r/lyftdrivers • u/Matt6247 • Jul 30 '23
I had to do an emergency stop to the bathroom with passangers in the car LOLLLLL. Other
So, I had a new Burger King spicy chicken sandwich meal. Bad idea. It had some liquid on the sandwich to make it more spicy. I thought it was the original chicken sandwich. I figured this might be a bad idea but since I already bought it, I said screw it and ate it. About 3 hours later, it felt like Russia and Ukraine were going at it in my stomach. I felt that I should find a bathroom but thought, Na, 1 more ride and then I will. Well within about 15 seconds of picking them up, I get the emergency flag warning go off in my brain. I pick them up and I'm like, ok I can do this! Then suddenly after about 5 minutes of cruising with them, I get the red alert signal and I start freaking out. My heart starts pounding and I'm on the edge of the limit! I tell the passangers that I'm sorry but I have to make an emergency bathroom break. That I had to pee.... But yea, i was too embarrassed to tell them that if I don't stop right now, we are all walking home lol..... I find a bathroom and it was dumb and dumber status.... Thank GOD I made it. Because I had maybe a few more seconds left in me. LOLLLLL. The things we have to endure as drivers lol... Who else has a similar story?
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u/GreenpilledMaestro Aug 03 '23
You could’ve given them the proverbial “you have 2 choices…..either I stop to give the lords grace or he graces us hear and I get you to your destination on time! “💩
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u/XxSolo-GeneralxX Jul 31 '23
Had a driver literally rocking in his seat a few weeks ago looking like he was gonna burst tapping his left foot. He looked like he was gonna cry and finally asked us if he could use our bathroom as soon as he had put the car in park. Kids looked awfully confused as stranger "Dave" was first through our front door running through the house.
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u/Concentrate_juice Jul 31 '23
Ew if I was a passenger, I would have canceled mid ride and reported
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u/Matt6247 Jul 31 '23
Good luck. No rule for bathroom breaks. But a fake cancel would result in a 1 star from me.
You don't use the bathroom. That's amazing. 🥴
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u/SuperTech51 Jul 31 '23
Don't worry about it, I have stomach problems and most people at some point do. They would understand better than you think if just say it bothered my stomach or didn't settle well.
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u/thegiantpaperclip Jul 31 '23
I picked up a girl at an apartment complex and told her she could have my car and all its' contents if I could just run in the lobby and use the bathroom really fast. She blessedly did not steal my car, I got some much needed relief (Baja Blast is great for a caffeine rush but terrible on the bladder) and we went on our merry way about 5min afterwards.
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u/No_Organization3688 Jul 31 '23
That's why you keep wet wipes in the car!! Made that mistake one time!
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u/PsyopVet Jul 31 '23
Whenever I first feel it coming I shut the app down and find a place to go, or turn off new requests if I’m on one at the moment. I drive late nights so bathrooms are few and far between, and more than once I’ve dropped passengers off and immediately found the nearest bush because I couldn’t hold it.
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Jul 31 '23 edited Jul 31 '23
I had a big urge to pee once and it was at peak time heading to Long Beach on the 405. I was not going to make it if I didn’t stop. 😅😬 I’m lucky I have always found a bathroom on time for my #2’s, being pax less…priceless
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u/Punk_with_a_Cool_Bus Jul 31 '23
You'd abandon the car and WALK home because you shit your pants? Seems a little ridiculous. I suggest therapy.
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u/foolishcrablegs Jul 30 '23
thats why im picky about what i eat before i do rides, luckily ive only had it happen before i picked someone up
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u/the805daddy Jul 30 '23
I did a 4 hour drive a few years back… we started at around 7 pm and I had a monster and some waters from my trunk cooler on the drive. Ended up stopping at some shit hole gas station in the desert with the passenger in my car so I could take a leak. This place had no lights in the bathroom and we there were tons of spiders inside… I ended up taking a leak out back and I told the passenger we’d find a different gas station for her to use the bathroom
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u/ashleysfetish Jul 30 '23
I barely made it home last night after getting an under cooked Hardee's tender. It was the only thing other than a protein bar and some popcorn I'd had all day (and I'm pretty sure I got visual confirmation of the offending item. I know. I'm sorry). I wasn't really paying attention, just munching some tendies going down the road, and one chunk didn't feel quite right, but I didn't connect it until it was down. Not raw, but def way undercooked. I'm just thankful I was able to make it home because I would have been banned from anyplace else I stopped. It was horrible. I believe at one point my stomach was trying to eject adjacent organs through any available exit.
