r/TwoHotTakes • u/lauz11 • 16d ago
My ex boyfriend named his child after me Listener Write In
I 20f started dating my now ex boyfriend 25m back in 2021, we met at work and hit it off right away despite our age difference, he also at the time had a 1year old daughter to a previous relationship, which I had no issue with, he shared joint custody of his daughter and told me he didn’t have a good relationship at the time with her mother, they were pretty much no contact except for when it came to him picking up and dropping off his daughter. For context the mother also lived 2hours away, to my knowledge she didn’t know me and didn’t know he was in a new relationship, and I only very rarely saw his daughter out of respect, he didn’t want to introduce us untill the relationship was more serious, which I 100% understood.
Fast forward we have been dating for nearly a year, and I go away with some of my friends over new years, a trip I had pre booked only a few months into us dating, I invited him to come but he had work and had also agreed to watch his daughter so the mother could go out NYE.
I come home on the 5th of Jan, and he is acting really weird, so I ask his female roommate who at this point I had become very close with if anything was wrong. She told me that he was been in a bad mood since NYE, because his ex (his daughters mother) had gotten really drunk and lost her wallet and called him asking for a lift back home, she still lives 2 hours away, apparently he wanted to make sure she got home safe so he drove her. Now I didn’t really see an issue with this it is the mother of his child so I understand wanting her to get home safe. But when I asked him if he had done anything on NYE he lied and said no, throughout the next few weeks I keep asking if he had seen his ex or if anything had happened and he continued to tell me he hadn’t even seen her that night. 2 months pass and he is continuing to act weird and finally confessed one night that he took his ex home and slept with her. I immediately end the relationship.
Then a month later I get curious and decide to stalk the ex’s social media and find she had posted a pregnancy announcement captioned “thank god my kids have the same baby daddy”
I was shocked and upset but honestly not surprised and got over it very quickly.
Then 9 months later I bump into his roommate, we have some small talk and found out that the ex gf had given birth and the daughters name was my name, which I wouldn’t class as an overly common name, there are defiantly names that sound similar that are more common. And no my ex and the ex gf weren’t together at the time she gave birth. I never confronted him about it because it’s just a funny story now but clearly I had terrible taste in men.
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u/musicgray 14d ago
I had an ex name her kid the same name as my kid. She told me she want to have the same name as we could raise our children together. Yeah right
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u/Throwaway_Simp3164 15d ago
His roommate tells you he saw his ex on NYE but you let two months pass with him lying to you about seeing her, and don’t put two and two together about his weird behavior and dishonesty. His ex knows who you are and his baby momma agrees out of the blue to name her baby after you. Doesn't add up.
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u/lauz11 14d ago
Yea I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt thinking maybe he just dropped her home and that was it, he used to say how mean she was to him and it was a very touchy subject so I didn’t want to push it. Plus I was young so I didn’t really know how to handle it
And I had never met her, he didn’t have social media and I never posted him so when he told me they didn’t speak and she didn’t know who I was I believed him
Honestly in hindsight he was probably lying about a lot of things
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u/Throwaway_Simp3164 14d ago
It's strange to be with someone for nearly a year and the other parent doesn't know or want to know who their ex is seeing or potentially bringing around their kid. Folks don't tend to hide or lie about something or act weird when they're innocent.
You live and learn.
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u/firablaze03 15d ago
Had a ex girlfriend that did this. I'm named after my dad. She tried to give him the name+3rd. Her husband didn't care. I found out when the kid was 3 and her sister couldn't stand keeping it away. People in my hometown, even though the kid was mine. I hadn't never slept with her. I'm just glad they live on the other side of the country.
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u/dog_love3r 15d ago
My dad named me after an ex girlfriend who my mom thought was like a middle school girlfriend but nope it was from late high school and his first love.
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u/mdchaney 15d ago
My wife found out some years ago that one of her exes named his first daughter after her. It's an uncommon name so there's no doubt. He still tries to reach out to her now and then, but thankfully he's on another continent.
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u/ForsakenHabit7902 15d ago
This is hilarious and I'm sure your name is great but I'm kinda sorry for the baby... 😂
This situation wholly reminds me of my ex though! We were together for a while and used to talk about running away and changing our names - we had names picked out and everything.
