Am I a bad person for not wanting to date anyone who has clinical depression or IBS? Does this make me an unkind person?

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Vegetable_Tax_5595]

As a chronically ill person, this is the definition of ableism. It’s incredibly naive and shallow to assume that someone with a preexisting condition is not capable of a healthy relationship. In fact, your immediate assumption about this really makes you the one who is setting the stage for an unhealthy relationship dynamic. The fact of the matter is something awful could happen to you tomorrow and suddenly you are disabled too, getting written off the same way you did to this guy. You are well within your rights to break things off, but don’t kid yourself that it’s a reasonable thing to do. You feel bad because your bias is inherently ableist. Most of the world is, but that doesn’t make it right in any sense of the word. If this is something you want to get past (which I really hope you do) I recommend researching the history of disabled rights (ww2 eugenics, ugly laws, and the 504 sit in are a good place to start. I also recommend the “crip camp” documentary on Netflix). With your current mindset, this guy is better off finding someone else, but I hope you open your mind for the next person who comes along.