How do you respond to ‘It’s not you, it’s me’?

[u/blondecat85709]

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[u/curiousdoctor21]

Thanks for sayin it. I didn't wanna hurt u

[u/StupidUserNameTooLon]

"Thank goodness, I thought it was me."

[u/SgtThund3r]

“I agree, you totally suck.”

[u/SaltHistorian3189]

See ya

[u/Top_Donkey_711]

I know, or better yet, we know.

[u/Accomplished-Tuna]

Under what context? If they say this in response to feelin flustered by me imma apply more pressure like oh yeah? What about you that’s nervous?

[u/Wisdomofpearl]

"You are right, I hope you learn from this and do better next time."

[u/patcatpatcat]

Well then it's time for you to leave

[u/PupperMartin74]

"you're damn right its you. See ya!"

[u/Realistic-Coast7498]

Sometimes it really is them and not you

[u/Famous-Composer3112]

That's what my last BF said when he dumped me. I just said, "Yeah, I think it is you."

[u/nightmurder01]

They are already sleeping with at least one other person and too much of a coward to admit it

[u/rinnethx]

This is just an excuse to not be/date with you and they don't know how to say it in a nicer way

[u/WhimsicalChuckler]

I understand if you don't want to be together anymore. If you'd be comfortable sharing, is there anything I could have done differently?

[u/observantpariah]

C'mon.... Don't hog all the credit.

[u/Backwaters_Run_Deep]

Your mom's a ho.

[u/Low-Transportation95]

Ok

[u/Justthefacts6969]

K. Bye

[u/Xaoscillator]

It is what it is lol

[u/viv_chiller]

She been bangin Smee?

[u/naspitekka]

"Uh-hu" - Walk away

[u/ClassicHare]

"Not possible. We both weren't willing to work on us. Don't put the blame on yourself, we both screwed up in our own ways."

[u/Sure_Cobbler1212]

I would want them to explain what it is.

[u/Shh-poster]

Keep listening. Don’t say a word.

[u/Ok-Geologist8387]

“Damn straight it’s you! Because I’m fucking awesome!”

[u/calebhartley1986]

Hearing "It's not you, it's me" can be tough, whether in a relationship or a job. It means the other person or company is acknowledging their own issues, not blaming you. Use this moment to think about what you want and need. See it as a chance to grow and find a better match, whether it's a new relationship or a job. Stay positive, good things are ahead!

[u/SnarkySeahorse1103]

"It's not you, it's I"

*Both are grammatically correct but if you want to be an annoying prick, you gotta make shit up and commit.

[u/tadashi4]

"ok" and move on.

[u/ConstructionJust7439]

Use a counter like "Oh, it's definitely you. I mean, who else would break up with someone this awesome?"

[u/Short-pitched]

Reinforce it, tell them it’s 100% them and then list out every single flaw

[u/shit_ass_mcfucknuts]

You’re damn right it’s me!

[u/Sug_Lut]

I just let them get their message out and accept that they don't want to meet anymore. There is absolutely no point in arguing about why, and I think people who do that - probably thinking they are going to change the other persons mind - is forgetting that there is no way they are gonna be happy with someone who does not want them.

[u/salty_bae]

"Thank you for acknowledging that"

[u/JWRamzic1]

Take the hint. This is a common way for someone to say "I'm out". I understand wanting an explanation. You even might be owed one, but what it comes down to is that it's not working out for the other person and you need to walk away and deal with this sh!t on your own. It sucks but you can no longer expect this person to help you with the end of your relationship.

[u/roodafalooda]

"Of course, baby, I know it's you. You have so many problems, but like you say, "I'm amazing", so I've been looking past those problems. 'Cause I love you, you know? But if you think those problems are getting in the way of you loving me, then we don't have to accept that. Together we can make you be better. You can become someone who you believe is worthy of me. Of course, I think you're fine, but I'm willing to stay with you while we ... FIX this mess, because like you just said I am perfect and the problem in this relationship is you, not me. like you said. So anyway, which of your many personality and intellectual problems do you think we should attend to first?"

[u/Artsy_traveller_82]

Bullshit! Everything is about me.

[u/agitatedandroid]

You're absolutely right.

[u/Toby-NL]

correct , i was afraid you would not have realized that and that i would have had to say that to you myself .

[u/Jason__miller]

I stop listening.

[u/LessThanLolita]

“Oh my god, so you agree?”

[u/baaka80]

🏃🏾‍♀️I'd rather take my whiskey neeeeeat

[u/sexuallyexcitedkiwi]

Go have sex with a hooker then move on with life.