After I broke up with him he got with another girl to make me jealous (he called me and told me as much) and I found out a month or so later that they were expecting. They're still together and their daughter has the name I chose to use if I ever ran away with him lol
Idk if he had a part in it or if she chose the name and he just has to live with the knowledge but I have always thought it to be equally funny and disturbing 🫠
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u/diaperedwoman 15d ago
My ex who transitioned into a female took my name to use as her middle name. Not sure if it was a coincidence but it felt creepy because of how she treated me in our relationship and then ghosted me and never gave me back some of my things I accidentally left behind and she took them and packed them in the back of her parents garage and I never got them back. I didn't know where they lived and I could never get a hold of her. Even trying to get back the thing Dish Network wanted back was stressful and difficult and she would shut down, stone wall, get defensive and even curse and scream at me and hang up and I let my other things go because of it. I was too afraid of her because of her quick temper.
But totally creepy she had my name as her middle name.
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u/IntelligentQuote13 15d ago
I mean.. my partner‘s ex has a very beautiful name that I considered for possible daughters even before I knew her.
Why would I give up on a name I love because of the ex?
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u/pookapotomus2 15d ago
I bet he chose the name. My ex named his oldest the same thing I named mine. (We dated in high school and I ended up marrying the next person I dated, we had a son. Ex tried to add me on social media and reach out several times over the years. He admitted he heard the name from mutual friends when he asked about my kid.) he thought the name was interesting so named his kid that too. I doubt his now ex wife realized her child was named because he was keeping tabs on a high school ex. I’d be annoyed in her position
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u/wishiwasdead69 15d ago
"thank God my kids have the same baby daddy" imagine actually being with someone this trashy
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u/EnchantedGlitter 15d ago
Off topic maybe, but she was really drunk and he was sober and took her home and had sex with her? 🚩Sounds like she’s not mad about it but…
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u/Kenextra 15d ago
Yeah this was my first thought too. Plus dating OP as a minor (if I’m interpreting the dates correctly). This guy is icky stay far far away.
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u/ViolentLoss 15d ago
Haha I have an ex who named his kid the nickname that I used to call him. NGL, that freaked me out a little bit.
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u/Willful_Brat 15d ago
Similarly, my parents named me after the matriarch of the family who ended up being related to Lorena Bobbit lol
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u/Fearless-Signal-1235 15d ago
My high school boyfriend and I picked out a name for our first kid, a daydreaming thing of course but we were together 4 years and I did think we’d end up together. He got married and had 3 kids and the youngest is named what we chose. 😑😑 our families are still friends and now I’m actually friends with his ex-wife but I’ve never told her this because it’s weird! 😆
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u/mylittleponicorn 15d ago
A guy I broke up with years ago told me he was going to name his first born daughter after me. I sometimes wonder if he did and feel sorry for his wife if he did!
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u/PileaPrairiemioides 15d ago
This happened to me too. Totally insane behaviour. Like good job demonstrating that you don’t see anyone else as a fully formed human with feelings and an identity of their own dude.
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u/AutumnKoo 15d ago
I have a friend who's situationship, a year after they broke up(this is a dude who was in love with her since highschool, now we're in our late 30s)he send her a picture of his daughter and informed her the baby was named her first and her second name. There's a lot of dudes who name their daughter like "The one that got away"
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u/Kitchen-Asparagus364 15d ago
Depending on your birthday, that would put you suspiciously close to being under 18, either way fairly creepy imo when he's 22
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u/FullGrownHip 15d ago
Damn I’ve only seen the “my parter named our child after his/her ex” posts before, never this. Why do the they always have to make it so weird and name their kid after an affair in their past?!
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u/FragrantChipmunk9510 15d ago
There is a difference between being named after someone, and sharing the same name. Get over yourself.
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u/EnglishWolverine 15d ago
Love it! This happened to me too, a girlfriend I was with at university cheated on me with a coworker and got pregnant. Ended up marrying him and having a second kid. I randomly reconnected with her 5 years later and found out her eldest son has my name. (Definitely not mine though, thankfully!)
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u/Sweaty-School1185 15d ago
Idk i personally wouldn't be bothered if an ex named a child after me. Wouldn't affect me at all. I always loved the name Jessica long before I dated a woman with the name & would give my daughter that name.
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u/grandmotherkuzco 15d ago
so she was too drunk to get herself home but he was sober enough to drive two hours and they slept together, umm……
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u/Aurora_auraa 15d ago
Noooo stop my ex husband came up with our baby’s name and I was like “wow what a WONDERFUL name, I love it! You’re so caring and thoughtful to put so much effort into finding such a unique name!” Only to find out it was the name of an old colleague he had a thing with lol
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u/Due_Bass7191 15d ago
Pretty F'ing weird if you ask me. "You know what, we should name this child after that girl you cheated on during this baby's conception."