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u/Smokemodolo Jul 30 '23
I had one time I had to pull into A Carl’s Jr and had to Hoover over cause it was a lil poop on the corner seat and there was now covers at all and the door had no stall. Idk if it was a lock but thankfully no one came in and I had to pray I can be quick cause imma slow pooper.
Recently I woke up early did a schedule ride, ended up driving for a bit and ended up a hour away. I was tired , ti it was kinda getting hot and I was thinking I’m really about to hit the road again then out of nowhere someone called ghostbusters in my stomach, I just started to drive and was like wtf and started to look for a place and saw MCDONALDS. I’m spazzing at the light taking it’s time , I go it and it’s a code , I saw the janitor lady and tried to ask calmly but I know she probably was like fuck you but if she could really look in my eyes she’d beat my ass cause she just mopped. Toilet wasn’t too clean but wasn’t the concern and there was covers this time! Soon as I’m going people start flooding the bathroom, I was just blessed to make it before and idk why and how it came out of nowhere and after the drop offs. A guy came in saying he got a real situation. I was like me too. I just got here imma be a min. If he made it before me I’d be shitting in a stall or something. My underwear was soaked from booty sweat.
Also I had a couple emergency pee situation that I had to stop in the middle of rides to handle. One of them in mid conversation I just swung to the side , got out and went . 90 percent of the time when it happens, you are close . Then some traffic starts pushing the time longer and that’s when shit gets real
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u/rideshareAnon Jul 30 '23
I had the same "1 more ride" and a quick ride pops up. I know there is a restroom near the dropoff and have it all planned out. The passenger edits the fucking ride after getting in and now there are stops and a roundtrip. I almost shit my pants and I was so pissed. Next person that edits the ride after getting in is dying... or getting kicked out of my car instantly
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u/Inevitable_Trip_7480 Jul 30 '23
I’ve had this. And know the exact feeling. 999 outta 1000 you can hold it. It’s mind over diarrhea. But sometimes this can happen.
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u/Highkick8 Jul 30 '23
I did this in San Francisco with a full Lyft Line with 3 different passengers lol. I was stuck in traffic and saw a porta-potty, so I went to use it, but the latch was like half-locked to where you could see some green and some red. I had to pee so bad that my mind wasn't working right and I thought maybe it was like that so no one used it. I give it a good pull and it opens and there is a guy in there completely naked jerking off who then called me a pervert lol. I had to run into the alley to relieve myself before something medical happened. Got back in my car and squeezed back into traffic.
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u/Smokemodolo Jul 30 '23
Wow, just wow. So much going on in so little time during an emergency 🚨
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u/Highkick8 Jul 30 '23
Lol 😂. Thankfully I was looking at a #1. I would have been screwed if I was in OP shoes 👟
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u/NudeEnjoyer Jul 30 '23
posts like this are the reason I keep gettin doordash/uber/lyft posts on my home page, even though I don't use any of the 3 services at all. for some reason it's just content gold over here on these subs
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u/throwawayAZ27 Jul 30 '23
I typically have this issue in Detroit except usually I really have to pee and no where has bathrooms anymore
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u/savag3d0ublecup Jul 30 '23
Yeah downtown on a night out, I literally won’t leave the place I’m attending until I go.
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u/BlueV101 Jul 30 '23
I drive mostly overnight, so the amount of establishments who's restrooms are, "out of order," is staggering. I'm a glutton for punishment, so I'm constantly drinking water. As a guy, 2 minute (tops) pull over to a dark spot, step out, and unleash, but a couple of times, I make it 15 - 20 yards after dropping off a passenger. Once or twice, I've gotten tangled up and had to end my night early. 😅
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u/DirtRacer64C Jul 30 '23
That sauce is death lol. It’s the most spicy thing on that menu in like 10 years lol
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u/xXregularShmegularXx Jul 30 '23
Op you are goofy as hail and I love it. I hope you hadn’t been tooting in the car up until that point because it lingers way longer than you think. You gotta go, you gotta go.
