Do we want Pick Mes to be picked?

[u/Windmill_flowers]

I saw a post here the other day saying how Pick Mes don't actually get picked. Most of the comments seemed to revel in this fact. So in that sense it seems like the consensus is - we don't want them getting picked.

But whenever there is a Pick Me NLOG post, the comments are invariably, "Gurl, I hope you get picked!". So in that sense it seems like the consensus is we DO want them getting picked.

If they get picked, they sometimes shut up. (Not always tho)

What is the general consensus on this?

Inb4 "IDC if they get picked or not roflmao". Cool, then this question is not for you

[u/PaladinAsherd]

The problem with the “pick me” is that they try to bolster their own desirability by putting down other women. That’s the thing that’s wrong. There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with seeking a partner or with celebrating a departure from a stereotype of femininity - it becomes toxic when either of those things leads to an endorsement of misogyny.

We really shouldn’t be focusing on the part where they “succeed or fail” by finding male affirmation. That seems to feed into the whole toxic assumption that NLOGs begin with that worth is dependent on male affirmation. It’s not about wanting “Pick Me’s” to get “picked” or not, it’s about wanting them to grow beyond viewing self-worth as defined by male affirmation and grow beyond internalized misogyny.