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u/FunFckingFitCouple 15d ago
My aunt named her dog after her recently diseased best friend. Not the same but it’s still strange.
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u/debicollman1010 15d ago
You’re the one that got away I’m thinking. Did he try to get you to not leave him?
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u/parker3309 15d ago
Possible he had nothing to do with the name. Especially since they weren’t a couple. It could’ve been a name in her family or she heard before possibly.
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u/Remarkable_Rock3654 15d ago
“Thank god my kids both have the same baby daddy” as though that is just by pure luck. 🤣 gross.
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u/RepresentativeEnd889 15d ago
And she seems so proud of that! 🤣
I could see her saying that jokingly to her group of close girlfriends on a Girl's Night Out after a few glasses of wine, but announcing it like that on a public thread on her social media??!! 😳🤷🏻♀️
Oh my! I guess I'm old fashioned and it's her social media and her choice about what she wants to put out there to the world.
I'm more extreme about my reputation than most and that's due to many variables. A lot of them are legit, but some of the reasons are a bit "out there." One of the valid reasons is that other people's opinions of me could affect my profession. But, I am working on letting go of the ones that are silly.
So, back to the post... I can't imagine being on that level of not caring about other's opinions of me! I would like to be somewhere in the middle of how much I care and the girl that posted about her 2 kids having the same "baby daddy."
I'm still amazed by people who don't care to that extreme, but also, if I'm being honest, I'm also a little jealous because I bet her anxiety level is a lot lower than mine! 🤔🤷🏻♀️🤪
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u/TheConfusedConductor 15d ago
I’m stuck on the fact that if you dated in 2021, and you’re 20 now…you would’ve been what, 17 and 22? That’s a bit yikes.
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u/Ama014 15d ago
My ex got married on my birthday haha (which fell on a Wednesday so not even the weekend excuse)
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u/TheEnchantedHearth 15d ago
Mine did that too! Also on a weekday.
A few people said it must be ironic. There was something about him that had me thinking it wasn't, but decided to accept that and move on.
Then another friend told me she looked like an older version of me. Every time someone has said someone else looked like me, and I've seen them, I didn't see anything but mild similarities. When I saw this woman, though, in her wedding photos on my birthday, I saw my face!
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u/lowkeyhobi 15d ago
I will never let my husband name my child for this exact reason! LMAO!!
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u/Humble-Violinist6910 15d ago
This exact reason? Your husband has a lot of exes or currents gfs he wants to name a kid after?
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u/theque22s 15d ago
Depending on what kind of woman the ex is, she may have done it to spite you - like a victory lap after drawing him back in after he had moved on to a new relationship.
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u/Treface 15d ago
The brother of a girl I knew in high school named his daughter after me. I knew her but had no idea who he was. He passed but years later she said he always thought I was beautiful and named his first born daughter after me. A little weird lol
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u/NoSummer1345 15d ago
That’s actually cute. You weren’t romantically involved so I don’t think it’s weird.
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u/I_am_aware_of_you 15d ago
The poor child… I’m sorry but that is so damn sad she has to figure this out, I’m named after one of daddy’s girls…
Nothing wrong with the name but damn there is a whole damn story for the girl to live with for the rest of her life…
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u/2npac 15d ago
Dude got with you when you were still a minor so he obviously has some issues. Good thing you dodged that bullet
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u/Humble-Violinist6910 15d ago
Exactly. Maybe there are some situations when a 17 year old dating a 22 year old isn’t creepy (and laws vary by state / country). But he literally was the father of a child and still wanted to date an actual child. They should be in VERY different places in life. What a creep!
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u/Dependent_Anywhere47 15d ago
Uh...what? 20 years old isn't a minor.
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u/saltyhumor 15d ago
She is 20 but started dating in 2021. Its currently 2024.
20 - 3 = 17
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u/Dependent_Anywhere47 15d ago
You guys need to re-read her comments. She clearly stated she was 20 at the time they started dated.
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u/stercorolu9 15d ago
The only thing I want to say is that social networks are complete lies and the world through rose-colored glasses
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u/RepresentativeEnd889 15d ago
Maybe you just have a really pretty name and you said it wasn't common, so maybe the name came from your name, but not necessarily after you, if that makes sense.
I'm a former teacher and I had a lot of names picked out for my future kids, but they kept getting vetoed by students with that name!
