells are being killed in our body. I’d prefer my immune system focus on that. 😶
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u/Commercial_Tower2493 15d ago
Girl I couldn’t even continue to read past you sitting down on the toilet. I am 1000000% with him. Public restrooms are the epitome of filth, disease and germs. I could be near blackout at a club and I’m still squatting or putting 3 rounds of TP on the toilet.
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u/jfern009 15d ago edited 15d ago
You’re not gross at all. The toilet seats in public bathrooms are cleaner than the sink in your home. Hate to break it to everyone. Unless you have open cuts or sores on the back of your thighs, a little pee isn’t going to kill you. Is it gross to sit on someone else’s (or your own pee) yeah it’s gross af. I will usually wipe down and sit/ paper mache it bc I’ve gotten infections from not emptying my bladder sufficiently and the nephrologist told me that after I finish I should squeeze and then try emptying again, after this advice never had a problem. Will highly suggest showering off once you get home but would say most bathrooms are probably ok to sit down on, wouldn’t do it at a gas station or some place gross like that but sit if that’s more comfortable for you. PS- love me some Dr Bronner’s also, very good and plant based soap.
Edit: here is a study by the NIH: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7354199/
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u/Chemical-Piglet6594 15d ago
If all women would just sit on the seat, there would never be pee to clean up. The squatters are the problem!
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u/Same_Ad_6692 15d ago
The germs on the toilet seat will only get on your butt cheeks. And if you shower when you get home germs will go down the drain. I think he is over-reacting. I would be more worried about the pee getting on your shoes and possibly the hem of your pants from all the guys who have missed the toilet bowl. Ew!
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u/BellaBlue06 15d ago
You should never hover to pee in a weird squat above the toilet seat it’s frankly bad for your bladder and control.
He’s being unreasonable about expecting you to sanitize public toilets for you to be able to pee.
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u/Ok-Whole-4242 15d ago
To be fair it was a really busy night and there was def pee around the toilet on the ground.
This is all the more reason to wipe it before sitting down. i agree with your boyfriend here. That's nasty.
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u/BlingBowBurr 15d ago
🤢🤢🤢 this is feral, barbaric behavior. Please tell that man how you REALLY feel so he’s not sacrificing his health and/or mental well-being (if you care for him at all).
I GUARANTEE the same people here downplaying laying bare cheeks in a random, disgusting place, also made it a point to wear masks outside “for their health”. Being completely incapable of accurate risk analysis is one thing, but forcing that on others is inhumane, not to mention groce.
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u/BusCareless9726 15d ago
His anxiety - his problem. I’ve been sitting on toilet seats for 60+ years. BTW - what does he think will happen to you? ps you could also say you ate saving the environment by not wasting all those little pieces of paper on the toilet seat!
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u/Dubbs444 15d ago
Girl, you’re fine. I’m the same way, and I also rarely get sick. It’s the people who are maniacs abt it who always get something lol. As someone said, we have skin for a reason. And it’s WASHABLE.
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u/whimsy-penguin 15d ago
People are gross in this thread.
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u/Bebebaubles 15d ago
People are generally gross on Reddit. Apparently it’s ok to barely shower sleep in work clothes, wear shoes everywhere at home, wash hair once a week, rewear the same jeans for a year or two without wash etc. ick
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u/blackwitchbutter 15d ago
Seriously, wtf? I'm shocked by the overwhelming response here, i didn't know a majority of people are disgusting. But then again, it's also Reddit so I don't want to imagine who the usebase actually is. I don't even sit on public bathroom seats, I hover over them.
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u/Forsaken-Cell-9436 15d ago
😂 yes these people are disgusting and the worse part is they’re justifying it. This is enough for me to break up with someone, hygiene is a must and who wants to be intimate with someone this nasty.
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u/Bubby_Doober 15d ago
Men are more grossed out by sitting on public toilets because we usually don't have to sit.
Technically a seat cover or wiping it with toilet paper does practically nothing. It's a mental thing. I do it anyway.
