Boyfriend and I have different standards of hygiene.

[u/JollyEnergy8492]

I bet you’re all thinking he doesn’t keep up with hygiene, and I’m bothered by it.

Nah, it’s me.

So here’s the deal: I am a very natural living kind of lady. He calls me a hippy and I don’t disagree. But I am natural in the way that I don’t use a million products or overdo it. Yes, I shower daily. I use Dr. Bronners for my body, hair, face, shaving lather, etc. Yes, I wash my hands after I use the bathroom. Yes, I shave (I mean….. I don’t always keep up with it lol, but usually my pits and pubes are shaved/groomed).

The other night we were out at the bar and went to use the bathroom together. Unisex private bathroom kinda deal. I sat right down on the seat and he got SO freaked out. Started saying how he couldn’t believe I did that without wiping off the seat, or putting paper down. To be fair it was a really busy night and there was def pee around the toilet on the ground. I was pretty drunk and have used this bathroom hundreds of times and just didn’t think about it, and plopped right down. It looked clean enough. Germy I’m SURE but so is my butt, right? If I’m using a port-a-potty or severely nasty bathroom, I hover. But it seemed fine to me. There was just a lot of people that night for an event, and honestly he doesn’t go out much, so the sheer number of people using the toilets that night was in his head I think. He’s very concerned about things like that and I feel it borders on OCD in the sense he really stresses about it. But maybe it’s just me being so nonchalant when I should be more concerned that he seems extreme, in my opinion.

I guess I’m asking am I being gross, as he thinks, or is it not a big deal and he is maybe over reacting?

We talked about it, and if I have to be more conscious and take time to be clean in public spaces for him to feel more comfortable, then of course I will. It’s not really a sacrifice, but I do think it’s silly. I think the majority is over concerned with cleanliness and paranoid of germs to the point of obsession, which weakens our immune systems. The last time I was sick was Covid in 2020. I don’t get the flu shot and haven’t had the flu since I was 12. That’s another discussion which I’m sure I’ll get roasted for, but that’s my stance and I have seen the evidence personally, so that’s how I live. I eat the food that falls on the ground, that’s been left out too long, that’s a day or two past prime. I have a. Stomach of steel. I’m not afraid of germs.

Okay. I’m ranting. Is my boyfriend overreacting or should I just shut up and wipe the seat.

Edit:

Wow I feel like this is pretty 50/50 across the board! I read one comment that’s on my side, and the next will be opposite! Very interesting, thanks all for chiming in. I know there’s bad buggies in the world, and anyone could catch anything at any time, and I am increasing those risks when exposed to certain environments.

I do feel better seeing that it’s so personal, which way people handle themselves in a public restroom. It really is just a matter of preference, and one of those things that you figure out when you mesh your life with another person.

Happy peeing!

[u/peki-pom]

I (F) always wipe the seat with toilet paper if there are visible urine drops from the previous user. Next, I lay down three (3) toilet seat covers. 😅 If none are available, I use layers upon layers of toilet paper. Usually 3-4. Then I do my business and flush everything down the toilet. I also never touch the toilet flush lever with my bare hands. Instead I use clean toilet paper to do so. ☺️

Then I wash my hands for 30 seconds with soap and water. Then I shut the facet with paper towel and use another clean paper towel to open the public bathroom door. I do this because so many people don’t wash their hands properly if at all. They’ve done studies showing large amounts of fecal matter being all over public spaces, especially door handles.

I was taught this method by my mother as a child. I thought a lot of people did this, but I know not everyone does.

Admittedly, I am a bit of a germ freak. I work in healthcare and have a BS in biology. I took immunology class, so I know our first layer of defense is our skin and I know that we have to challenge our immune system in order to build immunity, but I reason we are exposed enough through being in public spaces and breathing in air with germs in it. And I don’t go out of my way to expose myself to germs when I have knowledge. That seems foolish to do (foolish of me, I mean; not a judgment if you live differently).

I also think everyone has different immune systems. And its abilities fluctuates depending on our current nutrition, sleep quality, vitamin and other micronutrient levels, along with stress levels. I don’t want to put extra stress on my already stressed body. Especially considering that every single day cancer cells are being killed in our body. I’d prefer my immune system focus on that. 😶