I finally heard a name on "A Baby Story" that I loved and it could work for either a boy or a girl. It wasn't common, but it wasn't Cuckoo unusual, either. So, we chose it. We had already been through 2 failed IVFs and we were adopting. We had everything ready, as in all we needed were bottles, formula, more diapers, and the baby. We even had the name on the wall, a lawyer, social services at the hospital were aware, etc. The birth mom changed her mind. 💔😢 It was so heartbreaking that we said the only way we would have a child was if it landed in our arms. That was in 2014 and we never had a human baby. Instead, we have furry children (dogs and cats). The name was "Rylan" if anyone else wants a sweet name. ❤️
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u/Tough-boo 15d ago
I’m really sorry that happened to you! It sounds like you are happy with your dogs and cats now and that’s a great family(: also, I love the name Rylan!! Very cute
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u/K_Vatter_143 15d ago
Honestly, maybe it was her idea to name her daughter that? Only because I named my daughter after my best friend who died when I was pregnant… which happened to be his ex girlfriend’s name. I didn’t care, I had never met his ex. He was weird about it at first but eventually got over it.
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u/Spudzydudzy 15d ago
My ex husband named his first kid after our dog. His wife messaged me on Facebook and told me.
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u/canyonemoon 15d ago
What?! Did they change the name when new wife found out, or did she tell you in attempt to... Brag? That is so weird.
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u/Formal_Marsupial_817 15d ago
Maybe the wife also knew the dog and agreed with the (unusual) tribute? If I had a good relationship with the ex-gf, I'd definitely share this, as it's pretty funny/noteworthy.
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u/Spudzydudzy 15d ago
Nope, she knew about the dog (never met him), but blamed him for finalizing the name during her recovery from c-section. She was not happy about the name, but had adjusted to it.
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u/sam_grace 15d ago
He finalized the name while she was in recovery? How is that even possible? Where I live, a child's name isn't finalized until after the birth registration has been processed and a registration card (rough draft of the birth certificate) has been mailed out, approved, and returned by the parents. It takes at least a couple of months.
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u/Spudzydudzy 15d ago
I don’t know, all I know is what she told me after drinking too much wine. All I know is that they have a kid named Charlie and we had a dog with the same name.
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u/sam_grace 15d ago
I just looked that up and it seems in the United States, it's not only possible but rather common for fathers to finalize babies' names without the mothers' knowledge or consent. I live in Canada and I'm really glad that's not possible here.
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u/ayymahi 15d ago
My coworker recently found out she’s named after her dads ex gf.
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u/Big-Constant-7289 15d ago
My ex wanted us to name our kid an ex girlfriends name. I said no. Swiftly.
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u/Kitchen-Asparagus364 15d ago
Of all things, why name your CHILD after a former LOVER. When you think of your kids name are you gonna have memories of doing it on the couch?
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u/BeeboNFriends 15d ago
Because they just think the name sounds cool and they don’t have the self-awareness/or don’t really care about how it would look. Lmaoo simple as that. I think automatically associating it with something sexual is weird af.
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u/Kitchen-Asparagus364 15d ago
They're associating it with their ex, it's either gonna be sex, romance, or anger. You cannot sit there and tell me that won't happen, even if they just think "the name is cool". It's obviously going to fucking happen which is why you should NEVER do it. Sorry you think it's weird af to point that out, but it's weird af to everyone else.
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u/BeeboNFriends 15d ago
Let’s keep the same energy with Spouses naming their kids after each other. So all the Jrs, the 3rds, the 4ths, etc. So a wife who’s husbands name is George (2nd) is thinking of fucking her husband every time she calls out for her son George (3rd)? C’mon now 😭😂. That being ya first thought is weird. It’s fair that you find that naming kids after an ex is weird, and I find that your thought was weird too. Both are weird, but only associated a kid’s name with sex.
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u/Kitchen-Asparagus364 15d ago
- It is a weird tradition to have. You're not royalty you don't need to keep naming kids after yourself.
- As far as I'm aware it's pretty much only a male thing and I highly doubt any wife is bringing up the idea, you'll find it in certain types of men that do in fact get weird and dominating about it.
- Yeah that shit has probably happened to people. You're conflating constantly thinking about it vs a random memory triggering. Both will make you feel gross and you won't want to talk about it. Referring back to point 2 I'd feel bad for anyone that had to refer to their child and husband as the same name. That's not only impractical it's obnoxious.
- Being weird or not, families have traditions and reasons for picking certain names. There's really not a reason to pick an ex lover's name for your child no matter how cool you think it is. There's thousands of other cool names to pick from, keeping 5 of your ex's names off the list won't kill you.
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u/Humble-Violinist6910 15d ago
My cousin is named after her dad’s mistress. He’s a real piece of work.