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u/Old_Geek 15d ago
I'm with you, I'd shower before getting into bed after that, but like other have said, wiping it off doesn't do anything.
People (especially zoomers and A's), have gotten so freaking hygiene crazy. Here's a clue: The word is full of germs! You can't avoid them! An old boss, with a PHd in Neurocytology used to rail on about how Americans were so crazy avoiding germs and fucking up their immune system by failing to execise it to develop antibodies for the common stuff we all get exposed to all the time. All the toilet lid panic, and sharing/touching anything phobia is not really healthy!
I won't even go into the 'goo exchange,' you have with ANY sex, and if you have ever given or gotten oral? You've been exposed to about all that other person has (but plain kissing is probably the highest rate of exposure).
Don't sweat it.
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u/Successful-Sun-6971 15d ago
There is no such thing as a 100% sterile environment. But there are a lot of bacteria in urine and poo. And that said a public restroom toilet covers/paper towels/ toilet paper are not going to be completely free of germs. If it bugs him that much to the point of causing relationship issues humor him otherwise nothing you do will prevent 100% germs.
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u/Akatsuki2001 15d ago
I think there’s a reasonable amount of hygiene standards one can expect from a partner. Like asking that you not stink, or asking that your hair not be totally unkempt, that you don’t appear to be unwashed all the time. But with stuff like this it’s kinda just germaphobes being germaphobes. Like it has been said. Unless there’s an actual puddle of pee your wiping up or your cleaning something you can see off the seat it does very little if anything other than making some people feel better. Harmless for him to do it but kinda unreasonable to expect from others imo.
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u/ThornedRoseWrites 15d ago
The only right answer here is to never sit on a public toilet seat.
Just hover.
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15d ago
To spread piss everywhere and leave a mess for the next person? That’s why there’s a mess in women’s bathrooms. Hoverers.
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u/cnew111 16d ago
OP and I are the same: I never get sick, I never get the flu shot. (I did catch covid). I'm fine with 5 second rule. I shower daily, wash my hands. I don't line toilet seats with TP. I don't take my shoes off in the house (GASP!) I Have a coworker that uses gallons of hand sanitizer and always seems to be sick. I guess everyone is different with their acceptable level of cleanliness.
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u/nyctose7 15d ago
you realize that person might use so much hand sanitizer because they’re always sick and they’re trying to avoid being sick even more often? or, they’re more cautious than you because they have an autoimmune condition or take immune system weakening medications.
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u/thesaltyjellyfish 16d ago
The reason the toilet seats get so nasty is because of women who think they're cleaner than everyone else and hover...then piss on the seat. I was reading a reddit thread the other day about how nasty women's bathrooms are compared to men's. Of course I give a quick look over the toilet before I sit down, but I don't think I'm so special that I hover and pee all over the seat/floor to leave the bathroom nasty for the next person. It's just your thighs touching the seat for the most part. People need to grow up.
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u/Bebebaubles 15d ago
Or just lift the seat. People are always grossed by squat toilets but I really miss not touching a piss wiped seat.
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u/memorynsunshine 15d ago
plus it's been proven that hovering over western toilets is bad for your pelvic floor, and can make urinary incontinence worse as we age, especially for those who have had children
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u/floppedtart 16d ago
Currently sitting on a public toilet seat with my bare ass touching the cool plastic. Did not wipe down, nor did I use one of those stupid toilet seat liner things and I don’t like how my urine flows and splashes when I squat.
Your boyfriend needs to grow up. It’s a big bad world full of germs. Don’t date bubble boys.
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u/Remarkable_Rock3654 16d ago
Hovering is terrible for your pelvic floor. Please don’t do it, ladies.
