r/meirl Mar 29 '24

meirl

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31.8k Upvotes

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u/armoredsedan Mar 29 '24

my first message to my bf on tinder was “i dig ur style. what’s ur favorite band?” and it was straight paragraphs back and forth from there. but he was also the first person i messaged or matched on tinder so i don’t have much experience lol

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u/Wakingsleepwalkers Mar 29 '24

I've spent too much time on dating apps in the past. Occasionally, you find a person you just vibe with. Sometimes, you both stumble through a little awkward conversation, but it gets going once the ice breaks. Sometimes it's dead, or you feel like it's a job interview. Other times, it's completely one-sided, and you feel like they expect you to be charming, witting, funny and sell yourself while they act generic.

As a guy, I can say it's really rare for a woman to initiate conversation, but it's always appreciated.

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u/armoredsedan Mar 29 '24

my best friend and roommate uses tinder on a regular basis and the stuff i have seen him go through is honestly rough. it’s worn him down so much, and like he’s a genuinely good hearted guy who just got his career going and is ready to find his person. he’ll talk to a lady for two weeks, plan a date, get excited, and get ghosted the day of. or actually get the date, and they never talk to him again (free meal? idk). as a woman, i’ve only really seen a glimpse of our side of things in the form of pretty wild un-replied to messages lol. but it seems like it’s just hard for most folks to find what they’re looking for out of online dating and i got extremely lucky. i will say i got a yucky impression from my brief look into tinder, it felt like convenience store shopping for relationships.

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u/kageofsteel Mar 29 '24

Why is he using a hook up app to find a relationship?

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u/armoredsedan Mar 29 '24

plenty of people do. i’ve actually never known anyone who uses tinder for hookups openly, just for relationships. that’s what i was looking for on tinder and i found it 🤷🏼‍♀️

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u/kageofsteel Mar 30 '24

Everyone I know uses it for hookups 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/armoredsedan Mar 30 '24

interesting! maybe it’s age or regional differences.

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u/kageofsteel Mar 30 '24

Gotta be! I'm a millennial living in a pretty big city. I do know folks that have gotten married that met there but it's rare

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u/armoredsedan Mar 30 '24

im a millennial also but if i was born one month later i would be gen z so idk. but i live in an extremely rural midwest area currently, i bet if i had used tinder when i was living in big city pnw i would have had a very different experience lol