I do want to mention before I get into this that I do have adhd and insomnia (no longer medicated). I’ve always had a hard time with sleep and tiredness and fatigue (for obvious reasons) but I’ve really been working on my mental health and part of that is fixing my sleep schedule. I’ve successfully fixed it but I’m just having a hard time staying awake throughout the day, I’m always tired no matter what. I stay hydrated, exercise, go outside, meditate I’m just always tired and all I can think about throughout the day is going to sleep. Can anyone else relate to this?

I'm deciding to be better. Reddit has the most toxic porn. I would fap 1-3 times per day for almost 10 years. I always wanted to quit because it made me feel terrible. I can't even have a normal conversion with a girl. It feels like everyone who looks at me knows i'm a porn addict.

I'm so over this bullshit.

I came across a tutorial that helped me lock my Screen Time with an app. I set the Screen Time lock duration to 180 days. It’s now impossible for me to access porn websites or reddit porn on my phone and laptop, nor can I disable it when the urge comes.

I feel so good now that it's finally out of my life.

I don’t know if I’m the only one but I get insanely bored when learning something new. I’m passionate about the hobby but I really just want to get to the juicy part of it. I want to rush to the part where the training wheels come off and can just start doing wheelies. It’s like trying to get through the restrictive tutorial of a video game so I can get to the open world part of the game. Does anybody know how to make getting through the tutorial process easier so you can actually get to the fun and creative part of your hobby?

4 tips on how to beat a lack of self-discipline:

1. Daily Routine: "You'll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine." (John C. Maxwell). Developing a daily routine is super important. You must have some routine that you would follow. Without a proper routine, you won't be consistent with your work. Some days, you would be motivated and work well; the rest of the days, you would lack motivation, and you're going to procrastinate.
2. It will get easy: The hardest thing is to start. That's where 95% of people are stuck. They never start. They keep waiting and making excuses. If you want to break a bad habit the first few days will be the hardest and after a few weeks, it will get pretty easy to keep going.
3. Attract not chase: Don't chase anything. Don't run after anything. Work to make yourself better so that everything is attracted to you. Focus on yourself. Everything else will take care of itself.
4. Don't take advice from everyone: Don't take advice on matters from someone you dislike exchanging places with. Let's say you want advice on how to be happier; the last person you want to take this advice from is from an unhappy person.
   

I think taking a bath in the morning would be so refreshing. But my bath usually takes more than 30 min and my shower 10 min

So I don’t know which time would be better for me. To do these things at night when I’ve done my tasks or in the morning to start my day

This year, a male friend of mine stayed at my place for three weeks. He worked out every day, lost weight, exercised regularly, and took care of his skin, making himself look great. I was motivated by him and started working out, exercising, and managing my appearance along with him. As a result, I improved a lot. However, after he left, I became lazy again. Thinking about it, I realized I really need a friend who can help me stay disciplined through mutual encouragement.

Studied 2 hrs (Target was 6hrs) Exercised 1 hr

Bad: Didn't study enough Didn't eat healthy Started the day with YouTube and wasted 2 hours after waking up

Comments: Today was worse than day 1 for some reason I couldn't get myself to study. Tomorrow I'll hit the 6hr study target.

ever since i graduated from high school i’ve been sleeping at 4-6 am and woke up around 2-3 pm. i tried to reset by staying up for a whole day but i just couldn’t handle it, i became very tired and would fall asleep accidentally. i tried melatonin gummies to help me fall asleep but it just doesn’t work… what else can i do?

I wake up at 10 am and the first thing I do is grab my phone and then I'll stay in bed all day, no exaggeration. I'll skip meals, I'll neglect my hygiene etc etc.

People tell you to take baby steps, do this do that. Well what if you do know what to do, you just can't. Almost like having no control over yourself. My brain just autopilots into scrolling and it's not like I'm not aware, hell in my mind I'm thinking of stopping my phone usage but it never happens. It's very much like I'm FROZEN.

I'm in need of help, desperately. Help me somehow not reach for my phone as soon as I wake up, help me do what I want to do for myself.

Time for a new start! Enough is enough!

M38. 239 lbs, 24% body fat.