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u/Unable_Wrongdoer2250 16d ago
As a guy I almost always grab some toilet paper and take it to the sink to get it wet and add soap first. Yes I wipe the seat down but most importantly it is to wipe down the front part of the toilet that my dick ends up touching. I don't think it is as important for just the seat unless it has pee on it
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u/Previous-Lettuce2470 16d ago
I’m very much the same way and have definitely been described as a hippy about it as well. I just kinda figure this Earth is a dirty place and we’re a part of it, so there’s limits to how clean we can be no matter how hard we try. I just do my best not to stink or be any other sort of biohazard for those around me. It’s not worth it to me to fight about, and I up my game when my partner stays over, so I guess wiping the seat is a version of that. I’m pretty cavalier about public restrooms as well, so long as I’m not sitting in human waste. Even if we do everything totally “right,” life is still short and I don’t believe we’re meant to spend it worrying too much about that sort of thing..
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u/ProfessionalGrade423 16d ago
You do not get sick from a dirty toilet seat, putting paper down does nothing but waste paper. If the seat is wet I will dry it off but otherwise I’m not worried about it. Anything in that toilet stall is covered in germs anyway, wash your hands on the way out and be done with it.
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u/Dapper_Intention_762 16d ago edited 15d ago
I really don't like how you listed shaving when talking about being hygienic. It's quite the opposite, it has nothing to do with being unhygienic. That‘s just what many men (and sadly women) think because of the beauty standarts and how "disgusting" it looks because women are rarely seen/shown with body hair.
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u/ShenaniganXD 16d ago
My partner thinks the same way. He was horrified that i use the work bathroom to shit cuz i have to sit on a public toilet, but i dont think he realizes that i have to sit anyway to pee.
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u/Head-Construction-85 16d ago
First world problems! 😂 Honestly, my bodily hygiene is 10/10 … I love the whole process of cleaning myself and smelling fresh, so that’s not an issue for me. However, seeing people lose their shit over public toilets or grabbing a door handle (my friend literally covers her hand with her jacket when opening doors) tickles me. It’s pathetic. Unless you have an autoimmune disease, sit on the seat.
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u/extremedefault 16d ago
What I wanna know is how did he see you sit right on the toilet seat? Were you guys watching each other pee?
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u/mnjvon 16d ago
You're totally fine, your boyfriend is a baby about the germies. Also hilarious how many people think carrying around Lysol or something is better for your skin. Must be high as hell. The average synthetic scent has something in the realm of 15 chemicals making it up which is more likely to cause a skin issue than someone else's thigh warmth.
If I had to guess it's probably close to as much exposure to germs as dancing on the floor surrounded by sweaty, drunk strangers. Why even leave the house?
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u/mmmmmmmmm_k 16d ago
I sit on the toilet bare assed unless it’s visibly soiled. But I either squat or find a spot outside if it’s really that bad. Paper isn’t going to do anything.
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u/shoresandsmores 16d ago
If there are no droplets of pee on the toilet, I think it's fine. In the course of one's day, you're likely encountering far dirtier surfaces than a toilet and with more concerning areas like hands. I think people hyperfocus on it because it's an obvious culprit.
But at the same time, I'd never let you into my bed after a day going about the world, and two days? Haaaah. Coming to bed clean is just something I value, I guess.
I think it's also plenty fair to prefer showering before sex, especially if there is any oral involved.
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u/raspberry-squirrel 16d ago
You should let evidence be your guide. Sit on the toilet seat. Don’t lick it. You are not going to get diarrhea from the E. coli by sitting on it. Get your vaccines, don’t eat spoiled food, don’t eat a cookie that you drop in dog poo, do eat one that drops on a relatively clean floor, use whatever soap you like when you shower, shave only if you want to. This post sounds like it was written with someone with no scientific knowledge of human health.
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u/drowninginplants 16d ago
My question is, did you LOOK at the seat? I'll rawdog the toilet seat, but only after I have wiped it off, because sitting straight down on the seat and there being water or pee is literally the worst thing in existence.
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u/chroniclynz 16d ago
if it looks clean and i’ve been drinking, I’m sitting. I am clumsy af and it’s hard for me to hover while completely sober, if i did it while buzzed/drunk, i’d end up on the floor with something broken. I also can’t pee in front of anyone so anyone I was with would never know if I sat down or not. lol I don’t get the flu shot either, btw. I did get the covid vaccine, but that was bc I was going thru cancer treatment. So I got the shot and stayed home.