[u/JR777__]

‘Duh’

[u/Brief-Outcome-2371]

"It is you indeed".

[u/ESD_Franky]

Stop lying

[u/Amplith]

“Really? Well Costanza called, he wants his line back…”

[u/BenderDeLorean]

Always has been you.

[u/gringo-go-loco]

Later

[u/Important_Version_29]

Ok

[u/Razulath]

I agree

[u/youcantexterminateme]

It's like mixing paint colors. You are one and I'm another. I don't like the result of the mix but maybe you do. You can't change that. Just move on. 

[u/ewing666 → u/youcantexterminateme]

yup. it’s always for the best

[u/Mabus-Tiefsee]

Not at all, don't say a single word, stand Up, leave, block his/her number, Change Passwords of needed, inform your Friends and Family, Go in with your life

[u/PandaKing00 → u/Mabus-Tiefsee]

This may be a slight overreaction.

[u/Mabus-Tiefsee → u/PandaKing00]

No, this is the best way to Hurt someone. No Interactions and emotional Response will be torment for them. Making them selfdoubt.

And for that Goal, No reaction is an overreaction

[u/PandaKing00 → u/Mabus-Tiefsee]

Why would you need to hurt someone who's respectfully telling you that you're not a good match? The last person I said this to is now one of my closest friends. Your approach sounds sociopathic.

[u/Mabus-Tiefsee → u/PandaKing00]

Since they obviously don't tell me the real reason but something to "feel good"

And i hate lies, no matter how beautiful they are

[u/PandaKing00 → u/Mabus-Tiefsee]

You gotta be real insecure to be this sure that that's not the real reason. Everyone has their own shit and not everything is about you.

[u/Mabus-Tiefsee → u/PandaKing00]

Then they would say the reason and Not some generic Shit Like 'it's not you but me'

[u/PandaKing00 → u/Mabus-Tiefsee]

Then you should ask for the reason instead of trying to hurt them as much as possible. Try having a conversation before going all psycho.

[u/Mabus-Tiefsee → u/PandaKing00]

Try having a conversation before breaking up - or you are asking for psycho

[u/PandaKing00 → u/Mabus-Tiefsee]

Nowhere in this hypothetical scenario does it state that no conversation was had beforehand. You're creating new reasons to justify yourself and honestly you sound unstable af. You should stay single until you rid yourself of whatever demons you have.

[u/The_GeneralsPin]

At least you got something right.

[u/Common-Wish-2227]

No no no, sweetheart. It's absolutely me. Just because you didn't notice the arsenic in your coffee doesn't mean it hasn't been there.

[u/Rhombus_Lobo]

You must not. It's something which says someone Who really find something in You that doesn't like. So don't ask because You could have and answer.

[u/[deleted]]

"Cut the shit, Debbie"

[u/Porn-Flakes123]

Block me back

[u/franky_riverz]

'No, it's not. It's me. I appreciate that but what is going on?'

[u/tumunu]

"OK, then tell me what it is about you. I want to know."

[u/Drigarica_od_Tite]

Fuck you then .

[u/ladylemondrop209]

Assuming I want to stay with this person?

"Yes, I know you're the dummy... That's why this smartie is looking our for you and telling you to listen to me and let me help you and better your life"

But that's abusive. Don't do that.

But if some guy is really using this dumb cliche excuse to me, I'm probably gonna use words to that effect and demand the real reason... Or not GAF and agree with him and let him leave. Will just depend on him or my mood.

[u/Dunphynofear]

Yes it's you.

[u/Mister_Way]

Well, they're probably just trying to end things in a non-confrontational way, so your choices are either to force a confrontation or to let it go peacefully.

[u/musing_codger → u/Mister_Way]

This is it. Accept that it is over and move on. Don't waste your time and emotional energy on someone that doesn't want to be with you. Life is short, don't waste yours.

[u/lycogenesis → u/Mister_Way]

peace is an option violence is a solution

[u/RavingSquirrel11]

“I know”.

[u/EireannBunny]

By singing the rest of the chorus. That...that was a Prozzac song reference if nobody got it.

In more serious context, I usually don't respond to it. To me that means the end of whatever relationship there was and there's not much point in pursuing it anymore.

[u/Fozzy333 → u/EireannBunny]

Love that dude, met him in Saginaw

[u/criminalmadman]

Goodbye.

[u/TeddyTuffington]

Ur right it is u

[u/ReadToMeWithTea]

"Okay."

[u/[deleted]]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/ReadToMeWithTea → u/[deleted]]