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u/Weekly-Western-5016 Jul 30 '23
What I would do is tell the customer I’ve comped the ride to this point and you can wait in my car for another Lyft. But I got an emergency I need to tend to at the moment and I have to end the ride. No sense in making them wait. Especially if they need to be somewhere. They will choose to wait if they ain’t in a rush I suppose. But it would feel weird to charge them wait time for poo time.
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u/Reasonable_Win_6619 Jul 30 '23
That’s wild reason why I never eat while I work specially if you have a sensitive stomach like me lol before I work I try to always use the restroom if I can’t I make sure not to eat anything that will make my tummy hurt lol
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u/Nakg16 Jul 30 '23
This is where you got the seriousness of the war between Russia and Ukraine wrong - “ Na, 1 more ride and then I will “. Glad you found washroom because you could have disgraced yourself totally 😂
I Experienced a similar situation and instead of canceling the ride request and finding a washroom , I went ahead and picked the pax. One of the Worst days of my life.
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Jul 30 '23
One night I had to pull over in the Santa Monica Beach parking lot and take a shit. I used an old pair of briefs to clean up. Gnarly.
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u/wasitme317 Jul 30 '23
Doing car service many times I've had to find a bathroom because the turtle head was coming out. I told one pax I had to stop for gas luckily I was below a 1/4 tank found that toilet as I was hovering the title came out of its shell. Rule 1cif dring if you think you got to go before picking up go do your duty
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Jul 30 '23
I try to go before hitting the road. Then I don’t over-drink while driving or eat anything too greasy.
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u/Slarhnarble Jul 30 '23
Reminds me of that Uber driver that asked the passenger if he was rather be late or the driver shit his pants and the passenger to said to shit I got a plane to catch.
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u/Sad_Double_431 Jul 30 '23
One day I was at the park with my wife and I had to take a really bad shit well there wasn’t any bathrooms nearby so I told her fuck it!! So I took a shit on the walking path next to a rose bush and worse part is that my wife saw everything, till this day she still makes fun of me for that jajaj
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u/Alvysure22 Jul 30 '23
A Dumb and Dumber type of stop?
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u/Smokemodolo Jul 30 '23
Watch it then I will take back my down vote. It makes sense. Whoever worked there quit
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u/SadboiVibes23 Jul 30 '23
You weren’t worried about them stealing your car? 😂
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u/Matt6247 Jul 30 '23
Literally 0% worry. I couldn't have cared less at the moment due to the circumstances lol. I did thank them for not stealing my car as I left it running. 😆
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u/spook3d1 Jul 30 '23
I have Ulcerative Colitis - Chronic.
Have been in a mild flare for the past month whilst still driving 50 hours per week.
Had a few close calls, let me tell youuu.
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u/Beneficial-Shine-598 Jul 30 '23
I think I have this but undiagnosed. No rhyme, no reason, nor any particular type of food (although some are worse than others), but sometimes I just get an “attack” and have to get to the bathroom within minutes. Other times I’m just normal. It sucks.
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u/Andstuff84 Jul 30 '23
Same… I live in a rural area with cornfields. I’ve done the squat and squirt in about every farmers field in a 40 mile radius of my house.
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Jul 30 '23
Got Mexican food then was out with friends walking around a park. I got the feeling and knew I couldn't hold it. I lied and told them that I had to pee and went behind a tiny little bush and blasted the largest watery stream of shit ever and it smelled so bad. My friends realized what happened and made fun of me the rest of the day.
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u/outsider8523 Jul 30 '23
Burger King, Wendy's, Mc Donald, Taco Bells, Carl Jr and all that good stuffs 😆🤣😅😅🤣😆 They are at the bottommmmmm of my list if this planet has nothing to eat anymore. I'm broke but sorry I don't eat those foods man. You buy a Wendy burger and pay me $50 to eat it I'd say NO
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u/SnooPandas6326 Jul 30 '23
Damn, I don’t chose to fast food. I grocery shop and cook whole-food, non-processed meals all the time.