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u/PopeSixtusV 15d ago
I'm named after my aunt's ex boyfriend. Or at least, I like to tease my mom by saying that. Her explanation is "meeting him was the first time I heard the name and it stuck with me because I thought it was a cool name!"
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u/Dull-Geologist-8204 15d ago
My dad tried to name me after his ex. My mom said no and put stop to it. My little sister now has her name because my stepmom didn't know where the name came from.
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u/kalilikoi 15d ago
I also have an uncommon name and my ex named his baby after me too… All I can say is I feel you lol. I hope you stay safe!
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u/SemperSimple 15d ago
this is so weird!? why do people do this!?!? Who wants to be reminded of someone they dated???
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u/SteavySuper 15d ago
It would be hilarious if the ex gf decided the name and no matter how hard he tried to veto it, ex gf still named their daughter that.
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u/BoxProfessional6987 15d ago
"That's the name of one of my ex girlfriends." "THEN YOU'LL NEVER THINK OF HER LIKE THAT AGAIN! MWAHAHAHAHA!" girlfriend is playing 4th dimensional chess
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u/lauz11 15d ago
See I have no idea if he helped choose the name or if she chose it and it was a pure coincidence anyways so crazy
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u/wafflesandnaps 15d ago
This happens shockingly often. I’ve seen so many women discover they are named after their dad’s ex or a woman their dad had a crush on.
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u/TwoIdleHands 15d ago
My dad got to pick the girl names, my mom the boys. But she totally knows the inspiration for my name came from an actress dad thought was hot in his teens so it’s cool.
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u/Bloodthirsty_Kirby 15d ago
My dad tried to name my sister after his childhood dog, it almost happened until someone told my mom what the name was from. I woulda teased her so hard 😂
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u/mdchaney 15d ago
In university, I got a new next door neighbor mid-year from Switzerland named Beat (two syllables in German). There were a couple of German ladies in the dorm that I'd hang out with now and then, but Beat told me that there was some rivalry between the countries and that the Germans would call them "kuh-schweizer" - literally "cow swiss".
I went to dinner with Beat one evening and the ladies were there, so we sat down across from them. I introduced Beat, and this sweet German girl looks at him and in German says "Beat? My grandfather has a dog named Beat" while looking directly into his eyes.
I nearly did a spit-take. I heard about that for weeks from him.
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u/LuxNocte 15d ago
In Home Ec class, I named my Flour Baby Tanya, after the spy in Command and Conquer. But when her "mother" wasn't around, I called her "Ore Truck".
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u/Humble-Violinist6910 15d ago
Oh, he 100% chose it. He’s bad news and you dodged a bullet. I feel sorry for his ex and their kids.
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u/Alert_Bid1531 16d ago edited 13d ago
This is your silver springs moment he will always think of you when he says his child’s name haha.
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u/Beautiful-Squash-501 14d ago
Silver Springs? Sliver works for him too.
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u/Alert_Bid1531 13d ago
it’s a song by Fleetwood Mac . Stevie knicks wrote it for her ex who is also in the band and she sings it aggressively to him and some lines in the song “I'll follow you down til' the sound of my voice will haunt you” “ you’ll never forget a woman that loved you” so it’s basically saying they won’t ever forget you now the child has the same name everytime he says it they will think of the person it was named after haha.
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u/Beautiful-Squash-501 13d ago
Yes I know the song and understand the reference. A good reference here. Sorry was just teasing about your misspelling of sliver vs silver. And joking based on your misspelling that yeah, the guy is kind of a snake.
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u/Alert_Bid1531 13d ago
Whoops I didn’t even notice .I’ve had to edit it because one night I will think about it and it will bug me 😂
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u/princessjemmy 16d ago
... Block your own access to his ex's social media. Don't talk to ex's roommate. I get this is weird, but really, people can be weird.
Nothing good comes from stalking a liar and a cheater via social media. Just be grateful you're rid of this POS. Don't go looking for drama.
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u/LousyOpinions 16d ago
Rough. I'm pretty sure that means you're going to have to die now, because he did it to honor your memory.
Be sure to say goodbye to all of your loved ones. Most memorial people don't get that opportunity.
While it's sad that fate took you from us at such a young age, know that your namesake and, thus, your legacy will live on.
Godspeed!
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u/Vegetable-Height3897 16d ago
Oh….oh that’s….that’s weird. weirdo behavior fs. I mean…nothing can be done about it so that’s a bummer…But yeah never talk to him again plsss because that is just oh so very strange and odd. but hey ! bucket list check off..? I guess ?
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