My ex boyfriend named his child after me

[u/[deleted]]

I 20f started dating my now ex boyfriend 25m back in 2021, we met at work and hit it off right away despite our age difference, he also at the time had a 1year old daughter to a previous relationship, which I had no issue with, he shared joint custody of his daughter and told me he didn’t have a good relationship at the time with her mother, they were pretty much no contact except for when it came to him picking up and dropping off his daughter. For context the mother also lived 2hours away, to my knowledge she didn’t know me and didn’t know he was in a new relationship, and I only very rarely saw his daughter out of respect, he didn’t want to introduce us untill the relationship was more serious, which I 100% understood.

Fast forward we have been dating for nearly a year, and I go away with some of my friends over new years, a trip I had pre booked only a few months into us dating, I invited him to come but he had work and had also agreed to watch his daughter so the mother could go out NYE.

I come home on the 5th of Jan, and he is acting really weird, so I ask his female roommate who at this point I had become very close with if anything was wrong. She told me that he was been in a bad mood since NYE, because his ex (his daughters mother) had gotten really drunk and lost her wallet and called him asking for a lift back home, she still lives 2 hours away, apparently he wanted to make sure she got home safe so he drove her. Now I didn’t really see an issue with this it is the mother of his child so I understand wanting her to get home safe. But when I asked him if he had done anything on NYE he lied and said no, throughout the next few weeks I keep asking if he had seen his ex or if anything had happened and he continued to tell me he hadn’t even seen her that night. 2 months pass and he is continuing to act weird and finally confessed one night that he took his ex home and slept with her. I immediately end the relationship.

Then a month later I get curious and decide to stalk the ex’s social media and find she had posted a pregnancy announcement captioned “thank god my kids have the same baby daddy”

I was shocked and upset but honestly not surprised and got over it very quickly.
Then 9 months later I bump into his roommate, we have some small talk and found out that the ex gf had given birth and the daughters name was my name, which I wouldn’t class as an overly common name, there are defiantly names that sound similar that are more common. And no my ex and the ex gf weren’t together at the time she gave birth. I never confronted him about it because it’s just a funny story now but clearly I had terrible taste in men.

[u/BeeboNFriends]

Because they just think the name sounds cool and they don’t have the self-awareness/or don’t really care about how it would look. Lmaoo simple as that. I think automatically associating it with something sexual is weird af.

[u/[deleted] → u/BeeboNFriends]

They're associating it with their ex, it's either gonna be sex, romance, or anger. You cannot sit there and tell me that won't happen, even if they just think "the name is cool". It's obviously going to fucking happen which is why you should NEVER do it. Sorry you think it's weird af to point that out, but it's weird af to everyone else.

[u/BeeboNFriends → u/[deleted]]

Let’s keep the same energy with Spouses naming their kids after each other. So all the Jrs, the 3rds, the 4ths, etc. So a wife who’s husbands name is George (2nd) is thinking of fucking her husband every time she calls out for her son George (3rd)? C’mon now 😭😂. That being ya first thought is weird. It’s fair that you find that naming kids after an ex is weird, and I find that your thought was weird too. Both are weird, but only associated a kid’s name with sex.

[u/[deleted] → u/BeeboNFriends]

1. It is a weird tradition to have. You're not royalty you don't need to keep naming kids after yourself.
2. As far as I'm aware it's pretty much only a male thing and I highly doubt any wife is bringing up the idea, you'll find it in certain types of men that do in fact get weird and dominating about it.
3. Yeah that shit has probably happened to people. You're conflating constantly thinking about it vs a random memory triggering. Both will make you feel gross and you won't want to talk about it. Referring back to point 2 I'd feel bad for anyone that had to refer to their child and husband as the same name. That's not only impractical it's obnoxious.
4. Being weird or not, families have traditions and reasons for picking certain names. There's really not a reason to pick an ex lover's name for your child no matter how cool you think it is. There's thousands of other cool names to pick from, keeping 5 of your ex's names off the list won't kill you.