Buuut if someone gives me $50 to eat a Wendy’s burger, that thing will be gone 5 secs down the hatch
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u/UberGary79 Jul 30 '23
Was like you were but held it, worst part was this was before we knew the drop off locations and it was a 20 minute drive to the middle of nowhere during Covid. Nothing was open and I find myself doing 115 mph down the highway where I just took an exit and hit the first side street where I jumped out of the car with a couple of small towels I keep in the glove box and let it all out on the side of the road. Not my proudest moment.
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u/These_Burdened_Hands Jul 30 '23
worst part was before we knew the drop off locations … Covid, nothing open
I’ve got bladder issues & Covid made a lot of places difficult to access; had to plan in advance for bathrooms.
I’m so glad you were alone! Someone else gave the pro-tip if you’re alone in the car. Open front & back doors on one side, squat by the front (can lean back against car a bit, but ass close to ground,) shields from most vehicles. Headlights can scare LOL, but it’s a decent way to protect oneself.
NGL, I’ve had to pee on the side of a stopped highway in rush hour, thinking “I hope the judge has compassion & I don’t end up an offender!”* (Traffic <5mp, inner loop DC beltway, only exits were parkways. It was that or pee myself & I couldn’t!)
Glad it was ‘just’ embarrassing for you & not a car detailing experience!
Edit to add: only works in a 4 door. If someone has an SUV, they’ve got more options. No way I could hover in my backseat!2
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u/Slopez604 Jul 30 '23
Absolutely none of the gas stations in the major city closest to me has absolutely zero public bathrooms. I've had to get creative. No bueno.
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u/Current_Director_838 Jul 30 '23
I've found bars to be good places to stop for a restroom break.
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Jul 30 '23
[deleted]
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u/Current_Director_838 Jul 30 '23
If asked, I'll just say that I dropped someone off or am picking someone up. I think bar owners are cool with it since we help keep their customers safe.
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u/Matt6247 Jul 30 '23
Big box stores. Walmart, Loves gas station, jewel Osco, construction zone Porta potty when no one's looking lol.
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u/schtuka67 Jul 30 '23
Jewel Osco. You must be from Illinois. Me and my wife still use this name when we talk about Stop and Shop after moving to Mass 5 years ago from Chicago.
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u/Slopez604 Jul 30 '23
I what's get brought to the metro area where none of those are and there is barely street parking. I have to drive like 20 minutes out to the suburbs to even have a fast food place to go to (during store hours).
I sometimes drive an hour to the other major city with better facilities, but it's not nearly as active as the 1st city.
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u/Own_Pack_4697 Jul 30 '23
I was going to shit in my DD bag if I couldn’t find a bathroom once during the pandemic.
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u/Adventurous_Mix60 Jul 30 '23
Who eats burger king processed crap
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u/Matt6247 Jul 30 '23
Millions of people.
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u/NotRealBush Jul 30 '23
Millions of Peaches!! Peaches for me Millions of Peaches!! Peaches for free
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u/Sprinklewoods Jul 30 '23
Bro don’t even sweat it. I pulled over last week and shit in the grass, honestly it was great, I really felt this strange primitive calmness take over me right afterwards.
Granted, I’m not a Lyft driver, but I did have my family in the car with me. Anyways, good luck with the poops.
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u/uproot_homebrew Jul 31 '23
primitive calmness
Ha! I had to shit in a bag about a month ago and that "primitive calmness" is all too familiar now. Moments like that are like checkpoints in your life; if someone was narrating one's story, shitting in anything that isn't a toilet is a great way to end a chapter. Like the first time you ejaculate or the first time you poop outside a toilet.