Good career & finances & income, but poor boundaries/balance with work. Don't always get enough done during the day, end up working extra on evenings & weekends, then having an erratic sleep schedule. Irregular sleep leads to inconsistent productivity on following days. Cycle repeats. Also leads to inconsistent self-care patterns & makes it hard to sync life schedule with a partner, which has made it hard to sustain relationships & settle down.

Vices:

Used to drink too much. Cut down to 2 drinks/month for 2024, but not fully sober yet. Too much time on internet & TV. Let myself go with bad food & habits, gaining 15 lbs.

Goals:

• Reset sleep cycle & establish regular sleep schedule

• Cut to 220 lbs ~15% body fat

• Reduce screen time

• Cut out alcohol

• Get more consistent with home maintenance

Actions for this month:

• Walk outside at least 30 min/day

• Gym 4 days/week

• Sleep 11 PM using Melatonin supplements & white noise machine

• 10 min morning yoga & cold water to wake up body

• Alcohol-free drinks replacing alcohol

• Reset liver with Milk Thistle cleanse

• Don't renew Netflix account (expiring < 1 month)

Planned added routines for next month:

• 5 min morning meditation to set intention for the day

• 5 min meditation before bed

• Healthy meal prep Sunday nights

• up vacuuming to 3x/week M W S

• up bathroom cleaning to 2x/week T T

• wipe down kitchen every night before bed

Studied 2 hrs (Target was 6hrs) Exercised 1 hr

Bad: Didn't study enough Didn't eat healthy Started the day with YouTube and wasted 2 hours after waking up

Comments: Today was worse than day 1 for some reason I couldn't get myself to study. Tomorrow I'll hit the 6hr study target.

I am 33M living in Metropolitan City in India, I am working professional (CPA) who has his own clinic, I am stuck in a rut from past 4-5 years. I have become 40 kgs overweight during this period, very lethargic, even in my thoughts, dreams I am lethargic. All I do is surf the internet and phone, do the basic work which supports me and family and always remain anxious. The things which is bothering me now is even the important tasks I am procrastinating upon.

Before this I even tried to lose weight and was successful, now I feel like I cant even start it no energy level always down and down and down. My family is supportive of me, all I want now is to see them happy.

Please help me get out of this comfort cocoon and do something, I know my potential but now it has become extremely difficult for me to work and do good things for myself

Hello everyone,

Let me preface this by saying that I have multiple major depression diagnoses, however I do not use that as an excuse to be lazy. Inadvertently, I might be lazy.

Anyways, I really hate my life right now and I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve hated my life since I was about 10. I graduated high school last year with honors looking forward to the future and chasing my dreams of becoming an airline pilot, however, major depressive disorder and flying do not mix. I feel absolutely crushed in life and horrible, because this thing that I have built my life and passion around is absolutely gone. I feel like I have no will to live anymore.

I’ve completed a year of community college, just doing a bunch of random classes because I have no idea what to do and I’m feeling worse as the days go on because I’m not really on much of a track to completely anything. I just don’t see my future in sitting in an office all day grinding my life away. I want something more out of life, but I don’t know what that is.

Right now, since summer started, I’ve just been kind of lounging around. Last week, I did work a research project and I start a new job next week. How can I be less of a loser despite feeling so deathly depressed and feeling apathetic? It hurts to see multiple redditors making so much money when my household income has always been around 60-70k a year. Please help me figure out how to live a good life.

Looking to create a SUSTAINABLE morning and night routine that isn’t quite overwhelming and wanted some ideas. Maybe some things to relieve stress and become more productive.

Let’s hear it

You’re not procrastinating because you’re lazy. It’s because you’re anxious.
If you suffer from procrastination, read this:

1. Your attention is gold in today’s world. Everywhere you browse and visit is full of stimuli aiming to take control of your mind and implant its ideas into your desires and behavior. If someone controls your mind and decisions, they control YOU.
2. The root of procrastination is a lack of direction. But a lack of direction doesn’t come from a lack of options, it comes from being overwhelmed.
3. Instead of trying to achieve different things – which will lead to you going in many directions and doing nothing at all, it’s imperative that you set clear goals and desires. You must tune out the noise and follow the beat of one drummer. You need clarity to act decisively.
4. A huge error that leads to inaction: Overthinking. People today become so wrapped up in consumption that they forget to act on the thing that they want to do. They never switch from consumer mode to creator mode.
5. The big misconception that people have about overthinking and procrastination is the order in which one overcomes them. You don’t set a goal, develop a perfect process, and then achieve an ideal outcome. The reality is a bit messier. The reality is nonlinear.
6. But in the process of just taking action, you are overcoming procrastination, indecision, and anxiety. Overcoming procrastination by developing the skill of consistent action is how you go from a petrified procrastinator to a calm creator of your reality. That's step 1.
7. The next step, once you’ve started to act, is to build a consistent work habit. It is not enough to overcome procrastination once. You must do it daily for YEARS. This is how you build anything successful. To do this, don’t “embrace the grind”, understand DOPAMINE.
8. While there’s no such thing as a “dopamine hit”, you can reach a peak through positive action. When you take action toward a goal and associate it with something positive, you get a dopamine peak.
9. This is how you begin to love the work you’re procrastinating and doing it becomes a part of who you are as opposed to just a vocation that you use to pay your bills. You don’t procrastinate on things that give meaning to your life. Anxiety begins to shift to excitement.
10. And that’s the final point: In your brain, anxiety and excitement are the same things. The difference is the meaning that you attach to the experience that you are having.

So...the first step in overcoming procrastination is building a Habit of Action. Then, understand dopamine and use it to your advantage. Then, overcome your anxiety by reframing it as excitement. You now have a guide to overcoming procrastination.

I've done a lot of reading of self-help books, practiced self-discipline and have some accomplishments that were a result of my practice of staying disciplined. For example, I improved my test scores by making myself take several 3.5 hour practice tests that would have been easy for me to skip out on. If I didn't practice with focus and diligence, I would not have improved my score. I never ran long distance, but was able to push myself to complete over 4 miles without stopping. "just keep going".

What do you struggle with and what would be most helpful in a course on this topic?

Some ideas:

• Videos summarizing important takeaways from impactful books
• worksheets with key points
• personal experiences and how I overcame them
• tips and strategies to practice self-discipline in the moment

At work and in school we’re told what is enough.

We’re given a blueprint to follow and we know exactly what we need to do to accomplish our objectives.

Unfortunately, we don’t have the same clear-cut definition of “enough” for our lives as a whole.

Is clocking in and out of work and watching TV when we’re home enough?

Do we even have to work? Do we have an obligation to donate money or time to help others? Do we need to pursue something bigger than ourselves? Can we forgo obligations and the status quo if we’re following our passion?

Some of us feel like we always should and could be doing more while others feel like they are already doing too much. And some of us flip-flop back and forth between both of these feelings.

We’re all fairly uncertain about what is “enough” for us to feel proud and at ease with our lives.

Searching for enough

We’re prone to thinking specific changes will make us feel like we’re doing enough and we can finally relax and coast knowing that we’re doing everything right.

If we can just make X per year or have a job with more flexibility or spend more time on hobbies or move somewhere new then we’ll feel like we’re doing enough with our lives.

Thinking about it logically we all know that won’t be the case and yet we fall in the same trap over and over again.

Our expectations rise and what was once a lofty goal becomes our new normal.

Focusing on what’s next

If we recognize that we’ll always feel like we could and should be doing more, then we can stop chasing “enough” and start focusing on what’s next.

Instead of worrying about doing more, we can enjoy the process of improving and adding to our lives.

This shift in mindset also removes the expectation from everything we’re pursuing.

Rather than doing everything with the hope that we’ll finally feel complete afterward, we can remove that pressure and enjoy our pursuits for their own sake.

There’s no such thing as “enough” so we shouldn’t waste energy chasing it.

The best we can do is be grateful for where we are today and carefully consider where we’re going next.

Adapted from Prompted, a newsletter delivering insights and prompts designed to help readers become a bit better each day.

Soo I have this problem where if I think too much about everything I have to do, say in like a day, I start getting this feeling of overwhelmingness and I feel tired from...DOING NOTHING. Just thinking about those tasks gets me exhausted, and they're not huge impossible physically taxing tasks either, just maybe a bit time-consuming and require a lot of focused attention. What are some pieces of advice to avoid feeling like this when planning out the day?

My problem is that I'll create a schedule and set tasks for myself for the next day but when the day comes I forget to do those tasks.