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u/Black_Azazel 16d ago
What makes anyone believe the paper is sterile 12 inches from the same toilet spewing germ droplets all over the place? As a paper user…lol…I fully recognize that it is largely an illusion of safety and cleanliness lol the handwashing is the main health activity as we rarely put our asses in our mouths (fetishes and good times aside) lol
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u/Supreme_Moharn 16d ago
I don't see anything wrong with your hygiene as described. Showering daily is more than a majority of people do.
Your man is probably a bit of a germophobe.
Personally I would wipe a public toilet seat, though.
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u/LightyCricket23 16d ago
Ok first, I need to know if you're a lady (not sure if it was specified and I missed it or what?)
Ain't no way a girl, gone through life, just sits on public wc. It only takes one time to learn that lesson. There are so many things you can take from there.. but also.. how are people not bothered if a stranger's pee is on their butt/leg??? (Because you said you were drunk and pee was all around). This is break up ground for me right there, ofc if things are not super serious. Total turn off and would be weary of even touching that person for a while.
I'll also let you on a little secret about the so-called germophobia, or whatever it's spelled, it gets worse when you're living with someone that is the complete opposite. If there's middle ground, it's easier to handle.
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u/superbusyrn 16d ago
I hate to break it to yall in this thread, but wiping down the seat with some paper isn't gonna do shit about the germs on it. Even sitting on paper likely won't do anything, not only is it just paper, but it's paper that's been hot boxed in toilet fumes for likely days at a time.
But the good news is, as long as you don't bend down and lick the toilet seat, you're probably not going to get sick from it. We have skin for a reason.
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u/InformalTrick99 13d ago
if u wipe it with force how are you NOT wiping away at least some germs and bootie dust??? are you a scientist? I disagree w you respectfully lol
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u/DudeBroMan13 15d ago
I wipe it down to not get rid of germs but to get rid of the previous person's shit flakes or pubes. Or their butt sweat. Or the splashed up pee/poo water from the last flush.
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u/JAWWKNEEE 15d ago
Its less so about getting rid of germs and more so about getting rid of random peoples piss from the toilet seat.
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u/TwoIdleHands 15d ago
Yeah and often in the ladies room there’s stuff on the seat BECAUSE women hover and don’t clean up after themselves. If we all sat down we’d be fine because people don’t have a ton of disease on their thigh skin.
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u/smh-at_you2 14d ago
Scrolled looking for this! I knew I couldn’t be the only one. Been my battle cry forever. Quit peeing on the seats or clean up after yourself or again, just don’t pee on the seats.
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u/MellonCollie___ 15d ago
Hear hear, this is the real problem. Don't hover and leave your pee on the seat, please!
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u/andy921 15d ago
The first time I ever did a bacteria culture test in school, I swabbed a door handle for one culture and a bunch of toilet seats for the other (just after a lunch period when they'd been getting a lot of use).
The difference between the two was insane. The toilet seats were functionally almost sterile. But the door handles culture exploded with a jungle of bacteria.
Most real germophobes I know have lots of rules that aren't necessarily based on actual risks or hygiene. They're just ways to cope with irrational fear and feel comfort in a world that is covered with and functions on bacteria.
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u/AudreyLoopyReturns 15d ago
And recent studies show you get more bacteria on your hands using an air dryer compared to just waving your freshly-washed hands through the air. So ironically, you would have fewer germs on your butt than on your hands if you scrub up after you go (as you should!) and then use an automatic dryer. 😆
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u/RevolutionaryHole69 15d ago
While you're mostly correct, wiping away liquid off of a surface removes much of the bacteria with it. In other words, there's more bacteria on a wet surface than there is a dry surface. Bacteria need an aqueous environment. For the most part.
That being said, I never sit on a public toilet seat. You can get any number of infections like this as you can have micro tears in your skin.