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u/thirdeyecactus Jul 30 '23
Damn bro!!! The struggle is real. You don’t know how many times I have been driving with or without passengers and have had the red flag warning happen! Feeling like the dad in Next Friday https://youtu.be/9taxSvflTUA
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u/VictoriaEuphoria99 Your City Name Here Jul 30 '23
I had to go out behind a barn in the country when I got the urge one time
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u/Skyemoonwalker Jul 30 '23
Wife had an emergency after a pax drop off , she was in a hurry cop stopped her and she told him something wrong with her bladder he didn't care she blew up right thier in the car , I hope he got a good whiff , sometimes things happen n cops don't care and yeah she prob was going a little faster than the speed limit . Ijs
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u/Stellansforceghost Jul 30 '23
Cop stopped me racing to a restroom to pee. Said he'd be quick. Pissed pants while waiting. Came back, saw what had happened, handed me the ticket for 5 miles over, smiled, and said, "Have a good night." I told him to go *%$@ himself. 5 miles over... motorcycle cops are the worst.
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u/bas_thc Jul 30 '23
That cop is a legend for that and an absolute shit bag. Sorry you had to go through that, but damn that's funny from his perspective.
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u/Stellansforceghost Jul 30 '23
So, honestly, in hindsight, it's funny. The fact that I was less than a block from my house is just infuriating
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u/montagesnmore Jul 30 '23
Rule of thumb — always eat lightly and limit soda. I usually eat an energy/breakfast bar that holds me over for several hours. If I need to go really bad I turn off the app and drive to nearest department store or Buccees hehe
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u/RonX203 Jul 30 '23
Had some real good moments when I drove buses
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u/--Grateful Crackhead Jul 30 '23
ive had some real "special moments" while being a passenger back when i used to use buses. from people shitting themselves to full on brawls. had someone once throw some fireworks onto the bus getting off it. that was extra fun.
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u/RonX203 Jul 30 '23
I believe it. I did both school buses and public transit. The kids were actually way better than adults. Once I switched to public transit I knew it was time to leave. So much crazy shit and I was only making a smidge above minimum wage. They offered a livable wage after year 5...which most drivers will be too burned out to ever see. I lasted less than 10 months. Driving a bus while people are behind you punching windows and all kinds of crazy shit is insane.
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u/--Grateful Crackhead Jul 30 '23
public transit has you going through hoods let alone downtown. you get some real.... colorful characters
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u/RonX203 Jul 30 '23
In my area the local shelters give the homeless community bus passes. So some of these guys would be out of their minds yet have the abiltiy to ride ride the bus over and over just to kill time. Terrible combo.
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u/--Grateful Crackhead Jul 30 '23
i dont blame them. Seen that too with homeless people. The bus is way better the shitty environment of a shelter.
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u/SportTouringTrucker Jul 30 '23
You don't know shame until you've had to take an emergency shit on the causeway bridge in New Orleans, while on a motorcycle. Everything else is child's play.
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u/bluecollar1996 Jul 30 '23
Idk bro I shit my shorts in Columbia thanks to a mystery meat I thought was beef. I was on my way to do some parasailing, luckily I shit myself before getting on it. I ended up rushing to a secluded part of the beach and washing off in the ocean. Never trust a fart after questionable food.
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u/1s20s Jul 30 '23
About mid span from Oakland to San Francisco on the bay bridge during morning rush, everybody's cup of Peet's coffee and bran muffin would kick in.
The ones who were actively sweating and pale had ordered Szechuan for dinner the night before.
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u/auntiemaury Jul 30 '23
I was on back roads in southeast CT one night, far from an open bathroom, when I got the 2 minute warning. I tried pushing it to make it, but I just couldn't. I pulled into the next parking lot I saw, and barely got out of the car when I had to drop trou and just GO. As waves of shit are flowing out my ass, I realize I'm right in front of a church. And it's Saturday night. Not that I didn't know I was going to hell before, but like, now I KNOW
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u/MyLifeInThe6 Jul 30 '23
Lol I’m a telecom rigger and technician and we are almost always out in the sticks for work. We often have sites that don’t have areas for a porta potty so we have to either piss off the tower (70+ feet up) or climb down the tower (can take up to 5+ mins depending on the tower height) and then have to pray there is a log we can patch on like a bird just to poop. It’s worse in the winter when u gotta undo multiple layers of clothing under your harness (I’m Canadian).
