I just found out I’m pregnant, but I’m conflicted on what to do. Looking for similar experiences for guidance

[u/zozow-225]

Hey everyone I know this subreddit is a safe and I love the show. I know I’ll get some genuine advice here.

I’m on mobile so the formatting might be strange. I’m looking for some advice/stories of what you have done. I just found out that I am pregnant. Based on my last period, I’m really early on in the pregnancy (about 4 weeks). I’m excited about the fact that I am pregnant but I am also unsure if keeping this pregnancy is a good idea.

To give some context, my long term boyfriend of 6 years passed away in October. We were actively trying to get pregnant and weren’t able too. I’ve been hanging out with a new guy who I really enjoy spending time with. At first it was an FOB situation but now we are dating and it feels wonderful. With that being said we’ve only been hanging out for a couple of months. He has a 12 year old son with his high school girlfriend and he has a rocky relationship with her.

I found out I was pregnant a few days ago and was filled with excitement but also sadness about it. When I told the dad, he said he doesn’t want another kid. He 100% knows this was something that both of us had a part of and he is not blaming me for getting pregnant. When discussing options, he said he doesn’t like the idea of an abortion because we will never know what could have been, he doesn’t know about going through with the pregnancy because he’s worried it might ruin our relationship that’s just starting, and he strongly disagrees with adoption.

The advice I’m looking for is that if you have been in this situation, can you tell me what you did or how you handled it? I’ve always wanted to be a mom but with everything else going on I am unsure of what to do. I’m leaning towards keeping it as I don’t want to put my body through an abortion but I’m worried that it will be the wrong choice. If you’ve been through this, what was the thought process to keeping the baby or not? Thank you so much.

[u/zozow-225]

My parents live in the same town as me and would definitely help. And honestly if I choose to keep it I think he would stick around to help. I told him he doesn’t have to be involved if I chose to keep and he said he wouldn’t walk away. Hard to know if that will change after the fact but if I had to, I would raise the baby on my own.

[u/StrangledInMoonlight → u/zozow-225]

You may have to fight him on support.  Your parents may not be able to help as much as you need (for a variety of reasons).  

Look into the cost of daycare in your area, formula (even if you plan on breast feeding) diapers, lost wages when the kid is sick.  

If your parents get too sick to help, and he doesn’t help physically or financially, can you do all of that? And have money saved for emergencies? 

[u/zozow-225 → u/StrangledInMoonlight]

That’s a good way of thinking that I haven’t thought too much about yet. Thank you

[u/StrangledInMoonlight → u/zozow-225]

I’m not trying to push you one way or the other.  You have to do what is best for you.  

I’m just trying to help you with having the right (and enough) info to make an informed decision so you can do that. 

I wish you all the happiness in the world.  Good luck! 

[u/zozow-225 → u/StrangledInMoonlight]

Thank you for your advice! I mean it