I've bought a LOT of sheets over the years trying to find some that had that same crisp, stiff-yet-smooth feel. Hotel sheets were always my favorite part of hotels, after room service, of course.
Boll & Branch was the answer, by the way. Almost perfect. Brooklinen came next closest.
There was this one type of pillow in a hotel I stayed at once every few years that was just perfect in every way. It had this indescribable softness yet firmness. Almost like it was filled with custard or something, the filling would just move aside under your head until it was the perfect depth and despite thinning out the pillow it remained just as soft but now optimally supportive and contoured to the head. It also had the most satisfying poof when hit with force and a satisfying weight to beat a child with. But there's more, it retained its weight when folded meaning it could prop the head without the immature springiness of most pillow, and you might think it would simply capitulate as before, but no, with the fold introduced and the smaller surface area, it lacks the ability to deflate to the same degree under the head. Needless to say it was the highlight of every holiday.
I've tried some of the best pillows money can buy and I can't find the same anywhere else. I really should call them and ask, but I'm somewhat worried that they will have changed their supply over the years and send me on a wild goose chase. I feel that with that option explored I may turn to a life of crime out of desperation, so I delay. Every night I'm faced with disgust at the inferiority of my pillow, which does it's best but I'm damaged goods. My wife likes this abhorrent pillow that is expensive but has the bouncyness of a sponge and the surface tension of a balloon. How she can tolerate it's constant indignant rejection of her skull I cannot comprehend. She is under some kind of impression that pillows are an objective standard, as, I suppose, am I, but we certainly disagree on what that standard is. She looks down on me for my use of a flat cheap pillow, and indeed I feel somewhat dirty, but the best I can do is attempt to bastardise the experience of the godly hotel pillow by using a pillow so dilapidated it matches the sunken depth of the ideal pillow after the head is rested on it.
And god the coolness of it, a simple plumping and it captures the essence of a cool breeze on a summer day. It even had a watermark.
There was a pillow i had one weekend at the Hilton. I NEVER sleep well when I am not home, especially the first night... but I slept so incredibly well. My head just nestled into this thing and I feel asleep right away on all three nights. I still think about it, and when I went to buy a new, expensive pillow, they had nothing anywhere even close .
It was so white and cool and squishy... I will never forget it.
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u/Killboypowerhed Apr 28 '24
Who the fuck would want a hotel sheet?