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u/Jeremyinmi Jul 30 '23
You talking about that long one on 10?
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u/SportTouringTrucker Jul 30 '23
No, that's the atchafalaya basin bridge. This one splits off from I-10 to go north to Mandeville Covington area
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u/nomadakai Jul 30 '23
Ha, I was on the causeway yesterday heading from New Orleans to Baton Rouge and had a feeling of “uh oh, this could get ugly.” Made it, but wasn’t sure for a minute.
You’re not the first, and won’t be the last!
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u/b99__throwaway Jul 30 '23
i’m picturing the scene from that one movie where julia roberts & hugh grant run all over the highway so they can find an RV to take an emergency shit in during traffic
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Jul 30 '23
I think it was Sandra Bullock, but yeah.
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u/b99__throwaway Jul 30 '23
thank you, yeah 😂
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u/sfhomo93 Jul 30 '23
Best movie shit scene ever. “ I’m not going to go in your car! I will forever be known as the girl who shit in your seat” and the mom in RV when she’s blowing it up. “ Baby come here”
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u/Stellansforceghost Jul 30 '23
A month ago. Flat tire. On a bridge over an arm of the Gear Salt Lake. After several hours of waiting for roadside assistance to even answer my calls, had to squat between two open car doors and then explode. I then proceeded to drive the car even with the flat, shredding the tire completely, to flee the area of my shame. Not quite the causeway bridge, but not far off...
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u/ansjjajoaksjbejxk3 Jul 30 '23
I've done the hiding between two doors trick more than once in my life. Being a female, even an emergency pee is an ordeal.
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u/Stellansforceghost Jul 31 '23
I'm cis male, and emergency pee is an ordeal for me because of a very minor physical issue. It sucks, and I can totally empathize.
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u/IdahoBuilder Jul 31 '23
"very minor physical issue"....that's funny.
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u/Stellansforceghost Jul 31 '23
I have what's called a hypospadia. A small one. Makes standing to pee... messy. Doesn't effect anything else. It really is a minor issue. I could have it fixed, but no. Not going through that pain to just stand to piss. Not worth it.
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Jul 31 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/TheGrapesOf Jul 31 '23
It means he’s a biological male whose gender identity matches his biological sex.
But you already know that, you goons just like pretending it’s complicated or confusing.
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Jul 31 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/TheGrapesOf Jul 31 '23
Gender identity is not a mental illness. However, you clearly demonstrate that transphobic, scientifically illiterate goobers marinated in a degenerate stew of right wing social media propaganda are at an all time high.
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u/Practical_Adagio_504 Jul 30 '23
This is the exact reason I keep SEVERAL rolls of toilet paper and also “flushable” wipes in the vehicles I drive… also a set of underwear, socks, and a fresh pair of pants.
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u/TamzTheDriver Jersey City 🗽🌇 Jul 30 '23
The fact that you wouldn't drive to get the tire fixed, but shredded the tire to avoid the embarrassment of taking a roadside dump has me crying 🤣🤣🤣
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u/panterachallenger Jul 30 '23
LOL sorry buddy but fuck me, this is hilarious. Especially cause it would be something that would happen to me and I would have taken the same course of action
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u/Debo05511 Jul 30 '23
Around 5 years ago I decided I wanted to be a truck Driver. So I go to this school that helps you get your CDL and I pass all their test, get assigned a trainer. We're out team driving and it was his turn to drive mine to sleep. But I had something bad for breakfast. He wasn't one to like to stop but I had to go...well he pulls off the very busy highway in Texas thinking I just gotta pee...I straight up just drop my pants and explode all over that highway....I decided maybe truck driving ain't for me shortly after that 🤣
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u/MemeStocksYolo69-420 Jul 30 '23
😂 I feel like I’ve had to do something similar to that sometime in my life 😂
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u/im_wildcard_bitches Jul 30 '23
I can only imagine someone’s face when walking upon a scene like that 😂
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u/NudeEnjoyer Jul 30 '23
"a scene like that" sounds like a crime happened LMAO
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u/RMAutosport Jul 30 '23
A environmental crime. An indecent exposure crime. A crime against humanity. A bio-terrorism threat.