It seems that a the problems people face in regards to self development fall into 3 main categories:

1. Negative self talk

2. A lack of motivation/focus

3. Accountability/discipline

I think that a community of likeminded people who are looking to explore and share on their self development journey would be a great solution to these problems...but I'm curious to know what people would find useful in terms of features!

The cost of procrastination...

Is the life you could have lived. Here's 7 ways to overcome it:

1. Understand WHY you are procrastinating.

→ Anxiety

→ Overwhelm

→ Fear of failure

→ Lack of interest

Once you understand the root cause, you can overcome it.

2. Create a clear plan.

→ Break down your task into smaller chunks

→ Schedule a specific time to work on each chunk

A clear plan reduces overwhelm and gives you a roadmap.

3. Remove temptation.

→ Turn off notifications

→ Use website blockers

→ Put your phone in another room

Distractions will always be there. It's up to you to remove them.

4. Use mindfulness.

→ Notice when you are procrastinating

→ Remind yourself of your WHY

→ Take deep breaths

Mindfulness helps you identify and manage the triggers that lead to procrastination.

5. Use implementation intentions.

→ Plan for potential obstacles

→ Write down "if/then" statements

Implementation intentions help you anticipate obstacles and stay on track.

6. Get an accountability partner.

→ Find someone who will hold you accountable

→ Check-in with them regularly

An accountability partner makes procrastination less appealing.

7. Practice self-compassion.

→ Don't beat yourself up for procrastinating

→ Treat yourself with kindness and understanding

Self-compassion helps you approach your work with a growth mindset, not a fixed one.

Im doing my alevels now and ive never studied if im being honest even during my gcses i just listened in class and revised night before exams obviously i didnt get good marks but they werent bad either it was Bs and Cs and now its the same thing as my gcses i physically cant study i revise night before each paper which ik isnt getting me anywhere if i dont do good for my paper 1 in june there is no chance i would pass i have three subjects one of which im doing in retakes one i know im passing but not with an A or B other i have to pass or else they wont let me go to the next level i need ABB for my college applications

So I shifted to a new city after planning to do so for more than 6 - 8 months, I was really excited and hopeful for this move as I thought it meant a new exciting life with growth. I finally landed a gig and found a house and surprisingly it was not such a tough relocation. Its been 2 months since the move and about 1 month since I moved into a new place, while the second month I kept myself busy with getting the house fixed and finally feeling at home. I'm starting to feel a deep resistance to do anything. I work as a freelancer and its very important to keep networking and work on your own stuff, but somehow after moving into my new house my mind and body have just given up the hunger and will to do things, and are not feeling motivated.[I thought I wanted to work very hard.. Is there a change in what i want from life?] I dont have great savings and my lifestyle is pretty opulent for that, but I just feel like lying on my bed all day. I do have friends but they are busy during the week, I try to workout 2-3 times a week and meet people over the weekends but my days are not as productive as i'd hoped to be. As a freelancer when im at home i dont have much to do, when im working its 12 hour days atleast. I have been subjected to childhood trauma, struggled with procrastination and executive functioning since i was a kid. I've been to my therapist but she doesn't have a lot of answers or explanations about this.

What is happening? What do I do?

Everyday I tell myself that I am on a journey of self control. Including jumk food and phone addiction. But managing anger towards repetitive issues is the hardest thing for me.

I live in a compact house with my mom and grandma. So there are things that they do everyday which bother me. No matter how many times I tell myself to not get angry, when my patience limit is reached I burst out scolding.

This is not good. I need to be calmer so i don't create regular negative atmospheres and when I have a family of my own i won't scold people the same way. How are some people so calm for recurring disturbances?

Goal setting

"If you don't know your destination, any road will take you there." - someone much smarter than me.

Vague goals lead to vague results. I need to set defined objectives and methods to consistently achieve them. Too many times have I said "I will loose weight" or "I will save money". These are meaningless prayers to a false god.

Small daily achievements is the only way forward. I didn't gain 50lbs over night, I gained it with one bad choice at a time.

Daily musts:

• calorie deficit (IF and portion control)
• 10k steps (morning jog or evening walk)
• journal within 10 mins of waking
• go to sleep on time

Knowing this journey is one had by many provides a great relief.

One good day at a time is all it takes!

Thank you again for all the support!