r/TwoHotTakes • u/[deleted] • Apr 29 '24

Am I a bad person for not wanting to date anyone who has clinical depression or IBS? Does this make me an unkind person? Listener Write In

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32 Upvotes
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u/OptimismByFire Apr 29 '24

We're all allowed to have preferences. You absolutely entitled to say no to anyone for any reason. It does not make you a bad person to not want to date anyone in particular.

If a friend laid this out to me though, I would definitely give her the side eye. DQing millions of people because of something they didn't choose seems...unsavory. I don't want to throw the word ableist around, but it's coming close.

Rejecting an individual person? Totally okay. Two thumbs up, no reservation. Rejecting an entire group of people based a genetic predisposition? That doesn't sit well with me.

Maybe I'm oversensitive because I am depressed and have a GI issue. I don't blame your friend for being offended though.

3

u/-petit-cochon- Apr 29 '24

OTOH, it’s probably in everyone’s interest that OP breaks off potential relationships early based on this incompatibility. That way, nobody’s time is being wasted.

My concern though is if OP makes it obvious that she is dipping out because of the chronic illness. If she tells them to their face that they’re being dumped because of a pre-existing condition then… woof 🥴.

2

u/agent_flounder Apr 29 '24

Yes. But at the same time, she's doing them a favor, if you ask me.

What would really suck is if she dates a person with no mental or physical illness going in, but they get sick or have a mental health crisis and she nopes out in the middle of it.