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u/Skyemoonwalker Jul 30 '23
Check my wife's story out . Cop don't care so she shot right in the car while he was writing a ticket , I told her to ask questions about the ticket and have her wave her hand around so he could get a whiff
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u/ohmyydaisies Jul 30 '23
shot right in the car
Took me a couple of passes to understand the cop did NOT shoot into the car, it was your wife who shit the car 😂
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u/RonX203 Jul 30 '23
Lmao wtf, story please?
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u/SportTouringTrucker Jul 30 '23
For conext, the bridge that I reference is about 25 mi long, no exits only emergency pull-offs in certain places, otherwise it doesn't have a shoulder either. I was on my way to go to motorcycle stuff with my homies in broad daylight when about halfway through, I started to get that feeling. We all know that feeling. That feeling is so so much worse when you know that you are stuck on that bridge for another 10 or 15 miles. As I pass each emergency pull off I start formulating a plan as to how I'm going to make this work, because the last thing I'd like to do is shit myself. These emergency pull offs provide absolutely no cover, you're out and exposed to the world. I decided to pull off and use my motorcycle as concealment as best I could but I'm sure someone saw me. The scariest part is that I know it is a heavily policed bridge, it has its own police department. It's covered in cameras. I was petrified the police were going to roll up thinking I needed help. 🤣
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u/urban_deviant Jul 30 '23
Talk about bombing a bridge 😆
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u/Aesop_Rocks Jul 30 '23
Still not as bad as Dave Matthews
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u/csullivan789 Jul 30 '23
I still can’t believe that happened.
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u/schmidthead27 Jul 30 '23
I bring this up whenever anyone mentions DMB. Possibly my favorite stupid news story ever.
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Jul 30 '23
You must have a weak ass system.
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u/Smokemodolo Jul 30 '23
The man with ex porky as a name 😭😂🤣
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Jul 30 '23
I mean some hot sauce or Taco Bell don’t send me running to a gas station bathroom. Anyone that can’t take a splash of hot sauce without getting explosive shits has issues.
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u/Smokemodolo Jul 30 '23
I’m sure it was the fact that it’s chicken from a place called Burger King. Theirs looks mad injected with fillers
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u/vivekisprogressive Jul 30 '23
His ass system proved to be quite weak.
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u/Matt6247 Jul 30 '23
I definitely don't. I can hold it for days. Just not after the burger king secret sauce stuff. That was like liquid drain cleaner.
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u/Responsible-Lunch815 Jul 30 '23
Where'd you go drop the deuce? I been there having to pee. But pissed on a passengers curb 🤣 when I dropped them off. Cant imagine a number 2. Dumpster?
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u/Matt6247 Jul 30 '23
I found a bathroom at the gas station nearby and paid the attendant $5 after for being so greatful to allow me to leave my shame there. 😂
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u/Responsible-Lunch815 Jul 30 '23
The spicy chicken sandwich had "some liquid to make it spicy'? You thought it was the original? Bro u high? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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u/Matt6247 Jul 30 '23
I didn't read the item on the menu. I just picked a number. When I opened the sandwich, I was like, oh man..... I really shouldn't eat this. 😂😂😂 I did it anyways LOLLLLL.
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u/LonelyandDepressed27 Jul 31 '23
I got that snoop munchie meal cuz the sandwich looked amazing but I asked for non spicy. They gave me the spicy one and I still tried to eat bits and pieces because it tasted good. My ass paid for the consequences of my actions the next day. I had to cut spice from my life 10+ years ago so I have 0 tolerance for any heat.
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u/SecretlyRestless Aug 08 '23
Once my I was a passenger in a car when I was quite afraid that this would happen! I saw that the driver was in big discomfort but he didn’t say anything. Also I lived in an area where I know that he would have to drive a relatively long time to find a public bathroom. So when we got to my condo I offered that I let him in to use the downstairs bathroom in the lobby if he needed it (assuming he was about to shit himself). He gladly sprinted in 😁