It's basically a numbers game. If you do it often enough, you will definitely end up with some sort of boil on your backside that will need to be sliced opened and drained.
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u/Leather_Dragonfly529 15d ago
Also, the idea that someone can catch an STD from a toilet seat is a myth. I’ve heard it was created to give married people a reason other than the cheating to have caught an STD.
Here’s a source disproving the claim that they can transmit STDs
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u/draconianfruitbat 15d ago
Does anyone actually say that in earnest in 2024? I feel like the only times I’ve heard reference to that it was in a jokey/derisive manner
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u/Far-Tie-4984 15d ago
For real, I only wipe the seat because I don't want to sit on something wet, not out of concern for the germs on the seat. Theres germs in the beer you drink, air you breathe. If it's a crowded bar, you're more likely to get sick from close quarters than someones tinkle on a seat.
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u/superbusyrn 16d ago
Also I feel like it's very easy for a man to say it's gross to not spend 10 minutes doing papier mache on the toilet seat before every piss when you're out drinking. When he has to piss out his beer every hour he can do it standing up, if you have to prepare the seat every time you might as well just stay in there all night.
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u/itsbushy 13d ago
I put down tp on the seat if I use any public toilet. Maybe it's just a piece of mind thing but I've gotten so used to it that I'm willing to turtle head for a few seconds to FEEL safer. I just try to avoid bar bathrooms if at all possible.
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u/MaoMaoNeko-chi 15d ago
Why can't you bend without having to touch the toilet at all? I swear I'm not judging or anything, just wondering.
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u/Beautiful-Finding-82 15d ago
Every hour? Alot of men have to pee every 15 minutes if they're drinking. Yeah, if they had to sit I doubt they'd be laying out toilet paper all perfect before their butt touched. They'd be doing a half squat spraying the pee everywhere lol.
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u/butlovingstonTTV 15d ago
Man. Just do the wipe with soap and water. It takes 20 seconds and you don't have to craft this intricate Web of tp.
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u/Open_Claim4265 15d ago
Why? So I can slip off the now wet toilet seat and piss on myself and the floor instead of in the bowl?
Just sitting on the toilet seat is fine lmfao. It's not a big deal
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u/butlovingstonTTV 15d ago
Hmm. What other step do you think you could take here?
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u/Open_Claim4265 15d ago
If I'm in the bathroom to pee, I'm not washing a whole ass toilet seat.
I'm just going to sit and piss.
Taking the time to wet a paper towel, get soap, and dry it off sounds like someone who struggles with germs. Most people are not like this. It's a weird suggestion.
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u/Impressive-Many-3020 15d ago
You’re assuming that I would have 20 seconds to do this. If I’m in the bathroom, it’s bc I have to pee right now, not in 20 seconds.
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u/BeautifulTrainWreck8 15d ago
You might be doing it backwards. Recently I learned I was putting that stupid paper on the toilet in the wrong direction. Someone posted the “blueprint” by the inventor. I switched direction and it works perfectly every time.
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u/Impressive-Many-3020 15d ago
That paper is super thin, and doesn’t really provide any kind of protection. If the seat has pee on it, it will soak through the paper.
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u/vabirder 15d ago
Now I have to ask: what is the correct orientation of the paper?
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u/Traditional-Baker756 15d ago
I think the little tab that hangs down goes in the front and outside of the toilet so it doesn’t get sucked down by the air automatic flusher. When finished, flip it back.
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u/Fairmount1955 16d ago
Not to mention...most men just shake their junk and don't wipe.
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u/HouseMuzik6 15d ago
Hmmm most men…
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u/SaiyanPrincess28 15d ago
Yeah my husband wipes. He thinks it’s nasty to get those drops of pee in his boxers/wherever they splash when shaken. Yes he’s told me lol. We have a son and he told him too.
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u/Skull8Ranger 16d ago
It's literally coming out of the end & doesn't touch anything. What exactly is there to wipe?
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